Busted
It was now July and the dreaded trial of the old lady with the cursed necklace had finally arrived. Claudia did not watch the trial like she had with Mulciber. She snuck in, gave her testimony, avoiding all eye contact, and run out of the courtroom to what she would swear were loud sneers as soon as she could. She spent rest of the morning crying in a Ministry bathroom out of sheer embarrassment.
She did not want to go back to her office. They would laugh at her, they said as much. The only person she wanted to talk to in that moment was Barraclough… And he was gone. Forever.
Eventually, she managed to summon enough courage to slip out of the Ministry and went to see Alice. When Claudia walked through the door to Alice's house, she saw Lily was there too. They were both huge at this point and were sitting on the sofa with their feet up. Claudia had to bring them water and a couple of sandwiches before she was even allowed to sit down to join them. For a good hour, Claudia listened as they talked about their pregnancy, prospective birth and everything they needed to get ready. If it achieved anything, it entrenched Claudia's view that she did not want to have children. Sounded like way too much work.
"It feels weird not seeing each other as much," Lily finally changed the subject and spoke directly to Claudia.
"It's for a good cause," Claudia shrugged. "It's good James is looking after him." She took a sip of her tea. "Although he does have Marlene now…" she said bitterly before trailing off into complete silence.
"Claudia, please don't do this to yourself," Lily whispered.
It's fine… He's moved on. So have I…"
"Have you?"
A little, I guess." Claudia was suddenly not feeling too certain. It felt uncomfortable, like she overstepped some sort of a mark. "Maybe. It's not really a relationship."
"Remus?" Lily asked with a wry smile.
"Why does everyone jump to that conclusion?" Claudia exclaimed. "No!"
"Who then?" Lily chuckled.
Claudia had not seen her this excited for a while. Alice seemed to be having time of her life too. She, of course, knew but was clearly enjoying the spectacle.
Claudia took another sip of the tea and whispered into her mug. "Fabian."
"Prewett?" Lily gasped.
"Do you know any other Fabians?"
"Are you dating?" Lily was clearly very excited about it.
Claudia's mind invertedly travelled to two nights ago, the last time she spent time with Fabian. They cooked some risotto together, according to a recipe Fabian's sister gave him. Apparently, it was impossible to mess up. While the risotto simmered, Claudia got to read an early draft of one of Fabian's articles. She fixed a few things he got wrong about the Auror Office procedures. Their second date ended the same way the first one did… Although, it was slightly harder to get out of bed and slink back home.
"Not exactly dating, no," Claudia finally spoke. "We've slept together a few times. That's about it. But it's nice, not to be alone all the time."
Alice finally decided to pitch in. "Needless to say, you have a type." The corner of her mouth was twitching.
"What type?" Lily asked.
"Tall, long hair, brains…" Alice began.
"There's nothing wrong with that!" Claudia defended herself.
Alice laughed. "Then, there is the wit, sarcasm, arrogance…"
"Oh, stop it!" Claudia scoffed. It was not lost on her that Alice was not talking only about Sirius and Fabian, but also about Oscar. But she could hardly deny it, so she shrugged. "What do you want me to do? It's not as if he's waiting for me…With that-" she trailed off again. Out of the corner of her eyes, Claudia noticed that Lily's smile dropped, and she shifted uncomfortably. "I'm sorry. I know Marlene's your friend," she added in a whisper.
Lily gave her a feeble smile. "She might be my friend. But she isn't Sirius' soulmate."
"I don't believe in soulmates," Claudia sighed.
Neither of her friends said anything. Lily was staring at her feet, and Alice was grimacing and rubbing her lower back.
"You alright?" Claudia asked her best friend after an awkward pause.
"Yeah," Alice mumbled. "My back is killing me. I might need to go lie down for a bit. You two have more tea if you want."
With Alice waddling towards her bedroom, Lily was holding her tea close to her mouth and was strangely quiet. She kept glancing towards Claudia, but every time they made eye contact, Lily turned away.
"What is it?" Claudia asked, not able to take it anymore. She knew something was up.
Lily took a deep breath. "I really shouldn't."
"Come on, spill it…"
"I feel awful asking you this." Lily paused. It was not usual for her to be so tentative, so fidgety. She was usually so confident in personal interactions, that it was almost annoying. "But I need to talk to you about Sirius…"
Claudia sighed. "What has he done now?"
"He was always supposed to be our baby's godfather. But maybe it's a mistake. Given how-" Lily sighed. "Given how he's been."
Claudia did not flinch. Her chest tightened, however, and she bore her eyes into Lily. If Lily had something to say, she better come out with it.
Finally, Lily whispered. "Do you think he's going to be ok?"
"Why are you asking me?" Claudia said slowly, her face completely devoid of emotion. Or at least she hoped it was.
"Claudia, please, you know full well why. No one understands him better than you do."
"How about asking his best friend?" Claudia scoffed. "Or his actual girlfriend? You know, your best friend?
"I know it's a lot to ask…"
"It's not fair to ask me this!" Claudia barked and stood up. "I know you're worried about your baby. But that does not give you the right…"
"Clau-"
"I have to go," Claudia mumbled and ran out of Alice's house, only realising it was too far to apparate home when she stepped out of the door. The last time she tried, she got splinched. And she did not want to go back to use the Floo and face Lily again. So, she set off to the train station.
How could she? Claudia was full of rage as she walked down the country lane under the stormy sky. Lily always liked to pretend how sensitive and considerate she was. How she understood others. But instead, all she cared was about herself.
Claudia walked so quickly, that she was completely out of breath by the time she got to the station. She just about managed to buy one of the remaining first-class tickets and slump to her seat, before the train started to move and the rain started to fall.
She watched the countryside run past, her head resting on the window. The further she got, the more tears filled her eyes. How the fuck could Lily be asking her this? Asking her to dredge up her feelings about Sirius like this. To make a judgement whether he was good enough to be that dumb baby's godfather. When she had no idea what was actually wrong with him. Because he fucking refused to tell her!
By the time the train stopped in the next station, however, Claudia was having second thoughts. There was a war on, and Lily looked scared. Maybe she ought to have stayed, talked it through with her. After all, she was eight months pregnant and only wanted the best for her baby.
In a way, it was good of her to seek Claudia's counsel. She did Sirius better than anyone else, there was no denying that.
Two more stops had passed before Claudia came to the realisation that she could not just leave the situation as it was. She waved the conductor down to ask for some paper and a pen and began writing.
'Dearest Lily,
I'm sorry for blowing up on you earlier.
I have not really stopped to think about Sirius since we broke up. I cannot think about him at all, you see. Whenever I do, my heart breaks all over again.
And you were asking me to imagine him as a godfather to your baby. As someone who would raise them if something happened to you.'
A tear landed on the paper, dissolving some of the ink. When she was with Sirius, it never crossed her mind they would get married and have children. But she suddenly felt differently. The thought of Sirius raising a kid with someone else. It physically hurt.
For weeks she had been trying to ignore the fact Sirius seemed better. He was back at Order meetings, taking missions. She hated that he was better with someone else. It should have been her. He should have gotten better with her.
But Claudia wiped her tears, focused on Lily, took a deep breath, and continued…
'To answer your question… I do not know if and when he is going to be back to his old self. I know that is not what you wanted to hear.
But I can tell you that this is not him. The sulking, the aggression… Alright, it is a little bit like him. But he's kind, gently, loving. And that could never go away, no matter how deeply he is burying that part of himself right now.'
Claudia wiped her eyes again and brushed the word 'loving' with her fingers. How was she still writing this? How could she possibly still think that? But it was true. She did not want to admit it to herself, but she did not hate Sirius. She missed him. With every fibre of her body, she missed him. With her hand ever so slightly trembling, she resumed writing.
'He needs something to live for. Someone to keep going for. I am sure if you made him godfather, he would snap out of this state he is in.
And he would be great. You know he would run into a burning building for the people he loves. He would be so desperate to prove he is not his mother, he would shower the kid in love and move the Earth for them.
Claudia'
Claudia had to drop back to her seat as to not flood the paper with more tears. Just about, she managed to scribble her name and stuff the paper into an envelope, already provided. At Waterloo Station, she posted it to Lily's Godric Hollow's address and apparated home.
She had to resort to drinking sleeping draught again that night, otherwise she would not have been able to fall asleep. It had been months since her and Sirius broke up, and yet… It did not hurt any less than it did the morning after.
Claudia dragged her feet to work the following morning. She did not want to be mocked over the old lady trial, but she wanted even less to mope around Remus' flat. So, she pulled the collar of her leather jacket close to her face, and with her head down nearly run through the Ministry atrium. She only looked up once she was in the lift, once it was too late.
Two fellow auror trainees were standing right next to her. Hugo Green, the former Ravenclaw Quidditch captain, and that annoying American bloke whose name she successfully forgot. She scoffed at turned away, fully expecting a barrage of facetious questions and snide remarks about her professional failure. But none came. The lift stopped at the Auror Office floor and they both scuttered off.
Somewhat puzzled, Claudia set down the corridor towards her office. But it was the same story there as in the lift. No one said a word. No one acted any differently than they would have on any other day.
"Why is everyone being so weird?" she mumbled as she stepped over the threshold of her office.
"Weird?" Oscar asked sharply. "How? Did anyone say anything?"
"No," Claudia shook her head. "That's the weird part. Everyone's acting like I haven't made a complete fool out of myself in front of the whole Ministry."
"Good." A smile flashed across Oscar's face, and he returned to his paperwork.
Claudia's eyes narrowed. "What did you do?" she whispered. But no response came, so she turned to Ewan. "What did he do?"
Ewan smiled too. "We had a little word with people. Anyone making fun of you will have to answer to us."
Claudia did not know what to say, so she just stood there. "Does it mean-" she clear her throat. "Does it mean you wanted monopoly on the jibes?"
"No monopoly," Ewan said. "No jibes."
Claudia's body unclenched and she went to sit down at her own desk. She felt more relieved than she expected to be. Clearly, this whole thing was causing her more anxiety than she expected to. She was just looking at some fresh intelligence when a loud crash and groan came out of Moody's office. Claudia jumped up and made her way to the door, to see what happened.
But Oscar stopped both her and Ewan and went to the door himself. "Let me handle this…" He knocked and without waiting for an answer from Moody, stepped in and shut the door behind him.
Claudia tried to listen but all she could hear were undistinguishable hushed voices. "Is he alright?" she whispered to Ewan instead. The only thing on her mind was her brother. She needed to go talk to him again, as his silence was getting weird.
"No. He's still completely out of it. Barely leaves his office." But before Ewan could say anymore, the door flew open.
"I'm going, and that's final-" Moody was growling at Oscar and putting his coat on.
"Boss," Claudia jumped to her feet and blocked his path.
"Get out of my way!" Moody barked, but Claudia stood her ground.
"I think I should follow up with my brother," she said. "To see if the offer is still good."
Moody did not say anything, just blinked twice. But the lines on his face were getting more prominent and Claudia could swear he was getting redder too. "You will forget about your brother, do you understand?" he hissed.
"But-"
"NO!" he yelled. "Forget it. You as much as breathe his name in here and you're finished."
"But-"
"DO YOU KNOW HOW TO FOLLOW A FUCKING ORDER?" Moody was now louder than Claudia had ever heard. A whiff of whiskey was coming out of his mouth. "You are just a fucking trainee. I can get you kicked out of here in minutes, after everything you put me through."
Claudia bit her lip. She felt like yelling too, but just about managed to restrain herself. The whiff of whiskey at nine in the morning was not a good sign.
"I mean this, Avery." Moody spoke in a low threatening tone. "Drop this, or you're getting fired. I'll move you to Records for the rest of your life. Don't think I wouldn't-" With those words, he pushed her aside and stormed out of the office.
Oscar sighed and put his hand on Claudia's shoulder. "I need to follow him before he disappears. But please listen to him. Don't make this worse for us than it needs to be."
Wearing a frown on her face, Claudia shuffled to her desk and dropped to her seat. She did not want to feel angry, but she could not help it. She liked Moody, and she knew that he was hurting and why. But there really was no need to yell at her like she was a child…
"It's going to get easier," Ewan interrupted her train of thoughts.
"Bloody well hope so." Claudia glanced at her watch. "I totally forgot I have classes today," she mumbled. "I've got to go."
That was a lie. She did not forget, and she had at least another hour before she had to report for auror training. She popped into the cafeteria to get a bacon sandwich. It still brought a tear to her eye. What would she do to have Barraclough with her right now.
Within the hour, she found herself in the classroom, fully expecting to spend a day staring out of the pretend window and finding a way to convince Moody to let her talk to her brother. She did manage to convince him before… But it turned out she was wrong. The class was a lot more exciting than scheming.
"Legilimency is a bit like sex," Miss Sachs opened the class. "It's legal to do it as long as the other person tells you they want you to," she said to stifled chuckles across the room. "I'm only going to teach you the spell, so you know how it feels and what it's like. The main point of this course is to learn Occlumency. To block someone from trying to read your mind."
"Is Legilimency Dark Magic?" asked some fresh trainee.
"What even is Dark Magic," Miss Sachs shrugged. "If you misuse any magic, it's dark. If you used Legilimency to read or alter someone's mind to your own gain? Yes, it's dark magic. If you're using it to heal them, not so much…"
"You can alter someone's mind?" the trainee spoke again in a voice that trembled slightly.
"You can plant visions if you're good. Some can even learn Legilimency telepathically, enabling them to plan visions across long distances. But talent like that is rare."
"Is it admissible in evidence?" Claudia interrupted. "Not the visions of course, but if you were to read someone's mind to learn the truth."
"Don't even think about that," Ms Sachs said curtly. "Use Legilimency on a suspect and you'll find yourself without a job in a matter of hours. It used to be legal, but there were just too many inaccuracies-"
"So, we can torture them for information, but not actually read their mind," Claudia interrupted with a grimace, pointing out this obvious flaw in the Auror Office procedures. Well, obvious to her anyway.
"I will choose to believe you are being facetious, Miss Avery. And that you know that you cannot torture someone for information. Especially given your disciplinary record-"
"Yeah, yeah," Claudia mumbled and recited the regulations. "While the use of the Unforgivable Curses is being permitted on official duty by qualified aurors, it needs to be in circumstances prescribed within this guidance. So far, no permissible use has been identified for the Crutiatus Curse."
"Well remembered," Ms Sachs said and swiftly moved on. "Now, I will need a volunteer." She looked around the room and pointed at one of the other first year trainees. "You… Now, empty your mind of all emotion." She pointed her wand at his head and for a minute or so, started intensely into the trainee's eyes, while he squirmed. Eventually, Ms Sachs lowered her wand. "How did it feel?"
The trainee shuddered. "Invasive. Like memories were flashing through my head; and I knew you were seeing them, and I could not quite stop you."
"Right. Remember. You must clear your mind of all emotion, and focus! Who's next?"
Claudia slowly raised her hand. She wanted to try. She closed her mind and imagined herself flying above the Great Lake. She emptied her mind, emptied it of all her emotions. It felt good.
"Ready?" Ms Sachs asked.
Claudia, with her eyes still shut, nodded.
It felt like the Great Lake in front of her eyes was suddenly drawn on a curtain that someone was pulling on, trying to get it down. Waves were rising high, trees on the shore were bending under the force of strong gusts. But Claudia kept breathing deeply and did not allow her concentration to break. Eventually, the tugging stopped, and the Great Lake was peaceful again.
"That was very good, Miss Avery." Ms Sachs mumbled, and Claudia opened her eyes. "Do you want to have a go at me?"
Claudia gasped. "Can I?"
Ms Sachs explained the hand movement and the incantation. "Show me what you can do."
Claudia pointed her wand at Ms Sachs, focused all her energy on looking through her eyes and muttered the spell. Nothing happened for a while, but then, just for a second, a few random images flashed in front of her eyes – a little girls playing on the swings, being sorted to Ravenclaw, kissing a boy under the Quidditch stands.
"Stop!" Ms Sachs barked, and Claudia dropped her wand immediately, a little petrified of what just happened.
"Did I do it wrong?" she whispered.
Ms Sachs was gasping for breath. "How did you- Have you ever done this before?"
Claudia shook her head.
"I've never seen anything like it," Ms Sachs whispered. "You have such raw talent."
Claudia blushed. Never in her seven years at Hogwarts had a teacher told her she had a real talent for anything. Sure, she studied hard and was good in most things. But a real talent? A prodigy? Maybe in Potions and Alchemy, but Slughorn was so blinded by his obsession with Lily that he could not quite see it. Claudia spent the rest of the lesson sitting on a cloud and afterwards, Ms Sachs caught her.
"I meant what I said," the instructor said. "I have never seen anyone do this well on their first try."
"I've had a lot of experience blocking my emotions," Claudia smirked.
"I have a friend who's an expert Legilimens," Ms Sachs said. "If you want, I can arrange for you to meet him. Maybe learn something. This course isn't quite going to do it for you, I'd think."
"That would be wonderful, thank you."
"He'll be in touch."
"See you next week."
Claudia practically skipped to Fabian's that night. They had dinner, she told him all about Legilimency, and afterwards they settled down on the sofa with a bottle of wine.
"Now," Fabian whispered and brushed her arm. "Will you promise me not to sneak out at four in the morning again? I want to make you breakfast."
"Do you make a good coffee?" Claudia smirked.
"Only one way to find out," he whispered and kissed her.
Claudia laughed. He was so easy to talk to, to joke around with. It felt good to have this time together.
"Oh," Fabian mumbled when their lips parted, and he reached for the bottle of wine to fill up their glasses. "I think I know which of your friends you've been talking about when you asked about Gideon."
"Really?"
"I gather they're going for a drink."
"I'm glad," she said and took a sip of wine. "Remus is a good guy, and he deserves a bit of happiness in his life."
When Fabian and Claudia were lying in bed that night, their pulse returning to normal, she had to admit sex was starting to feel like they knew each other. Like they knew what the other liked. It was not awkward at all anymore.
"Do you want some water?" she whispered. It was getting dark, almost pitch black now. But Fabian did not respond. Claudia lifted her head to see if he was sleeping, but he was not. He was staring at her tattoo.
"It's-" she began.
"You don't have to explain," Fabian said slowly, his face unreadable. "I was good at astronomy."
Claudia gave him an awkward smile. "I don't know what to say…" she mumbled after a long pause.
"You don't have to say anything. It's clear you still care for him, and that's ok. We both know what this is."
"That's not all," Claudia sighed and retracted her arm to hide the tattoo under the blanket. "It's enchanted. As long as Sirius lives, the tattoo is intact. If he dies, the star will disappear. So if I was to get rid of it-" she trailed off.
"It would mean it's over?"
Claudia shook her head. "It would mean I no longer care if he's dead or alive. And I will always care."
Fabian let out a long sight. "This war sucks… You're twenty, for fuck's sake. You shouldn't have to think like this."
Claudia cuddled up to Fabian and buried her face in the crook of his neck. "Thank you for making it just that little bit more bearable."
She could feel Fabian's arms closing around her. His hand sunk into Claudia's short hair. It was heavenly, until-
"Ouch!" she screamed, as sharp pain engulfed most of her skull. "Your watch. Tangled. Ouch."
"Stop wriggling," Fabian mumbled and slowly stared to extract his wristwatch from Claudia's hair. Eventually, he succeeded.
"Give me that," Claudia hissed, rubbing her skull, and took the watch off his wrist and turned over to drop it on the nightstand. But she misjudged the height of the table, and both the watch and her hand crashed right into the sharp corner. "Shit!" She sat up abruptly and switched on the bedside light. There was throbbing pain in her hand, but that was least of her concerns.
To her relief, the stars were still moving around the clockface of Fabian's watch at the usual speed. "It's not broken." She turned the watch over in her hand. "Although it seems little dented. Let me fix-" she reached for her wand.
"Leave it," Fabian mumbled and dragged Claudia back in bed. "Will remind me of you…"
Claudia chuckled. "Sounds about right. A dent to remember me by."
Fabian wrapped his arms around her again. "I said remind, not remember. I won't need any help remembering you, ever."
"You're good with words."
"Should I write for a living?"
They laughed, kissed, and with Fabian's deadly watched safely away from Claudia's hair, they fell asleep. It was strange to wake up in the morning in the arms of someone who was not Sirius. But Fabian's bed was warm, and his coffee was nice.
Unfortunately for Claudia, that fresh cup of coffee Fabian brought to her in bed was the highlight of her week. It was very clear that Moody's team were still being punished by Crouch and were being given the most pointless missions and tasks. Moody barely ever showed his face, and no one could quite look him in the eye when he did. After this slow and painful week, it was time for the next meeting of the Order of the Phoenix, this time taking place in a disused office building in South London.
Claudia was standing in the lift, watching the door shut, when someone stuck a leg in. Claudia's heart sank a little when she saw it was Benjy.
"I'm sorry about Barraclough," he mumbled as they both stood rigid on the opposite sides of the lift. "He was a decent guy."
"Yeah, he was," Claudia whispered, not especially grateful for the reminder. Most days, she managed to go a couple of hours without remembering him, maybe even half a day. But every time she did remember him, it still made her profoundly sad, and she did not need that right now. Not when she expected another awkward Order meeting. "Thanks." She folded her arms across her chest and continued to stare at the door, hoping it would open soon and save her this awkwardness. She never did well around other people Sirius was involved with, and Benjy was no exception.
"I just want you to know. Sirius and I-" Benjy spoke again to Claudia's absolute horror. "It didn't start until after you broke up, I swear."
It felt like a stone had fell of Claudia's chest (a stone she did not even realise was crushing her), and her eyes darted towards Benjy.
"I wouldn't. And he certainly wouldn't either," Benjy said with a soft smile.
"Thanks, I guess?" Claudia stuttered. They were still not up on the floor where the meeting was, so she attempted to change the conversation. "What have you been working on?"
"I've been assigned to the Ministers office for a few months. They're trying to get a couple of aurors to work there as private secretaries, for additional security."
"That sounds interesting, I did a summer placement there when I was still at school."
"You should definitely give it a go, then!"
"I don't think it's the right time," Claudia said, attempting a smile herself. And with those words, the elevator stopped, and the door slid open.
Leaning on a radiator by the window was Fabian, reading the papers. Claudia walked over to him, and when she saw Benjy disappear behind a door, she gave Fabian a quick kiss. "Anything good in there? And by that I mean yours…"
"Nah," Fabian sighed. "Editor's giving me a hard time over the Crouch article. Wants me to do more research…" Then he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in for another kiss.
"Someone will see," she chuckled as their lips parted.
"Do we care?" Fabian whispered.
"I guess we have a little more time before the lift makes it down and up again," she mumbled and sunk into Fabian's embrace, giving him another kiss. She did not know what it was about him, but every time they kissed, her anxieties and worries had gone for a second or two…
But the relative peace did not last long. There was a loud thud, and their kiss was ruined.
Claudia jumped away from Fabian and turned to the source of the noise.
It was worse than she could have possible imagined. There was Sirius, staring at her with his fists clenched. He must have taken the stairs.
"I care is he finds out…" Claudia mumbled to herself.
Fabian patted her on the shoulder. "I'll see you inside. In case you two want to talk."
Sirius and Claudia stared at each other in complete silence until Fabian was gone.
"Him? Really?" Sirius scoffed.
"What do you expect me to do? Stay single forever?"
"I'm not jealous," he barked defensively.
"Didn't say you were."
"Whatever," he hissed and strode towards the meeting.
Claudia sighed and, in a few seconds, followed him. While this could have gone better, it could have also gone a lot worse. For a start, nobody got punched…
When she sat down, Fabian was asked to update the Order on the Prophet investigation. "The patrol officers weren't able to track down Rosanne-" he began. "We have this pretty decent sketch, but no one recognised her…"
Claudia leaned closer to Fabian to look at the sketch of a young, pretty woman with long flowing hair that was lying in front of him.
"Shock horror." Sirius interrupted Fabian. "What has the Ministry ever done that was useful?"
Fabian shrugged. "I kind of get it. It's just not a priority-"
But Sirius was not deterred. "You should've gone after her yourself then!"
"I'd lose my job if I did-" Fabian said through gritted teeth. Claudia had never seen Fabian angry, but she had a sneaking suspicion he was getting close.
"Coward," Sirius mumbled under his breath, and folded his arms across his chest. But he did not aver his gaze. He started at Fabian so defiantly as if he was daring him to fight.
"Some of us need a job," Fabian said icily. "Can't just live on family money."
That was a low blow from Fabian, and Sirius reacted to the mention of his family allegiance about as well as Claudia expected him to. He jumped to his feet and leaned across the table, his eyes flaming. But James, who was sitting next to him and was used to controlling his best friend's outbursts, dragged him back to the chair. Claudia wanted to sink into her seat and disappear but manage to take a little bit of pleasure in watching Marlene attempt to touch her boyfriend's arm, only for Sirius to flinch and move away.
"Anyway," Fabian said, his voice still shaking slightly. "If any of you ever hear of a Rosanne – a tall blond with an Irish accent, let me know. But in the meantime, patrol are dropping it. I suggest we do the same."
"Like we drop everything else…" Sirius mumbled. "This is all just pointless."
Claudia caught Lily's eyes. She looked alarmed. She must have been wondering the same thing Claudia was. Has Claudia changed her mind over what she said to Lily earlier? Was Sirius in the right state of mind to be anyone's godfather?
But Claudia had no idea what to think anymore and spent the rest of the meeting only half listening to reports about Death Eater activities, avoiding both Fabian's and Sirius' eye contact. Muggle-born harassment, Pertinger, Crutiatus Curse, Carmichael, East Midlands… That were the only things that she could remember by the end of the meeting and none of them made any sense at all.
Just before heading home, she popped into the toilet but on her way out bumped into Peter.
"What are you looking at?" she barked when she noticed a loathsome look on his face.
"Even when you're finally gone, you can still ruin everyone's mood," he hissed. "But not for long, let me assure you. You have no idea how happy everyone is now you are gone."
"Yeah? Feeling brave again?" she smirked and stuck her hands under the tap to wash them. "Didn't you learn not to cross me?"
"Expelliarmus!"
Claudia was totally caught off guard and her wand flew out of her pocket before she could react. Peter, clutching both of their wands, walked up so close to Claudia she could smell his stale breath. The tip of his wand was uncomfortably near her chest.
"With you out, we're all closer than ever," he hissed. "You'll never get between me and my friends again."
Claudia took a few steps back but there was only wall behind her. And Peter took those steps with her…
"With Marlene-" he continued, closing in.
The mention of that name was too much for Claudia. She lost her composure. "What about Marlene? Does she make you all cookies? Tugs you into bed?" She made a desperate attempt to snatch her wand back, but Peter was faster
"You make jokes, Avery," he said with a hollow laugh. "But you are Death Eater scum, always have been. You have no place here-" he took yet another step closer. "And I'm so glad Sirius dumped you-"
Claudia was just about ready to kick him in the balls, when the door to the toilet flew open.
"What the fuck?" Sirius barked, grabbed Peter by the back of his sweater and dragged him out of the bathroom. Before Claudia unfroze to follow them, he was back. "Your wand," he mumbled. "Are you alright?"
Claudia snatched it from him. "Don't you dare play a hero."
"What did he say to you? Sounded out of line…"
"He's just talking to people the same way you and James always do," Claudia scoffed. "What did you expect? He is not a nice person… Never was."
"Claude- I want to-"
"Leave me alone," she interrupted him. "And Fabian too!"
"I'm sorry…"
"Take your sorry and shove it up your arse."
She pushed past Sirius and went to find Fabian in the dispersing crowd of Order members (Peter had since disappeared).
"Do you want to come to mine?" Fabian whispered. "I don't have to work tonight."
Claudia sighed. She wanted to, but there was something she needed to get off her chest first. "I'm sorry about him…" she whispered, unable to look at Fabian out of sheer embarrassment.
"Don't-" Fabian shrugged, got up and offered Claudia his hand. "I know what it's like seeing your ex with someone else. And he's just a kid- he'll grow out of it."
"He's not a kid, he's older than me," Claudia said, her eyes narrowing
"Well, I don't see you yelling at his new girlfriend."
"No, my rage is much more internal…" she smirked.
Fabian laughed and put his arm around her. "Let's get out of here."
Claudia woke up in the morning, just as Fabian sat down on the bed next to her, this time with a bacon sandwich for breakfast. She remembered Barraclough. But all it did this time was to bring a smile to her face. This was the first time, she looked at a bacon sandwich without bursting into tears.
Claudia threw on the first t-shirt she found and took a bite.
"When do you have to go to work?" Fabian asked as he lazily dropped back into the bed.
"I don't, got a day off today," she mumbled with her mouth full of sandwich. "I was planning to go to Diagon Alley to find a present for Alice and Lily. They're both due in a week."
"I can come with you. I have a bit of time before I have to be at work."
"You want to? Go shopping for baby stuff?"
"My sister had six of them, I know my way around a baby store."
And Fabian's guidance had proved to be essential. They had everything there – self-rocking cribs, self-cleaning nappies, bottles that you never have to fill up – and Claudia had absolutely no idea where to start.
"Why is everything either blue or pink?" Claudia grimaced.
"You get used to it. Do you know whether you are shopping for boy or a girl?" He continued but Claudia was no longer paying attention.
"There is a Quidditch section!" she exclaimed and started walking over there so rapidly, she knocked down a tower of baby bottles.
"Did James play Quidditch?"
"Not well," she smirked. "I got twice as many cups than he does."
"You played?"
"I was a chaser and the captain, before it all got a bit political-" she trailed off and picked up a tiny broom. "Toy broom?"
"Might be bit early for that…"
"Fine," Claudia rolled her eyes and started looking elsewhere. They had everything! Soft-toy quaffles, baby grows in the colours of all the Quidditch teams, blankets with the golden snitch on it…
She decided on a Quidditch peek-a-boo book for Alice. Fabian had also forced her to buy a blanket with moonclaves on it, pointing out that Alice and Frank did not even seem to like Quidditch. But there were no such restrictions for James and Lily, as there was a good chance that baby would be Quidditch-obsessed (if James had anything to do with that). Claudia stuffed a baby grow in the colours of James' favourite team into her shopping basket, before adding a mobile to go over the cot with bludgers, quaffles and golden snitches. A simple spell, and they would detach themselves from the mobile and started flying around the room.
"I'm sure this is all going to be very useful to the new parents…" Fabian said, with the corner of his mouth twitching.
"Oh, shut up," Claudia said with a smile, shoved one more set of Quidditch-themed bedding into her basket, and passed another baby grow to Fabian. That kid deserved a Harpies shirt too, even if it would drive James' mad.
Fabian laughed, placed his free hand on the small of Claudia's back, pulled her close to him and kissed her. His fingers lingered on the bare skin between her jeans and t-shirt.
"Fabian, is that you?" a loud voice carried through the store and Fabian jumped away like he was struck by lightning.
Claudia looked up and saw a short, red-headed woman in a dress covered in flowers. She then glanced back at Fabian, who just stood in the middle of the shop completely frozen.
"Are you going to introduce me?" the mystery woman asked.
"Mo-" Fabian cleared his throat. "Molly, this is Claudia." He looked back at Claudia, with his eyes ever so slightly wider than usual. "Claudia, this is my sister Molly."
Claudia raised her free hand in an awkward wave.
"Where- Where is little Ronny?" Fabian asked.
"Arthur is looking after him. And Gideon is there to help with the others-" It was hard to miss the somewhat accusatory tone in this woman's voice. "You should come to dinner on Saturday-" she paused. "Both of you," she added with a broad smile.
"I wouldn't want to impose," Claudia mumbled.
"Nonsense," Molly exclaimed. "Fabian's girlfriend is always welcomed in my house."
Fabian and Claudia looked at each other – they did not know what they were but would certainly not call each other boyfriend and girlfriend. And a family dinner at Fabian's sister sounded a little too much even if they were in a relationship.
"We can talk about it later, Molly…" Fabian said sternly. "I don't want a repeat of last time."
"Oh, I won't interfere, Fabian… I'm sure Claudia is a nice girl, in which case you have nothing to worry about," Molly said with a high-pitched laugh and casually waved her hand as if she was dismissing her brother's fears. "I need to run but it was very nice to meet you."
"You too," Claudia grimaced, hoping it came off as sincere.
"And Fabian." Molly nodded towards the baby grow Fabian was still holding in his hand. "This suits you. Very, very much…" She did not wait for a response and turned on her heel. "I'll see you on Saturday," she shouted over her shoulder.
Claudia glanced at Fabian, whose cheeks were red, and teeth clenched.
"What happened last time? Claudia whispered.
Fabian sighed. "The last girl I brought to meet Molly run off half-way through dinner because Molly wouldn't shut up about marriage. She never spoke to me again."
"You do realise I am not going on Saturday, right?"
"I'll fix it, I promise-" He looked at his watch. "Shit, I need to get to the office." He pulled Claudia in for another kiss. "I'm sorry, I really need to go."
"Claudia reached for his hand and drew him in for another kiss. "Don't be sorry. Just get me out of that dinner."
"I promise." Fabian laughed and kissed her again.
Claudia and Fabian said their goodbyes, she finished her shopping and walked toward the exit of Diagon Alley. As she was almost out, a little jewellery store caught her eye. She instinctively reached towards her neck. She was still wearing the necklace that Sirius gave her for her birthday last year. It was time to find something else to replace it.
She pushed the door to the store open and stumbled in. She looked for a good ten minutes before she spotted a single thing she liked. Everything was too shiny, too polished, too delicate.
"You like that one?" the shop keeper asked and reached into the display cabinet for a rough rhombus-shaped piece of black rock, encased with a thin copper wire. It was hanging on a long, silver chain.
Claudia nodded.
"It's made from a meteorite-"
"I'll take it," she interrupted the shop keeper. She did not care what it was. It was pretty.
She paid and finally set off home. When she got there, she carefully put Sirius' necklace into a pair of socks in her dresser and put on her new buy. Just then, it hit her. Did the shopkeeper said it was made from a meteorite? Meteorites were shooting stars. Claudia gripped her new necklace between her fingers and sighed. So much for moving on… But she did not take it off. She could not.
At that same moment, she noticed a letter on her bed. Judging by the handwriting on the envelope, it was from Lily.
'Dearest Claudia,
Thank you for your letter. And apologies for not handling the whole thing better the other day, I cannot even imagine how hard this is for you. I am sorry for forcing you to dig up feelings you would have rather kept to yourself.
The truth is that your words are the only thing that is bringing me any sort of comfort. You are right, he would walk through a burning building for the people he loves. And he would spoil that baby to death. I am sure about that.'
Claudia had to pause and laugh. She was sure that would happen. Sirius would not be able to enforce any sort of discipline. He could not even keep himself under control. With a smile, she continued to read.
'But the outburst at the meeting. I really do not know what to do.
I probably should not say… But I really wanted you and Sirius to raise this baby together if something happened to me and James. I could not imagine a better home for them. And now I really do not know what to do.
Yours,
Lily'
Claudia sighed. It meant something that Lily would write she wished they were together. After all, Sirius was currently dating her best friend. But there was no point dwelling on it. Sirius and Claudia were not together. And no matter how much Lily wished they were, it was not going to happen.
But for the first time since the breakup, Claudia perhaps felt a little guilt herself. Sirius was trying to apologise earlier, and she just blew him off; run off like she always did when she did not want to hear what was being said. Or was too scared to hear…
Claudia promised herself not to do that again, picked up some parchment and began to scribble.
'Lily,
Talk to him. I know he is not always the easiest person to get through, but he has more sense that he would let anyone believe.
Just talk to him and you will see. Tell him you love him no matter what. Tell him that you want to trust him with the life of your baby. Be honest. I guarantee you will know instantly what the right decision is.
Claudia'