Defining Family
Disclaimer: I do not own GS/ GSD or any of the characters
Warning: This is a Athrun x Kira fic. If you don't like this then you should not read this story.
Note: I have read a lot of stories that have Athrun leaving Cagalli, Kira hates Athrun because of this. Generally Athrun is made out to be a jerk and Cagalli is always the innocent victim. Kind of get tired of that almost always being the case. So I decided to write a story were it was the opposite.
Athrun bent down and started to pick up the items scattered across the room. Books that had been pushed off the bookcase were laying every which way. Wooden blocks had found their way to the other side of the room. Little pieces of furniture had been upturned. There were teddy bears, dolls, cars, and toys that made noise in every area of the room. With one glance a person might think a cyclone had hit the room, when in fact it was a four- year old little girl. One by the name of Brea, to be exact.
Brea Zala, Athrun's little bundle of joy. At least she had been before she learned to make messes like this. She is now a bundle of energy that is unmatched by the most powerful weapon, or so Athrun is convinced. Even when her energy ran down it does not take her much time to recharge. Athrun often wonders were it all comes from. He sometimes has a hard time keeping up with her.
Athrun finished picking up the room and went over to the bed where his daughter lay sound asleep for the night. He knelt down on the floor in front of her and brushed her dark hair away from her face. Her eyelids flutter a little but she does not wake up. In her sleep a small smile appears on her face. Athrun loves to look at her while she sleeps, she looks so angelic and peaceful. It is hard to imagine that she is the same little girl that caused the mess he just picked up. This is a nightly routine for him.
He gets her to sleep, picks up the room, looks at her sleeping face, and then kisses her forehead goodnight.
Athrun can see both himself and Cagalli in Brea. She has his hair and eyes, but her facial features are that of her mother's. Now that she is four Athrun can tell that she also has her mother's 'outgoing' personality. Not that that is a bad thing. Unlike her mother, Brea likes to wear dresses and ribbons in her hair. Athrun had to take lessons from Lacus on how to fix little girls hair up in pig tails, pony tails, and braids. He has actually gotten quite good at it.
There is a good reason Athrun had to learn things like how to fix his daughter's hair. It is because her mother is not here to do it for her. Cagalli is gone. Three years ago she left them. She left everything. Her soon to be husband, her one year old daughter, her brother, and her people. She left a note saying she was tired of everything and she needed to get away. So she left and she hasn't come back.
A look at the past
Cagalli had not been that happy when she found out she was pregnant. She was busy running a country and barely had time for Athrun how would she have time for a baby. Her and Athrun were not married and had not talked about getting married until after they found out they were going to be parents. Cagalli wanted to wait until after the baby was born to plan the wedding. Their relationship up to that point had not been the best, but on a good day they shared their first time together and she conceived.
Things were okay between them when she was pregnant. She worked less so they had more time together. After Brea was born she stayed home with her for the first six months and then gradually started working again, leaving Brea with her old nanny, Mana. During this time they started planning their wedding at Athrun's insistence. Then Cagalli started working full time, no big deal, mothers do that all the time. As long as she was happy then Athrun was happy. And she was happy, or so he thought.
Then that day came. Athrun had been out taking Brea to a play date across town when he saw her with another man. She was sitting in a car and laughing so happily. Athrun was going to dismiss it as being a business associate that she had a lunch meeting with. It was a little hard for him to do that after he saw the man lean over and kiss her. It was not a small kiss on the cheek or something like that, it was a passionate kiss. And she had not stopped the man, she kissed him back. Athrun felt his heart stop at that moment.
When she got home that night he approached her about it. She did not deny it. She said she had feelings for that man, but she would end things with him. She said she did not want to lose Athrun and Brea. She said that they were her life. She asked Athrun to forgive her, so he did. It was about two weeks later that she disappeared. She said she was tired of everything and that was why she was leaving, but Athrun guesses she chose her other love over all of them.
Athrun had been deeply hurt when she left. He loved her. He missed her. But those feelings passed. He had to be strong, even though she had left him he still had Brea. He had to be strong for her. He would not abandon her the way her mother did. He would learn to take care of her. He would be there for her. He would raise her to be a good, kind, and caring individual.
Athrun and Brea moved out of Cagalli's mansion a couple of weeks after she had left. Kira and Lacus had asked him to move in with them, but he had declined the offer. He wanted a house of their own for his family, even if his family only consisted of two people. Lacus was a great help to him though. She taught him many things about little girls. She continued to provide him help until she moved back to the Plants one year after Cagalli had left..
Then there was Kira. When Cagalli was still there, Athrun and Kira did not see each other that much. They would get together about once a month, but other than that they were both pretty busy. They both had full time jobs that kept them busy plus their girlfriends. Things changed after Cagalli left. Athrun found a job that paid just as good as the other one, but the hours were better. That way he had more time with Brea. It also guaranteed he could be there every evening and be there to put her to bed. Soon after Kira found a better job as well.
Athrun had always thought if things did not work out between Cagalli and him then it would effect his friendship with Kira. After all she is Kira sister. He thought Kira would come to hate him. After Cagalli left he thought Kira would be mad at him, somehow blaming him for his sister leaving. Maybe saying that she would still be here if Athrun had been able to make and keep her happy. Kira never did that. Quite the opposite, he had gotten mad at Cagalli for hurting Athrun the way that she had. Three years later and Kira still gets mad when her name is mentioned.
Back to the present
Athrun kisses his daughter's forehead goodnight then he turns off the light in the room, making sure the night light is on, and pulls the door partly closed. He always leaves it open a little for when she gets scared and needs to come to him. It also make it easier to hear her if she wakes up crying in the middle of the night, which she sometimes does.
He walks into the kitchen to pour himself a cup of coffee. Kira is sitting at the table reading over the newspaper from this morning. Kira has been coming over almost every night lately. Athrun does not mind though, Brea adores Kira. She will play with him until it is time for her bed time routine. After she is all ready for bed she will curl up in one of their laps for her bedtime story.
"Anything interesting in there?" Athrun asks Kira as he stands at the counter drinking his coffee.
"No, not really. I just did not feel like watching television." Kira tells him then folds the paper back up and puts it down. Kira stands up and goes over to refill his coffee cup. After he is satisfied that it is just the way he likes it he leaves the kitchen relocating to the couch in the living room. Athrun follows and takes a seat on the couch down from Kira.
The two sit in silence drinking their coffee and enjoying the quiet that is not present during the day when Brea is awake.
"She is not coming back, you know." Kira says, breaking the silence. Athrun looks up at Kira stunned as to why Kira has said that. Kira is looking at Athrun with a trace of sadness on his face.
"Why did you say that?" Athrun asks wanting to hear Kira's reasons for this statement.
"It's been three years, she is not coming back. I just thought you should know that." Kira tells him.
"I already know that. I have known that for a while. I'm not waiting for her to come back. Even if she does, I won't take her back. My love for her died a long time ago. I could maybe forgive her for leaving me like that, but I can't forgive her for leaving Brea. If she were to come back and try to take her from me, I would fight her. I would fight her with everything I have. She didn't want her before and she doesn't deserve her now." Athrun tells him, looking down at his coffee cup as he watches the contents swirling around.
Kira is speechless. He had no idea Athrun felt that way. He thought that Athrun held onto the hope that she would come back and then they could continue were they left of. He glances over at Athrun trying to determine what he should say next.
"If hearing that upsets you because she is your sister, then I'm sorry. But that is the way I feel and I will not take it back or change my mind." Athrun tells him thinking he has upset his friend.
"It doesn't upset me. Maybe it should since she is my sister, but it doesn't. I'm glad to know that Brea means that much to you. Although, I guess I've always known. Sometimes I get scared for you though." Kira states. "I get scared that she will come back for Brea. I know as well as you do that she left you for another man, but what if she decides she wants Brea now? I also feel she does not deserve her now, so it's good to know you would fight for her."
"Of course I would. Brea is my everything. I won't let her go so easily. She was only one when Cagalli left. If Cagalli were to come back now, she would not even know who she is. I guess it is sad that she would not recognize her own mother, but that is to be expected. "
"Yes, well it is her fault. She is the one who left her. I thought that maybe you were waiting for her to return. It has been all this time and you have not dated even once." Kira say, concerned. He had to wonder if what Athrun had told him about not taking her back was the truth. Was it really true he no longer loved her?
"No, I promise you I am not waiting for her. I just haven't wanted to date yet. I don't want to have my heart broken again. I decided before I date anyone else, I will be friends with that person for a while first. Before I make some kind of commitment I want to know that person really well. Cagalli and I rushed into our relationship, we did not know each other that well first. Look what that got me. I don't regret that we were together, because now I have a beautiful little girl that I would not trade for anything." Athrun tells Kira.
"If I were to find someone new I would have to make sure it was someone that accepted Brea and Brea accepted. I won't choose someone who will not be good to or for my daughter." Athrun continues.
"Brea comes first. That's the way it should be." Kira says, smiling softly. Kira loves how good of a father Athrun is. He loves how Athrun places Brea above everything else. Truth be told he loves Athrun. He didn't realize it at first, but after spending more time with Athrun and Brea he became aware of it. Athrun is so gentle, kind, loving, and protective of her. He saw those things so many times that eventually he fell in love with Athrun. That is the real reason for the questions.
"Yeah, she comes first. The thing is, I haven't even been looking for anyone. I am happy right now. I have Brea. And the two of us are not alone, we have you. You are like family to us. No, you are family." Athrun tells Kira.
Kira isn't sure he likes that though. What kind of family does Athrun see him as being? A brother and an uncle? Kira doesn't want that. He hesitates to ask about it, afraid of the answer. He has to know though, he has to know how Athrun feels. If there could be a chance for them.
"I want to know what you mean by family. How is it exactly you see me?" Kira asks.
Athrun looks over at him not really understanding the question. Kira is not making much sense to him.
"What do you mean? Family is family. Isn't it good enough to say that?"
"No, not for me. There are different members in a family, like fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncle, and spouses or lovers. So which one am I." Kira asks, becoming even more terrified the longer the conversation goes on.
"I don't know how to answer that. Obviously you are not some of those you named. But I am not sure which one you are. We have always been close, yet I don't see you as a brother. Something closer than that. I don't know what that means." Athrun answers him as truthfully as he can.
"I know I am an uncle, there is no denying that. But I don't want you to see me as a brother. I can't see you that way. Maybe there was a time I could, but that time has passed." Kira says.
Athrun looks at him clearly hurt by Kira's words. What did he mean by that?
"I can't because I love you. I am in love with you." Kira says quietly. Kira is very afraid now, he has just confessed. He is afraid that Athrun will reject him.
Athrun looks away. He sit there quietly not knowing what to say. His best friend has just confessed that he is in love with him. How does that make him feel? He does love Kira, that much he can not deny, but does he love Kira the same way Kira loves him?
Kira is nervous, he can not just sit here and do nothing at all while Athrun thinks about what he has just said. Kira gets up and grabs their coffee cups, he will refill them. It will not be a problem because he know hows Athrun likes his coffee.
Athrun looks up as Kira heads into the kitchen. He knows he needs to give Kira's confession an answer, he just is not sure what that answer is. Kira returns with Athrun's coffee cup and places it down on the table in front of him.
"Kira. I...I need some time to think about this. To figure out what I feel. This is not a rejection. It is a request for time." Athrun says the only think he can think of.
Kira smiles at him warmly and nods his head.
"I'm going to go home now. I'll see you tomorrow?" Kira asks as he walks towards the door. Athrun nods in response to the question and wishes Kira a good night.
Athrun is having a hard time finding sleep. His mind is to full of questions concerning what Kira had told him. Athrun is beginning to understand that until he figures this out he is not going to be able to sleep, at least not tonight.
Athrun's thought:
Kira has always been very important to me. His friendship is something that I have always cherished. The times we were away from each other were hard for me. I missed him so much and I thought a lot about him. Always wondering if he was alright, where he was, was he happy, and when would I get to see him again. When we fought against each other it caused me so much pain. I was very happy to be reunited with him again. I was happy to have him by my side again...and the thought of losing...him saddens me more than the thought of losing anyone else, except Brea.
Athrun is beginning to see that besides his daughter, Kira is the one person he does not want to be without. It has always been that way. Even when Cagalli left him, he knew he would be alright without her. Sure it had hurt, but he would heal. If Kira were to leave would he be alright? No, he would not. He would break, he would be incomplete. Kira completes him, he makes him feel whole. He has not been looking for another because the only ones he needs are already with him.
Athrun cooks breakfast as Brea sits at the table singing a song as she waits for her dad to finish cooking.
"You are sunshine..., happy..., love you...sunshine away." Brea sings, humming the parts she does not know.
"Who is your sunshine?" Athrun asks his daughter.
Brea giggles, "You are daddy."
"I am? It makes me so happy to know that I, of all people, am your sunshine." he says as he bends down to give her a kiss on the head.
"Daddy will always be sunshine." She says giggling some more.
"And Brea will always be daddy's sunshine." he tells her, smiling.
Athrun drops Brea off at her preschool and heads to work. It is going to be a long day, mainly because he wants it to hurry up and be over with so he can talk to Kira. He had almost called Kira the night before but had stopped himself. It was the middle of the night and Kira would have most likely been asleep. Also he had not wanted to talk to him over the phone, but face to face.
"Daddy!" Brea yells as she runs and hugs her father.
"I'm happy to see you too. Did you have fun today?" Athrun asks, picking her up.
"Yep, we painted, and played outside. Teacher told us a story about bears and we had cookies for snacks." She tells him, excited.
"Wow! You did a lot today, more than daddy. You had more fun than daddy did too. Can I come to preschool instead of work?"
Brea giggles, "Daddy you're silly. You are too big for preschool and you have to go to work."
Athrun pretend pouts, "Work is not fun."
"Sorry daddy. You can nave fun with me." Brea says trying to cheer up her sad father.
"Alright, that's even better than going to preschool." He says, smiling.
As they drive home Brea tells him more about her day. This is another daily routine of their's. Athrun likes to know what she is doing and what she is learning. He likes to hear her tell stories about what she did. He really likes it when she tries to retell the story she was told that day. She forgets part of it and starts making up parts to cover the parts she forgot. He thinks it is cute.
Athrun and Kira are sitting on the couch again. Brea had played with Kira for awhile while Athrun cooked them some dinner. She told Kira about her day at school after dinner, then it was time for bed. After Athrun had finished his nightly routine, he came in and sat down.
Kira is watching television, Athrun reaches over and turns it off. Kira looks at him, but does not say anything.
"I thought about what you told me last night." Athrun tells Kira.
Kira tenses up afraid that the rejection is coming.
"The truth is, the more I thought about things, the more I realized that I love you too. Maybe I always have." Athrun says.
"Athrun there are different types of love. There is the love a person feels for a friend or a relative, and then there is being in love with someone. That special kind of love that you feel for a lover. What type of love do you feel for me." Kira needs to be sure their feelings are mutual.
Athrun looks into Kira eyes for a minute. He then leans over and captures Kira's lips in a gentle kiss. It is not a deep kiss, he does not want to upset him or anything, he just wants to get his feelings across.
He keeps the kiss short and sweet, then he pulls back.
"Does that tell you what you want to know?" he asks and smiles warmly at Kira.
Kira is stunned not expecting the kiss. He may not have been expecting it but he is happy about it.
Kira looks up at Athrun and returns the smile.
"No, I think you need to tell me again. Maybe you should try a longer, more detail explanation." Kira says, smiling slyly.
Athrun smirks a little knowing what Kira is up to and reaches over pulling him into a longer, deeper kiss. The kiss last until their need for air overwhelms them. Athrun moves over next to Kira and puts his arm around him. Kira leans in onto Athrun.
"Kira, yesterday you asked me how I saw you in this family. Now I want to answer, I see you as a lover. I want to only see you as that from now on, you and no one else. I now feel our family is complete. You and Brea are all I need and all I will ever need. I love you Kira."Athrun says.
"I love you too Athrun. This family is all I need too." Kira says as he snuggles in closer to his new boyfriend. He is glad he took the time to define family.
The end
I hope it wasn't to bad. Writing in present tense is not easy to do, hope I did not screw it up too much. Anyway please review and let me know what you think.