This is another idea I've had in my head awhile. "If Murrue didn't die and had her baby instead . . ." Also, Thanks to lithiumflower56 for helping me decide some things about this chapter!
Beware, Mu gets really out-of-character here. I didn't know how to write him.
IV. New Baby
The doctor had come out.—The same one Mu had watched go through those doors after telling him what had happened. He'd finally come out, and now it was Mu's turn to get some answers.
"How is everything?" Mu asked, agitation high in his voice. It made him sound so weak, but he didn't care—not with what they were talking about.
"The baby's fine," the young doctor answered with a reassuring smile. A reassuring fake smile that faltered and dropped. ". . . But, sir, you'll have to stay out here."
Mu stared back at the doctor, silent. He didn't understand. Yet the doctor's quiet voice did nothing for his nerves. "There were . . . complications."
"Com-complications . . . ?"
The doctor glanced down at his hands. Somehow he wasn't able to look Mu in the eye.
"Even though the delivery went better than some of us had hoped, your wife . . ."
Mu couldn't breathe.
It couldn't be possible—No, it couldn't be—Not after so much. . . .
The young man in the coat that stood before Mu faltered—He must have easily seen the drain of color from Mu's tanned face.
"Bu-but," Mu quickly shot back. "But it's been eight months since . . ." since her sickness was taken care of. How . . . ?
"It seems that your wife wasn't as strong as—" The man was cut off as a nurse ran into the room, breathless.
"Doctor!" She hurriedly called, quickly running back the way she came. Even without saying a closing word, the medical man ran off. Something was wrong.
Mu knew where. Even without thinking he knew, the way his heart seemed to skip every other beat told him where.
Feeling every eye of the semi-crowded waiting room on him, especially his daughter's, Mu stood alone for a moment, looking forward at nothing, strength focused on keeping himself strong.
He turned around and walked over to his chair from before. Sitting down he barely said a word. Evi shifted closer to her father cocked her head with inquisitive eyes.
"Daddy?"
Her young voice jolted him from the nightmare that was running before his eyes over and over again. As much as he wanted to stop it all, his mind wouldn't let him forget and his heart wouldn't stop sinking.
What was happening was . . .
"Daddy?"
"—Yes?" He cracked a smile, though he knew it nowhere near resembled one of his own. Mu somehow kept his smile going as he turned to face his little girl. "What is it, Evi?"
". . . Is there something wrong with Mama?" She muttered quietly, teetering forward in the waiting-room chair. She looked up at where the young doctor had stood minutes before. "She went over there, right?" Evi pointed towards the hospital doors. Mu couldn't keep off the un-believing smile—she was too observant.
Her next whispered words took his smile and shredded it along with the weak hold he'd built on himself. "When something's wrong with Mama, Daddy, you get very quiet.—Quieter than even Mattie." Her probing stare took everything he had left and shattered it.
"Oh . . . Evi . . ."
Mu slowly reached out to his young daughter, arms enfolding the small girl, bringing her closer. She could feel his shallow breaths across her neck, his faintly shaking body holding her small frame. He touched her like the finest glass, as if afraid she, too, would break if he held her too tight. Evi was stunned silent. She never felt Daddy so . . .
She hugged him back, small arms encircling his thick neck, unsure of what to do. Daddy always knew what to do, but she wasn't Daddy.
"She's okay," Mu whispered reassuringly. "Remember that, Evi. She's okay."
She nodded, smiling, loving it curled up against his chest.
It wasn't long until the little girl fell asleep wrapped up his arms, his thick shoulder her pillow. Mu could only imagine what excited and happy thoughts ran through her mind as she drifted off thinking about her new sister or brother. The idea made him smile.
But, he had only just stopped shaking from fear and his mind wasn't so simple to forget about everything. As each moment passed Mu's mind forced itself to believe that everything was okay, but hidden not-so-deep and growing came the realization that he was losing Murrue . . . again. And there was absolutely nothing he could do.
Nothing he was doing. Even though Murrue was . . .
"Sorry, it took so long!" The smiling voice caught Mu's attention, but the young nurse wasn't the same one from the before, but another from the Maternity ward. Mu remembered her. She was the one who took Matt when the kid started complaining about how hungry he was.
Mu looked up and struggled with a slight wave. Evi was occupying both his arms at the moment.
The nurse smiled and pulled the young Matthew along beside her. He was slow in his steps—still a bit wobbly on his feet though strong enough to walk alone. Matt suffered a wave towards his waiting father who returned it with a grin.
"You'd be amazed at how long it takes to find some suitable food for our Matt here," the nurse relayed with a genuine smile. "See, we don't usually get such young patients here—other than newborns of course."
"Yep, Daddy," Matt smiled, bounding out of the nurse's hold and running up to Mu. The boy took one look at his curled up sister and cocked his head. "Evi . . . Sleeping?"
"Yeah," Mu sighed with a grin. "Everybody's tired, Kiddo." Matt glanced around.
"Is Mommy tired too?"
Mu suffered in silence for a moment. His mouth had gone surprisingly dry.
"Yes," he finally nodded. "Yeah, that's why we can't wake her up." Mu froze at his own words. They brought reality back. ". . . right now," he added quickly to help himself. His heart began to race thinking about what lay beyond those closed doors. "We can't wake her up right now because she's tired."
"Oh, okay." Matt smiled, pleased with the explanation. The young boy thought to himself a moment before reaching both his arms up towards his sitting father.
Mu's eyebrows arched at the gesture. Clearly a sign for him to pick the boy up. Of course, it didn't seem to matter Mu was tied down with Evi at the moment.
"Um . . . Matt?" Mu didn't know what to say next. The kid was too small to get onto the chair beside by himself but Mu couldn't just leave him there on the floor. The young nurse that had been so helpful before had gone off somewhere and the semi-filled waiting room was still—nobody moving to help.
"Here, c'mere."
With a loud sigh, Mu went to shift Evi over onto his other shoulder so he'd have at least one side of his body open to movement. She kept sleeping as Mu struggled to balance her and raising Matt, him finally collapsing in the less-than-comfy hospital chair one child to each arm.
He was absolutely tired from the feat that made him realize two major things: his children were getting too old too fast and he was getting too old too fast.
Matt happily snuggled up into his father. He was used to naps after eating, so, with a few words, the young boy was naturally sound asleep.
If Mu could, he would have palmed his face or something at the overwhelming of reality. But he couldn't resist a small smile. He could barely hold two kids—what about the third one? He might have to grow another arm.
But, the foreboding silence of the hospital waiting room reminded him of what was going on beyond those doors. It all came flooding back.
It was too much to handle, and, needing a break, Mu took a deep breath and closed his eyes trying to focus his mind on something that couldn't get him riled up. His breathing and their breathing—a calming thought.
Mu could've drifted off to sleep—if he did, he didn't realize.
It was only when that doctor came again—the young man from before . . . It was only then that Mu "woke-up" to see the man standing there. Mu quickly studied the face, but it was so drawn, Mu could decipher any news from the doctor's face—good or bad.
"Mister LaFlaga, you're needed in the-ah . . ." The doctor faltered. Mu had tried to stand, but forgot about the two kids wrapped around his neck and almost toppled over. Mu, pinned to the chair, could only palm at his face—mind too busy spinning for him to actually say anything.
Something came, sweeping across the hospital floor. Mu only looked up when he felt Matt's weight being lifted off his shoulder.
It was that nurse. The one who'd helped before. She'd curled the young kid in her own arms, smiling sunshine—as always.
"I'll watch them," she said quietly as another nurse came over to help pry Evi off Mu as well. "This is a time for you after all."
The second he was free, Mu was quickly on his feet, but before he literally ran from the room, Mu had enough charismatic sense to spin around and face the name-less woman who'd been so kind to him.
"Thank you."
All she did was smile back as Mu disappeared from the room. All his thoughts ran together—nothing solid and stable coming to mind. Part of him was scared—scared beyond anything else in life. Another part was ecstatic—happiness knowing no bounds. He couldn't choose what to feel, but quickly dread filled in more.
That doctor's face . . . Mu hadn't seen a smile—at all.
What if . . . Murrue . . .—What if—
Mu quickly followed the doctor's hollow steps, easily making the sharp turn into a separate hallway.
Mu didn't know where he was going, but part of him was too afraid to know.
One more turn and the doctor stopped him. The young man pointed towards a window quietly.
Mu was toostunned to notice, heart literally stopped, for in the window was . . .
"C-Can I go in . . . ?" Mu stammered, mind completely losing his sense of the world. "C-Can I see her . . . ?"
It was too much.
The young doctor motioned Mu in through the doors and the older man stumbled in.
Mu could see her. He could see her now. But . . .
Part of him wanted so much to just cry, but he struggled to keep himself in check and he began shaking instead.
Murrue was there. She was—
"You're late," she huffed, dark eyes glaring at him in his doorway post.
Mu opened his mouth to give some smart retort, but every thought in his mind flew away from his grasp. Seeing Murrue there, glaring back at him as he came closer . . . it all just made him smile.
"I know," he muttered, face melting into a warm, heart-stirring smile.
Almost cautious in his steps, Mu slowly made his way to beside her, beside the hospital bed.
He could see Murrue lying there, propped up and strong. He could see the bundle wrapped up in her arms. He could see it move, and he could see her smile. But his mind couldn't register it.
It didn't seem possible.
But Murrue fixed that idea.
"It's a girl," she whispered, the dark amber of her eyes catching his. Glancing down at the baby girl, Mu's eyebrows arched, roguish grin returning at the thought.
"Another Evi?" He mused, regaining himself.
Murrue nearly deflated at the idea, shoulders sagging in playful weakness.
"Hope not," she sighed looking down at their daughter once more. Mu's face stretched even more at his wife's reaction. He couldn't hold it back. He laughed.
Mu's deep, open chuckle sounded in the room and all those that heard it turned to look. But he didn't notice, nor did he care. At his warm laugh, the young baby had begun to stir. She reached up with her tiny frail hand, young fingers just brushing his bare arm.
Mu froze.
"She's so tiny . . ." He muttered, eyes narrowing. Without thinking he brought his hand out to touch her, as if to check whether she was real.
"She'll grow up," Murrue smiled in assurance, thin hand moving up to touch at his wrist. Mu's mind took a tumble at the sudden reality.
"Oh, God."
Murrue couldn't resist a soft giggle at his reaction. She reached for his hand and guided it to the baby's. The young hand curled lightly around his finger and Mu's heart soared.
"You're a father, Mu.—Again." Murrue smiled. She couldn't believe it. A third child. With him. Together. Another miracle.
She spoke again, voice quiet and wispy, the pure exhaustion of hers shining through at that moment. Mu would've been overcome with worry, but her words erased it all.
"Look what we've made."
At her words, everything came rushing back. Everything from what happened in the waiting room to when he'd gotten the call that she was in labor. Everything that had rushed through his mind then rushed back now—especially those moments from before when he'd thought . . .
He surprised her when he tilted forward. He surprised everybody in the room when he steadied himself by placing his thick hands to her weakened shoulders. The tears he'd been holding back in the waiting room slowly spilled then, shamefully falling from his closed eyes. Murrue felt them fall onto her cheeks, mixing with the growing buds of her own. She smiled.
As much as Mu tried to keep composure, he couldn't stop the slow but steady flow.
For moments there he thought he'd lost her again. He thought he'd lost them both again.
But he hadn't lost them. They were both there—with him. The baby . . . Murrue . . . They were still there. They were okay.
Only the young nurse's soft voice wafted through the loving silence.
"Should I bring the other children in, sir?" Mu didn't answer her, but Murrue did. She could see the answer dancing in his eyes.
"Yes," the mother smiled. "They'll want to see, wont they, Mu?" He nodded, regaining his stunned sense as Murrue motherly fixed the pink blanket wrapped about their baby. Mu watched, grin unable to leave his face.
Mu was too happy, even to speak—the only thing he could manage to do was hang on.
Murrue felt his hot, unsteady breath dance across her neck. She could easily feel his thick, strong hands slightly shaking on her shoulders. She could only imagine what had been going through his mind.
"I love you," she whispered, shifting slightly to kiss him on the cheek. Mu smiled at the gesture. His blue eyes were too focused, drifting across the baby's soft face. His gaze caught hers and a sudden fear shot through his heart. What would—But Mu pushed that feeling away. He knew it would be okay. After all . . .
Their newborn daughter was held tightly in his wife's arms.