On we go. Rochwen sends her thanx for something. I don't remember what
Chapter 3
Aboard the Black Pearl the crew had just arrived at Port Royal to talk to Will and Elizabeth about an important job:
"Mr. and Mrs. Turner we need you to help us retrieve Jack from the Commodore."
What could Andi have been thinking? The last thing we need on my ship is ANOTHER man. Every time we attack she brings another one they never last long here either, pansies. And it wouldn't be so bad that there is a man on board but this one, Captain Jack Sparrow. He'll drink all my rum! And besides that he's a man of power he is the BEST pirate! I can't live up to that. I should put him in the brig, harder to break out of.
Oh look he's awake, not what I needed for the transfer from mast to brig. Well maybe this will be easy he looks like something tried to eat him. Hmm that sounds like a good idea feed him to the sharks. But then that would eliminate whatever Andi brought him on board for.
"Captain Sparrow, I see you have awakened at last," maybe being as mean as possible would make this less…unpleasant, "Welcome to the Pure Rose. You won't be enjoying your stay."
"Ahh so this is the ship crewed by women? Then maybe I can have some fun while I'm here." He says this with a smile on his face. Yeah buddy like I'm going to untie you. You're in my space and I don't like that.
"You are here as a prisoner from the Dauntless nothing more. As soon as it is decided what to do with you your out of here and until then you are staying tied to the mast or in the brig. If you need anything Andi or I will assist you." Ha! You can't do anything you are a bad pirate.
"Would Andi be the captain of this fair ship?" Oh trying to get to me are we well not going to work. I need some rum. Let's go find it.
"Andi, I need rum Jack here is too much for me to handle without something in my system! And Jack, I'm the captain. If you knew anything of the tales of my ship you would know that Captain Jolene would be somebody you wouldn't want to trifle with. Enjoy your stay."
Yuck I feel contaminated. That bastard thought Andi was the captain. When it was obvious that I am, Andi wasn't the one giving orders. I need a drink and to punch something. Hmm… maybe I could punch Jack, that would be sooo satisfying but then someone would complain. Maybe I should let the crew free on Jack. He wouldn't survive the night. But knowing him he would.
Oh look Andi's here, she'll take the rum she hates it when I'm drunk. Something about me acting crazier, don't know what she's talking about. But I'm going to get a speech on treatment of Jack.
"I think Jack should be put in the brig. The crew is being distracted knowing he is right there in front of them for the taking." Oh she's not defending him she wants him out of sight. I like that idea out of sight out of mind. Wait he is out of sight then why isn't he out of mind. Who came UP with that phrase totally not applicable?
"Would have done that already but he awoke when I was getting ready to. And I am not moving him while he is awake, less of a hazard. So until he is out I'm not moving him. In fact I'm not going to touch him. You and the crew can move him since he is your company." Ha that will show her and him.
"Well it would be easier to knock him out with rum." Fine Andi say that in a way that will essentially mean I have to give my rum to him. Not the rum. He can have anything else on the ship but not the rum it's mine. But then she probably would still give the blasted man the rum.
"Fine but only one bottle, that's all he's getting for the entirety of his stay on my ship. Any complaints will result in loss of the bottle." And I feel a moment of weakness coming on, "And let him roam free for an hour every day but only an hour any more and he will be sorry." Take that you pomp ace ass. Get yourself on my ship again.
I took the bottle from Jo and headed onto the deck.
"Oy! Somebody go grab Jack-"Half the crew ran over to the mast. I could see him smiling. "And take him below deck and throw him in the brig. Good lord, you'd think we never let you all interact with men! Just untie him and bring him down because I'm too lazy to, I'll be right behind you." I rolled my eyes as I followed a red head leading him down. As I walked, I turned the bottle of rum over in my hand. Knock him out with a bottle of rum…hmmmmm. That could be arranged. Now, I'm not one to think twice about silly ideas that come into my head, so the bottle was empty by the time we got to the brig. Above mentioned red head released him into a cell and I followed.
"Welcome to the Pure Rose Mr. Sparrow." He raised his eyebrows as though expecting something. I smiled and whacked him over the head with the now empty rum bottle. Knocked out with rum. Easy enough. I stepped out and locked the cell before starting my stumbling journey back to the deck. Now, it's not that I can't hold a drink or anything, but I had just downed a half full bottle of rum in about three minutes, at the most. So, I was pretty sure I was going toward the deck…I was following the red head, I think.
"Andi?" I turned and had to grab the door way I was walking through for support. Jo was standing in front of me. "Why are you walking into a closet?" I glanced over my shoulder in the direction I had been walking. I was indeed a closet. I think. That thing was either a mop or a blonde crew member…I couldn't quite tell.
"Closet inspection," I practically yelled in a very slurred matter. "Had to make sure it was still there. It could have moved." Jo stared blankly at me. Oh dear, it was welling up inside me…this happens every time I drink too much. I could feel it rising. Jo and I stared at each other in silence. She knew it was going to happen too. No use fighting it. Any second now. It happened. It started with a little giggle, but about three seconds later, I was in tears. "Moving…CLOSETS!" I gasped through peels of ridiculous laughter. I was doubled over; tears were streaming down my face again.
"God Andi," Jo muttered. She grabbed me by the sleeve and started leading me up towards the fresh air. We passed some crew member and I pulled away and grabbed her by the shoulders. I controlled my laughter for a second.
"Beware! The closets move!" Then I practically fell over laughing.
"She's been drinking again?" I can only assume Jo nodded, but I couldn't tell. I staggered up the last of the stairs and collapsed on the deck, laughing so hard I was afraid I would wet myself. I could sense a small crowd gathering around me and sat up on my knees. I tried to tell a story, but I was quite drunk, so the effect was rather humorous.
"Crew of the Rure Pose be warned! There are closets on this here boat! CLOSETS! Do you know what they do?" I grabbed the knees of the closest person. "They malk! Wove! I mean move and walk! At night! When you're asleeeeeeep in your beds! They…attack!" I sprung at someone else, knocking her over. Everyone laughed a little. Now, when I get like this, if something that's actually funny happens, I'm gone. And so, I was far beyond mad. I was rolling on my back, tears streaming down my face, sides aching, face sore, laughing. Not just giggling, I mean roaring laughter. But hey, when you're on a ship like this one, you get used to this sort of thing.