The Second Half of the Musical Interlude
In the middle of the week, the early evening is the worst time to go to the grocery store. That's about the time that most soccer moms finish picking up their kids from extracurriculars and decide they need to find something for dinner. It's around the time when young professionals, caught in rush hour traffic, stop off at a nearby shopping center to get their groceries. It's also when Jane looked in the fridge and realized they ran out of food.
"You know, this would've been a lot easier if you guys would've let me go alone," Jane commented to her sister as they walked across the parking lot.
"No, it wouldn't," said Lydia from Jane's other side. "Because Lizzy and I would've gotten a little stir-crazy back at home, and you would've had to deal with the consequences."
"Look, they're out of shopping carts," Jane said with a sad frown.
"Don't worry; we'll just get a—Oh!" Lizzy gasped, looking in the alley along the side of the store. "Why didn't I bring my camera?"
"Because it's weird to bring a camera grocery shopping," Lydia said stoutly.
"Yeah, but that's such a great shot," Lizzy said, pouting. She nodded at two middle-aged women squaring off over the last shopping cart. "I could have call 'Soccer Mom Showdown.'"
Jane whispered, "Shhh, Lizzy. They'll hear you," and Lizzy grinned.
Lydia rolled her eyes. "You two decide if we need to walk back home to get Lizzy's camera. I'll go get a basket."
The Bennet twins blinked after her as their cousin strode in the store, long blonde ponytail swinging. "Is it just me, or is Lydia getting more sarcastic these days?" Lizzy asked.
"She gets that from you," Jane said sighing.
"No…" Lizzy said, looking from the door to her twin. "Really?"
"Well, she certainly didn't get that from me," Jane said with a hesitant smile as they stepped into the building.
"But it's a good thing, right?" Lizzy said, glancing over the long lines at the check-out. "I mean, it's a step up from crying. At least she's stopped that."
Jane shook her head. "I think she's just stopped crying in front of us."
"Well, damn," Lizzy muttered.
"Damn who?" Lydia asked, coming up behind the twins with a green shopping bag handing from her hand.
"Wickham," Lizzy replied cheerfully.
"Oh," replied Lydia blankly, as Jane took the basket from her with a worried frown. "I thought you were damning that Darcy guy again."
Lizzy's eyes narrowed. "Him, too. He's on my list of People who Need Their Ass Kicked. When I see him next, it's on."
"You're going to see him again?" Jane asked surprised.
"Yep," Lizzy said darkly. Then after they started off through the produce section and Lizzy remembered that she didn't have Will's phone number, or email, or screen name, or anything, she added, "I think."
"But who's this Darcy guy?" Lydia asked, arms crossed. When the Bennet twins exchanged glances, she said irritably, "You said you'd tell me later. It's definitely later."
"Yeah, but the best thing about the word 'later' is that it's indefinite," Lizzy said, inspecting a green apple for bruises and humming along to the Dave Matthews Band coming in over the store's stereo system.
"Don't tease her, Lizzy," Jane scolded.
"Do I know him?" Lydia asked. "You can at least tell me that."
Lizzy considered, and Jane replied, "Not as Will Darcy." Lizzy sent her sister a reproachful frown, but Jane shrugged, saying "It's true."
"How?" Lydia asked irritably, ripping a plastic bag from a nearby roll and shoving apples into it.
"Not so many," Lizzy told her, nodding at the bag. "We have to carry it all back, remember?" When Lydia stopped and glared at her cousin fiercely, Lizzy sighed dramatically. "I can't tell you, Lydia. I made a promise. But I'll promise you that I'll either tell you soon or make him tell you."
"Fine," Lydia muttered, and Jane asked, "He'll listen to you?"
"He will if I make him," Lizzy told her in a sing-song.
"How does he know Jack, then?" Lydia asked as they walked toward the Dairy fridges. "You can at least tell me that."
Lizzy considered for a moment. "Childhood playmates. But they aren't close. Will didn't approve of Wickham's womanizing habits," she explained. Which was true enough.
"I didn't know that," Jane murmured.
Lizzy shrugged, reached for a half-gallon of milk, and put it in the basket without meeting her sister's eyes. "I kind of learned the hard way."
"So…what exactly?" Lydia asked, looking through the many cartons of vanilla yogurt for one with the latest sell-by date. "This Darcy guy decided to pay Jack to settle down with his latest girlfriend to stop him from sleeping around?"
Lizzy glanced at Jane, whose blue eyes were wide and whose lips were pressed delicately, and knew her sister was thinking the same thing she was: that husbandhood probably wouldn't have hindered Wickham's love life much.
"I doubt it," Jane said finally.
"He knew you were pregnant," Lizzy said apologetically as all three wandered into the Frozen Foods section.
Lydia scowled, and Jane watched Lizzy thoughtfully. "How?" Lydia said.
Lizzy was quiet a moment, remembering. "He was there when I found out," she said simply.
"Do you think that Will thought Wickham had changed?" Jane asked softly.
Lizzy snorted, thinking of Giana. "Absolutely not."
"But he might not have guessed that Jack wouldn't have been the best husband in the world?" Lydia said carefully, mouth set in a grim, sarcastic line as she opened the freezer and pulled out three frozen mushroom pizzas (on special and her favorite).
"Doubtful," Lizzy said with a scowl. "Unless he's suffered some sort of head trauma since I've seen him, very doubtful." She took the pizzas from her cousin so Jane's basket wouldn't get too heavy. "There's a good possibility that he's gone completely insane," she added cheerfully, watching Lydia open the glass door to the ice cream section.
"Probably not," said Jane with a shy smile. "Checking into a mental hospital is something we'd probably see on MTV Newsflash."
"Why MTV?" Lydia asked shrewdly, placing two pints of Mint Cookie ice cream into Jane's basket.
"Why Ben and Jerry's?" Lizzy asked, restraining herself from glaring at her sister and nodding at the ice cream.
"Craving," Lizzy asked, with one hand on her belly and wide, begging eyes.
"But you aren't preg—" Jane started but Lizzy shook her head a little.
"You're pushing it," Lizzy said with a mocking grin, and Lydia smiled hesitantly back. "Okay, one pint. You have to put the other back.—And you're sharing."
Lydia cheered and plucked out one carton before moving back to the freezer.
"Softie," Jane teased lightly.
"Do you want to go through the grocery receipts and count how much ice cream I picked up for you?" Lizzy replied with a sharp grin, and Jane laughed until Lydia turned back to the twins, jaw clenched and white faced,
"What?" Jane asked. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," said Lydia hurriedly.
"Don't give us that shit," Lizzy said gently. "You look like you're about to cry." Lizzy wondered lightly if it made her a bad person to think how it would make a good picture: her blonde hair escaping its ponytail and clinging to her cheeks, her face impassive, her eyes full of tears. No, she decided, tucking the hair behind her cousin's ear, it just meant that things were starting to ease up around the young Bennet household.
Lydia opened her mouth to speak, but her mouth twisted and her lower lip started to shake. Jane moved the basket from her right hand to her left and used her free hand to squeeze Lydia gently around the shoulders. "You thought you saw Wickham, didn't you?"
Lydia nodded, sniffing. "Wasn't him, though."
"Yeah, I kept seeing Charlie everywhere after he left. I thought I was going crazy," Jane told Lydia, as they strolled toward the crowded checkout lines, Lydia's head bobbing awkwardly on Jane's shoulder. "That's why I stayed in the apartment so much; I knew I wouldn't see him there."
"Is it normal to want him to show up again so that I can have chance to punch him out?" Lydia asked Jane as the Dave Matthews Band song ended and was replaced with gentle acoustic power chords.
"Absolutely," Jane said enthusiastically. "You're getting mad. That's making progress—"
Lizzy shook her head and followed them, baffled and smiling. Since Wickham left Lydia for the second time, Jane had opened up about her feelings after Charlie left to keep Lydia from depression. Lizzy decided that this was a good sign, that Jane was finally getting over her trouble with Charlie, and smiled to see Jane and Lydia bond over their broken, abandoned hearts.
To celebrate, Lizzy grabbed some chocolate (enough for three) off the shelf and started humming along to the next tune on the radio, without paying much attention to the song's lyrics.
You're not something
I can lie about.
I'm not sure if I
Should say it out loud.
Jane froze mid-step—so fast that Lydia walked right out of her arm and Jane stood swaying with one foot half off the ground and one arm hanging awkwardly in the air. Lydia looked back at Jane frowning, and Lizzy suddenly recognized the song as the tempo picked up and there was a drum thudding out a beat in the background.
But if you'll just take a seat—
Will you listen to my heart beat?—
And I'll tell you the story
Of what I feel. For you.
Jane made a noise in the back of her throat, a noise halfway between a growl and a snort, and she turned back to her sister, her red hair swinging behind her. "I have to get out of here," she told Lizzy, handing over the basket.
"Are you all right?" Lydia asked.
Jane shook her head dismissively, her scowl so fierce that her eyes were just bright blue slits. "I have a date," she explained in a cool, vacant voice. "I have to get ready."
"But it's tomorrow," Lizzy reminded her, but Jane shook her head again and marched toward the automatic glass doors, long red hair swinging across her back.
CHORUS:
It was an accident.
Don't get mad.
Don't get scared.
I didn't mean to feel this way
About you.
Once Jane was safely outside, Lydia turned back to Lizzy, eyebrows raised. "Okay…?"
Lizzy sighed and walked forward a little to catch up to her cousin, shoving the chocolate and the pizza in the basket. "This is the song that Charlie wrote for Jane," she explained.
"Oh," Lydia said, face blank and listening as they walked to stand in the nearest checkout line.
This is a feeling
That I can't control.
But if it helps,
I've never felt this way before.
You're like a dream
I have in parts.
You walk in, and suddenly
My life just starts.
CHORUS:
It was an accident.
Don't get mad.
Don't get scared.
I didn't mean to feel this way
About you.
"Aww, but it's so sweet," Lydia said, turning to Lizzy with a pouting smile.
Lizzy set the basket down on the floor, while they waited. "Not to Jane. She was under the impression that this was their song, not to be shared with anyone else."
"Oh," Lydia said quietly. Lizzy smiled and guessed that her cousin wouldn't be so polite if she wasn't try to get information.
I hope you don't mind.
It shouldn't be a problem.
We've both been through worse.
It'll be fine if you just hear me out—
"Lizzy," said Lydia, so quietly that Lizzy turned to her sharply, wary of the next question, "Why do you think that Will Darcy paid Jack to marry me?"
Taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, Lizzy watched Lydia's carefully composed face. "If I had to make a guess," Lizzy said reluctantly, "I'd say Will's very old-fashioned. He probably thought that a bad husband is better than no husband."
"Oh," Lydia said, thoughtfully.
I'll walk away
If you ask me to,
But baby, first you've
Gotta ask me to go.
Away. From you.
"I don't think I really loved Jack," Lydia said conversationally, in the middle of Charlie's guitar solo, as if Lizzy had asked. One of the people in front of them finished paying up, and the line moved. Lizzy pushed the basket forward with her foot and watched her cousin. Lydia fingered the packets of gum at the side of the register. "I mean, I think I loved the idea of Jack more than Jack himself? Does that make sense?"
"Yes," Lizzy replied.
Lydia let out a half-hearted laugh. "I don't even know how I could've liked him in the first place. I mean, in retrospect he was always…" she trailed off and slowly lifted her eyes to meet Lizzy's.
"Well," Lizzy replied, "love is blind, right?"
"No," Lydia corrected with a bitter scowl, "love is pissed off." But when Lizzy laughed, Lydia grinned too.
I know I've messed up
I know we can't be friends,
But maybe we'll be more
If you'll just give me another chance.
CHORUS:
It was an accident.
Don't get mad.
Don't get scared.
I didn't mean to feel this way
About you. About you.
"Lizzy, are you in love with Will Darcy?" Lydia asked, very quietly, her eyes on the ground.
Lizzy raised one eyebrow at her cousin, half-smiling at her cousin's curiosity. She knew she didn't have to answer if she didn't want to; Lydia most likely didn't expect an answer. But if she didn't, Lydia would just guess anyway.
"Probably." It was the first time Lizzy had admitted it out loud. "But I'm seriously reconsidering now that I know how crazy he is." When Lydia turned to her expectantly, she continued, "The worst part is that he's probably well-intentioned. It makes it so much harder to yell at him with a clear conscience." At her cousin's surprise, she grinned and added, "Doesn't mean I won't, though."
"Does Jane know?" Lydia asked.
"She probably suspects." Lizzy shrugged. "But she's preoccupied with her own stuff right now."
I'm ready to try again.
I know I've got no right to ask, but
It's getting harder to pretend.
We're both need to be past this,
But after everything,
You are the only one I miss.
The tempo slowed again, and Fitz's drumbeat faded away as Lizzy and Lydia exchanged glances. There was a final chord, and then Charlie's voice came back a cappella.
It was an accident.
I know you're mad.
I know you're scared.
But all I want is to feel this way
About…you…
"I think Charlie's added to the song since Jane heard it last," Lizzy said with a wide grin, as the last note faded out and an afternoon talk show began.
"I think," Lydia said grinning back, "that Bing wants to get back together with Jane. That's what I think."
"I think we're going to have to convince Jane to listen to the song all the way through," Lizzy decided. The next person in line checked out, and they finally got close enough for Lizzy to put the basket on the conveyer belt.
"Lizzy…" Lydia said slowly, eyes wide, looking over her cousin's shoulder.
"Here, we'll practice: 'I know you're mad; I know you're scared,'" Lizzy sang. grinning, "But he can't help but feel this—"
"Oh, my God, Lizzy," Lydia interrupted, pointing at the magazine rack behind Lizzy's head.
There, on the front page of The Globe, was a headline printed in yellow: "B.F.D.'s MYSTERY GIRLFRIEND." Next to it, smaller on the right, was a photograph Lizzy vaguely remembered taking sneakily at Netherfield: Charlie grinning and holding the door for a pretty redhead, who was smiling up at him from under the circle of his arm.
It was Jane.