Necropolis demon
Disclaimer: I own nothing that remotely resembles YuGiOh.
Necro: Kaiba hates himself for feeling the way he feels about Ryou.
It's very hard to keep Kaiba and Ryou in character so I had to toss ideas back and forth to make sure they're balanced psychologically. Their relationship is totally confusing.
This is the continuation of chap 22's, it was a Friday night ok. Later on the time shifts towards early Saturday morning.
Oh and…the next chapter is the end.
Oh and before I forget, Venetian Romance isn't in the Euroshipping C2 archive, so please get Venetian Romance archived there. Please and Thank you.
The Game
Chapter 23 Longing for Love and Hating It
Things at the Kaiba mansion had started so well and perfectly as if everything was part of some child's fairytale, but like most fairytales tragedy struck our characters, and in this story a happy ending was not a sure thing. After what happened between Kaiba and Ryou, the two ended up knowing that it would be awkward whenever the other was in sight. Ryou would emanate an air of nervousness and shame while Kaiba on the other hand would probably act as if nothing ever happened, he acted this way in a sense that he'd never met Ryou therefore he would act like an arrogant jerk just as he was before Ryou came along into his life.
Bad was an understatement to describe what had happened. In Ryou's eyes Kaiba seemed to disgust in him, Kaiba seemed to look down on him, Kaiba seemed to have built up a colder façade especially for him…Kaiba now loathed him.
And all Ryou could do was bear it…oh why did he have to feel this way?
After that kiss had ensued, Kaiba left the room wordlessly with no emotion or shock or pleasure apparent on his features, it was like…he'd lost himself, literally. Moments passed and Ryou was still sitting on that sofa, trying his best to grasp what had happened, eventually he made his way to his room…the others left guiltily…Mokuba carried the guilt as well.
Midnight came, and as if trying to reminisce the drama that had taken place in the Kaiba residence just a few hours ago, the night seemed still and devoid of life. Ryou couldn't sleep as thoughts of Kaiba filled his head. He knew deep inside that he loved Kaiba and also he knew that Kaiba felt the same. The problem was…how to get Kaiba to admit it. How to get Kaiba to tear away those defenses…
The brunette was pushing Ryou away…he would never admit that he felt for Ryou. All those years of facing the cruelties of the world had already done its dark deed; those times had molded Kaiba into the coldness that he was now. Love couldn't seem to penetrate those barriers and miles of ice and snow…and his being was utterly fragile, was once broken…now seeming to be beyond repair after all this.
What was wrong? Kaiba…just couldn't let go of his coldness, he has depended on it for too long and now…he felt that if he were to lose it he wouldn't be able to face the world anymore.
If only he knew that Love was a better replacement than solitude.
Ryou wept, tears stained the pillow he laid his head on…he wept for Kaiba…he knew how hard it was for the guy to grasp all these emotions between them. Kaiba was the closest thing to a person who was incapable of love…their friendship had always been vague…
Oh but he loved Kaiba despite that facade…all along he loved Kaiba, adored him, respected him, feared yet felt secured with him…understood him and loved him in a way that no one could ever do. Such coldness and gruff exteriors meant nothing to Ryou …because he knew what made Kaiba tick, he knew Kaiba's pain…he knew that deep inside Kaiba was just as frail as he was…He knew Kaiba was afraid.
And they needed each other to a point that they wouldn't live to see the sun's light if they weren't meant to be.
Silently Ryou made his way downstairs and headed outside to the enormous backyard of the mansion where the pool was. The night was beautiful and the water was perfectly still as Ryou watched its glassy surface…He stood there alone…watching and still waiting.
A figure behind him watched as well…waited as well…and yet…couldn't bear all this.
…Ryou wasn't the only one who couldn't sleep that night.
"I feel the same way about you." Ryou whispered, not glancing back…he didn't need to look behind him to see who was there.
Silence ensued as Kaiba stood there transfixed with those simple words Ryou had divulge to him…he knew what was meant. But he still couldn't let go…his mask would not allow him to.
"I feel nothing for you" these words were said with such intensity and malice lacing every syllable. Such loathing and resentment was tied to the emotions felt here…It was spiteful and treacherous, meant to hurt…yet concealing; this Ryou knew as Kaiba turned his back on him and proceeded to walk away.
The trees swayed and the leaves flew around in the air following the flow of the soft breeze, the water in the pool was crystal clear and looked strangely magical with the light from the moon reflected on its surface…the water was still and all was silent…
"Liar." Ryou muttered softly, meaning for the teen walking away from him to hear…
"What?" the brunette stopped in his tracks and asked the pale teen in all seriousness without looking directly at the white blond, he still turned his back on Ryou…it was just too painful to look at the pale teen's sad face.
"Liar." The pale teen repeated, this time with his voice louder and accusing, hoping that the stubborn brunette behind him would turn to look.
There was silence between the two; Kaiba refused to look at his weakness while Ryou turned to intently watch the brunette who refused to face him.
"You're a liar Seto Kaiba…a liar." The pale teen spoke, his head low and his brown orbs starting to form tears.
The brunette refused to speak to the teen…he then continued to walk away, avoiding eye contact with the boy…hoping for these emotions of his to stop hurting him…it was hard to push away the one you know you truly loved…it was hard to tell them that you didn't love them even if you knew that this wasn't true…it was even harder to have the one you love hurt inside…but this was something Kaiba had to do…
Push him away…
Push Ryou away…
This time for real…
Or you'll end up hurting yourself Kaiba…
Don't get attached to anyone…
Kaiba kept his pain welled up inside of himself, he couldn't show any weakness and he couldn't show he cared… Ryou would leave him eventually if they ever got together anyway so…
"Kaiba…do you know how to swim?" the pale teen asked in a cheerful but clearly forced way, his soft-spoken voice hiding the immense pain clutching his heart.
"What?"
"I don't…" the white blond whispered, slowly shaking his head 'no' and smiling sadly at the brunette. Ryou tilted to the side of the pool and without warning took a plunge, his tears blown away by the wind as he jumped to drown himself…Kaiba heard the splash and whipped his head towards the teen behind him…Ryou really jumped!
The mask slipped away…
"Ryou!" Kaiba quickly took off his bothersome bathrobe and jumped into the frigid cold pool after Ryou who was really drowning.
It was real…Ryou really was drowning himself! Kaiba swam down to the bottom of the pool and reached out to grab hold of Ryou's hand. The pale teen's eyes were closing and he was losing consciousness, tiny air bubbles escaping from his slightly parted lips…
'No more…no more…leave me alone so I wont be able to cause you anymore pain Kaiba…I love you too much to bear seeing you pained because of me…' Ryou thought to himself, closing his eyes and letting sleep consume him.
The brunette watched Ryou's lithe form sinking into the depths of the pool. Ryou's eyes closed as if he were in a deep sleep, his hair rising upwards and moving in rhythm with the waves, his plush lips slightly parted…all of this making the pale teen look serene and at peace…
Kaiba grabbed Ryou's hand and pulled the unconscious teen close to him then swam to the surface as quickly as he could, hoping that the teen in his arms would pull through.
'Ryou…don't die…not you…' these words rang over and over in Kaiba's head; he didn't want to lose Ryou…he didn't want to lose anymore loved ones…no more…
Gasping for breath and quickly swimming towards the edge of the pool with an unconscious teen in his arms, Kaiba set Ryou by side of the pool and quickly got up from the water to tend to the teen. Ryou was soaked and wet, his eyes still remained closed and he didn't even look like he was breathing at all.
Just then, a sleepy Mokuba rushed to the poolside and was met by the sight of his soaked brother crouching beside another figure, "Big brother what happened? I heard a splash and-" Mokuba's eyes widened as he caught sight of who the unconscious figure lying beside his big brother was, "Oh no Ryou!"
Realizing the situation, Mokuba quickly ran back into the house to call a doctor, "I'll go call a doctor!" he yelled back, leaving the two alone.
"Ryou." the brunette whispered desperately, seeing that the pale teen was slipping away from life. Immediately, Kaiba settled himself closer to the teen and performed cardiac massages on the pale teen's chest, praying that the teen would pull through. He had never been so scared in his whole life…the thought of losing Ryou was too much and Kaiba could've sworn that tears were about to make their way out of his crystal blue eyes.
Ryou… he was losing Ryou…he was losing someone close to him…No…not again, not AGAIN! Kaiba desperately tried to save the youth…Ryou couldn't die now…he was too young, too pure…and innocent…he did nothing wrong…
Scowling in frustration at receiving no reaction from Ryou, Kaiba bent down and connected his lips with Ryou's soft ones, literally breathing life into the other's mouth. Again and again, Kaiba tried, once in a while doing another heart massage then doing mouth-to-mouth, repeating the agonizing process over and over again.
Finally after several failed attempts, Ryou began to cough out water and breathe. The white blond coughed and coughed, gasping for air and turning to his side while placing a hand over his heart. Kaiba felt his heart flutter; Ryou was alive!
The white blond gradually began to stop gasping and started breathing normally, steadying his pace as he clutched at his own chest. Closing his eyes and drifting, the pale boy fell asleep but not before catching a glimpse of his rescuer looking down at him, those blue eyes showing relief.
Mokuba came back carrying a bundle of towels to provide warmth for his brother and Ryou. Kaiba draped a towel over Ryou's form then draped one on for himself before carrying the pale teen in his arms bridal style and going inside the mansion.
Kaiba…was stunned with Ryou's little stunt. Ryou…truly loved him and had no intention of hurting him…so why was he still pushing Ryou away?
Ryou…drowned himself…to a point that would have led to death…this was no petty crush or tinge of infatuation.
This was Love.
This was…Kaiba's worst fear.
It was cold…It was heart-wrenching…
Not being able to think straight, not being able to breathe…
Drowning and thinking about nothing BUT Kaiba…
It hurt…a lot…
Death was nothing compared to this confusion and…longing.
Ryou stirred in his slumber then slowly came to consciousness; he was back in his bedroom at the Kaiba mansion, tucked comfortably in bed with a sleeping Mokuba sitting in a chair by his bed. This was a nice gesture but Ryou would've preferred waking up to find Kaiba in that chair. He got up and found that he was not wearing the clothes he had been in; instead he was in another pair of pajamas which were cream colored.
His hair wasn't damp anymore…he didn't feel cold…in fact he felt nicely warm and nurtured…yet he was ashamed.
Trying to drown himself in a pool…what was he thinking? He was stupid for trying to do such a thing, for tainting Kaiba's home by embedding such a bad memory to that place.
But…he saw the mask come off…he saw Kaiba, the true Kaiba…Seto… whose eyes showed worry and relief…
Kaiba…where was Kaiba anyway?
Ryou crept quietly out of his room to avoid awakening Mokuba, and down the stairs once more he made his way to the living room, avoiding the sight of the pool area outside. It wasn't dark anymore and vague beams of light illuminated the interiors of the mansion…the sky outside was lit but not too much so, indicating that it was still very early in the morning. A shining star could still be seen in the sky, together with the disappearing image of the moon and at a far off corner the rising sun could be seen.
"You were only asleep for a few hours, the doctor said you'll be fine." Came Kaiba's voice from the shadows on the sofa. He was sitting there with a blank expression, his gaze seemed saddened yet at the same time guarded and angry, "That was…a stupid thing to do, Ryou…drowning yourself in my pool…"
"Were you worried?" Ryou replied…a tinge of hopefulness in his voice. Kaiba…just let it out…please…
The conversation made no sense…this was all just a cycle, a way to escape for a while…but that couldn't be done so. Kaiba kept silent…he didn't need to speak…he didn't have to. He was stubborn.
"Seto…I-I" the white blond spoke softly, his voice quivering and faulty.
"All my life…I had to learn to be lonely…to be my own companion…then you came…" the CEO started.
Ryou took a step forward…but just a step…he didn't dare to go any further, "Why can't you at least let someone try to reach you and be your friend?" he asked softly.
"There's no need for me to answer to you!" the brunette snarled all of a sudden, making his classmate flinch and back away, "I've made it to the top without anyone's help, I'm the most powerful authoritative figure in our school, I own and run my own company, I can have everything money can buy…what makes you think that I should start opening up to people and make friends!"
"Seto…"
"It's Kaiba…Everything was perfect the way they were." The brunette stated coldly.
"You need someone to-" Ryou started but was immediately cut off.
"All I need is Mokuba…Mokuba and no one else…" the brunette calmed down, talking in his stoic manner, "I don't need your compassion or anyone's compassion for that matter…you'll only pull me down like the rest of them…"
"Please…just let me in-"
"What do you know about me? What makes you think that I want to be helped? To be given the chance to be normal and happy like those imbeciles you call your 'friends'…All I need is Mokuba and my computers…that's all there is to need" Kaiba spoke the latter in a low tone…almost as if it was a whisper.
The white blond was shocked at his classmate's answer…it sounded so inhumane…all he needed was his brother and his computers? "Tell me…are you proud of your loneliness?" Ryou asked in all seriousness.
"Why must you ask such a stupid question?"
"And why must YOU reply with such an incompetent answer? Now answer me Seto…Please." Ryou begged softly, "…Are you happy with the way you are? Lonely?" he questioned one more time, hoping that in some way he could make his stoic classmate open up.
After a moment of deep thought, Kaiba answered calmly, "…Yes."
"Don't lie to me…no one can be truly happy being alone." Spoke the white blond, "you may be able to handle being lonely, you may even THINK you're contented but…I-I know that you long for someone to be with you, someone to talk to about your thoughts and problems…isn't that the reason you care for Mokuba? Because you do need to interact with someone?" the pale teen tried to reason.
"He's my brother." Kaiba answered simply.
"And you CARE for him" Ryou pointed out, "…that proves that you are like any other person who does long for someone to be by their side, that you do have compassion and love to give…admit it Seto Kaiba." He paused and put up a serious façade, "You're just like everyone else and you know it…you want to have a friend."
A nerve was struck, the brunette scowled in anger, "NONSENSE! I don't need a friend…a friend is merely a person who either benefits from the other like a parasite or is the one being benefited from like a host…nothing more!" He spoke with venom trailing each word, "You don't know what you're talking about."
"No, YOU'RE the one who doesn't know!" the usually quiet and soft-spoken teen retorted angrily with a shout, which surprised Kaiba; the brunette had never seen his classmate like this… for once being loud and convincing.
After a moment of silence, the taller of the two spoke, "I don't need friends…they're a waste of my time…they'll only associate with me to get what they want then they'll leave me…it's as simple as that…I'm better off working with computers than with people." The brunette stated calmly and without emotion…just calmly and stoically as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"How can you say that? Do you know how insane that sounds?" the pale teen replied softly, having calmed down a bit from his momentary outburst, "Friendship…I know that we all have different views on that subject; Tea thinks too highly of it seeing as she mostly thinks that friendship is simply being happy and gleeful with the company of people you love and stuff like that…but believe me when I say this…" a pause… "You're not the only one who's alone…because I am too."
Kaiba was about to retort but was cut off by his classmate, "I know that I may seem to be a member of Yugi's group but…truth be told, I'm just an invisible disposable mascot…a faceless by-stander who doesn't matter that much to the team…even if I'm with them in their parties and games and duels…I still feel alone." Ryou spoke sadly, grieving at his non-existent social status.
"Do you think that people saw me before this KaibaCorp competition started? Do you think that I always exist to everyone else? I know that I'm not an expert on friendship and all that but I at least know enough about it to know that…I actually need friends…and so do you." the white blond spoke, "Which is exactly the reason why I'm so happy when Yugi and the others notice me and why I'm so sad when they don't…don't you see? I'm just as alone in this world as you are…I know how it feels to be out of place."
"You don't understand."
"What's NOT to understand? The truth is evident to me; you're afraid of being left alone by people you decide to trust which is exactly the reason why you trust no one…you're afraid of getting hurt by friendship itself." Ryou concluded sadly, knowing first-hand how Kaiba must feel every single day he goes to work…
To work and see the faces of people who respect you but don't truly know you…to be trapped in a drone of daily routines…being someone calculated and cold as expected by the outside world…being an individual who can't and won't risk saying a friendly 'hello' to anyone in fear of developing a familiarity that would soon lead to pain…
That's Seto Kaiba's life…a never-ending cycle of avoiding people…a never-ending cycle of driving everyone away…a never-ending cycle of being alone.
"While I on the other hand long for friendship but can never keep it within my grasp for too long-" the pale teen added, "-you don't want to risk getting hurt…but in life we DO need to take risks…don't you see? If you're so smart how can you NOT see that risks have to be taken?"
For once…Kaiba couldn't think of a suitable come back…Ryou was right…risks were to be taken, that was simply a natural part of life…did that mean that Kaiba was a coward for taking the easy and safe route instead of taking that bumpy road of adventure and fun? Was he really weak when it came to taking risks?
Stoic and cold as ever, Kaiba replied, "Go drown yourself Bakura." He said simply, an angry expression plastered on his face.
Deep inside…he knew Ryou was right and he was wrong…
But he couldn't take all this…these emotions, he wasn't used to them…he wasn't used to longing for another's touch and presence…
He wasn't used to feeling Love.
Necro: I had writer's block while making this but I hope it turned out ok. I actually made a first version of this and altered it and this is it. The original sucked and was way too short…I just hope this one's better and sufficient for you guys.
Just because I made all that stuff about friendship doesn't mean I'm TEA! Or that I've turned Ryou into a Tea-drone… (shivers in fear)
Please feel free to submit your comments, I'll read them, you can be sure of that…just please no flaming.
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