23 August 2006

A word from Starry: MintPizzaQueen and my sister both told me to continue with this... so that's why this chapter is here. Eh, this is Round one of the sessions. I think I'll do two rounds... I don't know about three, so for now it's just two rounds. I don't know how to pronounce Mr. Minatare's name, so please don't ask me. I got it off a the word dictionary thingy when I was typing the story. These fun to write... hehe. Please enjoy!

I warn you that some chapters will contian Shounen-ai, so if you don't like to read those kind of stories, then don't read mine. I don't want flames or anything. I know some characters might be OOC, but it's fanfiction, so leave me alone. Arigatou.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

xoxoxoxox

Counseling – Chouji x Ino

"So, Mister Akimichi, what happened last night?" The white beard man asked a chubby brown haired younger male who was sitting in a La-Z-Boy across from him. The older man sat with a notebook on his lap and a pen in his hand, ready to write down what the boy was going to say.

Chouji stuck his hand in his bag of Bar-B-Q flavored chips and took out a handful of greasy goodness before popping them into his mouth. He chewed on them slowly, listening to the crunching sound they made whenever he chewed them. It always calmed him down and made him think of nice and good things.

"Mister Akimichi?" asked the man once more, looking at the eating ninja with an emotionless face.

"Huh?" Chouji ate more chips before talking. Why was he here? Shouldn't he be at home eating?

"Are there any problems in your relationship?" Mr. Minatare asked, bringing together both his hands under his chin and leaning in to listen to the bigger boy speak.

Problems? There were lots of problems! There was the problem with his pants fitting him tight in the mornings and his shirts with greasy spots on the fronts! Oh! And not being able to reach the barbeque chips on the side table while lying on the couch! NOW THAT was a BIG problem. Oh yes, it was. "Yes, there are problems," he answered, right before stuffing another chip into his mouth.

"And what is this problem, Mister Akimichi?"

"Ino cooks with olive oil." Chouji stated, furiously. He'd sat up on the La-Z-Boy and his bag of chips was now on the coffee table next to the chipped teacup. "I, never in my life expected me to eat food fried in olive oil!" Chouji shook his head, angrily before sitting back and grabbing his bag and stuffing his hand in.

"Does Ino, know that you dislike her cooking?" Mr. Minatare asked, while he wrote down a few notes.

"No"

"I see, well perhaps you should tell her. Maybe this problem will be solved and you will once more be able to eat food not cooked in olive oil."

At the mention of this, Chouji's eyes lit up and a smile adorned his crumbed stained face. "Do you really think that will happen?" His voice showed signs of hope and relief mixed together.

"Do you know why Ino cooks with olive oil?" The pen was moving on the notebook quite fast, but Mr. Minatare kept his gaze on the portly boy.

Of course he knew! Everyone knew why Ino cooked with olive oil! "Yes, I do know." Chouji stuffed more chips into his mouth after saying this. These chips were really good. He needed to remember to pass by that little store again and buy another box of these. Sure he had two boxes at home, but one can never have enough.

"And why is this?" The older man asked, leaning in to listen.

Right before Chouji was going to answer, he started coughing. He coughed a couple more times, before clearing his throat and stuffing his mouth with more potato chips. After a while of listening to the chips in Chouji's mouth crunch, the Jounin ninja finally answered. "She wants to keep her figure." He chewed some more. "I think she looks fine, but you know, it would be good if she gained a little fat… if you know what I mean." Chouji smiled, winking at Mr. Minatare.

Mr. Minatare nodded to Chouji before sitting back in his chair once more and beginning to write. "Of course, everyone wants a strong girl."

"I sometimes think that she's only with me because Shikamaru married Temari, and I'm the only one she knew a lot and kind of liked." Chouji's eyes were becoming moist as he was saying this.

At this, Mr. Minatare took out a Kleenex box and handed it to the crying ninja. "Now, now, Mister Akimichi, everything is alright. I'm sure Ino feels love for you, it's just that you don't understand her language."

"Hmm?" Chouji paused in chewing his chips and looked a the man with a curious gaze. "Language?"

"Yes, Language is the solution to all couple problems."

Ino had a language? Suddenly, everything was still… except for the potato chip in Chouji's hand. It slowly slid out of the boys fingers fell to the carpeted floor where it didn't break. Of course, Chouji didn't notice this because he was too busy being amazed that his future to be wife had another language he didn't know. "What language does Ino speak?" he asked, "American?"

"No, Mister Akimichi, it's the language that she needs you to buy her Mazola oil and foods that will make her more appealing to you." The pen stopped moving on the notebook and everything was quiet.

Chouji now had a big smile on his face. BIG SMILE. This was perfect! Ino had finished her obsession with wanting to be skinny and she would once more cook those good tasty foods. "I'll be sure to answer in the language she wants!" Chouji got up from his seat grabbing his chip bag and walking over to Mr. Minatare and embracing him in a tight hug. "Arigatou Gozaimasu!"

The older man nodded before pulling himself away from the big boned man. "Of course, I'm here to help, remember?" He fixed his glasses before extending his hand out to Chouji. "I'll be seeing you next week at the same time?"

"Yes! Of course! I will pay you because you helped me in my relationship." Chouji took the man's hand in his greasy hands and shook it with a firm hand shake. He then turned around and walked out of the room.

Mr. Minatare's eyes moved to the forgotten potato chip on the nice navy blue carpet. Right when he was going to go and pick it up, Chouji walked in again.

"Sorry, I forgot something." The brown haired boy bent down to pick up the chip before stuffing it in his mouth. He then smiled at Mr. Minatare and turned around and walked out once more.

Once outside, Chouji bumped into Sakura. "Hi," he said, sticking his hand in the bag.

Sakura stared at Chouji before nodding. "How did your meeting go?"

"Good. Thank you for recommending him, Sakura-chan. I must be going now; I have to buy a few things." Chouji waved and walked away, leaving a smiling pink haired girl behind.

(Next Day)

"So, Miss Yamanaka, what happened last night?" The white beard man asked a thin blonde haired young woman who was sitting in a La-Z-Boy across from him. The older man sat with a notebook on his lap and a pen in his hand, ready to write down what the girl was going to say.

Ino was infuriated and shocked, no, not shocked but horrified! "You want to ask what didn't happen last night!" she said, shaking her head and making her long blonde ponytail move side to side.

"Really now? What happened," Mr. Minatare began to write down a few notes on the notebook and paused to turn the page.

"Chouji is crazy! How can he buy that poison? Does he want me fat? Am I not good enough for him?" Ino got up from the La-Z-Boy and began walking around in the small office. "He brought Mazola oil last night and said we should cook fried dumplings! FRIED DUMPLINGS!"

"Right, friend dumplings, mhm," the man continued writing as the young girl spoke in a fast pace.

"Do you want to know how long ago it was that I last ate a friend dumpling?" Ino stopped walking and waited for Mr. Minatare to look at her before continuing.

"How long, Miss Yamanaka?"

"Ever since I hit puberty! How does he expect me to eat friend dumplings after such a long time of finally being able to overcome that monster that tells you to eat! It took me a long time to say no! It was hard, but I said it! I said NO!" Ino raised her hand to the sky and shook her hand.

"Of course, have you thought why he's done this?" Mr. Minatare looked up from his notebook to study Ino for a brief moment.

Ino stopped and shook her head, eyes widening a bit in curiosity. "No, do you know why?" After saying this, the blonde went back to the soft chair and sat down.

"Perhaps he wants you to speak his language." The man raised his hands and brought them together under his chin. The same way Sasuke did, but Sasuke looked much hotter… of course, Ino wasn't going to say this because she was engaged to Chouji, whom she loved very much… even if he ate too much potato chips.

"Language?" she asked, a confused expression on her young face.

"Yes, Miss Yamanaka, language."

"What language does he speak? American?" Chouji did not speak another language! I mean, Ino was about to marry him! If he did, she would already know… neh?

"No, Miss Yamanaka, the language he speaks is the language of oil. He's telling you with the oil that he wants you to become a bit thicker. That he loves you, no matter what."

"WHAT? I can't be fat! Eww! No one likes fatties, have you seen fat people married with beautiful skinny people? NO!" Ino was furious at this. How could Chouji do this to her? He knew how much she wanted to be thin!

"Miss Yamanaka, you are marrying a not so skinny man. I'm sure you know the quote, "You must not judge a book by its cover." Am I correct?" The notebook now lay sideways on the man's lap, showing only a little bit of what he'd written. Of course, he noticed and immediately turned it over.

Ino's mouth dropped open. "But I love Chouji! He's not fat! He's big boned, so don't say that about him!" How dare he say something like that about Chouji? "Besides, I'm sure his language is telling me he wants me to continue to buy olive oil and save us from the fats out there in the world." Ino nodded. Yes, that was what her husband was really telling her.

"Are you sure about that, Miss Yamanaka?" he asked, giving her a piercing look.

"Yes, and I'm leaving." Ino got up and began walking towards the door. "I should have never listened to stupid Sakura! Her recommendations are just a waste of time! Goodbye Mr. Minatarous!" With that, Ino walked out the door shutting it behind her.

xoxoxoxoxo

Next chapter: Rock Lee x Gaara