The Final Straw

Few days went by. Claudia spent most of them keeping herself busy running around the office and waiting (so far in vain) for an owl from St Mungo's administrators about Emmanuel's whereabouts.

It was getting warmer, and Claudia threw caution into the wind one night and walked home. It was April now, and she hoped that the milder weather would also bring Sirius some joy. But it was not to be.

He was nowhere to be found when she got home. His notebook was laying on the coffee table, and there was no note. His two-way mirror was there too. James' face appeared in it just as Claudia was beginning to panic. Luckily, James remembered that Sirius had some kind of plans with Remus, a mission of some sort. Claudia relaxed a little that there seemed to be an explanation for his absence, although the idea of Sirius going on a mission in his current state horrified her.

She jumped into the shower, letting the hot water hit her head and shoulders as she sat huddled in the tub. Eventually, she summoned enough strength to get out, put on some clothes and went to make an omelette, one of the few meals she knew how to make. Just as she cracked the eggs into the pan, she heard a knock on the door. To her absolute horror, it was Remus.

"What are you doing here?" she gasped. "Where is Sirius?"

"I'm picking him up. Is he not here?"

Claudia could fell the tears forcing their way into her eyes. "No, he isn't. I thought he was with you."

"We are supposed to go on guard duty," Remus whispered and glanced at his watch. "I'm sorry, I can't really stay. Are you going to be alright?"

"I'll be fine," she mumbled. "Are you going to be okay on your own though? I can come with you."

"You should stay here," Remus whispered and rubbed her shoulder. "It was supposed to be a one-man mission anyway, sitting around in a safe house. I just thought it might do him some good to come with me."

"Stay safe, alright?"

Remus scrunched his nose. "What's that smell? Something burning?"

"Shit!" Claudia exclaimed. "My dinner."

They briefly hugged and Claudia run back into the kitchen. The omelette was burnt to the crisp. Claudia pushed the pan into the sink and turned on the tap. The moment the cold water hit the hot surface, Claudia was hit in a face with a foul-smelling steam. Disgusted, she turned off the water and went to see what else was in the fridge, only to find it empty.

"Peanut butter sandwich will have to do," Claudia mumbled, took the jar out of the fridge, and spread the mixture over some stale toast.

Then she paced around the flat and waited. First, she ate her sandwich, then she cleaned, even did the laundry. All the while, she felt like there were stones in her stomach. She kept glancing at her tattoo every three seconds. At least he was alive.

Well after midnight, Sirius had finally stumbled into the flat. He could barely stand.

"You were supposed to go on a mission with Remus tonight!" she snapped the moment she realised he was unhurt, just reeking of alcohol. "He had to go without you."

"It was a pity mission…" Sirius mumbled. "He doesn't need me. No one does."

"Where have you been?"

"Out with Benjy," Sirius shrugged. "What's the big deal?"

Claudia clenched her jaw. "The big deal…" she began, barely able to get the words out through the anger that came over her. "The big deal is that I've been sitting here like a moron again, worried sick about you!"

"No one's asked you too… I don't need you to wait for me."

"And what about me?" she snapped. She was done holding back her frustrations. "Has it ever occurred to you that maybe I need you? Do you have any idea how hard work's been lately? In what state Alice is? What mood you've been in?"

Sirius scoffed. "If I'm such a burden –"

"Oh, shut up," she yelled, interrupting him. "You know you aren't a burden. I just wish you'd let me help you."

"I'm past help."

Claudia shut her eyes and dropped her voice into a whisper. "Just tell me what happened on that mission. What happened to Tony." She was desperate now. "I know there is more to it, I'm not an idiot." Tears were now forcing their way to Claudia's eyes again. "Please, I'm begging you."

"Forget about it."

"I can't. I know it's bugging you. And I worry you're going to do something stupid and kill yourself."

Sirius snorted. "So what?"

"How can you be so irresponsible? So inconsiderate?"

"You're not my mother, so stop nagging me!" Sirius yelled back, then stopped abruptly and took a few quick breaths. "Kind of remind me of her right now though," he added in a hiss.

"Go to hell," Claudia barked, picked up her coat and stormed out.

The moment Claudia left the flat, she felt terrible about snapping at him, Barraclough's words ringing in her ears. Let him be angry. Do not pressure him into anything.

She stood on the stairs for a while, contemplating whether to go back. But she could not, not without yelling at him some more. She had no strength left to keep it all inside.

So instead, she went to the office. She sent one of the Ministry owls to Remus' flat, telling him that Sirius was home and asking him to go check on him when he was back from his guard duty. Then, she found a sleeping bag in her locker and went to sleep on Moody's couch.

It took her a while to remove all the crap that Moody left there. But it took her even longer to fall asleep. She had no idea how long she lay in the office crying in the dark, before finally managing it.

She woke up to see Barraclough's hard face leaning over her. "That's never a good sign. Let me take you to breakfast before the boss gets in."

Once she was munching on a bacon sandwich in the Ministry cafeteria, and had some coffee in her, Claudia finally had enough strength to explain just why she was sleeping in the office. "I snapped at him. I know I have to give him time but it's so hard. I just feel… If he were to tell me what's bothering him."

"You cannot be so hard on yourself," Barraclough replied and took a bite of his own sandwich. "It's hard. And everyone is allowed a mistake under pressure."

"I'm not sure how much longer I can do this."

"Go to the training ground," he said. "I can spare you. Throw some deadly spells at the dummies, fly around a bit, get out of your head. I promise you'll feel better."

"I do have some duelling to practice for my exams."

"Go," Barraclough said and slid a paper bag with an extra sandwich over to Claudia's side of the table. "Eat this on the way, you look truly terrible."

Claudia picked up the bag, thanked Barraclough and made her way to the training ground. He was right, it did help. She practiced some duelling, flew for hours, throwing quaffle after quaffle through the Quidditch hoops until her shoulder nearly snapped.

Exhausted, she took a shower and made her way home in late afternoon, hoping with all her heart that Sirius would be home and sober. They had to talk. They had to work it out.

She was relieved to see Sirius on the sofa, but the relief was short-lived. He was scowling and scoffed the moment they locked eyes. She could barely remember ever seeing this much anger in his eyes.

"Remus was here," he barked without warning. "He had some interesting things to say."

"What are you talking about?" Claudia asked, trying as hard as she could to keep her cool. Another yelling match was not likely to help them.

Sirius took a few deep breaths. "Have you been meeting with your brother?"

Claudia swallowed to buy some time. "He had no right telling you."

"He thought I knew!" Sirius yelled. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Are you surprised?" Claudia scoffed. "All you do is drink. How are we even supposed to have a conversation?"

"I'm still your boyfriend."

"Are you?" she mumbled. "Sure doesn't feel like it lately."

"Is that why you didn't tell me? Really?"

Claudia looked away. "You would've tried to stop me."

"And rightly so! Do you remember the inferi dog? The guy he murdered in Hogsmeade?"

"The war did things to him-" Claudia tried to reason with Sirius but was soon interrupted.

"He's a monster!" Sirius was shouting again. "He tried to kill you! And you would've been dead if it wasn't-"

"If it wasn't for you?" Claudia shouted back. "Doesn't mean you own me now."

"From all the stupid things you've ever done. This is by far-"

"I thought he deserved a chance."

"Deserved a chance?" Sirius scoffed. "After everything he's done?"

"He's my brother. And-" Claudia stopped abruptly. Sirius face had twisted with such grimace, she thought he might start throwing furniture around. But he did not. He dropped his voice into a deep, cold tone.

"Say it!" he hissed.

"Say what?"

"Say why you really did it," he continued in a tone that could freeze over the Black Lake. "To not be like me. That you think I've killed Regulus! That you're just trying to avoid the same mistake."

"That's not what I meant…"

But Sirius was not listening anymore. He stormed into the bedroom and smashed the door behind him.

Knowing this was her one chance to fix this, Claudia followed him. "Sirius, please-" she said and opened the door.

"You're just like the rest of them!" Sirius voice was shaking now. "Cannot believe I've ever trusted you."

"Oh, so you don't trust me now?" she snapped and then threw her arms around in frustration. "I can't do this anymore…"

"Fine… Leave me, like everyone else."

Claudia walked over to her wardrobe, pick up a travelling back and threw a few t-shirts, underwear and some trousers into it. She did not know why, or where she was going. It was her anger driving her actions now, not her head. "Have you ever thought that maybe you're the problem?"

"Just go."

"Fine." She stuffed a couple of jumpers into the now overflowing bag.

"And don't bother coming back."

"Don't worry about that." She forced the bag closed. "I'm done. This is over." She turned on her heel and marched out of the bedroom and towards the front door.

"I could not care less!" Sirius' voice carried after her.

Claudia did not respond. She did not even look back. She shut the door behind her and run down the stairs. But even before she got to the bottom, it hit her.

It was over and she had nowhere to go.

She crumbled to the floor and started to sob.

It took her a few seconds to collect herself and walk out into the street. As she did, she heard a crash through the closed window in their flat, followed by Sirius' loud cursing.

But she was not going back there. No matter how much he acted out. She gripped her wand and apparated into Godric's Hollow. She crossed the high street as stealthily as she could and knocked on James' and Lily's front door.

"What happened?" James exclaimed the moment he opened the door.

"No one's died," Claudia tried to dismiss his fears. "I don't want to bother you. But can you please go check on Sirius in the morning?"

"I can go right now if you need me to."

Claudia shook her head. "If you go now, he'll know I've sent you and you're going to end up just like me."

"It's going to be ok…"

"It's not." Claudia was on a verge of tears again. "It's over. I can't do it anymore."

"Do you want to stay here? It's late…"

"No, I'm going to stay at Alice's," she said while wiping her eyes. "He needs you more than I do, no offence. And if I stay here, he'll never speak to you again."

"No offence taken," James said and pulled Claudia into a tight hug. "And I'm really sorry."

She could not even remember the last time someone held her, and she broke down completely.

James squeezed her shaking shoulders even tighter. "You should stay here tonight. I mean it."

"No, it's best if I just go…" Claudia mumbled into his chest, before extracting herself from James' embrace. "Can I use your Floo though?"

James led her towards their fireplace and Claudia was gone as quickly as she came. After the Prophecy, Alice and Frank were staying at Alice's family home and had it had restricted access to the Floo Network so that travel was possible only from a handful of places. And James' and Lily's house was one such place.

When Claudia emerged from the fireplace in the Adler's cottage living room, she found only Frank with his feet up on the table, and a huge Herbology volume across his lap.

"Claudia!" he exclaimed and jumped up so quickly the book fell on the floor. She must have startled him.

"No one died. I was just wondering if I could stay here tonight."

"Alice's already in bed." He paused and picked up his book. "But, of course, you can stay here. The spare room has fresh sheets."

"Thanks."

"What happened?"

"Sirius things. I don't want to talk about it… Sorry."

Frank nodded. "In that case, why don't you go straight to bed. Alice should be up early."

Claudia forced a little smile and a thank you. "Oh, Frank," she added when they were parting ways in front of the guest room. "I have couple days off, so please don't tell anyone at work in the meantime. I don't think any of them are capable of cheering me up, and it would just be so awkward. I don't want them to know."

"Sure. I won't tell anyone." Frank mumbled. "Have a good night."

Claudia tucked herself into the creaky single bed.

Finally, she had time to pause and think about how she felt.

She was still seething. How dare he say all those things? That he did not trust her. That she was like everyone else. She replayed the last six months in her head in excruciating detail. All those times she told him she was willing the listen. All those moments when she tried to make him feel safe. And what for? She tossed around the bed, cried and cursed him, all in equal measure, for hours.

Claudia was not sure she slept at all before someone knocked on her door when the day started to break.

"Come in," Claudia mumbled and sat up in bed, running her hand through her hair to get it at least a little under control.

"I've made you tea," Alice said and placed a mug on the bedside table. "Let me get some fresh air in here," she added and opened the window to let in a freezing gust of wind.

Claudia shivered, pulled the blanket over her shoulders and picked up the hot tea between her palms. "Thanks," she whispered.

Alice sat down on the bed next to her. "What happened?"

"The usual," Claudia whispered and took a sip of the tea. "Except this time, he took it too far… I had to get out of there."

Alice sighed and wrapped her arm around her best friend's shoulders. "I don't even know what to say…"

"That you were right all those years ago? That I should've known better than to fall in love with him?"

"Let me make you some breakfast," Alice whispered, nudged Claudia up to standing, and they both made their way to the kitchen.

Claudia sipped her tea and watched in silence as Alice cooked some bacon.

"How did it all go so wrong?" she finally mumbled. "Half a year ago, we were getting matching tattoos. And I really thought that nothing in the world could ever break us apart."

Alice put a plate of food in front of Claudia and sat down. "Are you sure this is it? It's not like you haven't fought before."

"This is different," Claudia mumbled and shoved a piece of bacon into her mouth. "He doesn't trust me anymore. That's the one thing we always had."

"What happened?"

"It's about Tony dying. And Regulus. He blames himself." Claudia sighed. "And now he thinks I think he killed them too."

"Do you think that?"

"No," Claudia paused and took another bite of the food. "But it doesn't matter. He isn't listening to anything I say-"

Suddenly, Claudia heard the front door creak and jumped up, nearly flipping her breakfast over. Could it be? But it was not, it was Frank.

Without warning, Claudia dropped back to her chair and started to cry. "I thought," she sobbed. "I thought it was him. Coming to apologise."

Alice reached across the table and squeezed Claudia's hand. "It's alright to miss him… No matter what happened between you. You are allowed to miss him."

Claudia wiped her tears. "I haven't gone a week without talking to him for four years. Hell, I haven't gone a day without talking to him, or seeing him for that long." She had to take a few deep breaths as her voice shook. "I don't have a family I could talk to. He's all I got."

"Come on, you have me… I'm here for you." Alice walked across the table and hang her arms around Claudia's neck.

Claudia sighed. "Do you have a sleeping draught? I think I need to get a rest."

Alice did have some of the potion, which Claudia took and went back to bed. She huddled under the duvet and folded her left arm under her head. Her Sirius tattoo was pressed against her face. She gripped it with her right hand to cover it up. But it was too late, she was in tears again.

If it was possible to physically feel your heart shattering into a million pieces, this would have been it. She felt so small, so alone, so hollow. Like a fragile shell that would crack under the slightest of pressures…

Mercifully, the sleeping draught too hold of Claudia in a few minutes and put her out of her misery.

"Claudia!"

She jerked awake. "What's going on?"

"Nothing," Alice's hand was on her shoulder. "You've been asleep for twenty-four hours. I was beginning to worry."

Claudia's stomach growled. "That's why I'm starving."

"Go take a shower," Alice said. "You can have breakfast with the rest of us."

It felt good to wash away the dried up tears that were covering Claudia's face, and get the grease out of her hair. Even brushing teeth felt like a revelation. She put on some fresh clothes, run the towel through her hair until it stopped dripping.

Alice, Frank and Alice's mum were already at the table. Gideon was also there.

"Good morning," Claudia mumbled.

"Has the sleeping draught finally wore off?" Gideon asked in a soft voice. "We were all wondering what happened to you yesterday."

"Just exhaustion from work…" Claudia whispered. "What happened yesterday?"

Silence fell on the dining room. Once look at Alice's face made it clear to Claudia that the answer would have to wait.

They ate rest of breakfast practically in silence. Claudia could not help but keep glancing at Alice's mum, who was even clumsier than usual. Cutlery kept falling out of her shaking hands, and she kept apologising for no reason. It was heart-breaking to watch.

Once they all finished, Gideon helped Mrs Adler to the living room and Claudia found herself alone with Frank and Alice. "What happened?" she mumbled.

"Mum went into the village," Alice began to explain. "We thought she was going to buy some stamps, but the locals found her standing on top of a bridge, looking like she was going to jump. They called the muggle police and she got take into care…" Alice paused and wiped her eyes. "If it wasn't for Gideon and his brother, who got her out, she'd be in a muggle psychiatric hospital right now."

"That reminds me," Frank whispered and glanced at his watch. "I should go to the Ministry, make sure they aren't planning to charge her with a breach of the Statute of Secrecy." But before he could get up, the fireplace emitted a huge green flame and out to the living room stepped out Mrs Longbottom in all her horrifying glory, with a rather large suitcase in her hand.

"Mother," Frank exclaimed and run into the living room. "What are you doing here?"

"Well," Mrs Longbottom said and brushed the soot of her robes. "You clearly need my help, so I've decided to stay for a while."

Claudia could hear Alice curse under her breath.

"But-" Frank stuttered and glanced over his shoulder at Alice. "But what about dad? Won't he miss you?"

"He will be just fine," Mrs Longbottom replied.

"Bloody relieved, I imagine," Alice mumbled and rather loudly threw some dishes into the sink.

But Frank's mother either did not hear her or was not listening. "Take my things to the spare room, Frank my dear."

"We don't-" Fran turned towards Alice again. "We don't have a spare room at the moment. Claudia is staying here."

"Well, then I'll sleep on the couch."

"Mother, please!" Frank tried to insist. "It really is alright. Please go back home."

"It's not up for discussion." Mrs Longbottom took off her hat and set it down on the side table. "I shall have some tea now."

Sheepishly, Frank made his way into the kitchen.

"She can't stay here," Alice hissed at him.

"We both know she isn't going to take no for an answer," Frank shrugged.

"Have you seen the size of her suitcase? We can't have her sleeping on the couch for God knows how long."

"She should have the spare room…" Claudia whispered. "I can find somewhere else to stay."

"Please-" Alice said. "Don't. I'll need you if she's staying here."

"Come on," Claudia replied. "I'll come whenever you want me to. But you don't need me in your hair here on top of everyone else."

"Where would you go?" Frank finally found his voice again.

Claudia shrugged. "I'll send an owl to Remus. Maybe I can stay at his."

"Does he have a spare room?" Alice asked.

"Frank, dear!" Mrs Longbottom booming voice had carried from the living room. "Are you bringing the tea?"

"He has a couch," Claudia smirked. "But most importantly, he does not have a mother-in-law."

Claudia sent an owl to Remus and packed her things the moment she got and answer from him saying she was welcomed to stay. Then she spent the rest of the day helping Alice around the house and avoiding Mrs Longbottom, because if there was one person who was sure to ask her about her boyfriend, and who would not be deceived by evasive answers, it was Frank's mother. But avoiding Mrs Longbottom was a job requiring full concentration, which had the nice side effect that Claudia did not spend as much time thinking about Sirius as she would have done otherwise.

In the evening, she travelled by Floo back to London and then apparated to Remus' place, a modest studio in the heart of Camden.

The room was quite sizeable. Remus showed Claudia past the couch (covered in a clean but a slightly tattered duvet set) and into a corner closed off with an antique room divider.

"You can take the bed," he mumbled and pointed at the single bed at the corner. "I also cleared out half the dresser for you."

"Are you sure? I can take the couch."

"It's the full moon soon, and I'm going to be away a lot. Dumbledore is sending me on some long mission."

"What long mission?"

"I don't know yet."

Claudia looked around Remus' studio. She could tell it was freshly tidied and cleaned up. "Thank you."

"I know it's not much."

"It means a lot that you're letting me stay here," Claudia said with a smile. "You have no idea."

Remus made both of them a cup of tea, and they sat on the sofa for a bit in silence.

"I'm sorry I told him about Marcus," Remus finally spoke. "I really thought he knew."

"You weren't to know. And I probably should've told him..."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Claudia shook her head. "Do you happen to have any sleeping drought?"

"I think I have the ingredients. I was going to make it at some point but never got the chance." He stood up and walked over to one of the cupboards. "How long does it take?"

"About hour and a half," Claudia replied. "Which is less time than it will take me to fall asleep."

Claudia took out all the ingredients and got to work. She was a much better potioneer than Remus so it only made sense. He spent the time preparing them some dinner on his tiny stove. They ate, and Claudia downed a portion of the sleeping draught.

"When should I wake you?" Remus asked as she was climbing into bed, her eyes already closing under the effects of the potion.

"Seven o'clock," Claudia replied. "I need to go to work tomorrow."

Claudia was somewhat relieved that she was going back to work. Using sleeping draught to avoid thinking about Sirius could only get her so far. She put on a long sleeve shirt to hide her tattoo from view, downed a cup of tea Remus had prepared for her and was on her way.

In the office, she found a letter on her desk from the St Mungo's administrators. Emmanuel had resigned his position a few weeks ago to take up a role in Hôpital Flamel in Paris. They did not have his forwarding address, but recommended she got in touch with the French.

Claudia picked up a fresh parchment and, continuing the pretence she was trying to get her Slytherin year back together, she wrote Emmanuel a letter and addressed it to his new place of employment.

She just about finished that when Barraclough called a meeting on the Anderson case.

"Let's take stock of where we are," Barraclough began. "Claudia, you went to the hospital this morning to speak to the consultants. How did it go?"

Claudia stared at him with her mouth slightly open. "I don't remember saying I'd do that, sorry."

"It's ok. Can you go this afternoon?"

"Sure, sure." Claudia whispered, still trying to remember when Barraclough asked her to do this, but her mind came up blank.

Barraclough moved on. "Ewan, you were looking at the witness-"

Claudia zoned out. Her eyes landed on a picture on the wall. It was a painting of Edinburgh castle, which reminded her of the time her and Sirius snuck out of school on her birthday to spend the night in the city. Don't cry, don't cry. She was repeating in her head, as her eyes filled up with tears.

"Claudia!"

"Yeah?" she mumbled and tore her eyes away from the painting.

"You were going through the security arrangements in Geneva. Was there another way they could've gotten in?" Barraclough spoke, now with a slight frown.

Claudia blinked. She had no idea what any of them had been talking about. "Portkeys, Floo, and apparition," she mumbled, hoping that would be enough for Barraclough not to realise she was miles away.

"Wasn't there an impenetrable anti-apparition jinx around the whole place?" Oscar asked.

"There was," Claudia mumbled, realising her mistake.

"OK, that's enough for today. Back to work." Barraclough paused. "Claudia, can I have a word?"

Claudia swallowed hard. She knew she messed up. "I'm sorry," she began to apologise instantly and got up. "I'll go and review those security arrangements right away-"

"Sit back down," he whispered. "I'm not going to tell you off. I just want to know if you're alright."

Claudia collapsed back into the chair. "Sirius and I broke up."

"I'm sorry to hear-"

"I pushed him too hard." She paused and blew her nose clean. "Everything I do just makes him worse. I think he's better off without me."

"You should go home."

"I really want to stay…"

"Fine, stay… But why don't you study for you exams?"

"Do you really think I can take any of it in?

"No." Barraclough shook his head. "But at least it will keep you away from live investigations…"

"Thank you for the vote of confidence," she smirked.

"Anytime." Barraclough gave her an encouraging smile. "Also, know that you can talk to me any time."

"Thanks." Claudia got up and started to make her way out of the room.

"And…" Barraclough paused, as if he was weighing his words carefully, "I might know someone that Sirius could talk to. Someone who could help. Someone who does it for a living."

Claudia froze mid-step and turned to face Barraclough again.

When she did not say a word, he continued. "Would it be too weird for you if I reached out to him anyway?"

"No, it wouldn't be weird," Claudia shook her head. "But I wouldn't expect a response if I were you."

Claudia spent the rest of the day staring into the notes from her auror training. There was little she could study for Advanced Duelling, but there was a few things from the Concealment and Disguise course she still needed to master. But predictably she did not make any progress that day. She only managed to do something so awful to her hair that Primrose, Moody's secretary, had to help her restore it to its original state.

Once she had her short messy bob safely back on her head, Claudia went home. Or rather, back to Remus'. She found her new flatmate sitting on the sofa and holding a bag of frozen peas against his face.

"What happened to you?"

"Your delightful ex punched me…"

Claudia cursed and sat down next to Remus. "Why the fuck would he do that?"

"Well, technically, he wanted to punch the wall," Remus explained. "But I flinched, and he got me instead."

"But why?"

"He misunderstood our living situation," Remus sighed. "I tried to explain to him we weren't together, but he isn't exactly easy to reason with these days…"

"He has no business being jealous."

"I'd kind of understand if he wanted to kill me if something happened between us."

"I suppose…"

"Do you want some dinner?"

"I guess."

Remus dragged Claudia to the kitchen, and they fried up some fish and chips.

As Claudia was cleaning Remus' dining table to set the table, she picked up a familiar book. "Are you reading Le Carré?"

"My dad's favourite books. Surprised you know it."

"I found some in the flat I was renting in Glasgow. Was barely able to put it down."

The spy books have given them enough to talk about for the rest of the evening. At about ten, Claudia headed for the bed and Remus made up the sofa.

"Night," Claudia mumbled as she turned down the lights.

"Night."

Sleep had, however, eluded her. Every time she tried to close her eyes, she saw Sirius' face. Sometimes he was happy, sometimes he was not. But both of those images brought tears into her eyes. She bit her lip in an attempt to stop herself from crying. There was no point. He did not deserve it. She wanted to be mad at him. That was what he deserved. Not tears and misery.

So the days went on. Claudia tried as best as she could to focus on work, and not to make any more mistakes. She popped in to visit Alice every now and then. Even living with Remus was getting less awkward.

By the end of the first week, Claudia managed to complete a shift without messing up. By the end of the second week, she managed not to cry for a whole day. And by the end of the third week, she went whole twelve hours without remembering Sirius at all.

In the last week of April, it was finally time to stop hiding from the world and to go to the first Order meeting since the breakup.

Claudia was purposefully late (she did not want to risk running into Sirius) and walked in just as Edgar Bones was describing the internal problems at the Department of Magical Transportation.

"It's not surprising, is it?" she said the moment she sat down. "That internal problems get brushed under the carpet. No one wants to investigate anything for real. We got two Death Eaters we know of working in the Department of International Magical Cooperation and no one is doing anything about it. Meanwhile, Mulciber can barely remember his name and gets chucked into Azkaban for life.

"He was still a Death Eater-"

Claudia closed her eyes for a second. She knew that growl. "I now that," she hissed at looked up at Sirius, who was looking at her defiantly. "I'm just pointing out the hypocrisy."

"Are you sure he doesn't deserve a second chance?" Sirius said and folded his arms against his chest.

"Shut up-" Claudia snapped.

But before she could say any more, Remus leaned in and put his hand on her shoulder. "There is no point."

What followed was the most deafening silence Claudia ever experienced at an Order meeting. She was too scared to look up and know that everyone is staring at her, so she stared at her hands.

"Anyway…" Dumbledore broke the silence. "Let us move on. We have heard from Alastor last week that the Anderson case is stalling. But there is a window of opportunity. Alastor-" she turned to the seasoned auror.

"Right," Moody began. "The daughter of the head of the French delegation to the Confederation is getting married in a few weeks. Most people who were in Geneva will be there. We cannot do a formal investigation but can send a couple of people undercover… We need volunteers. Anyone speaks French?"

Just as Claudia half-heartedly put her hand (she remembered few bits from her governess), she noticed that Sirius' hand was up in the air.

"Good," Moody said. "That settles it. Avery knows the investigation. Black can go with her."

"Fat chance," Claudia mumbled. "I'm not going with him. Besides, my French isn't that good."

"I'll go with Sirius," Benjy said and shot Sirius a cheeky smile. "We can pretend to be a couple for a week."

Dumbledore looked at him with an amused expression. "I don't think French purebloods are as liberal as you think they are, Benjy." When he looked around the room and saw no one else was volunteering, he continued. "We'll pick it up next time…"

"Someone better learn French till then," Moody grumbled.

With that, the meeting finished, and everyone started to collect their things. Claudia was no longer interested in avoiding Sirius, she was too mad for that. She spotted him alone in the corner of the room, collecting his jacket, and marched right up to him.

"Are you proud of yourself?" she hissed. "What the fuck was that about?"

"Did you expect me to hold my tongue when I don't agree with you? Didn't do it when we were together, certainly not going to start now."

His insolence was making Claudia's blood boil. "And Remus? Did you really have to punch him?"

"Did you expect me to be happy paying for a flat so that you two can shack up together?"

"Oh, grow up!"

"So you aren't denying it."

"You're insane!"

"Keep telling yourself that," Sirius mumbled and glanced at the door. When Claudia followed his gaze, she saw Benjy waiting. Without another words, Sirius walked towards him, and they left together.

As if by magic, right at this moment, Remus materialised at Claudia's side.

"I see that those two are still drinking buddies," she mumbled grumpily.

"That's one word for it," Remus whispered and looked away. "I shouldn't've said anything, sorry," he quickly added.

The subtext of that statement was immediately obvious to Claudia. "I don't care," she scoffed. "He can sleep with whatever he wants."

"They aren't in a relationship, it's just-"

"Whatever."

"Besides," Remus continued to try dig himself out of the hole. "It's just a stupid rumour. It's probably not even true."

"Didn't you hear the part when I said I didn't care?" She dug her fingernails into her palm to regain her composure. No matter what she said to Remus, knowing that Sirius was with someone else hurt. Deeply. "I'm going to Gringotts tomorrow. Start paying for the flat myself."