Sorry for the long delay. A medical emergency interrupted my life and I am posting this from hospital]

Chapter 35.

When everyone had eaten, Dean decided the time had come and said to Sam and Eileen, "Can I talk to you two?"

"Of course." said Sam.

"Anytime." said Eileen.

Dean took them both to the map table and laid out the documents concerning the college fund. "With all that's been happening, I didn't get a chance to tell you about this, but I want you to know about it. There's a lot of detail that will mean more to you than it does to me, but short version, whatever your kid decides to do, this gives them options. It's a college fund."

Eileen was already reading it. She gave him a warm smile.

"You two can pay into it too, if you want, but whatever happens, I will keep throwing money into it. I can't take anything out, but you two can, if you need to. Just wanted to be sure I wouldn't end up using it for ammo or something."

"Dean ... " Sam began.

"I want both of you and the kid to know, I'm not Dad. I will never try to crush any dreams and ambitions. Whatever the kid chooses, I will back them all the way."

Sam nodded. "Yeah, I get that."

"I didn't support you enough, Sam."

"I wasn't exactly a great brother either." said Sam, "It's so good of you to do this."

"Anael did well keeping the secret. I had to explain it to her. She thought I was writing a will or something. She would have called you if I hadn't explained, but once I told her that I needed to explain it to both of you face to face, she was all in."

"Yeah, you and Anael ... " said Sam.

"Just friends." said Dean, "But now, I think, good ones. But that's what matters, right? That's what we want, harmony. There will be no further disruption caused by Anael and me."

Sam shook his head. "Is that really what you think we want? Love sometimes causes disruption, but that doesn't make it a bad thing."

"It's not love, Sam. Never was." said Dean quickly.

"Okay, sorry. I'm not trying to define your relationship for you. We just want you to know that whatever feelings you and Anael have for each other, you don't have to hide or repress them to avoid inconvenience for the rest of us."

"You know that we love you." said Eileen, "More than that, we need you. We follow you. We believe in you."

"Given my history of bad decisions, following me may not be a good idea."

"Like I said, we believe in you, even when you don't believe in yourself. We know the things you've given up for all of us. We want you to know that you don't have to do that anymore. You've given enough, Dean. It's time to go for what you want and whatever that is, we'll back you all the way."

"Thanks." he said, not sure how he felt about that.

"I have Eileen," said Sam, "Cas has Jules, Charlie has Lydia. It feels like your turn and we can't really enjoy our happiness if we know that you're denying yourself any happiness at all." He looked into Dean's eyes and said, "Almost like you think your misery is the price that has to be paid."

"That would be a pretty dumb thing to think, wouldn't it?" said Dean.

"Especially as I wouldn't want to be happy if that were the price." said Sam.

Dean nodded to Eileen and said, "I think Eileen is worth any price."

"I'm not worth more sacrifices from you." said Eileen.

"All I ever wanted was for Sam to have what he has now." said Dean.

"I know." said Sam, "Ever think I might want the same for you?"

"Ever think maybe I don't need that much to be happy?" said Dean, "my expectations of life are pretty low. I get to be an uncle and I'm gonna be great at that. Jack has Heaven under control, Rowena has a firm hold on Hell and Earth is less hostile to us than it has ever been, without being so harmless that hunters are obsolete. Hell, give me a good whisky and a chance to hustle pool and I'm golden."

"That's not exactly a good example to the kid, is it? Keep expectations low." said Sam.

"Just for me, not for the kid. I'm just being realistic."

"Bad time to start that now, just when we can afford to be optimistic." said Sam.

"You told me I could have anything I wanted, Dean." Eileen reminded him, "You made sure Sam and I got what we wanted. We want to help you get everything you want … "

"What you want is everything I want." said Dean.

"Good!" said Sam, "We want you happy and loved and living the life you dreamed of when you still let yourself dream."

"I'm not sure I remember that far back." said Dean, I am sure that I don't want to be involved with anyone dumb enough to love me."

"I love you." said Sam.

"You've been hit on the head a lot."

"We're not giving up on you." said Eileen.

"I know you're not." said Dean, "Winchesters are stubborn, always have been and you're a true Winchester."

"She is, isn't she?" said Sam proudly, "Just imagine what our kid'll be like."

That felt like safer ground. On the kid, they were all agreed. "That baby is the best thing to happen to this family in a generation." he said, "But don't worry, I'm not expecting anything about the kid to be easy. Defiance and rebellion are encoded in the DNA. I never heard of a Winchester who wasn't trouble." He grinned at them. "I don't think I'd want to. I kinda like who we are."

"Me too," said Sam, "And I want our little Huntling to be proud of who they are too. I need you to help us with that. Teach our kid not to put him or herself down, not to limit dreams and expectations, not to feel unworthy, just because the world has been unfair."

"I'll do what I can."

"You teach best by example."

"I'm not an example anyone should follow." said Dean.

"You have time." said Eileen, "The baby isn't here yet."

"Is this a kind way of telling me to get my life in order?" he said.

"I know the baby will love you. I know you'll be a big influence on their life and I'm happy about that, because if there is one person we want our baby to take after, it's you." Eileen smiled at him and said, "I'd love you to teach them how to be happy, not that happiness doesn't apply to Winchesters."