Chapter 3.

Dean never got tired of watching Sam enjoying his life with Eileen. When she went to where Sam was sitting and sat easily on his knee, Dean was probably the only one that noticed how his hand rested on her waist as if steadying her, but he was really steadying himself. She didn't just make him happy, she made him feel whole and human and he needed to have that close contact sometimes, just to convince himself that it was real.

Couldn't be more real than her having his baby. They were a family now. It felt good. It felt like curses breaking and sins forgiven and Sam finally getting the love he had always missed out on as a kid. Their mother had died, their father had become both hard and brittle and Dean had tried, but he was a kid, a scared, traumatised little kid. What did he know about making up for a lack of parental affection?

Eileen turned to say something to Sam and he looked at Dean and said, "You know we talked about that room down the hall from ours?"

"Hereinafter to be referred to as the nursery." said Dean.

"Yeah. It'll take some work. We'll need to buy some stuff."

"Whatever you need. And if you need me to do any work, just let me know."

He knew his brother well and he saw the momentary hesitation while, "It's fine, I can do it myself." hovered on his lips. He saw the decision made and he silently blessed the Pact for getting them to a place where he could admit that he needed to help and Sam could accept, knowing that Dean saw it as the closest he would ever get to the normal family life he had craved for years.

"I'd like that." said Sam, "It's gonna be a lot to handle on my own."

"Best thing about family," said Dean, "You don't need to do anything alone."

Sam put his hand on Eileen's flat stomach. "I love you, Baby Winchester." he said.

"There's no way he or she can hear you yet." said Dean.

"No, but I'm not sure when babies can hear outside noise, so if I start now, there's a good chance it's one of the first things he or she will hear." Sam looked awkward. "You think that's stupid, don't you?"

Dean shook his head. He didn't know where it came from, given his unfortunate childhood, but Sam was already a loving father. He already knew what his kid needed, more than anything else. "No, Sam." he said, "I think your kid's gonna have all the love we missed out on."

Sam didn't answer for a moment. His eyes seemed to shine with tears, but none fell. When he spoke, it was quiet and diffident, as if he were afraid his words would hurt when his intentions were the opposite. "I don't feel I missed out on anything." he said.

"That's because you didn't know what you were missing." said Dean, "Trust me, once you get into the fatherhood thing, you find out just how screwed up our lives were." It was the closest he could come to talking about Ben. Sam gave the smallest nod, indicating that he understood. Cas shot Dean a glance of concern. Cas still felt guilty about erasing their memories and Dean felt guilty about asking him to. Well, about everything, really.

"I know what other kids have." said Sam, "But I had you, always."

"Not always. I was not a great brother."

"You were to me." said Sam.

Pact or not, the honesty was a little too much at this point and Anael and Charlie were looking at him strangely, so Dean changed the subject. "You were right about needing to childproof the bunker. Little fingers, touching the wrong sigil or little eyes looking at the wrong page of a grimoire ... "

"Yeah, exactly." said Sam.

"But we have months to do it, right?"

"We do." said Sam.

"Maybe don't rush teaching the kid to read." said Dean, "That'll buy us more time on some of the dangers."

"As you said, with some of the stuff here, looking is enough. It's not like you need to speak flawless Latin."

"We'll figure it out." said Dean, "We'll teach the kid as soon as possible, how to be safe in our world." He raised his voice and said, "Speaking of helpless newborns, trying to figure out how to be human, Anael, if you're gonna refuse to use the perfectly good wings that Jack returned to you, we're gonna need to get you a car."

"I can do that." said Anael, "Charlie gave me a credit card."

Dean laughed. "Yeah, right. You are a used car salesman's dream."

"I know about cars." she said, looking slightly annoyed.

"I know you do." he said, "But you don't know a lot about conmen. I do. Just let me know what you want and I'll get it."

"You know cars too." she said, "Better than I do. What do you think I should get?"

He remembered their conversation about the cars her vessel had owned. "You want another Camaro?" he said.

"I'd love one."

"It's not an Impala, but no other Impala goes in that garage. First rule of the bunker: nobody has a better car than me."

"It is a good car." said Anael.

"She, not it."

"She has no genitalia."

"Neither do you, but I don't call you it." he said.

"Technically," said Cas, "Angels inhabiting a vessel ... "

"No-one likes a smartass, Cas."

"I do." said Jack, "I like all of you."

He found himself struggling not to laugh. "Why do I bother talking with celestials?" he said. Then he worried about how they would take that. "Joke." he said.

"Why is it funny?" said Anael.

He was at a loss. "I don't know. Maybe it isn't. Ignore me. Kinda buzzed because I just found out I'm an uncle. We'll go out later, get you a car." he said, "Any preference on year or colour?"

"Pre-1980." she said.

"That goes without saying." he said.

"You should pick a favourite colour." said Cas, "He gets strange about it if you don't."

"I don't get strange about it." said Dean, "Besides, I know what colours she likes. She wears them. If you want a particular colour, it can be arranged. What colours were the cars your vessel had?"

"Brown and silver, but I don't want the same." she said. He wondered whether she thought he'd be angry if she wanted things too much the same. He remembered with some regret how angry he had been when she tried to use the name Jo. "Maybe blue." he said, "Electric blue."

"I like blue." she said.

Blue seemed like a celestial colour to him and he knew that saying that would be a mistake. She hated being a celestial. She wanted to be human. She was still an angel to him and she also had stunning red hair that would be shown to advantage against electric blue.

He wondered, briefly, whether he was being swayed more by the prospect of a constant reminder of her celestial nature, keeping him from making foolish errors of judgement or the thought of seeing her with a car that would greatly enhance her image.

"I'll start looking online." he said, "See what I can come up with. With luck, we'll find something in easy reach. I know some dealers in Wichita and Topeka."

"I probably should have let you choose my car." said Cas, "Then you wouldn't mock it."

"I don't mock it." said Dean.

"You call it the Pimpmobile."

"Affectionately." said Dean, "I love your car. You know that."

"You hide it well." said Cas.

"Yeah, well, I hide a lot of feelings, don't I?"

"You do." said Cas.

"I wouldn't drive your car, but for you, it's perfect."

"Because I seem like a pimp?" said Cas.

"No, because you're you and that car kinda fits you."

"Are you laughing at me now?"

"No, this is me being sincere."

"Enjoy it while it lasts." said Sam.