Chapter 4.

"We should return to Sioux Falls." said Cas.

Sam saw the look on Dean's face. A flash of the old insecurity, the fear that nobody wanted to stick around, but then a slight smile at his own stupidity, because if he wanted to, he could go with them and besides, they would be back for hot chocolate whatever happened. It didn't seem like Dean was that insecure anymore. It was the ghost of his old fears that lingered, the echo of a lifetime of loss and doubt.

Eileen stood and hugged Cas and Jules. "Thanks for coming." she said.

"Do I get a hug too?" said Jack, "I should go with them, I' excited to see what they're working on."

She hugged him too.

As he stepped back, he said, "Take good care of yourself."

"You can see everything, can't you?" said Sam.

"I can. Do you want to know the sex of the child?"

Sam glanced at Eileen. She looked uncertain. "Not yet." said Sam, "I'd just like to know if everything is good."

Jack smiled. "If there were a problem, I would've offered to fix it, but all is well."

"Thanks." said Eileen.

The celestials and Jules disappeared and the celestial who didn't want to be one said, "Who wants coffee?"

"I do and I'll help you make it." said Charlie.

"Not for me, thanks." said Dean, "I'm gonna start looking for Camaros."

Only Eileen and Sam were still in the library when Gabriel appeared and said, "Hey, you two, I hear you're intruding on my turf, making baby announcements."

"Our baby." said Sam, "Our announcement to make."

Gabriel grinned. "I guess that's fair. I just came to say, congratulations and good luck raising a Winchester. They are hard work."

"You'd better not try working on this one." said Sam, "You touch my kid ... "

"Well, I actually came to talk about that, too. Because of all we've been through together and because our boy Jack has said he will reduce me to atoms if I so much as think of stepping on the toes of your little darling, I have decided to offer your baby and all subsequent descendants of John and Mary, a cast-iron guarantee that I will not mess with them."

"Seriously?" said Sam, running the words through his head in a frantic search for loopholes.

"Seriously." said Gabriel, "I'll go further. Anyone who does mess with the kids, messes with the Trickster. It won't go well for them. You let me know if you need my help."

"Thankyou." said Sam, "That's the least douchy thing you ever did. Well, that and dying for us."

"You remembered!" said Gabriel. He laughed. "Admit it, Sammy, you love me really."

"I'm admitting nothing." said Sam, knowing he just had.

"Stubborn as ever!" Gabriel turned to Eileen, "Lady, you'll never win an argument with this one, but as he'll never argue with someone as wonderful as you, I doubt that will be a problem." He vanished before either of them could respond.

"I need to get some before pictures of that room." said Eileen.

"Good plan." said Sam. He took her hand and kissed her cheek. "I suppose you have to leave my sight sometime."

"I love you." she said, "I'll bae right back." and she left.

Sam sat and thought about things. Everyone was doing pretty well. Even Dean seemed to be in good spirits and Sam was sure the news about the baby would keep him that way for some time, but he also knew it would remind him of all the things he felt he couldn't have and all the things he had once had, but had lost.

He felt bad about that. He hated the fact that his good news had made Dean think about Ben, but in truth, he thought Ben was rarely out of Dean's thoughts. It didn't matter that no biology bound them. He had been Ben's dad, just as Bobby, in so many ways, was theirs.

The good had to outweigh the bad, though. Dean seemed relaxed and happy and hopeful and that was what mattered. Looking for a car would only improve his mood. Car yards and car advertisements were his happy place.

He seemed to be taking charge of teaching Anael how to fit in better in the human world and he was the perfect person to do that. He could fit in anywhere. He knew how the world worked and when he wanted to, he could work it himself. Anael needed street smarts and common sense and he had plenty of both.

The best thing was that by becoming her teacher, he also became her protector. He would automatically start feeling responsible and that should cancel out any remaining resentment he had about her past misdeeds or her angelic nature.

Sam wholly accepted Anael's intention to be human. She seemed very human to him already and he firmly believed that everyone had to be the master of their own fate. Cas was sympathetic and he tried, but he kept cycling back to his original programming, angels serve Heaven, angels can never be human. It would take him a while, but he would be fine about it.

Dean was between the two, generally supportive of anyone who wanted to break free of Heaven, but well aware that life as a human was not always easy or fun. What he had done best, always, was helping others, whether it was freeing a family from monsters or filling his brother with confidence and he would help her too.

Sam smiled to himself, remembering Dean's latest gift to him, the use of the Impala for the honeymoon and the mixtape he had made for their journey, that started with "The Party Ain't Over Yet" and ended with "Everlasting Love." They had asked him to pick the music for the wedding and he had also given them what he hoped would be the soundtrack for their life together.

Eileen was soon back and she sat beside him to show him the photos. "I think we can do a lot in there." she said, "We could ask Sarah to paint something."

"That's a great idea." said Sam, "I know she wants to be involved with the baby."

One of the pictures showed a book on demon warding, lying on a table. Their reaction to it was the same. Both instantly tensed, aware that not everything was puppies and kittens. The child would need to know about the bad stuff, but their bad stuff too? The Winchester way was to push it down, deny there was a problem and move along, but if Daddy flinched at loud noises and Mommy had nightmares about demonic hounds, the child would, at some point, require an explanation.

Neither spoke for a long time, neither did her finger swipe for the next photo. Finally, they looked at each other and he said, "You know, if my Dad had been honest with me, told me all of it, however bad, in a way that fitted my level of understanding, we might not have fought quite so much. Dean wouldn't have felt that strength lay in denying his pain and fear." His throat felt dry. The next words did not want to emerge. He forced himself to say them. "I might have known it was okay to say I wasn't okay."

She nodded.

"Greatest curse of the Winchesters, silence. Dad wanted to protect us, we wanted to protect him and each other. All three of us went through Hell. I don't want that for or kid. I don't want our kid to feel like the strong way is to bear everything alone. That's a lie and it's a lie that hurts Dean to this day."

"And you." she said.

"I don't ... " he stopped.

"You don't matter?" she said, "That's a lie too and it dies with our generation. Everyone matters and everyone talks, okay?"

He nodded, aware that she was right and happy that she wasn't going to help him to pass on unhealthy coping mechanisms to their kids. "Yes," he said, "But that means you too."

"Agreed." she said, "We won't repeat the mistakes of the past. We won't pretend to our kids that we're so strong we never need help. There's stuff we can't tell them, stuff I still can't even tell you. I'm sure it's the same for you."

He nodded and stroked her hair. "It is, but one day, we'll find a way."

"Yes, one day and we'll tell our kid that too, that sometimes, it's hard to talk about things and sometimes we can't do it, but we try."

He laughed softly. "We may be the two most damaged people ever to have a child together."

She looked into his eyes. "You think anyone gets through life without some dents and dings? We're all damaged. It's just some of us have given up trying to hide it. So we're a mess. At least we're an honest mess. We'll raise our kid according to the Pact."

He nodded again. On their return from honeymoon, she had asked to be added to the Winchester Pact, on the excellent grounds that she was now a Winchester.

"It does worry me a little that the baby's guardian angel will be the Trickster." he said.

She smiled. "Cas will always be the guardian angel of our family. I'm not worried at all."