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Johnny's POV

Dear Johnny,

I wish you were here. I need to talk to someone. These letters aren't enough. I can't talk to Soda because he'd tell Darry and then they'd worry. I can't even think about telling Steve or Two-Bit. They'd laugh at me, or ignore me. It's awful.

I feel so lost. I don't know what to think. The therapists all talk like I'm going to be able to walk. I should be happy, but I'm not. School is the worst. I have no friends, except for Steve and Two-Bit. And you know them, they're hardly at school anyway. I'm doing good with all my work. It's something to pass the time and make me forget everything else.

Enough about me. I know you have enough problems to deal with.

Don't feel too bad about your parents. I wouldn't even consider them your parents. They were always mean to you. I don't remember a time when they were nice to you. The gang is your real family. You should know that.

We haven't seen Dallas around much. He's been gone a lot since we saw you. I think it's really bothering him. I think he blames himself.

I hope you're okay. I'll try to stay gold, Johnny, but sometimes it's hard.

Your friend,

Ponyboy Curtis

I laid down Pony's letter, placing them with the others. Pony sounded like he needed a friend. I knew he had the gang, but none of them listened the way he needed. The gang was too tough to understand what he was going through. Darry and Soda could help him, but I doubted he'd let them.

I sat back on my only chair. I shared the room with a guy named Tom, but he didn't talk much, not that I did. He seemed as upset about being here as I was.

I went to my bed. I had the lower bunk and Tom had the higher. He was up there now, writing or drawing. I wasn't sure.

I curled up on my bed and covered up. I wasn't tired, but something about the place made me scared. It wasn't anything like the prison I had been at. That was hell on earth. Here I felt like I had something to prove to them. I felt like what I did was something to be proud of, though I wasn't proud of it at all.

I buried my face in pillow and fought the nightmare I was living.

Darry's POV

I sighed with relief when I pulled into our driveway. I hated getting home so late. Ten o'clock at night wasn't my idea of a good time to get home.

I missed getting to cook supper for Pony and Soda. Soda was responsible for that now. Every night I'd come home and there'd be a plate of something I didn't recognize on my plate. I'd have to ask him half the time what it was. I hoped he was making sure Pony was eating.

I did get to cook on weekends, but I had to be out earlier. Then, Soda wasn't normally home.

I hated how we were falling apart, just to make payments. I knew Pony needed us now more than ever, but I had to put his physical needs before his emotional. I couldn't take more time off or we'd never be able to pay all the hospital bills, on top of the others.

I walked inside the house and found Soda and Pony asleep on the couch. Soda had his arm around him and Pony leaned heavily against Soda's shoulder.

I smiled at the sight of them so peaceful. It was rare that they looked so content.

The smile vanished when I noted the dark circles under Soda's eyes. It was bad enough that Pony looked ghostly most of the time, but now Soda?

I went over to them and shook Soda's shoulder.

"Come on, little buddy. Let's get you to bed."

He opened his eyes groggily.

"Hey, Darry," He mumbled.

He got up and stumbled to the hall.

I thought about waking Pony, but figured it'd be easier to just carry him. I picked him up and brought him to his room.

Soda held the covers back while I laid Pony in the bed. I smiled my thanks.

Soda pulled the covers up to Pony's chin.

"Thanks, little buddy. Good night."

"'Night, Darry." Soda yawned and crawled into bed.

I went to the door and looked back behind me. Soda was moving closer to Pony and putting his arm around him once more. Soda pulled Pony to his chest and soon he was snoring along with Pony.

I ignored the leftovers on the kitchen table and just went to bed.

I lay there for at least an hour. My thoughts wouldn't still. I couldn't just relax. It was too hard for me.

Tomorrow Pony would have to go back to school. He had to take the day off today for his appointment. I hoped he wouldn't fall behind. So far this year he had been bringing home A's. It surprised me he did so well, just because he seemed so distracted most of the time. Who knew what else he had to deal with.

I finally fell asleep, mainly from exhaustion. I was glad, though. I had to remain strong for Soda and Pony.

Soda's POV

I woke up the next morning and found Pony was already awake. That definitely meant I had to be up.

I dressed in my DX shirt and jeans.

I went out to the kitchen and found Pony was sitting at the table, dressed and ready.

"Am I running late this morning?" I asked, wondering if I over slept. I looked at the clock. It was only seven thirty.

"No. I just got up early."

"Oh."

I went to the ice box and got out the chocolate cake I had made last night.

"Have you eaten?"

He nodded, but I doubted he had. He did have a glass of chocolate milk in front of him.

I took out a small piece for myself and ate it quickly.

"Do you want to be to school early this morning?"

He shook his head. I wondered if something had happened that made him want to get up early.

"Did you have a nightmare?" I asked.

He shook his head, but the tears formed in his eyes and I knew he was lying.

I rushed to his side.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked, rubbing his back in circles.

Pony shook his head no once more.

A few tears spilled from his eyes this time.

I wrapped my arms around his small frame and held him close. He never openly sobbed, but I felt him tremble underneath my arms.

"Are you going to be okay?" I asked when he pushed away.

Finally, he nodded.

I smiled at him and chucked his chin.

"You're a good kid, Pony. I'm proud of you."

He smiled up at me. It was like a long lost friend. I hadn't seen him smile in a long time. It upset me.

"Let me get ready and then we can go."

I went to the bathroom to clean up and then went back to the kitchen.

"Ready?"

He nodded and we started for the door.

We were interrupted by Two-Bit and Steve coming through the door.

"Hey, Soda. Hey, Pony." They both said.

"What's up?" I asked, my hand on the top of Pony's wheel chair.

"Two-Bit's giving out car rides today. He wanted to know if Pony wanted a ride so you and I could get to work," Steve explained.

"Oh. Is that okay with you, Pony? I could use the extra time to get ready. Maybe then I can be home early tonight," I suggested, trying to make it easier for him by giving him the hope that I'd be home early.

"Okay." Pony wheeled himself outside and Two-Bit followed.

I watched with concern. I knew he wasn't thrilled about me not walking him to school. He didn't talk much, but after having a nightmare, I figured he'd want some comfort or maybe even talk about it.

"You okay, man?" Steve asked, looking at me with a concerned look.

"I'm fine. Let's go."

We left the house. I watched Two-Bit speed away. I hope he was capable of taking care of Pony. I trusted him, but sometimes Two-Bit could be reckless. Well, actually, he was most of the time.