Disclaimer: Nope, still not rich enough to buy rights to Gravitation. Still just a helpless little fangirl!
A/N: Wow, that took forever to write. This chapter is… long. And if it weren't for Eiri's general… difficulty to work with, it would have been longer. It was fun to write, though, and yeah, I'm glad I was able to chuck out a long chapter. (sniffle) Did anyone feel bad waiting for this chapter to come out? I hope people are still reading this… (growl)
Thanks to tohma4me, Hammie-chan, caberwolf, ashcat, Sueona, and to everyone else who's been reading (and not reviewing?) so far. I forgot to thank Dee for her very nice review. That made me feel better about feeling guilty about not finishing this fast enough. Hopefully, we'll have this finished by the end of the year, or at least by early 2007. Lol.
Uber thanks again to HawkClowd/kageotogi for patiently going through this chapter and pointing out everything from the tiny missing commas to… more heinous acts of grammatical error. You help me improve so much! D;
Next chapter is in the works already, btw, with six pages done so far! Schwa! Expect blood. A lot of blood. (grin) Oh, and point out any consistencies, as usual. I'm such a sloppy writer. XD
One final note (this is getting longer), big chunks of dialogue in italics spoken English. I hope that doesn't confuse anyone.
Chapter Twenty: Prelude to Death
When he opened his eyes again, he found himself staring down at his own reflection in the dark water. The reflection smirked at him and extended its arms, breaking through the liquid barrier, and reached out for him. The pungent smell of blood and rotting flesh assaulted his nostrils as soon as the cold hands came in contact with his face. A finger, with nails caked with flesh and soil, traced his lips and made a path along his jaw.
"Liar," a phantom whisper blew into his ears. It was quiet, soft, but contained hatred so deep and black it shook his soul.
The arms wrapped around his still form, squeezing him until his bones hurt, and then it pulled him down, down, into the dark water.
Blood.
Yukito lifted his face from the sink and stared somberly into the mirror before him. Soaking wet, his face looked tired and haunted in the mirror. There were dark bags around his eyes, a testimony to the sleepless nights he had had ever since the incident with Yuki Eiri.
"No," he breathed heavily, combing the wet hair on his face back with his left hand. "Don't think about that. Don't, Yukito… everything… everything will be fine. Calm down." He began forcing himself to take deep breaths, wishing the anxiety would go away and leave him as he was before all this had happened.
"It happened. But it's never going to happen again. We're all right. We're all right," he told his reflection with a weak smile before reaching for the towel beside the sink and wiping his face with it. Over and over, he repeated the simple assurance in his mind as a form of encouragement and so when he faced the mirror again he was able to smile wider.
"Yes, that's right, Yukito-kun … smile… everything's fine." He fixed his hair a bit and, after retrieving them from his pants' pockets, put on his glasses.
He headed back to his room afterwards.
Yukito's room had changed drastically overnight. Normally brightly lit and organized with shelves displaying his extensive collection of records, books, manga, and other small treasures he had accumulated throughout the years, and walls decorated with posters of Nittle Grasper, Bad Luck and other bands and musicians who inspired him, the room became a mirror reflection of the chaos stirring in his mind. Pieces of paper, overturned books and torn posters littered the floor, reminding Yukito of the rage that had overcome him the night before.
He silently made his way toward his bed and his tired body collapsed onto it. The bed creaked under him and he stared upwards, folding his hands beneath his head. He tried to ignore the darkness and the mess he had made of his room. He didn't have the strength or will to clean it, and he doubted it would help him feel any better. Somehow the gloom, the darkness, and the chaos he had made out of the room perfectly complimented the dark feelings stirring in him.
"Yukito-kun …" he whispered. "Are you okay?" He took a deep breath and moved his left hand to trace the dark mark he knew was on his neck. Idly, he let his fingers move around it in lazy circles. It was the only mark that would probably get him into trouble; the only mark left that couldn't be associated with a clumsy accident down the stairs or a particularly hard DDR session. It reminded him of how he had lost and allowed himself to be… taken advantage of.
He frowned angrily and began scratching at the mark, wondering if he could perhaps scratch the skin off. Maybe then he could come up with an excuse that didn't imply an act of infidelity. He suddenly remembered Ai. "Why are you bothered by it so much, Yukito-kun?" he asked himself.
He supposed… He knew that shouldn't be bothering him so much. He was a man. He had been hurt, yes, but hadn't he taken the same damage before? Bruises, bleeding wounds, cuts… Yukito was no stranger to those. Maybe he didn't get into fights as much as he did way back then now, but he had the experience. This was nothing. If he were a woman, and he definitely was not, he had every right to feel dirty, to feel used, and to fear the consequences. Women could become pregnant after intercourse. It was a fact of life, and he couldn't even begin to imagine the pain of knowing you were carrying the fruit of a rape. In addition, women, being physically weaker, slighter, than men usually suffered worse injuries.
Yukito knew that, despite the bruises, the discomfort, and the internal wounds he had suffered, he would heal and that, physically, it would be as if he had never been assaulted, no – hurt – in the first place. After that, it would be as if nothing had happened. He shouldn't be bothered.
But it bothered him, so much. So very much.
Sakuma Ryuichi had been very graceful indeed when Yukito called to inform him of the… fallout… between him and Yuki Eiri. Yukito knew he had failed and that there was no way the bastard Yuki Eiri would do whatever it was that Sakuma had wanted him to do. In spite of this, the Nittle Grasper vocalist assured him that he was not to blame. All that time, as they spoke on the phone and Ryuichi talked about how big a bastard Yuki Eiri naturally was, Yukito wondered what would happen if he told Ryuichi what really happened. He doubted Ryuichi would have been so graceful— so understanding –then.
Yukito would get better; the marks, the bruises – all of that would disappear. He could pretend it never happened and it would be so.
He began repeating words of assurance to himself over and over again, not caring for anything else but the state of satisfaction and calm he knew he had to come to after assuring himself enough. He didn't notice when the door to his room opened slightly or when bare feet padded across the carpeted floor, occasionally making crunching sounds as crisp papers were crushed beneath them.It was only when a warm hand was placed lovingly on his forehead that he realized he was no longer alone.
"Yukito…" Anne's sweet voice was music to his ears and, desperately, he searched for the familiar face of his fiancée. Soft green eyes glanced down at him worriedly. Yukito managed to smile in genuine relief when he finally met her gaze.
"Ai," he breathed as he touched and gently held onto the hand on his forehead. "You're back…" He sat up and brought her hand to his lips, planting warm kisses on her soft skin.
"Bad mood, Yuki?" Ai laughed musically and used her free hand to lovingly comb at Yukito's hair. "Ruka said you didn't come to school today. I was… worried."
Yukito closed his eyes and became still, lips still pressed against her skin. He had completely forgotten about school but now that he was reminded he would be sure to come tomorrow. It wouldn't do for anyone to… suspect.
"I wasn't feeling well," he murmured. "I got into a fight… with someone."
"Oh…?"
"But I'm alright now…" Yukito lifted his head up and placed hand gently on his fiancée's cheek. He gazed at her silently for a few moments, wondering why he suddenly felt so needy – like he needed to touch her, to hold, to own her completely and be… as he always had been before.
It was as if he felt the need to confirm his normality. That… that…
He pressed his lips to hers suddenly and when he pulled away, he gazed hard into her eyes. He said the first thing that came to his mind; "I love you, Ai."
Anne smiled and then kissed him back. "I love you too, Yuki," she said as crawled on top of him. She wrapped her slender legs around his hips, pressed another kiss to his lips and wrapped her arms around his neck.
Yukito began working on the zipper at the back of Ai's dress. In response to this, she leaned forward to teasingly whisper in his ears, "Eager tonight, aren't we, Yuki?"
"Ah." Yukito gave her a nod. Slowly, he peeled off his fiancée's clothing and began kissing along her neck. It was true that most of the time it was Ai who initiated their lovemaking. The older woman was more experienced than he and he followed her lead, followed her wherever she took their bed play. Even when he took charge, when he initiated it, he had always been a bit hesitant; careful. He didn't know much about sex and pleasuring his partner and if he could he would avoid sex altogether and settle with gentle, loving hugging and simple caresses.
Tonight, though, Yukito knew he wanted to hear her cry, to be with her, to reaffirm their connection. Their love.
To make sure Yuki Eiri hadn't changed him any way at all.
And so he did, holding his fiancée gently through the night and whispering words of love over and over as she softly cried and whimpered with need softly through his ministrations. Yukito poured all of his passion into her, loved her, but when they were done the darkness and emptiness took hold of him again.
As he sat watching over her exhausted form, he wondered why he felt so… incomplete. It felt as if he had been aiming for something satisfying but had failed to achieve it. "I love you, Ai," he found himself whispering shakily as he lay down beside her.
Yukito watched his fiancee's sleeping face closely, reminding himself repeatedly this was the woman he loved until sleep claimed him.
000
Kyoko stopped, giving the brunette who was seated in the table beside the café's glass walls one last look, before turning away and heading for her car. The brunette was Kanada Elena, Tohma's former secretary. To be specific, she had been the N-G president's secretary until Shuichi's 'death'. Kyoko hadn't expected Kanada to return her call. She knew all too well how Seguchi could have easily bribed or even threatened the secretary into silence. She had tried anyway, left a message in the woman's answering machine like she did with Yuki Eiri, and left it up to chance.
Midway into the process of opening the door to her car, Kyoko recalled the conversation she had had with Kanada.
"Frankly, I wouldn't have come to meet up with you today, Amano-san," Kanada had begun quietly, shortly after the waitress left their table with their orders. "But I understand your intentions against Seguchi-san. You want to bring him down, don't you? I'm here to defend his name."
Kanada had been adamant about Tohma's innocence, explaining to Kyoko how he was nothing but a generous and understanding employer. "Seguchi-san didn't do anything wrong. When he asked me to resign then, it was to ensure my well-being. He… didn't want me to get caught up in the media blitz that followed afterwards. Amano-san, you know how they practically grilled everyone employed under N-G searching for clues, anything about Shindou-san's death."
"I wonder about why you're so insistent on protecting Seguchi Tohma's name… I'd like to speculate on your real relationship with him…" Kyoko had smirked, noting the sudden stiffness Kanada's body had taken with what she had just implied. "… but really, all I want is to know what happened prior to Shindou Shuichi's death. You know something. That's why you came." Kyoko had pressed her lips together and tried to look as menacing as possible. "I'll be the judge of whether your information incriminates Seguchi Tohma further or not."
That had shut up Kanada for a while and she was silent until the waitress returned with their drinks. "Shortly before Shindou-san's death, he and Seguchi-san argued a lot," Kanada had begun explaining quietly. "It was always done behind closed doors, but since I was Seguchi-san's secretary, I… heard more than I was supposed to." Before Kyoko could say anything in comment to that, Kanada had quickly added, "I didn't hear everything, Amano-san, but I can assure you; never once did Seguchi-san sound like he… he would have killed Shindou-san over those arguments."
"What exactly were those arguments about, then?" Kyoko had folded her arms and given the lady an impatient look. "Wait, don't tell me – you can't say, can you? Seguchi-san contacted you before I did and warned you about leaking information, didn't he?"
Kanada's face had scrunched up into a particularly sour frown. Kyoko had smirked and pointed a finger at her. "You're afraid, but at the same time, you feel compelled to protect your former employer." She had smirked and decided to add, in a drawl, "It's almost touching, Kanada-san. I'd think you were intimate with Seg—"
"That's not it!" Kanada had yelled. Several patrons from the establishments had given them odd glances before returning to their own business, and Seguchi's former secretary continued in a quiet, slightly embarrassed tone. "Shindou-san… had been receiving threatening… messages before. Seguchi-san had been concerned. It is my honest belief that the arguments they had were product of those… threatening messages."
Kyoko had sat back then, ready for what else Kanada had to say, but after her mention of the messages she became quiet. Getting further information from her became difficult and, in the end, all Kyoko had ended up with was the simple fact that before Shindou Shuichi's 'death', he had had arguments with Seguchi Tohma – screaming matches that somehow never got out of hand or left Seguchi's office – and they were because of the threatening messages he had received beforehand.
She had tried to get Kanada to elaborate on the nature of the threatening messages, if they were in the form of fanmail, email or if they had been verbal, but the former secretary kept her mouth tightly shut about those matters.
With a sigh, she got into her car and decided on heading back to T- University. It was high time she asked her almighty Mystery Club president for some tips on investigating.
000
"So how's the investigation going, Kat?" Shinichirou Mamoru, the Mystery Club president of T-University, asked in a slightly amused tone as Kyoko entered the clubroom. Mamoru was an ordinary looking young man in his early twenties with plain black-hair kept neatly in an uninteresting fashion; he was the type to easily blend into the crowd. According to him, not standing out was a great asset when it came to investigating. He had often reprimanded Kyoko for her flashy fashion choices that made sure she stood out at all times as a 'very good-looking woman'. He was busy cataloguing the mystery novels and materials on the shelves at the back of the room.
"Horrible. I'm stuck, Mamo," Kyoko moaned. She looked around for a seat and, when she found it, she headed towards it and flopped into it unceremoniously.
"Maybe I can help you if you told me what you were investigating on. Just so you know," Mamoru told her. Kyoko pouted.
"No way! I'm doing this on my own!" She sighed. "Still, I feel like I've hit a dead end. I 'interviewed' someone today and… got nothing substantial out of it. Then, there's another group besides me that's looking into it… but really, what can they do when they have the big bad suspect watching them twenty-four seven? Even I can't count on them finding anything I can't find. All I can hope for is them clarifying what I've found…."
"Nothing like disappointment on a bright and sunny Saturday," Mamoru hummed. Kyoko glared at him. "At times like this, Kat, you take a break, take a step back and analyze what you have more closely. That or just really take a break."
"You're a genius. That's why you can say that." Kyoko found herself sighing again. Mamoru was a natural when it came to sniffing out hidden plots and agendas and reading people's thoughts by their actions. Kyoko couldn't boast about having that kind of skill. At the moment, she wasn't getting anywhere. She decided to voice that. "This isn't getting anywhere, Mamo," she whined. "At this rate, I'll be stuck in a desk job I absolutely hate for the rest of my life. I don't even want to think about marrying just to get out of it! My life is ruined, Mamo! Everything's just not working right for me now!" Mamoru shook his head at her but continued his work with the books. "I met this cute guy, for example, but he's taken! Engaged! At seventeen! Tragic! Tragic! Unbelievable, Mamo!"
Finally turning around to give her his full attention, Mamoru gave her a pitying look. Kyoko thought his pitying look looked more annoyed and exasperated, though. "I'm sure you'll find someone else, Kat," he said simply. Kyoko folded her arms and glared at the president again.
"Hey, wait!"Kyoko said suddenly. "Maybe you can—" She stopped herself and began waving her hands in dismissal. "Nah, it's okay."
That got the president's attention immediately. He moved closer to her and folded his arms, looking very dissatisfied. "What, Kat?"
Kyoko stared up at the president in irritation. "I just had a silly thought, but I figured I could easily do it on my own, Mamo. It's not really… related to my investigation to begin with."
"What is it?"
Kyoko grumbled something about manipulative geniuses before she spoke. "I was just thinking about looking into… someone's record. Snooping into them. I'm not really sure about him, see, and I don't want my other group to jump into conclusions – that would be bad for him. So I was thinking… if you could maybe, find stuff about him? I know you have your own connections in the police…"
"Let me guess—this guy is the one you like but is taken?" Kyoko tried to look unaffected by his assumption, but apparently, she was very easy to read because Mamoru was shaking his head at her again in a matter of moments. "The Kat I know is relentless. You don't give a damn about other people unless you like them."
"That hurt, a bit. So are you willing to help me, Mamoru? I swear, I'll find some way to repay you or something…"
The dark-haired president pulled up a chair beside her and sat on it. "Name?"
"Fujiwara Yukito," Kyoko said simply. Mamoru looked surprised.
"Fujiwara Yukito… that kid engaged to Mizuki Ai, 5-dan?"#1#
"You know him?" Kyoko tried not to look surprised. Mamoru nodded and then grinned at her impishly.
"You've got more chance of snatching your dream man then, even though I'm thinking he's too young for you. Last I checked, Mizuki was engaged to the heir of a construction company…"
"And you know this because…?"
Mamoru smirked. "I worked on her case a bit and, you know, because of that… time after time, I check on how she's doing. She got into some… you know, trouble with the press some time ago for being seen with, I suppose, that Yukito-kid of yours. Of course, it never got out of the small Go-circles…I didn't know she was engaged to that kid…"
"Wow, you made me feel better, Mamo…" Kyoko's eyebrows furrowed suddenly, remembering what Mamoru had said regarding Yukito's fiancée. "Wait, what case?"
"Murder," Mamoru answered readily. He looked up, as if trying to remember the details. "It was some time ago, maybe four, five years? I didn't really work actively on the case – I was just a high school student then anyway – but her parents had been murdered. It was hard to crack for a while, then we found clues, yada yada—" He stopped suddenly and then began frowning as he cupped his chin thoughtfully. "Come to think of it, it was her fiance's uncle who orchestrated the murder…"
Kyoko arched an eyebrow. "Go on."
"The uncle had been planning all along, see? The Mizuki family was very powerful, owned some good money-making businesses… all that. The uncle had meant to off Ai Mizuki and her parents so his nephew could inherit all that… But he made a mistake, the marriage was postponed – he thought they were married already… the rest is history. He's languishing in jail now."
"Wow," was all Kyoko could say to that. Mamoru suddenly looked interested then.
"So are you going to tell me what you're investigating? You've got my interest all poked and piqued. What's this guy got to do with your case? I'm sure your little senses are already thinking about the coincidence…"
"A bit… I'm actually thinking more about the engagement—" Kyoko let herself trail away. "Maybe I'll ask him tonight – wait a sec."
She reached for her purse and pulled out her cell phone. At the sight of her handgun inside the purse, Mamoru gave a low whistle. Kyoko rolled her eyes at him.
After pressing the speed dial for Yukito's number, she placed the phone to her ear and waited.
"Hello?" Yukito asked hesitantly, in Japanese, on the other line. He sounded different, a bit tired, much too quiet.
"Hey! Yuki, I'm just calling to ask if you're free tonight? Last time you promised to go out with me but then you said you had to go out with your fiancée and all that!" Kyoko tried not to frown, remembering how he had called her last minute to inform her of a change in his plans. She had been upset for the rest of the night.
"Oh… Fuku—"
"Kyoko-san!" Kyoko corrected him quickly. She heard Yukito's apologetic laugh on the other end and was glad because it seemed like the great Mizuki Ai was nowhere near him.
"Kyoko-san," Yukito repeated after her. Kyoko smiled triumphantly. "I'm not free tonight."
"Not free?" Kyoko tried not to sound irritated by that. This was the second time!
"I'm sorry… I have tables reserved and all…." Yukito paused. "I'll make it up to you sometime."
"You're going out with your fiancée… to a date? Dinner?"
"Knowing you, you want to stalk him. Try to get him to tell you which restaurant he had tables reserved in and all," Mamoru whispered suggestively. He gave her a wink and Kyoko swatted at him in irritation.
Still, Kyoko found herself following her friend's advice. "So where are you dining with your lucky girl?" Kyoko asked eagerly. She heard Yukito make a small sound of surprise.
"…a restaurant out in the city…" Yukito said quietly. There was something in his voice that made Kyoko frown; it didn't sound like the Yukito she knew. Even if they'd only known each other for a scant week or so, the seriousness and the odd melancholy of his voice didn't fit with the smiling face of Yukito in her mind.
"Worried I'll hijack your date?" Kyoko urged in an attempt to lighten whatever bleak mood Yukito had found himself in. "Y'know, I might want to see how pretty your fiancée is. Sportsmanship, you know? I've got to know what I'm up against!"
Yukito became silent. Kyoko was suddenly gripped with a fear that she had said something inappropriate and it had, well, only made Yukito's mood worse. She gave Mamoru a look of desperation, but the club president only rolled his eyes and shrugged at her.
"Alright," Yukito said finally. "I guess… it wouldn't hurt? I have been unfair too, I guess." Kyoko heard a smile in his voice and she found herself sighing in relief as a result. "If you come, I'll introduce you to Ai."
Yukito proceeded to describe the establishment to her then, even telling her how to get to the place. Red Cavalier #2#; it was a high-class restaurant a family friend had recommended for him. There was nothing special about the place, really, except that it was in a fairly secluded place and the food was superb. The place allowed couples, both famous and not, to truly enjoy a peaceful night together. Kyoko thought Yukito was pretty much making sure it wouldn't be as peaceful and secluded as it should be by telling her how to get to the place. Maybe he trusted her. That made her feel a bit guilty as she laid down the pen she had used to write down the details about the restaurant.
"Maybe I will come and meet you two. I'll make sure not to bug you until you're ready to leave though… I'm nice like that."
"Thank you… Kyoko-san," Yukito said, sounding genuinely grateful. "I have to go now, by the way. I'm sorry about last time, again."
He hung up suddenly, before Kyoko could even say a cheerful goodbye. That made her frown bitterly. "Something's up," Kyoko declared grimly. Mamoru made a look of mock surprise. "My instincts tell me something's happened."
"I'd help you figure it out, if only you'd tell me what you're investigating," Mamoru offered again. Kyoko ignored him and packed the piece of paper she'd written the directions on and her cell phone into her purse.
"Over my dead body, Mamo. I made a promise that I'll do it on my own without your great and awesome help." She gave the club president a raspberry and headed towards the door. "You know, if you were actually helping, I bet this case would be a piece of cake…" she thought out loud and that made Mamoru grin at her knowingly.
"I bet I could give you a name now if you'd just tell me aaall about what you've found out so far."
"Yes, I bet you could," Kyoko said softly. "Well, I'm off—" her cell phone began ringing – "oh?"
"Oh? Answer it, Kyoko. Might just be your lover boy," Mamoru said teasingly.
Kyoko pulled her cell phone from her purse again, pressed the pick up button, and put it on her ear. A deep, sexy voice spoke on the other line; Kyoko knew immediately this was the great Yuki Eiri on the other end of the line. She tried to keep calm. She couldn't make out what he was saying but she knew he was talking about the message she had left on his machine.
She opened her mouth and closed it again. The words refused to come out. She didn't want to sound like an amateur! That would get Yuki Eiri hanging up on her before she could explain! No, no—
"Red Cavalier," she suddenly found herself saying, much to her shock. Beside her, she saw Mamoru's eyebrows shoot up in surprise. She didn't just say that, did she? But she did, and soon she was describing the details to him like Yukito had to her only moments ago.
When she finally hung up, she heaved a long sigh and gave Mamoru a very worried look. "Tell me I didn't just do that."
"You did," Mamoru confirmed for her..
She bent down, covered her face and began moaning in agony. "Yukito's going to kill me! At first it was just me intruding and I promised to intrude nicely afterwards but now… I'm meeting with Yuki Eiri tonight at the same restaurant! I hope they reserved at a much earlier time.. or later— Oh crap, I have to reserve tables too…"
"You do realize dates take all night? And your lovebirds are dating?"
"I screwed up bad," Kyoko whispered suddenly. Mamoru gave her a light pat on her shoulder and, chuckling, went back to work.
"Maybe it's time you told me about your investigation?" Mamoru tried again after a while, but when he looked over his shoulder, Kyoko was quietly walking away, dragging her purse behind her by its string.
000
Yuki Eiri wasn't sure about what he had just done. He took one last drag from the cigarette between his lips and tossed it down, crushing it under his heel as he glared upwards at the establishment before him. It felt oddly reminiscent of that time with Tatsuha and his pedophilic lover, Sakuma. If there were any sanity, any self-preservation, left in Eiri, he would have decided to turn back and forget about the whole thing; go back to his apartment and spend the rest of the night writing the beginning to another novel – one that would never see the light of day. But Eiri didn't care anymore – all of it dissolved the moment he lost control of himself and became the very thing he had hoped he would never become. In the past week or so, his life had taken a transformation. After Shuichi's death, he had been terribly devastated, but slowly and eventually, whether he had wanted it to happen or not, it became an unchangeable fact he had come to accept. Lately though, life had decided his peace needed to be broken, his beliefs challenged.
Shuichi hadn't just died, he was murdered, right under his nose. Looking back, the thought made Eiri chuckle grimly. He couldn't protect him…
And then life decided to drag him into the life of one Fujiwara Yukito and subsequently turn him into a monster.
He laughed harshly at himself and wondered how else his life could get any worse. He felt cheap, like he'd been dragged from one thing to another like a helpless child, unable to do anything. Not even a child, actually, like a limbless reject unable to do anything else but be dragged and to suffer while scraping along the cold, rough ground. Whatever else life was going to drag him into this time, he thought, he wasn't going to argue. He was going to enjoy it and help himself to destruction if he had to.
"Are you Amano Kyoko?" he asked the high-school-looking girl sitting on the table the receptionist had told was his. She nodded at him with a smirk, but Eiri could see her sweating and trembling slightly at his presence.
He thought about how the girl in front of him was indirectly the cause for a good lot of his misery so far. He was expecting someone like Mizuki – a businesswoman-type from some newspaper firm—not a teenaged girl with too much time in her hands. Shuichi was definitely squirming in his grave.
"You clearly have too much time," Eiri commented harshly. He sat down and lit a cigarette. He didn't bother to ask her if she minded… he wanted her to mind. She had dragged him out here. Maybe he could have chosen to ignore the call, but how could he? How could he when she had waved Shuichi's matter like bait in front of him with a simple message? Shuichi, alive? Hah.
"So? You think Shuichi is alive now, don't you?" Eiri lazily puffed out smoke and glared at his host through the haze. He smiled condescendingly with a slight sneer. "Aren't you going to explain, Amano-san?"
Amano looked shaken by his words, but she quickly put on a look of determination before he could say anything to that. "Well, I think so. There are things I'm not too sure about – but you're going to help me confirm that." Eiri got up to leave. Amano hastily added, "I need to know more about Shindou-san. And then… about Seguchi Tohma. The more I know about them, the clearer my theory will get."
Eiri gave her a critical look and then smirked to himself. He sat back down again. "You think Seguchi killed Shuichi, don't you?" he asked, not quite able to hide the grim amusement he felt. Seguchi Tohma… kill Shuichi? Hide him? That wasn't new and, admittedly, for the longest time he had played with the idea that his overprotective brother-in-law had finally run out of patience and decided to get rid of the pink-haired brat. It hurt, though; to hear it come out from someone else's mouth made it seem like he could have been correct in thinking so and that it was obvious to everyone else.
The young woman's lips pressed together in a fine line. Eiri knew at that moment that she hadn't been meaning to tell him who her prime suspect was. After a while, she smiled and finally answered him. "I think that Seguchi Tohma is behind Shindou-san's possible disappearance," she said truthfully.
"Murder," Eiri corrected her.
"Sorry?
"I said murder," Eiri hissed. "Shuichi would be with me now if he were alive all this time. His determination would never let him lay low if it meant not breathing the same air I breathe." He tried not to laugh at that; it was silly but true. It was something Shuichi would have said. "I have to breathe the same air as Yuki! To be within five meters radius of you as much I can!"
"That's harsh, Yuki-san." Amano sounded morose. "I thought Shuichi was dead too, but now I believe there is a possibility… Of course, if you don't believe that, it doesn't matter. I'm here to ask about Shindou-san and Seguchi Tohma, after all."
Eiri folded his arms and then called for a waiter. He ordered wine. His tablemate asked for some fruit punch.
"I want to know what he was really like, outside the stage… the publicity.. and all that. His insecurities. Mannerisms," Amano said. "I need to know about his relationship with Seguchi Tohma. If even you think it's possible that he's the one behind this… then I'm taking it they didn't have a very good relationship, am I right, Yuki-san?"
Tohma knows killing Shuichi would hurt you. A voice reminded him quietly and Eiri would agreed were it not for the other voice that said, And he also thinks he always knows what's best for you.
Both were right. Eiri gave the woman a noncommittal nod.
"Yuki-san, I met with Seguchi Tohma's former secretary today and she said Shindou-san and Seguchi Tohma were arguing a lot before the accident." Eiri nodded again, this time with a "Hn". He'd known about that; Shuichi acted differently whenever he got into a fight with his brother-in-law and he learned to pick up on that. He wasn't ignorant; he'd lived with Shuichi long enough by then to be able to read his emotions easily. "She told me Shindou-san had been receiving threatening messages then… did you know?"
Eiri tried not to look surprised, but the question caught him so suddenly that he was unable to stop the sharp "What?" from coming out of his mouth. Amano looked pleased by his reaction.
"I take it you didn't," she said softly, almost with a tinge of pity. Eiri hated that tone. "Well, I suppose we'll be filling each other in then ?" She paused and then broke into a wide grin. "Actually, I think it's time I stopped beating the bushes, don't you think, Yuki-san?"
Eiri sat back and tried to regain his composure. "You've been beating around the bushes all this time?" he asked coolly. She nodded.
"Tell me, Yuki-san, why do you think did Sakuma Ryuichi fixed you up with Fujiwara Yukito?" She quickly rephrased her question, "What did Sakuma Ryuichi want?"
Eiri narrowed his eyes and hissed, "How did you know about that?"
"I work with Mr. K," Amano answered proudly. "That's how I got your contact number, Yuki-san. But setting that aside… have you thought about why?"
"Why? I'll tell you why, Amano-san," Eiri allowed his voice to drip with sarcasm, "Hatred; simple as that. He thinks he's Shuichi's savior – that's news for you – and I'm the devil who torments Shuichi. Revenge – that works too."
Eiri watched Amano's face change, as she seemed to become lost in thought. He let her have her silence; she was probably rethinking her theories.
Their drinks came but Eiri continued smoking instead of drinking his wine.
"Yuki-san," Amano said finally, with a look of astonishment in her face. Eiri immediately decided he didn't like that look but he listened anyway. "Think," she said with some difficulty, "Sakuma Ryuichi is Seguchi Tohma's closest friend. Don't you think he should know something? And enter in Fujiwara Yukito… who does look like Shindou-san. Why do you thi—"
Eiri found himself standing up and slamming a hand violently onto the table before he could even think about calming himself and forming a sarcastic remark to that theory. "Shuichi is dead," he said through gritted teeth, sending the young woman a withering glare. "That boy is not Shuichi."
Amano looked surprised and then confused.
"If that's your precious theory, then you're sorely mistaken," Eiri sneered as he sat back down. He rubbed his forehead gently with one hand as he struggled to keep his voice even. Fujiwara Yukito; just that name was enough to send the dark, angry emotion boiling up in him again, the truth to burn through his conscience again. "I'm not going to sit through tonight describing how Shuichi was just so you can compare him with someone like him. Let the dead lie dead." Eiri spat the last sentence with disgust. "I was happy until you came along and decided to complicate things. Did I really need to know how Shuichi was actually murdered? Up until you decided to unearth that bloody videotape, I was content in knowing Shuichi had died in an accident, possibly because of his own stupidity. And then you tell me he was murdered, that my brother-in-law possibly set it up, and now… now... that he's alive and living as an annoyingly ignorant seventeen year old?"
"Well… it is… possible… I gue—"
"Make up your mind, woman!" He hissed. He smiled and got up. "I've had enough, Amano-san," he declared and then broke into a laugh. "Well, that was pointless…."
Someone began playing the violin; a passionate tune that could only be portraying romance. Eiri found himself involuntarily turning sharply towards the sound. There, in one of the special tables around the unused piano in the establishment, he found the topic of their conversation – the living one—sitting and enjoying dinner with an attractive blonde.
"Ah crap! I almost forgot about them…" he heard Amano say sharply, followed by the sound of skin slapping against skin, and chair dragging onto the floor as she got out of her seat. Eiri couldn't have been more amused.
Under the influence of the hatred he held for the young Fujiwara that he was sure, was mutual – how could it not be mutual after that? – he strode towards the couple. In his mind, he told himself it was all Sakuma Ryuichi and Fujiwara Yukito's fault that he was what he was now. Mean, cold Yuki Eiri – that was him. The bastard. The rapist.
He shut out the voice in his mind that begged him to ignore Yukito in the name of self-preservation. He had been a rapist, but he had done it unconsciously, unwillingly.
It told him he was actively willing right now to hurt someone else but he ignored it completely.
000
As soon as he had those eyes, those suddenly very painfully familiar, eyes trained on him and filled with unbridled hatred, Eiri found all the ill-thoughts he had harbored towards the boy only moments ago gone and replaced by feelings of disgust for his own self. He was able to keep a neutral face but was frozen in place as those eyes seemed to remind him of his sin and of the blatant truth.
What he had done had been unforgivable; not only for Yukito but for Shuichi, himself. He had sinned against Shuichi and those eyes, which looked so much like Shuichi's, felt like they were a glimpse of the hurt, the pain and the hatred he would find in Shuichi's eyes once he realized what a monster he truly was.
In the end, he was unable to say anything, but by the look in Yukito's eyes, the damage was done.
"Yuki-san," the boy addressed him sharply, in a hard voice. He sneered, more to himself than at the action, and spun on his heels.
He walked away and vaguely heard the boy greeting Amano Kyoko with the same quiet voice. He recognized the hurt and the pain in that voice – it almost sounded like Shuichi whenever he pulled the 'I might be cheating on you' trick.
"Shuichi," he breathed as the cold autumn wind met his face the moment he stepped out of the establishment. "For your own sake, I hope you're up there… laughing at my idiocy."
Hating is good too. As long as you're dead…
000
#1# I honestly don't know how good that is. I looked it up at Wikipedia a bit and remembered the titles from Hikaru no Go, but really… Ai is good enough to be teaching old people Go and to be making a living out of it – I just pulled the number magically:D
#2# I didn't want to create another imaginary restaurant, so this one makes a happy return. Of course, the "family friend" has to be Tohma…