Red River Blue
Chapter 14
Merle lay in his bunk, thinking about the conversation he had with that sleezy prick Rick. Rick the prick, it had a nice ring to it. That asshole still liked to pretend he was a cop. But he was no different from the governor. It made Merle sick, what that so-called cop asked him to do. Not only because the plan was stupid and was probably going to get them all killed. Any fool with half a brain could see Phillip Blake was just trying to draw out their best fighters so he could pick them off. But because turning Michonne over to the governor was the worst thing Merle had ever been asked to do. Worse than anything he had seen during his two tours overseas. And he had seen a lot of horrible shit. Things that still woke him up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night.
It was the second tour that got to him. Riding in those caravans. The enemy would send little children running up with bombs strapped to their chests. The men in his unit would throw out handfuls of candy so the children would run off in the other direction and blow up away from the armoured trucks and jeeps. In his dreams, each one of them had his daughter's face.
When he came back, even loud noises made him jump. Merle had taken to the bottle to try and sleep at night. When that stopped working, he started in on the drugs. And all that had done for him was destroy his family. River stuck with him longer than any other woman in her right mind would have. All the horrible things he did to her, and she just kept on loving him. But in the end he had drove even her away.
One morning he woke up to a house that looked like a tornado had gone off inside of it. There were holes in the walls and his knuckles were bruised. All Harley's little girl things were gone. And most of River's clothes. Merle couldn't even remember what happened. Daryl had to tell him what he had done. You smacked Harley man, and knocked River around so bad she can't see out of one eye. She said she ain't comin' back. And don't ask me where she went Merle, 'cause I ain't gone tell ya. He could still feel it now. As fresh as if it happened just that moring instead of more than ten years ago. The shame he felt when he realized that he got so out of control that River had to call Daryl to come and get her. The shame of becoming what he swore on his life he would never become.
River still took him back after that. Given him another chance. She had gotten pregnant with Wren and he could remember how happy she was. Cooking him and little Harley eggs for breakfast even though the smell of them was making her sick. Then she had caught him cheating on her. He had gone out and slept with some skanky whore. At the time he had justified it by telling himself he was sparing his pregnant wife by not burdening her with his sexual needs. That or some similar load of bullshit. That slut had given him the clap and he gave it to River. She had gone to her baby doctor, thinking whatever was going on with her was pregnancy related.
The doctor told her she had an STD. That fucking bastard of a doctor lectured River about how she shouldn't be sleeping around while she was pregnant. Made her feel like a no good whore. That was pretty much the end of that. She had kicked Merle's ass out and refused to let him come back. He went out and got himself pinched up after that. Fighting in a bar. When the cops arrested him they found the drugs he had on him. While River was in the hospital giving birth to his daugter, Merle was sitting in a jail cell. Pretty much the same as the one he was sitting in now. He might find it ironic if it wasn't so sad and pitiful.
From his bunk, Merle heard a soft shuffle step pass by, accompanied by the sound of someone humming. He almost ignored it, thinking it was Carol or the little blonde girl walking Rick's brat around. But then he recognized the tune. It was not a song either of those women would know. Because it was River's song. The one she made up to sing to Harley when she was a baby.
During his first tour, River sent him a care package. All the things he liked were inside. Beef jerky and chocolate chip oatmeal cookies and his brand of deodorant. But no letter. Just a picture of River holding Harley. They were looking at each other's faces and smiling. Harley had been such a cute little stinker too. All gummy smiles and wild curly hair that was so blonde it was almost white. On the back of the picture River wrote the words to the song.
He's coming home soon
This tours almost through
I promise he'll try to spend more time with you
You say Daddy come home
You'll just have to wait
I hope when he gets here that it won't be too late
He carried that picture in his pocket until it fell apart and the words faded away to nothing. No girl had ever written him a poem before. And he had never gotten another one since. Not even from River. He always liked that the poem was a little sad. It wasn't all love and sunshine and bullshit butterflies, it was honest. Not that he didn't want his girls to be happy, but it made him feel good to know they were missing him.
Merle swung his legs down from his bunk and shifted his weight so he could see out the crack between the sheet had had hung up and the cement wall. River had the baby propped up so her little bald head was cuddled into the crook of her neck. As she sang she rubbed the child's back. She hummed the parts of the song she couldn't remember the words to, and sang the rest in a soft soothing voice. River never had much of a singing voice, but it always calmed the girls and put them to sleep when they were fussy. The same as it was doing now for little Judith.
He knew he ought to stay on his bunk. The last thing he needed around this place was more trouble. But the soft way River was humming was like a siren song. Merle was on his feet heading out of his cell before he had a chance to think things through. River heard his heavy tread behind her and turned, stopping her song. He rubbed his hand softly up her back, then down again, resting it on her hip.
"Don't stop," he said. River bit at her bottom lip and looked down, the color rising in her cheeks. Her eyes flicked back up to his. This was so embarrassing. She hated singing in front of people. Her voice was bad and she didn't even remember all the words to the song. She shook her head.
Merle's hand slid around her hip, his thumb ghosting against the sliver of exposed skin where her tank top had ridden up. He rested it in the center of her lower back and pulled her closer, like they were dancing with the baby snuggled in between them. She closed her eyes when the rough skin of his cheek touched hers. And in that moment, she was back in her mom's crummy little trailer and he was home on leave visiting her. The baby in her arms was Harley. They swayed together a moment to music that no one else could hear. Then she said the exact same thing she had said to him that night all those years ago.
"Let me put her down before you take me to bed."
River turned and headed back into Beth's room, where the crib was set up. She lowered the sleeping baby down carefully and covered her with a light blanket. River kissed the tips of her fingers and pressed the kiss to the little girl's round baby soft cheek. Then she stood up and crept quietly back out of the cell.
Merle was waiting in the doorway of his own cell. Leaning against the bars and looking uneasy, like he wasn't sure if she was going to come back. Like she might have come to her senses while she was putting the baby to bed. She glided towards him, not stopping until her body was pressed against his. When he dipped his head down to kiss her she pulled back, pressing the tip of her finger to his lips to stop him.
"Don't get me pregnant," she whispered. She didn't want any more kids. And she certainly didn't want to be pregnant with one in the middle of the apocolypse. He nodded his head and wrapped his good arm around her waist, pulling her into his cell.
Aside from him being short one right hand, they knew each other's bodies well. It had been a long time, but he still knew how she liked to be kissed. With a lot of tounge and his hand fisted into her hair. And she remembered what he liked. For her to wrap her arms around his neck while he buried his face in her clevage. He pulled back and started fighting with the straps that held his arm piece on. By the time he got the damn thing off, River was naked and lying on his bunk, her knees slightly bent and her arms stretched out above her head. She let her one knee drop, her legs falling open to reveal the delicate folds of flesh between them that were already glistening with moisture.
"Fuckin' hell," Merle swore, trying to yank his shirt and pants off at the same time and doing a piss poor job of it since he only had one good hand. River leaned up and helped him with his belt before moving down to unlace his boots, wondering while she did it why in the hell a one handed man was wearing a belt and lace up boots in the first place. Merle managed to get his own shirt off. But that time River had a firm grip on his erection, sliding her hand up and down his hard length. She didn't take it into her mouth, instead she leaned forward and pressed a gentle teasing kiss to the tip of it, smiling up at him when she pulled away.
That was about the limit of teasing that he could take. Merle pounced on her, making her squeal before she could clamp her hand over her own mouth. He nestled himself between her legs, wanting his mouth on every part of her at once. She had great tits. They were always nice but they got a lot bigger after she had Harley and never shrunk back. They were full and soft and tasted like heaven in his mouth. He licked and sucked on her nipples until he felt her hips rocking under the weight of his body. Then she was grabbing at him, pulling him up so their hips and mouths were lined up.
"Kiss me," she said. Not like a demand. River never demanded anything during sex. She only begged. Please kiss me. Her hand snaked between them, lining up the head of his throbbing erection with her slick opening. He entered her with his tounge and his dick at the same time. She was kissing him back, her hand on the back of his neck. And then she was arching her back, moaning as he pushed his full length inside her. He had to hold still for a moment, pressing his weight down on her hips to keep her from bucking up into him.
"Shhhh," he told her. "You are going to have this whole place up and thinking theres a pack of fuckin' biters in here if you keep that up," he warned. The noises she was making were fucking hot, but she was being way too loud. If she woke the girls up and they came tromping in here, sexy time was going to be over before it got started.
"Sorry," she hissed, "ohmygod it feels so good I can't help it. Sorry." She couldn't even remember the last time she had been laid proper. Or since she had even had sex at all. It had been years. More than she wanted to admit. She had her job and her girls to keep her busy. No time to date even if she found someone she liked, which she never did.
'Put yer hand over yer mouth," he whispered. River nodded and did as she was told, putting the knuckle of her thumb in her mouth and biting at it to keep from crying out. Merle buried his face into her neck and lifted his weight up onto his elbows. Then he started moving. Slow at first, but then faster once he caught the rhythm in her hips. He didn't want to stop, so he tried thinking about anything besides what he was doing and the tight grip of her insides wrapped around him and how she got tighter and wetter every time she pumped her hips up into him. Once he felt her shudder around him he came undone. A few more hard pumps and he was yanking out of her to spill himself between her ass cheeks.
He flopped down on the small mattress next to her and she rolled into him, clamping her legs around his thigh and riding out the rest of her orgasm. She nuzzled into him after that, resting her head on his chest and wiggling around until she found the spot she liked. Her sweet spot. Merle reached up, nabbing the blanket that was hanging off the top bunk and pulling it down to cover them both before the heat from their lovemaking left their bodies.
"Love you baby," he told her, daring to say the words that had been unspoken between them for so long. A pregnant pause hung in the air as he waited to see if she was going to say it back. For a moment, he thought she was going to leave him hanging. But then she tilted her head back to kiss the line of his jaw.
"I love you too," she said in a sleepy soft contented voice, "and I want a new ring. I flushed my other one down the toilet."
"I thought you through it out the car window while ya were drivin'?," he asked.
"That was the first one," she reminded him, "you bought me that other one once I got pregnant with Wrennie. That's the one I flushed." She felt his chest move with the soft shudder of his silent laughter. He kissed the top of her head.
"Whatever you want," he promised, "I'll get it for ya." That made River giggle. She threw one leg over Merle's hips and fell asleep trying to think of something she wanted that she didn't already have.
** This chapter contained lyrics from the song letter to my daughters, by Uncle Kracker. I'm terrible at writing songs and poems so I have to beg, borrow, or steal. I didn't quote the song exactly but it was close enough I thought I should give credit. Thanks to anyone that took the time to leave a review. **