Life and Death
It was very nearly August and on one bright Wednesday morning, Claudia was woken up by an owl tapping on the window of Fabian's bedroom. She thought it was probably Lily, telling her that she talked to Sirius, and that everything was fine, and he was definitely going to the godfather. She threw on his t-shirt and lazily walked over to read the message.
But it was not from Lily, it was from Claudia's other pregnant friend.
"Gone into labour. So far so good. Except for the fact that Frank's mother is here, trying to be helpful. I'm begging you, come here and get rid of her! Now!"
Claudia had to laugh. Labour could not have been too bad if Alice was still making jokes. Unwilling to risk her godmother status, however, she took a quick shower, kissed Fabian goodbye and soon was on her way.
When she got to Alice's house, it turned out that labour was no laughing matter and Alice was actually serious in her desire to get rid of Frank's mother.
"I've heard-" Claudia began and dragged Mrs Longbottom out of the room where Alice was in labour. "I've heard that the best way to help new parents is to load their fridge with food."
"Unhand me," Mrs Longbottom insisted and threw Claudia's grip off with surprising ease. "That is my grandchild being born, and I am not-"
"You are coming with me," Claudia hissed and pushed Mrs Longbottom in the direction of the kitchen. "We are going to cook them some nice stew and leave them alone for a while. You would not want them to starve, would you?"
For about an hour, the strategy worked. Mrs Longbottom bossed Claudia around the kitchen, disapproving of nearly everything the young auror did.
But soon enough, the stew was cooking, and Mrs Longbottom looked at her dainty golden watch. "I better go and check how they are getting on."
"Tea!" Claudia exclaimed, somewhat at her wit's end about what to do. "Let's make Alice some tea."
"Can you manage that?" Mrs Longbottom asked in a manner that could have only been described as patronising.
"I can manage tea."
"We will see."
Claudia turned her back to Mrs Longbottom and walked towards the cupboards where she assumed the mugs and tea to be. "Can you manage that?" she mouthed mockingly. She opened the cupboard and her eyes had immediately landed on a bottle full of sleeping draught. "Would you like a cup too?" she asked.
"Why not."
"Why not indeed," Claudia whispered to herself and discreetly poured a generous helping of sleeping draught into a mug for Mrs Longbottom. She promised Alice she would keep her mother-in-law out of the birthing room, and she was going to keep that promise whatever it took. "Sugar?" she asked loudly.
Within five minutes, Mrs Longbottom was sprawled on the living room sofa, snoring noisily. Claudia was sitting in an armchair opposite, sipping her own tea, and wearing a satisfied smirk.
She finished the stew, read the papers, and at around six o'clock in the evening, she finally heard a loud cry from the room where Alice, Frank and the midwife spent all day. They baby must have arrived.
Tentatively, Claudia knocked and opened the door. Alice was sitting in the bed, holding a bundle closely against her chest.
"Your fridge is full of food," Claudia mumbled. "Your mother-in-law is full of sleeping draught. I'm going to leave you to it and go home."
"Get in here," Alice said with an exhausted smile. "And come and say hi to your godson."
Claudia sat down on the edge of the bed and could finally see what was wrapped in the blanket that Alice held onto with dear life. There was a tiny baby, looking very red and very squished, and fragile.
"Neville, this is your godmother," Alice whispered to her son. "If anyone ever gives you trouble, she's the one to go to for help," she added and looked up at Claudia, her eyes full of love.
"Neville?"
Alice nodded. "After my dad… If you want to hold him, make sure you support his head." She leaned over to Claudia and outstretched her arms.
"Hold him? Are you sure?"
"Of course."
Tentatively, Claudia took little baby Neville out of his mother's arms and brought him closer to her. She could not take her eyes off him. He slowly moved his head and then opened his eyes. Then, he closed them again. Claudia watched him, mesmerised. "This is very weird," she whispered.
"Did you say Frank's mother was full of sleeping draught?"
"It was the only way to keep her out of here…"
"You poisoned her?"
Claudia shrugged and kept staring at baby Neville. "You told me to do whatever it took."
The midwife came back into the room. "Let me put him into his crib." She took Neville from Claudia, who, for a moment, did not feel like she wanted to let go off him. "A Quidditch baby book?" the midwife added bitterly once she noticed what was attached to the side of Neville's crib. "Why am I even surprised… I see this all the time. The fathers always think that if they cover the nursery in Quidditch paraphernalia, the baby will play for England."
"That has nothing to do with me," Frank, who came in with the midwife, chuckled and went to kneel by Neville's crib. "That's his godmother's doing."
"Sorry," Claudia shrugged. She crouched next to Frank and put her finger through the bars to stroke Neville's hand. He gripped it with surprising amount of force. "I have to go little one," she whispered.
"I'll walk you out." Frank said.
Claudia gave Alice a brief hug and then let Frank walk with her to the fireplace, past Mrs Longbottom who was still out cold.
"Thank you for all your help today," Frank mumbled.
"Sorry about your mother," Claudia said with a grimace. "I didn't know what else to do. She's quite relentless."
"Tell me about it."
Claudia laughed. "I'll check in on you tomorrow, make sure you all eat."
With those words, Claudia entered the fireplace. When she got home, she just crashed into bed and instantly fell asleep. When she woke up in the morning, she was trying to find a piece of parchment to send a note to Fabian. But instead, she stumbled upon her two-way notebook that she did not even remember taking with her when she left. It was covered in leaves.
She took a deep breath and opened it, not knowing how long had the new message been in there.
"Lily and James had their baby this morning, a boy called Harry. I thought you ought to know. Oh, and they made me his godfather. He has no idea what they got him into."
Claudia stared at the page. She was glad Lily had listened to her. But she also wondered what all this meant. A message like this after months of nothing but arguments. It sounded almost normal, like none of the awful stuff happened between them. She picked up her quill.
"Alice had her baby last night. And I'm a godmother too."
She waited, not really sure what she thought might happen.
"I presume you're responsible for Harry's Quidditch presents?"
"Did he like them?"
"The only person who played with that mobile was James."
"Well, it does suit his emotional age."
"I haven't slept for twenty-four hours, but you still make me laugh. You should come and visit. Lily says it would be lovely to see you."
"I'll stop by."
"Looking forward to it."
Claudia put the notebook away before she said anything she would regret and hurried to the kitchen to make herself a coffee. She decided to make James and Lily some pasta, partly so that she did not come empty handed, and party because she needed a little bit of time for her hands to stop shaking. When they did, the pasta was finished ,and Claudia was on her way.
"I've brought some pasta," she mumbled and shoved the container into Sirius' hands the moment he opened the door. She did not even say hello.
Sirius grabbed it out of her hands. "You're a lifesaver. James' parents were supposed to help, but they got sick."
Claudia looked around the empty living room, hoping for literally anyone to save her from this awkwardness. "Where is everyone?" she whispered.
"James is trying to get some sleep," Sirius replied. "And Lily is in their bedroom with Harry."
"Harry?"
"Harry James Potter."
"Oh, that Harry." Claudia laughed nervously and darted towards the door to James' and Lily's bedroom. She gave a huge sigh when she left Sirius' field of vision, wondering if this was ever going to get easier.
Slowly, she opened the door and crept in. "Hey," she mumbled.
Lily raised her head and smiled. "It's so good to see you."
Claudia tiptoes towards a Moses basket on the side of Lily's bed. A baby with a full head of black hair was sleeping peacefully inside. "He's got James' hair," she whispered.
"He does."
Claudia stood around awkwardly for few more seconds. "Sirius said you made him godfather."
"He'll be great," Lily whispered. "All thanks to your letter. You were right. We had such a good chat. He would do anything for Harry."
"He would-" Claudia said but stopped mid-sentence when Lily yawned. "Have some rest. You must be knackered."
Lily nodded. "But I can't fall asleep unless James is watching him breathe. He just seems so small. And he didn't have to breathe before."
"I'll watch him," Claudia said and sat down on the floor next to the Moses basket.
"Would you?" Lily mumbled and lowered herself into bed. "Wake me up if anything doesn't look right to you," she added already half asleep.
Claudia sat on the floor watching little Harry breathe, when Sirius opened the door, a couple mugs of tea in his hands. Claudia put her finger across her lips. "Lily's sleeping," she whispered.
"I guess I'll have the second one, then," Sirius replied. "Do you mind?" he added and gestured towards the floor next to Claudia.
"Not at all."
Sirius sat down next to Claudia and sipped the hot tea. "I'm sorry how I reacted at the meeting the other day," he said, avoiding her eye-contact.
Claudia swallowed dry. "It wasn't how I wanted you to find out."
"I want you to be happy. And if Prewett makes you happy, I'm glad."
Claudia looked towards Harry, pondering for a moment what to say. Did Fabian make her happy? Was that what it was? "He makes it easier for me to cope with this bloody war. It's hard having to deal with it alone," she mumbled finally, with her eyes still on Harry. For a good few minutes, they sat in silence and Claudia did not even dare look at Sirius. The tension caused by having him this physically close to her was nearly unbearable.
"It's weird, isn't it?" Sirius was the first one to speak. "Knowing we have this responsibility for these kids, if something was to happen. They are so little… So defenceless…"
"So weird," Claudia said, relieved Sirius moved onto another subject and sipped her tea.
There was another very long pause. Unbearably long pause.
"Why would they make me godfather?" Sirius mumbled. "I've made so many bad decisions..."
Claudia took a deep breath and finally looked at him. "Because your heart is in the right place."
"How can you still say that?" he gasped.
Before Claudia knew what she was doing, she reached for Sirius' hand and squeezed it. "It puts things into perspective, doesn't it?" she whispered. "This fight is stupid… Maybe we should just try to get on." She had no idea how or why these words came out. They just did, and it felt like she was outside of her body watching herself say them.
Sirius smiled. "Be friends?"
"Well, we should at least try."
Right at that moment, baby Harry started to cry. Sirius jumped to his feet and picked him up. "Oh, I see why you're crying, little one." He scrunched his nose. "We can go to daddy, and he'll change your nappy."
Claudia watched Sirius float out of the room and knew that it was time to go home. If she had to watch him carrying around a new-born baby for even five more seconds, her heart would explode. She stood up and Lily stirred.
"Sorry if I woke you," Claudia whispered.
"Are you going?" Lily said sleepily.
"Yeah, I can bring you some more food later, okay?" Claudia began to walk towards the door. But Lily's voice followed her.
"You still love him, don't you?" the new mum whispered.
Claudia froze. "How much did you hear?"
"Enough."
Claudia sighed. "We didn't break up because we stopped loving each other." Lily opened her mouth, but Claudia cut her off. She did not want to hear it. Nothing has changed between her and Sirius. "Have some rest, Lily-"
She took the Floo home and spent the rest of the day in a haze. She could not get Sirius face out of her head. But she had to. He was still with Marlene, and she was with Fabian. It was so easy with her new boyfriend; there was no drama, no big emotions involved (good or bad). She would hate for anything to ruin that.
A few days went by in relative peace. Claudia kept popping in on Alice, bringing her food, and giving her a break from Mrs Longbottom. Occasionally, she went to see Lily and James too, never quite sure whether she wanted Sirius to be there or not. She missed him more than ever now that they managed to have a civilised conversation again. But it was also hard, especially when Marlene was there also.
But about week after Harry was born, something felt different in the Potter's house. James was sitting at the dining table, pieces of parchment spread all around him, and he held his head in his hands.
"What's going on?" Claudia whispered.
"My parents aren't getting better," he sighed. "They have Dragon Pox. They've been taken to St Mungo's but given their age…"
Claudia sat down next to him. "I'm sorry… What do the healers say?"
"Not much over owls. And I can't really go there, as it's so contagious. And with the new baby…" James removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes. "They haven't even met Harry. What if they never do?"
Claudia looked around at the table, thinking she should have gotten better at consoling people who are facing a parental loss – after Mr Adler, Lily's parents, Sirius' father… "And what's all this?"
"My dad's too ill to run the business. His accountant came by, wants me to file some form with Gringotts. I have no idea what he's on about."
"Do you want help figuring it out?"
"Please. Do you know anything about accounting?"
"No, but I have slept in the last three days…" Claudia drew a chair and they started to go through the papers together.
Three hours in, they managed to figure out what the accountant was asking. He wanted an overview of the company's income in both America and the UK, as the company was being checked by the Ministry to make sure no illegal activity was taking place there.
"I think that's all," Claudia said and turned to James, who was now resting his head on the pile of parchments they managed to assemble. But his glasses were all crocked and his eyes were shut. She put her hand gently on his back. "James," she whispered.
He jerked awake. "What happened?"
"I'm done with all the American papers. Can tackle the British ones tomorrow…"
"Thank you," he sighed. "Do you want to stay for dinner? Sirius and Mar-" he stopped. "Sorry. I don't know why I said that. I forgot… I'm so tired…"
"I better get home then. I'll come back tomorrow to tackle the rest of it," she said, gesturing at the papers.
"I hate this."
"It's going to be alright."
"I miss you."
Claudia put her hand on his shoulder again and squeezed it. "Look, we managed to be in the same room for whole ten minutes last week. It's going to get better, I promise."
"Then stay…"
"Have dinner with Marlene? Unlikely…"
James sighed. "I get that. I'm sorry."
"Tell Lily I said hi. I don't want to wake her up."
Claudia opened the front door, just as Sirius and Marlene were materialising there. They awkwardly passed each other on the porch and Claudia went home.
Few days later, she got the news. James' parents had died. She was in the office and could not get to his house immediately, so she picked up a quill to send him a note. She offered to organise the wake, anything to be helpful.
She fought an urge to write to Sirius also. He must have been taking it hard. The Potters gave him a sense of what it was like to have a home. She planned to stop by their house after work, but before she managed to leave, she got a response back.
"Thank you, Claudia. Please do come by when you can, but don't worry about the wake. Lily and friends have it under control."
Claudia scrunched the note and threw it into the bin. She could just imagine what 'friends' were helping Lily with the wake, as Lily only had one friend since Mary run off to the States, and it very much felt like that friend was stealing Claudia's life.
The funeral was taking place in Winchester. Claudia got to the old Potter's house with only few minutes to spare.
Claudia gave James a long hug before noticing Lily, who was standing in the living room. Her eyes red and puffy, and some random Order member was holding Harry who was screaming his head off.
"He just won't calm down," Lily sniffed. "I can't miss the funeral, and he screams every time anyone else comes near him. And I can't take him with me, or…" she trailed off into a wave of sobs.
Claudia walked over to Lily and took her scarf. She then wrapped it around herself and rescued Harry from the embrace of his tormenter. Instantly, the baby dropped his head on Lily scarf and stopped crying.
"Brilliant," Lily whispered and wiped her eyes. "Just brilliant."
"I'll stay," Claudia replied and hugged Harry tighter in her arms. "You go to the funeral, and I'll look after him."
"Are you sure?"
"I'm sure."
"There is some milk in the fridge if you need it. And he should fall asleep in like twenty minutes. And there is his blanket-"
"Lily," Claudia said patiently. "You'll be back in like an hour. Harry and I are going to be fine. Go."
Lily planted a quick kiss on her son's head, and without looking back run out of the door. James followed her, his shoulders unusually slumped.
Claudia walked around with Harry for a while, but his eyes were wide open, and he showed little interest in closing them and going to sleep. So, she settled herself on the sofa, picked up a tattered copy of The Tales of Beedle the Bard, and began reading the first story, the one about the hopping pot. Claudia's parents did not much read to her when she was growing up, but she remembered this story because it was a bit weird. Her overriding memory was that a hopping pot protected an innocent wizard from an angry horde of muggles.
But as she read the story to little Harry, she became more and more unsure whether she remembered it right. The story seemed to be about an abnoxious wizard and the muggles were coming out of it quite well… No surprise her parents did not tell it that way.
Claudia read in a low, quiet tone, and soon Harry's eyelids began to flutter and eventually he fell asleep, his head resting right in the middle of Claudia's chest. She sat on the sofa, petrified to move and wake him up. She passed the time by watching Harry sleep, and in just over an hour, everybody started to come back.
Lily was the first through the door, looking panicked. But she broke into a huge smile when she saw Harry was happy and asleep. She rushed towards Claudia and extended her arms towards her son to pick him up.
"Why don't you go get something to eat and drink," Claudia whispered. "We're happy here."
"Are you sure?"
"I'm sure."
Lily disappeared as quickly as she came, and Claudia got a chance to survey the room. James was standing in the corner by himself, staring into space. She had never seen him this disengaged from life. She was hoping to catch a glimpse of Sirius too. James' parents were the closest thing he had to parents himself, and Claudia would be prepared to bet a lot of money that he was not handling this at all well.
But she did not get to people watch for long, as Harry woke up and started to squirm in Claudia's arms. She got up and crossed the room to where Lily was standing. Remus, Peter and Marlene were all there with her. They chatted, but everyone felt silent the moment Claudia joined the group.
Lily took Harry into her arms. "Can someone get me the milk from the kitchen?"
"I'll do it," Marlene jumped in before Claudia could volunteer. "Sirius is hiding somewhere anyway. Maybe he's there."
"Do you want me to look for him too?" Peter asked.
"Leave him be," Marlene said. "I'm sure he's in the kitchen. And if not, he'll stop sulking and emerge eventually.
Claudia bit her lip. How could Marlene say this? Did she not know how important James' parents were to Sirius? Once Marlene left, Claudia whispered to Lily. "Trouble in paradise?"
"I really shouldn't…" Lily whispered.
But Peter was not quite so restrained. "This is all your fault. Marlene said-"
"Peter," Lily hissed. "Not the time…"
"Excuse me," Claudia mumbled and left them… It suddenly occurred to her that she knew exactly where Sirius was.
Peter's faint voice followed her. "I don't see why she shouldn't know. Marlene wants her crap out of Sirius' flat… She said she can't even step foot in there."
"It's none of our business, Peter. It's Sirius' decision…" Lily reprimanded him.
With a little spring in her step and a hint of a smile, Claudia went down the corridor and slowly opened the door to what used to be Sirius' room. Sirius was sitting on the bed, with his back to her. His shoulders were shaking with silent sobs.
Claudia walked around the bed and sat down next to him. Painfully aware that this was the same bed when they made love for the first time. Where she first told him she loved him.
"I didn't want anyone to see me," he sniffled.
"It's a funeral, it's ok to cry."
"But they were not my parents, were they?" Sirius tried to wipe his eyes but to no avail. "I can't be there sobbing while James is trying to hold it together."
Claudia put her arm around his back and rested her chin on his shoulder. It was sort of a hug, but one that still kept good few inches between them. "It's still ok to be sad, to grieve for them."
"I wish it was that simple." Sirius looked at her and sighed. "Oh, what the hell… If anyone is going to understand, it's you." He rubbed his palms for a moment, before resuming in a low whisper. "I look at James, grieving, and all I can think of is that," he paused and took in a deep breath. "That this is what it's supposed to feel like when your parents die."
"This isn't about the Potters, is it?"
"Partially it is. I can't stop thinking about how good they were to me. Mr Potter showing me how to manage my Gringotts account. Mrs Potter stuffing me to death with crumble."
"Crumble?"
"She made the best crumble I've ever eaten…" Sirius trailed off.
"And what about the other part?" Claudia whispered. "If it's only partially about them."
"Do you know what I felt when my father died?" Sirius sighed and dropped backwards into the bed. "Nothing."
Claudia lowered herself next to him and propped herself up on her elbow. His handsome face was all red and blotchy. But it was still hard not to just brush it with the tips of her fingers, like she did a million times before.
"I mean I felt nothing. And I don't mean like when I said I didn't care that Regulus died." Sirius attempted a chuckle. "I genuinely mean it. I felt nothing. And all these people were expecting me to grieve and be sad…"
"I know exactly what you mean." Claudia could not bear keeping her distance from him any longer and squeezed his shoulder. "I'd trade my parents' lives for literally anyone – Lily's parents, James' parents, Alice's dad… Even Regulus."
"And Tony…" Sirius put his hands over his face.
Claudia laid down next to him and brushed his hair with her fingers. "What about Tony?" she whispered, in the hope he would finally say. That the thing that had been standing between them for months would finally fall down. "I know you weren't ready to talk then, but if you are now…" she said hopefully.
"I should go and help James out," Sirius whispered, avoiding her eye contact, but did not move an inch. They stayed like that in silence for a good while.
Claudia's mind was swirling with the things she wanted to tell him. That it was good for him to grieve. That he could talk to her if he wanted. That she would always be there for him. But this moment was so precious to her, she did not want to ruin it. So, she just lied there, watching Sirius stare into the ceiling, and fighting the urge to sink her fingers into his hair again.
"Claude…" he whispered, his eyes still planted on the ceiling.
"Yeah?"
"I'm so sorry. I didn't handle it at all well. If I could turn back the clock-"
Claudia took a deep breath. "I don't need you to be sorry. I need you to tell me the truth about what happened."
Before Sirius could say anything, the dook creaked and Sirius shot up and turned. Claudia sat up too to see Marlene standing in the doorway.
"Everyone is looking for you," Marlene said icily.
"I- I- I don't-" Sirius stuttered for a split second, which made Marlene frown and she slammed the door shut.
"Go," Claudia nudged him. "If you want, we can talk later."
Sirius stood up, stared at her with his mouth open for a moment. "Thank you." And followed his girlfriend out of the room.
Claudia dropped back into the bed. She brushed the bedspread with her fingers and could not help but smile a little. That felt like a glimpse of the olden days, when Sirius sought her advice, and they comforted each other… The days when they were the only people who really understood. And to think it was to happen in this room of all places.
It took Claudia good ten minutes to recover and make her way back to the sitting room. Most of the guests were now gone, and it was just Lily, James, Remus and Peter, playing with little Harry. They were casting patronuses and he was trying to reach for them. Sirius and Marlene were still talking somewhere. Claudia's body recoiled at the thought that someone other than her would be trying to console him right now.
"Did you find him?" Remus whispered when Claudia slumped on the sofa next to him.
"Found who?"
"I'm not an idiot. I know you went to look for Sirius."
"He's alright. Just talking to Marlene…" Claudia sighed.
"Claudia-" Remus paused and looked around the room. "Promise me you aren't going to do anything stupid. You've just managed to-"
"Stop it!" Claudia hissed. "None of you understand the pain he's in. Least of all Marlene."
"You just going to get your heart bro-"
"I've got a question," Claudia said loudly over Remus and stood up. "I was reading Hoping Pot to Harry earlier and it's different than I remember." She walked over and sat in a different chair, far away from Remus' nagging. "I thought the wizard was the good one, and the muggles were persecuting him."
"That's the pureblood version of the story." Claudia heard Sirius' voice from behind her and turned. "Same one I grew up with… Didn't you know it wasn't the real one?"
"Not until I was reading to Harry earlier!"
Sirius gave Claudia a faint smile. "What's going on here?" he asked and looked around the room. She was finding it very hard to peel her eyes of him.
"Harry loves looking at our patronuses," Lily explained. "And we all need a little bit of positive energy."
"Who's next?" James asked in a hoarse voice. It was the first time Claudia heard him speak today. "Let's give Harry something new to look at".
Claudia took out her wand from her sleeve. She closed her eyes and pictured the moment when her and Sirius were talking earlier. She remembered the texture of his hair. The smell of his cologne. "Expecto patronum," she said, and a small fox shot out from the end the wand. She had to smile to herself. It was not imagined happiness she felt in that room, it was real.
The silvery fox slunk across the room and Harry, who was in Lily's arms perched up to see everyone, stared at it intently. Once the fox was near him, he made some uncoordinated movements to try and reach it.
"I think he likes it." Claudia said.
"I think his hand stretched further when he was playing with the stag," James mumbled and came to sit down next to his wife.
Claudia had to supress a laugh. She wanted to tell him to never change. To never stop being this stupidly competitive over every single thing. But it was his parents' funeral, and her heart was breaking for him. So, she reached for his shoulder and squeezed it. "Of course, he does, he knows his dad will always protect him."
Those words brought tears into James' eyes.
"Who's the fox patronus?" Marlene's voice carried through the room.
That startled Claudia, making her break the connection, and the silvery fox vanished into thin air. She saw that Marlene shot Sirius an unmistakeably annoyed look, and he absentmindedly pulled down his shirt sleeve, covering his fox tattoo.
"I think I'm going to get going," Marlene mumbled to deafening silence. But she did not move.
"Do you want me to come with you?" Peter whispered. "None of us should be walking around alone."
But Marlene did not respond. She kept boring her eyes into Sirius, who (after the longest thirty seconds Claudia ever experienced) sighed and got up. "I'll come with you," he mumbled.
Marlene said nothing.
They both said the briefest of goodbyes to James and Lily and walked towards the door. Claudia watched Sirius leave, biting her lip. She did not want him to go, certainly not with Marlene. He shot her one last look before he closed the door. She was probably imagining the look in his eyes, but she was sure he did not want to go either.
When the front door shut behind them, everyone looked at Claudia.
"Why are you all looking at me?" she asked, when no one showed the slightest indication they were going to speak. But they all stayed silent. There was no need for them to say, she knew why they were all looking at her.
Claudia sighed and began to explain. "Sirius and I were talking, and it may have looked worse than it was-"
"Of course it's your fault," Peter said grumpily and folded his arms across his chest.
"You were talking? Genuinely talking?" Lily whispered with a hint of a smile, taking no notice of Peter's grumbling. "At least something good came from this awful day.