Birthday Surprise - FUKASE!

A/N: Guess who changed her name? I CHANGED MY NAME! Heh all thanks to tanya-lilac. Hey! Thats the second time Ive mentioned her in my chapters! Wow I'm freaky.

Warning: THIS CHAPTER IS WEIRD.

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Sasuke, Naruto and Kiba were out in the forest searching for fire wood for, you know, their fire.

"I still don't see why we can't just light the fire with Sasuke's katon no jutsu." Naruto whined, picking up a random twig.

"We are," Sasuke said slowly, "Or, is your brain too focused on the horrible task of picking up random twigs to notice the fact that once a fire is lit, it needs something to keep it going. For example, the wood."

"Well SOR-RY for offending you!" Naruto said sarcastically.

"Oh, don't worry about it." Sasuke retorted, "I wouldn't expect something so complex from a person with a one digit IQ."

The Three stopped. Naruto glared. "I beg your pardon?"

"Hard at hearing?" Sasuke asked boredly.

"WHOA!" Kiba cut in between them "Whats with all the HOSTILITY! I thought you guys were friends!"

"We WERE, before he flirted with my fiancée." Sasuke said in a disgusted tone. Trying to control his anger.

Kiba looked almost betrayed at Naruto. "H-how COULD YOU?"

"I DIDN'T! I was helping her make DINNER." Naruto said at his own defense.

"More like MOLESTING HER." Sasuke spat. "GOD, do you think I'm that naive? Certainly NOT."

Kiba stared in horror at the two, trying to figure out what to do next. He then quickly resolved his situation by jumping up to a random tree and watching the bickering from a safe distance.

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Sakura and Tenten chopped up veggies and threw them into a gigantic pot with other things that I won't mention for your sake. "Dinners gonna be DEE-LIOUS!" Tenten sang, stirring the pot.

"True dat." Sakura said before quickly covering her mouth. "Did I just say that?"

Tenten sadly nodded her head.

"Never again." Sakura said quietly to herself. "Never again."

Ino then walked up to the two, "Uh, Theres a guy by the river that says hes waiting for a dog, what should I do with him?"

"What?" Sakura asked, "Let me see."

And the three of them walked off leaving the poor soup to boil over. Cooking 101 people! Don't leave your food alone. YOU COULD START A FIRE.

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"Hey Neji! Shino! DON'T DITCH ME! " Lee yelled, struggling to keep up with the two.

"We're not DITCHING you. We JUST said that we we're going ahead because we were hungry." Neji explained before giving us all an exasperated sigh that told everyone that lee was just SO annoying.

"There are ditcher's and ditchies." Shino said solemnly.

"Uh."

The two started at the bug-person before going ahead. Shino stared at Neji and Lee's backs before glaring at the sky. "Damn you FanFiction."

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"Face it Naruto, you've had a crush on Sakura since you MET her. Your just mad because I got to her first."

Sasuke cried, stabbing his finger at the innocent Naruto.

"OBVIOUS MUCH?" Kiba yelled from his tree.

"Shut up Kiba!" Sasuke snapped. Then darted his attention to Naruto who currently had clenched fists and was looking at something in the air.

"It's true, I once loved Sakura. But NOT ANYMORE!" Naruto said dramatically, "I would never turn my back on Hinata! NEVER!" At this point tears were streaming down the young shinobi's face along with slow music in the background.

Sasuke stood. Frozen. Never had he heard Naruto speak so...so...passionately. Well, except for that one time, but he ended up punching the ground afterwards.

He sighed, "Very well," and with that, he was gone in a poof of smoke.

"Well, that was weird." Kiba said turning to Naruto who was now punching the ground in -er-fury?

Kiba shook his head and walked off into the distance. It's going to be a while until we see him again.

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"eh-h-HEY!" Sakura yelled.

The man continued to kiss Sakura on the arms and hands freaking everyone around them out.

"WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING?" Lee screeched, throwing his arms in the air to emphasize his scream.

Ino slowly turned towards Lee, "Well, I told Sakura and Tenten about this guy by the river and then they said 'Oh! I want to see him!' and then we went to see him and then he saw Sakura and was saying all this stuff and introducing himself and saying he was Fukase to her and then he started kissing her on the arms and hands."

"Oh." Lee said in understanding."OH MY GOD WE HAVE TO GET HIM OFF HER BEFORE SASUKE GETS BACK!"

"OH SHIT!"someone yelled.

"Okay everyone, the one important thing is to stay calm." said Shikamaru before making a plan to deal with the situation. "Ino, try taking Fukase off Sakura. Chouji. Lee. You two try to find Sasuke and distract him."

"Why would you want to distract me?"

All heads turned to the direction of the cool, uchiha-like voice. Sasuke continued to stare at the group of people surrounding Shikamaru "Where's Sakura?" He then turned to the river bank and his eyes widened in anger. "OH MY GOD GET OFF MY WOMAN."

Fukase looked up tiredly. "Who says you own her?"

Everyone gasped.

"I SAY SHES MY WOMAN. AND WHATEVER I SAY, GOES." Sasuke said angrily.

"I think we have a control freak on our hands, why don't you go to a place where everyone will bow down to you? LIKE HELL." Fukase laughed to himself at his wonderful insult.

Sasuke tried to ignore the fact that Fukase was tap dancing on his last nerve. "Could you PLEASE remove yourself from my fiancée?"

By that time everyone but Sakura, Sasuke and Fukase had left the camp grounds. They didn't want to risk getting hurt.

"No." Was all Fukase said.

"Oh, okay..." Sasuke slowly turned around started to walk away. Ooh, Sasuke is so smart! He was going to use the oldest trick in the book, the: I'll pretend I'm walking away and then turn around and attack him like a mad animal trick. And so when Sasuke had his back completely faced to Fukase, he took three slow steps and then quickly turned around only to find Fukase off of Sakura and on his knees bowing.

"W-What the duce?" Sasuke said kicking Fukase off of his feet.

"Please Uchiha-san, accept my apologies. Your fiancée is so beautiful, I couldn't help myself." Fukase continued to ramble on about how pretty Sakura was and how sorry he was and dinner and it was his mothers fault.

'So he saw my fan when I turned around...HEH HEH HEH. I NEVER LOSE!' Sasuke thought as he let Fukase continue to kiss his feet.

Sakura stared. And stared. Until she shook her head and walked away to get everyone and tell them that there's nothing to be worried about.

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hehhheheheheheheheheh...THATWASVERYSHORTTOOOOO! IM SO SORRY. I can't help it. ITS LIKE THE SHORT HAS TAKEN OVER MY SOUL. But you can help me! I KNOW YOU CAN...you can...

REVIEW.

OH and the neji, lee shino part...It REALLY doesnt make sense so just humor me and laugh...okay?

BYEYBEYBEYBEYBEYBEYBYE

--shika

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