Alternate Life, or Real Life?

Disclaimer: as per chapter 1

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CHAPTER 16

Sam stood watching the children playing in the park, the sun shone brightly in a cloudless sky everything seemed to be perfect, too perfect but oblivious to the strangeness he kept watching the children and smiling to himself.

'Daddy.' A little girl with deep brown eyes and soft blond curls came running up to Sam with her hands out for him to pick her up, 'Daddy.'

'Here Poss, where's your brother?'

'He's playing with those boys.' She pointed a chubby finger at her twin brother playing in the sand. A gentle hand rested on his shoulder glancing back he smiled up at Jessica as she met them after work.

'Hey Sweetheart.' She kissed him lightly and took their daughter from him. 'Where's Johnny?'

'Playing in the dirt Mama.'

'Hey Deanna how's my big girl?'

'Hungry.' The three year old grinned as she jumped on her father's knee, 'can I have ice cream?'

'You are too much like you uncle Poss, how about dinner first and then some ice cream?'

'Pizza?' Deanna asked pouting prettily, 'I want pizza for dinner.'

'And for lunch and for breakfast.' Sam laughed, 'I am gonna have to talk to that brother of mine about what he says in front of the kids.'

'Somehow I think that it's too late,' Jess laughed and took their daughter from Sam, 'Honey do you want to get your son before he starts attracting a crowd?'

'Yeah I think I had better.' Sam grinned as he watched his son levitate his toy truck in the air.

Sam stood and went over to the sandpit, when he suddenly gasped in pain and held his head, his fingers squeezing each side as though he tried to squeeze out the pain. Blood dripped from his nose and ears as the pressure in his head increased, then the sky darkened, flames started to grow and eat their way towards the park, destroying everything in their path. Spinning around he saw Jess and the twins standing in the centre of a circle of fire.

'Save us Sam.' Jess called, 'why can't you save us?'

'Jess. No! Jess.' Sam screamed and tried to break through the ring of fire but the intense heat forced him back. Horrified as he watched the flames lick at his family's feet, until within moments the flames engulfed the three of them although, instead of screaming in pain and fear they laughed at him, berated him for his inability to help them and let him know it was his fault. Then the vision changed again and Sam found himself standing on a crumbling cliff's edge, the ocean roared and crashed onto the rocks below and behind him, a crowd converged on him, all carrying rocks or brandishing wooden clubs. Dean, his father, their mother Mary and Jess all were at the front of the group, 'it's your fault Sam; you have to die to bring them back. Die Sam die.' They chanted in monotoned voices, as they grew closer to him.

'No, no what are you saying? Dad? Dean? Mum and Jess are dead this isn't real.'

'We're all dead Sam.' Dean said as he hefted his weapon higher aiming at Sam's head, 'we're all dead and it's your fault, you were the one chosen and you wouldn't accept that. Your fault Sammy, your fault Sammy, your fault Sammy.'

'No!' Sam screamed as he lost his footing and fell over the cliff, he could feel his senses shut down one by one, he had no thought or feeling, now completely numb and devoid of emotion.

Sam screamed and strained against the leather straps that kept him fixed to the lab table, his veins bulged as his muscles snapped and twisted. His eyes wide and fixed, staring unseeing up at the ceiling, blood streamed from his nose and ears as he watched his own death unfold in front of his eyes. His body shook with the force of his reaction to the implanted vision, and then almost as though he had choreographed the computers and medical equipment started to shake with him.

'Doctor what is this?' Mr Grayson demanded as the utensils and consoles seemed to move of their own volition.

'I assure you Mr Grayson that I have no idea on what is happening.' The doctor stammered and watched Sam closely. 'He is doing it.'

Suddenly a computer monitor launched itself at Grayson's head, he ducked just as it whizzed past him and smashed against the wall, sending shards of plastic and glass spraying across the room.

'Disconnect him you fool.' Grayson yelled wiping a dibble of blood from a tiny cut caused by a shard of plastic embedded in his forehead.

As the doctor approached Sam, a tray hovering just above the gurney took flight and hit the doctor's head, 'what now?'

'Now you step away from my son.' John Winchester said as appeared in the doorway a sawn-off shotgun aimed at the two men, 'move now.'

Dean ran over to his brother ignoring the others, 'Sammy, Sammy come on it's me; wake up Sam, time to wake up.' He gently tapped Sam's cheek, but Sam turned his face to Dean, his eyes still wide and but now glowing with an inner burning rage, he snarled and flicked a finger sending another tray of utensils flying at Dean.

'It was not my fault.' He spat out, 'you can't blame me for your death!'

'Sam, wake up it's me.'

'I know who you are. You're trying to trick me like the others.' Sam snapped as he focused on the last few items still untouched in the room.

'Sam!' Dean yelled and gripped his brother's face in his hands, 'snap out of it.' He forced his brother to look at him and no one or anything else.

'Dean?' Sam whispered, 'you can't blame me for your death, or for dad, or mum or Jess, no more it's not my fault.'

'Sam listen to me Dad and I are still alive, we lost Mum and you lost Jess but the demon is the one to blame not you, not you Sam.'

'You're dead.' Sam sobbed, unable to detach himself from the alternate life of his vision. 'You are all dead.'

'No Sam, I promise Dad and me are alive and kicking!'

'Mum and Jess?'

'They are gone Sam, remember Mum died when you were a baby and Jess died last year.'

'They're dead?'

'Yes, yes but not me, and not Dad. Dad's got the men who took you Sam, it's over, it is all over.'

Sam shook his head free from Dean's grip and dropped back on the pillow, he squeezed his eyes shut and tried to make sense of his jumbled memories and thoughts. Jess, the twins were not real, the fall off the cliff not real ... 'what is real?' He whispered his voice trembling with unshed tears, 'what is real?'

'I'm real Sam.' John said going to his son's side after restraining Grayson and the doctor, 'Dean's real focus on that.'

'Dad?' Sam opened his eyes and stared up at his father, a look of naked fear on his face, 'I'm sorry Dad, I am so sorry.'

'Nothing to be sorry for son.'

'You died?'

'No, no I am here and very much alive.'

'Why am I being punished?' Sam sobbed, now past the point of reason or caring for the pathetic way he sounded.

'No one is punishing you Sam, just focus on my voice.' John's own voice started to shake as he took in his youngest son's fragile mental state, 'what have you bastards done to him?' He growled turning his attention back to Grayson in particular, 'what did you do to him?'

'He has untapped power Winchester, they need to be harnessed and used for the greater good.'

'You have him so confused he doesn't know what is real and what isn't.'

'You saw what he did, look at the carnage and he did it all with his mind.' Grayson's eyes shone with fervour, 'think of the possibilities.'

'Think of what? You have destroyed his perception of reality how can that be productive?'

As the other men argued and his father came closer to dealing out his own justice, Dean worked quietly freeing his sibling from the restraints and then he started working on the tubes and patches connected to him. Finally, he pulled the IV needle out of Sam's hand, stopping anymore of the toxic serum from entering Sam's bloodstream. 'It's okay Sam, just ignore them, and concentrate on my voice.' He spoke just loud enough for Sam to hear, 'that's it Dude just look at me and listen to my voice.'

Sam turned a baleful stare in the direction of Dean's voice, finally the pressure in his head started to ease and he could move his arms and legs. 'You freed me?' He asked confused and wary.

'Yeah Dude you can't lie around for the rest of your life, ' Dean grinned, 'you know get out there and live.'

'Out there?' Sam frowned, 'don't understand.'

'Hey it's okay; it's just the effects of the crap that they were pumping into you.' Dean smiled and pushed Sam's heavy fringe out of his eyes, 'just focus on me Sammy that's all you have to do.'

'It's Sam, not Sammy.' Sam said with a tremulous smile, as his eyes started to grow heavy and he started to drift off into a natural, non-drugged sleep, 'you will be here when I wake up?'

'Not going anywhere Sammy, not going anywhere.'

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Sam opened his eyes and blinked in the bright light, he could smell fresh coffee in front of him, blinking until his blurry sight cleared he looked up at his brother standing with two cups of fresh coffee, not from a machine coffee.

'Dude good to see you alert for a change.' Dean grinned as he carefully put the cups on Sam's trolley table, 'have you checked out your nurses? Maybe I have a fever and need some tender nursing too.'

'Nope hands off.' Sam laughed and pushed himself higher in the bed, 'Dean I can manage.' He said as Dean hurried to help him and to fluff his pillows for him.

'I know.' Dean mumbled, 'anyway Sammy boy lap it up now coz when you get outta here it's back to normal.'

'Ha normal for us sounds pretty good and it is Sam not Sammy.'

'Yeah, yeah whatever Geek-boy.' Dean playfully tussled Sam's long hair, 'you need a haircut you know that.'

'Quit it,' Sam said as he tried to suppress the rising giggles, 'Freak.'

'Bitch.' Dean grinned, grabbing his coffee sitting on the leather chair, he slid down to a comfortable slouch. 'So when can we break you outta here?'

'We?'

'Yeah me and Dad.'

'Dad's still around?'

'Yeah, he had to sort the cops out, looks like the Doc and Grayson are responsible for quite a few missing people.'

'What about Belle?' Sam asked, all laughter gone.

'Sorry Sammy, they found her body ... it seems that her heart just gave out.' Dean avoided his brother's piercing gaze, 'she helped you, when you were dying she brought you back.'

'She was a healer.'

'No, this was after she had died Sam. She looked like an angel.'

'What about Cate?'

'We got her out Sam, she's fine.'

'Speaking of getting out of here.' A young woman's voice interrupted the brothers, looking up they both stared at Cate as she stood at the foot of Sam's bed.

'Cate?' Sam asked, 'you are Cate?'

'The one and only, so Mr Winchester oh I am sorry is it ...'

'Sam is fine.'

'Fine Sam, now would you like to get out of this place?'

'Really?'

'Yes, the papers are almost ready, Doctor Robbins will be in a few minutes to give you a last check over but after that we can send you home.' Cate said brightly, but the guarded look she gave Dean said a lot more. 'So if you need anything just buzz me otherwise if this lug of a brother wants to pack for you, you can start to get ready.'

'Thanks Cate.' Sam said his smile widening, 'I can get outta here, this time for real.' He said looking down at Dean.

'You sure can Geek boy then you can get a haircut.' Dean teased as he watched Cate leave, 'look I'll be right back I just want to make sure that they have rung Dad.'

Dean shut the door and found Cate waiting for him in the hallway, 'Cate what's going on?'

'Sam's test results have come back.' Cate said her voice just loud enough for Dean to hear her.

'And? He's going home what can be that wrong?'

'Doctor Robbins will talk to Sam when she gets here, but I thought ... I wanted to tell you so you and John can be prepared and help Sam with the time ahead.'

'Tell me now Cate.'

'Sam's test results have shown more damage than originally thought.'

'More damage? I don't understand ... I thought that once the serum was out of his system that he would start getting better.'

'Yes, that's what we all thought.'

'Thought what?' John asked as he walked towards Dean and Cate, 'why are the two of you talking out here? Where's Sam?'

'He's in his room Dad.' Dean said although he kept his stare fixed on Cate.

'Ah why don't we go down to the waiting room?' Cate suggested leading the father and son down to the small alcove lined with chairs and racks of dog-eared magazines. 'Look umm I don't want to pre-empt Doctor Robbins, she will be talking with you and Sam at the same time, but I wanted to give you a heads up, to prepare your reactions I guess.'

'Okay you have our attention.' John said, 'what is it Cate?'

'As I was explaining to Dean ... Sam's latest test results came back this morning and have shown more damage than originally thought.' Cate took a breath 'there's no easy way to tell you this.'

'Sam he will be alright won't he?' John asked his smile gone and his eyes reflecting a new spawn of fear.

'Sam was seriously ill for a long time, the serum was toxic to say the least, no one can even isolate all of the ingredients and neither Grayson or the doctor are talking about it. However, they did isolate one active part of it.'

'Spit it out Cate!'

'The serum contained high levels of a radioactive substance.'

'Sam's been exposed to radiation?'

'Look I can't give you all of the details and I shouldn't be telling you this now, it's just that I thought you should be prepared so you can help Sam when he finds out.'

'Go on.' John rasped he could hardly breath as he listened to Cate explain the litany of symptoms. 'He could have, nausea and vomiting, diarrhea, weakness, fatigue, fainting, he could be dehrydrated, experience inflammation, ulcers, easy bruising and bleeding, but we are not sure of the severity of his exposure, especially when it was placed directly into his blood stream.'

'What does it all mean Cate?' John asked unable to look at Dean he concentrated solely on Cate.

'Look here comes Doctor Robbins, she'll explain what will happen next, just remember John, Dean ... Sam has the best medical support now, his exposure has been discovered and well he has a good chance to get through all of this.'

'What aren't you telling us Cate?' Dean growled, 'you tell us that Sam has had radiation put inside him and that he'll have a good chance to get through this? What aren't you telling us?'

'This is why I wanted to prepare you guys first, Doctor Robbins wants to do a bone marrow transplant, and it is Sam's best chance at a full recovery.'

'So why is he being sent home?'

'He still needs to regain some of his strength and to recover a bit more first before she attempts it, the radiation has attacked his immune system, he needs a lot of rest and the doctor will give him some medication to take but ...'

'But what Cate, you've told us this much what else is there?'

'Sam has to be kept quiet, no hunting, no fighting, if he gets any injury he could bleed to death, and that means just a small cut, and very susceptible to infections.'

'We need to know Cate, what else is there?'

'In extreme cases, radiation sickness can cause some cancers.' Cate said as she led the two men back to Sam's room, they could hear Doctor Robbins voice coming from inside. 'She's already talking to him.' Cate muttered disgustedly.

'No!' Sam's plaintive cry echoed throughout the hospital ward, sending both his father and his brother running into his room.

TBC

Author's note: I have done research on radiation sickness and have tried to adhere to the facts as much as possible with just a small amount of writer's licence. If anyone wants to know more just let me know.