Marissa looks at her watch and realizes she's got some time to spare until she has to meet Josh for breakfast.
She puts her hands in her pockets and walks down a street in New York City. After 18 years in Newport Beach, she decided to start over and she picked New York; all the way in the east coast, away from the heat, from her family, from her past…away from him. The only man she ever loved.
She could still remember the look on his face the night she told them she would be moving away…for good. His look will forever be etched in her mind and she will never be able to forgive herself for it.
"I'm going away." She had said. And almost instantly, Ryan's face dropped and he looked at her like he was expecting for her to finish with something of better news.
But she didn't.
She told them that she'd be taking a job in New York for Ralph Lauren. Her friend's mom has offered her a job and it's her dream to work for fashion, so why not take it? But it would mean that she would be moving away.
Marissa didn't think of this as a catastrophe. She figured that she's made enough damage to herself and everybody else in Newport that it would a blessing for her family and Ryan.
The last time they talked was right after college, almost 2 years ago. Ryan had said he was going to start his own business but he didn't know where yet. Since then, they haven't spoken and whenever she and Summer talked, Summer would always avoid talking about Ryan.
Maybe he's move on, Marissa figured. He's probably engaged to someone and Summer just doesn't wanna tell me. Like Marissa doesn't wanna tell her about Josh. Her fiancée.
She met him through work and since then, they've been together. He's asked her to marry him a few months before, and Marissa didn't exactly say yes. From what she remembered, he just slipped the ring on her finger and kissed her passionately. And ironically enough, the only thing she could think about that night was Ryan. When he put the ring on her finger, Ryan's face came to mind and since then, she's been contemplating on whether or not she should call him.
She knows she shouldn't have kept the engagement going, but why shouldn't she want to marry Josh? He was successful, smart, good looking and he loved her. So what's the problem right?
Ryan.
As much as she hates to admit it to herself, she still loves him. More than anything, and it kills her that she's the reason they're not together. She's almost thankful that they've lost contact over the years because she knows that seeing him again, or even hearing his voice on the phone, would make it harder for both of them.
It's not that Marissa doesn't love Josh. Because she does.
She really does.
It's just that she knows that Josh doesn't make her heart go kathump like Ryan used to. And when she thinks about it, her heart still goes kathump whenever Ryan comes to mind.
Marissa turns the corner and sees the small coffee shop. She pulls her purse farther up her shoulder and decides she'll have a cup of coffee before meeting Josh.
Just as she was about to take another step, a familiar face comes into view, and her heart felt like it just leapt up to her throat.
"Oh my gosh." She whispers to herself.
Every memory, every inch of detail she remembers about him comes rushing back and for a second, her brain felt like it just shorted out, until she hears a small sound coming from her purse.
Snapping back to reality, she pulls out her cell phone, "Hi, sweetie…Yeah I'm umm…I'm on my way…"
She takes once final glance at Ryan who was now walking into the coffee shop and then turns around to go meet her fiancée.