Hey all! This might be the only chapter I post this week, I'm trying to get the next one done. Things over the next few days will be settled down once again giving me a bit more time to write. I will see you at the end with a bit more to say about this chapter.
Enjoy!
"I'm still giving you a chance to back out of this," Wade told her, meeting her outside the practice. He didn't want her to go because she thought it's something she needed to do. He wants her to go because she wants to. Honestly, as nice as it will be to have a small buffer with Zoe there, he doesn't feel the greatest about adding Zoe into the mess he's created with his family. He even thought about telling Zoe not to bother, but the one thing about Zoe that hasn't changed is someone making a decision for her, and he won't cross her in that way, not when things are on good terms with them.
"Who do you think I am?" Zoe asked, joining him on the sidewalk. "I don't know about you, but I am thoroughly looking forward to going," she shared, walking alongside him. She's been debating with herself all day on if she should go with tonight, or if it would be better to cancel. In the end, she'd rather not stay home being alone. She really is looking forward to seeing Earl and Jesse.
"Tonight?" He questioned. "You happen to be my saving grace," he replied, gently bumping her shoulder with his. "Other nights, just my neighbor that drinks my wine," he teased.
"Excuse you, Wade Kinsella," she lightly huffed, showing a bit of annoyance at him. "I didn't drink all of your wine, it was only half the bottle, and you left it at my place. Keep your facts straight," she stated, a bit of teasing mixed in her with her voice.
"I left it because it would go to waste at my place," he said, stopping at his sleek black pickup. "I like my beer and whiskey," he commented, debating a beat too long if he should open the door for Zoe when she was already climbing in. Zoe having made the choice to his unknown problem.
"Now what am I to drink if I decide the scenery is drab at my place and I want to have a glass of wine on your porch?" She questioned once he joined her in the cab of the pickup.
"My guess would be the wine you bring with you," he smirked. "Okay, last chance to ditch me, and the horrible night ahead," he offered one last time, putting the key in the ignition and turning it over to start.
"How many times do I have to repeat myself?" She asked, buckling her seatbelt. "I have no better offers for the night and I want to see everything first hand," she remarked. "And it might be a good idea to have a doctor on standby with Jesse waiting for you to show," she commented.
"I'm afraid you won't have enough medical supplies," he dryly stated. "And we can't move the practice to be closer," he sighed. If he could skip having his brother there, he could look forward to the night with his dad.
"I can make do with what I have until we can get one or both back to the practice, but honestly, I don't think you or your brother is going to be throwing hands," she told him, believing that she still knew Wade and Jesse to know they wouldn't put their dad through that. To cause more stress on Earl when it wasn't needed.
"I don't know what makes you think that," Wade commented, turning down a road he's only ever been down way back in high school. Earl moved from the home he grew up in after Jackie's death, finding it too hard to deal with all the memories surrounding him in the house. Jesse, being the one to live there now. Earl moved to a small cabin away from everyone, the solitude bringing him help in finding the peace he needed to heal from losing the love of his life. "What, I think, is that you had a few extra patients that drove you crazy at work today," he stated.
"There are always a few that drive me crazy," she shared, taking a deep breath. "But that's not why I think that there won't be any violence between you and your brother," she said. "I think that because you want to avoid ruining the night or feel like you're disappointing your dad any further by getting into a fist fight with Jesse, just like he won't do the same. Now, I do believe that if things don't get better when it comes to Jesse. That at some point down the line when you two see each other, anywhere other than at your dad's place, you'll both be coming to the practice needing patched up," she told him in complete honesty.
"It amazes me," he stated, slowing down, seeing the turn for his dad's place. Zoe turned to look at him, wondering what he could be going on about. She raised an eyebrow at him, when they came to a complete stop on the road. "That we haven't seen each other in over a decade and yet, you know me like we never stopped being best friends or stopped all forms of communication," he said, with a pang of sadness.
"Life happens, and we all lose each other. I am happy that we get the chance to know each other all over again after growing up and becoming the people that we have become; but you're still that little boy who tried to befriend me when I didn't want to start my life in Bluebell; you're still that little boy that thought the worst of his dad to protect his mom. Through everything bad that you have seen, I can still see that little boy who is hidden beneath it all. And with as long as we've been friends, there are parts of you that I can still read, just like you can me," she told him, her emotions of missing him and being happy all mixed in her tone, leaving her words spoken softly.
"You are right about that," he sighed, nodding his head. "There are parts of you that I can still read easily with the time spent apart," he shared.
Zoe, having nothing else to say upon that, remained quiet, seeing that Wade needed a few minutes before moving from where he parked on the side of the road. She's not going to rush him into something that's been waging war in his head. He needs a few minutes to calm his mind down. It doesn't matter to her if he decides to keep driving or if he decides that, yes, he's ready to face his dad and brother.
"Wade," she whispered, placing her hand on his arm. Wade turned to look at her from where he had his forehead resting on the steering wheel. "The choice on what we do is up to you. I will be here if you decide you're ready to face a family dinner, or if you're not ready. The start of this adventure is totally up to you. I am just here for the ride," she assured him.
"We haven't had a full on adventure since we were teens," he laughed, his nerves calming down. As much as he wants to see his dad, he's just not in that place to force it upon himself. When he's ready to talk things through with his dad and not have Jesse there to give him disapproving looks with his apologies towards his dad. Wade needs a bit more time before he can hash things out with Jesse. "You really mean that you're with me with what I've decided to do?" He asked. He has to make sure that they are on the same page here.
"I am," she nodded. "It's been awhile since we've had a real Zade adventure," she smiled.
"Zade?" Wade questioned with a chuckle, pulling back onto the road. He has no idea where he's going to drive them too. But like Zoe had said, it's been awhile since they've had a real adventure together.
"Where are we headed?" Zoe asked instead of explaining the nickname to him. With the look on his face, she figures he got the meaning behind it anyway and there isn't much need to explain where it came from.
"What's the point of a real adventure, if we don't let the road lead us?" He asked back.
"There's the spirit of adventure we've been missing," she laughed, drumming her fingers on her thigh.
Driving along the back roads, they rolled the windows down, and the radio up. Their laughter rang out over the radio. As much fun as they were having, it all came to a stop when one of the hit songs he had written and performed so many times came on the radio. Watching his reaction, she flipped the radio off. Watching his death grip on the steering wheel loosen with the silence of the night fill the cab. The song that had put a damper on their fun had been a beautiful, haunting song of lost lovers. It had always been her favorite song of his. Spoke to her in ways no other song has.
"Thanks," he told her, getting his thoughts under control. He doesn't have a reaction to any of his other songs that still get airtime. Heck, most of the time it will bring a ghost of a smile to his face.
Every song he wrote was personal to him. Every word held a special meaning behind it. It's hard to enjoy a song when it is about the person sitting next to you. The song in question, he had never thought it would be anything more than his ramblings on his first overseas tour. It was the feelings he wished he would have been able to work up to tell her, the feelings he wished could have been out in the open between them. After all these years that kept them apart, his love for the woman sitting next to him hasn't gone anywhere. He's tried to forget about it because he didn't think anything would come out of it with the paths they were on. Yet here they sit in silence as they drive back roads away from Bluebell.
"That song," he started to say, stopping Zoe from turning the radio on. Enough time has gone by for it to be a few songs after his old tune. Confessing his feelings about that song, and what it all meant, as he drove might not be the smartest choice he could ever make. And maybe he shouldn't make that confession, but what good would it do to take it to the grave with him one day?
Zoe remained quiet, pulling her hand back to her lap. The silence that enveloped them was starting to be too much, and she needed something to break it up. And then Wade went and said two words and shut down once more. She thought he was about to tell her the meaning behind the song. The first time she heard it she was dead on her feet, but she could hear the tears in his words as he sang them, the hollowness she felt it wrapped in each word sung. The first time she heard the song, she thought she was delusional, thinking he sang about his love for her. After all, it is how she felt about him. She stopped believing there would be a big grand gesture of love between them the more time that passed by.
"I can't, not with that song," he said, trying again to make it all make sense to himself and for Zoe's sake. It has the potential to change everything between them.
Resting the urge to once more rest her hand on his arm, she tells him, "Wade, you don't have to explain. We have ghosts in our pasts, and we have time to work through things at our pace."
"We can't build a friendship based on lies, Zoe," he whispered, turning to look at her. The sun long ago setting, the light from the moon the only light they have, and maybe it's better that way. This way he can't see the emotions playing across her face the way he can in the daytime.
"What lies are you talking about?" She asked, her mind going numb with the questions that ran rapidly through. Never once has she thought the worst in the man before her, and she doesn't want to start now.
"That the song is about you, about the love I felt for you when we were teens. How I hated that you were dating Graham. You could never know how excited I was when I was told that Graham broke up with you the day of Prom and I could swoop in and save the day. How that was the single best kiss of my life. I can be friends with you, I want that more than anything, but you need to know that my love for you came back full force, more so upon meeting Sofia. I know it's all sorts of complicated, but it's only right that you know," he confessed.
"Wade," she said, swallowing the emotions that wanted to bubble over. She shook her head, making her escape from the pickup, the space of the cab closing in on her. She doesn't know what she's supposed to say. She knows her feelings, but she's not sure of anything. Wade was right when he said it was complicated.
Don't be mad that I left it off at such a weird place for a cliffhanger, it's been a while since I've had a good one and I took it. Now this chapter wasn't supposed to go this way. The dinner with Earl and Jesse should have happened but it felt too forced to go that route and this is what came out as I'm letting the story tell itself in many ways.
Have a good day.