Work on Tuesday is absolute hell. I have to lecture my students on their behavior according to Medda's substitute notes – it takes a lot to piss Medda off, so when you get a note from her saying your class was "ill-behaved and insubordinate," you know it was bad. I thank God for every second of my free period, even if I am using it to work.

I'm also avoiding Caroline at all costs – which is pretty easy, considering she's still pretty pissed at me for last night's baby meltdown. The only eye contact she makes with me is to give me the Death Glare. I feel like a coward, and I'm probably right for feeling so, but it's so hard to face her.

The thing that's making work the most difficult is that I can't get the weekend out of my head. I keep replaying the events in my head, over and over and over. I keep seeing Spot's face. Hearing his voice. Smelling him. Feeling him.

This is not okay.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

My mopey train of thought is interrupted by the sharp ring of my cell phone, and I nearly jolt out of my chair.

"Hello?"

"Racetrack?"

I clear my throat. "Um, yeah."

"Hey, it's Spot. Uh, did you call me yesterday?"

"Um, I... I don't think so, why?"

I can almost hear Spot rolling his eyes. "Race. I know you and I didn't talk for like, twelve years, but I haven't been afflicted with mental retardation in that time." He sighs. "You're freaking out about this weekend, aren't you?"

"Well, I... Yeah. Kinda." I scratch my head. "Okay, kind of a lot."

"I knew you would be." I hear a sound in the background that sounds like some sort of liquid being poured into a glass, and I hear Spot swallow. "You tell your wife?"

I sigh. "No... thing is, I don't really know if I'm going to tell Caroline."

Spot makes a little "mm-hmm" noise of agreement. "Well, I suppose that'll make it easier if it happens again."

I choke a little bit. "Excuse me?"

"You know, if you don't tell your wife about it, it'll be better for all parties involved if..."

"Who the hell said it was happening again?"

Spot chuckles. "I'm not saying it will. I'm just saying, you know, we're gonna see each other again and sometimes things just happen."

"Spot, I don't--" There's a quiet knock at my door. "I gotta go. There's a student or somebody outside my door who wants to talk to me. I guess I'll have to talk to you later."

"Promise?" There's something so endearing about the way he says that – a little helpless sort of quality that's so completely unlike the unshakable Spot Conlon I used to know way back in high school, and it makes something in my chest tighten. I can't help but sigh.

"Yeah. Promise. Bye." I hang up and set my phone on the desk. "Come in."

The door opens and Caroline comes in. "Hey. Are you awfully busy right now? Can we talk? I mean, I know it's your free period and everything..."

"Hi, Caro. Um, no, I'm not busy... why, what's up?" I'm trying hard to suppress the fear that's creeping up in my chest. In this attempt I work up the fakest smile I've ever smiled in my life. Hi, my name is Anthony Higgins, and I'm a liar and a cheat.

"I just wanted to let you know that I won't be coming right home after work. I scheduled a doctor's appointment for three-thirty, so I'll be going straight there." She shrugs and then straightens her skirt nervously.

"Okay. Um... do you want me to go with you? I guess I could call the daycare and say we're going to be a little late picking up Junior and Maria..."

She actually smiles a little. "Thanks. But no, that's okay. I can make it by myself, I think. Besides, the kids need to be picked up on time. It throws them off, especially Maria, if we come at different times than we normally do." She pushes her hair out of her face, another nervous habit of hers, and heads for the door. "So I'll see you tonight... um, could you start dinner?"

"Yeah, absolutely." I nod and she steps out the door. I turn back to the apology letters to Medda I'm reading over.

"Hey, Tony?" Caroline slips back into the room.

"Yeah."

"Are we okay?"

I turn around in my chair and look at her, at her sad eyes and the lower lip she's biting in uncertainty. After sitting and staring at my wife a moment, I nod. "Of course."

Caroline smiles and leans down to kiss me. I kiss her back, awkward though it may be.

"Eww, get a room!" A call sounds from the classroom outside my office, as my students start filing in for the next period.

"We are in a room!" I shoot back, and then smile at Caroline. "I'll see you whenever you get home?"

"Yeah." She smiles and walks out.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Where's Mama?" Junior stares disdainfully at the snack I've made him of apple slices and peanut butter, as he usually receives his afternoon snack from Caroline.

"She's at the doctor." I screw the lid back on the peanut butter jar and shove it back in the cupboard.

"Is she sick?" He pushes the apples around his plate and Maria, at the mere insinuation that her mother is sick, bursts into tears.

"No, Junior, she's not sick, and don't scare your sister like that. Mama's just going in for a check-up, you know, like you guys do every now and then?" I sit down at the kitchen table across from my kids. They stare at me blankly. Apparently this is a difficult concept to grasp. "You know, when you go to the place and you sit on the cold table that's all covered in paper and the man in the white coat pokes and you and shines lights in your eyes, and at the end of it all you get a sticker and a lollipop?"

"Oh!" Maria grins and nods in understanding.

"Does Mama get a sticker and a lollipop?" Funny that this is what Junior is most concerned about.

"Well, I'm sure that if things turn out the way I think they might, she'll get lots and lots of lollipops."

"What?" Junior blinks at me.

"Eat your apples."

My phone starts vibrating in my pocket. I pull it out and look at the caller ID. It's Spot. As much as I want to, I don't answer.