Chapter Five

The sky was overcast as they made their way to Sohma house. Fear tore through Momiji, wiping away his fatigue for he had barely slept the night before. After Hatori had left he and Tsuki had clung to each other a long time. When he'd become human again he had wiped away her tears and they had made love desperately and had lain awake holding each other through the blankets without speaking.

Now, as they walked the line of Sohma houses towards the inner sanctum of the Sohma family, they held hands and took slow, steady steps, only faltering when they reached the gate to the "inside". He remembered, years ago, greeting Tohru from atop that gateway, how happiness had filled him then where now there was only dread.

He turned to Tsuki, held her face in his hands. "You don't have to do this. You don't have anything to prove to me. You've already given me so much. I can't ask this of you. I–"

She put a finger to his lips. "I'm not ready to give up on you, Momiji."

"But listen to me. If you come Akito could order Hatori to erase your memories. If you go now we'll always have those."

"I want more than just memories. I want you."

He let out a sigh and leaned his forehead against hers. "So do I." They remained that way for several moments, that slight distance perpetually between them. "But isn't that selfish?" he asked finally.

"It's not, is it, if that's what we both want?"

"Nein, Liebling, nein," he whispered.

And then he took her hand and led her through the gate.

ooo

The screaming was all he could hear. It drowned out the pouring rain and the crack of thunder. He could no longer even make out what he was saying, but even so, every word from Akito's lips lashed at Momiji's heart as he knelt, trembling, at the feet of the head of the Sohma family. Several paces behind him, though Tsuki made not a sound, he knew she must be thinking of her brother, understanding the terror that had driven him out of the Sohma house and to his death. He'd give anything now to spare her this. He should never have allowed her to come. Somewhere behind her was Hatori, witnessing their foolishness, waiting for the order from Akito that would part them forever. Stronger than the pain of Akito's words was the shame of knowing he could do nothing but tremble like a hare in a hunter's clutches.

All at once Akito grabbed Momiji by the hair, pulling his head up till he could look down into his face. "Did you think you could leave me?" Saliva spattered Momiji's face. Akito's breath, warm and sickly sweet, clogged his nostrils. "Answer me!"

But Momiji's tongue was leaded and he could only stare wide-eyed at Akito's pale, livid face, one that might almost have been beautiful.

Akito threw him down and pain shot through his jaw as his face slammed against the wooden floor. He rose to his hands and knees and reached to wipe something warm from his chin. His hand came away smudged with blood.

"Please stop!" When Momiji looked up Tsuki was with him, kneeling on the floor between him and Akito.

"Tsuki, don't," he whispered, but she was staring up at Akito and seemed not to hear him.

"He belongs to me," said Akito, his voice like the dead calm of the eye of a storm. "They all belong to me."

"What?"

"They were born to love me, to bow to me and only me. And if they don't–"

"Is this what you did to Katsuro?" whispered Tsuki.

Akito went rigid. "That– that wasn't supposed to happen."

"But it did," she said, her voice rising. "It's because of you he–"

Akito's hand whipped through the air and connected with Tsuki's face. She cried out and Momiji leaped to her side. Blood was welling up from her lower lip when she looked up at him.Akito's hands, balled into fists, were shaking and Momiji put himself between him and Tsuki. "It wasn't my fault." Momiji thought he discerned a tremor in Akito's voice as he spoke. "It was the curse." Akito's eyes focussed again on Tsuki. "And now you want to take another of them away from me. I won't allow it. Hatori, erase the girl's memory!"

"No! Akito, please–" Momiji's plea was cut off by a sharp blow across the face. Tsuki cried out. "I'm fine," he whispered, reaching over to reassure her when, in reality, he felt as if his whole world were crumbling around him. His limbs were like water, as if all the strength in his body were draining away, leaving him an empty, nerveless vessel of flesh. Across the room he heard Hatori rise.

He reached out to touch Tsuki's face. Her eyes were brimming with tears as she gripped his forearms. "Tsuki," he whispered. "Liebling..."

Hatori's footsteps were crossing the room.

"Momiji..." Tears were streaming down her cheeks.

"I love you," he whispered, forehead pressed against hers.

Hatori's shadow fell over them. Standing, there he looked like an angel of doom.

"It's all right, Tsuki," Momiji whispered. It took all his strength not to howl in pain. "It won't hurt. You'll fall asleep and when you wake up you won't remember any of this."

"I won't remember you!"

"You'll be safe," he said, stroking her face.

"But what about you?"

"I'll... have my memories." He couldn't quite meet her eyes as he said it.

Hatori cleared his throat and Tsuki's hands gripped Momiji's forearms like vices. "Please, Momiji, when I've forgotten come and talk to me again. Be my friend and speak to me in German and play your violin and– and I'll love you again."

Something inside him snapped.

"Do it!" yelled Akito. "Erase her memory."

"No." The word slipped from Momiji's lips. Hatori did not move and with perfect calm Momiji turned to look up at Akito. He thought of Tohru who had always offered Akito kindness. He thought of how he'd been unable to protect her just as with Tsuki. Like all the Sohmas he'd found himself unable to protect the ones he loved. And yet Tsuki was willing to do it all over again, in spite of everything. "No," he said again.

Tsuki was staring at him– they were all staring at him. With a certainty he had never before known in his life, he rose to his feet, and, holding out his hand to Tsuki said, "Let's go."

She appeared confused, but took his hand and followed him out of the room. An anguished howl sounded from behind them as they made their way down the hall and out the door, but Momiji's step never faltered. He waited until they were outside before he began to cry. He was free.

ooo

The rain poured like Momiji's tears as they stood beneath the overhang in front of the main house. It was like the spring day he'd first spoken to Tsuki. A laugh bubbled up from deep inside him at the thought.

Tsuki looked entirely confounded. "Momiji what–" But rather than let her ask, he swept her into an embrace and held her against his chest.

She gasped and he could feel the shock of realization course through her as she stiffened and the stared up at him, eyes wide. Her hand was trembling as she reached out to touch his face. "How?"

He shook his head. "I don't know. I'm just– free!"

Without warning he lifted her off the ground and spun her around, watching her expression change from surprise to delight. The laugh that poured out of her sounded a more joyous note to his ears than the chords of his violin ever could.

He kept her close against him in a tight embrace as he set her down and pressed his lips to hers with a fervency he could barely temper. Now, instead of keeping a hand between them, she wrapped both her arms around him and Momiji thought he might die from the sheer delight of it.

It was only when he tasted a coppery tang on his lips that he drew back. He put his fingers beneath her chin and tilted her face to better inspect the cut in her lip. "I'm fine," she assured him, her tongue darting over her lower lip. "You're still bleeding, though."

"Am I?" Glancing down he could see that his white collar was spattered with blood. Tsuki managed to dig out a wad of tissues from her pockets and handed it to him. He pressed it against the gash. "I guess we'll need to find a regular doctor," he mused. "I've never seen anyone other than Hatori before, but I suppose now..." He glanced over his shoulder at the main house where there would no longer be a place for him.

The gentle pressure of her hand around his wiped away all the uncertainty. Smiling, he caressed her face and leaned close to press a kiss to her brow. He was about to embrace her again when a familiar voice called him name.

"Momiji?" They both turned and there, a few feet away beneath a pink umbrella, shiny with rain, was Tohru.

"Tohru!" he called and waved wildly. It took all of his might to resist the urge to throw his arms around her and show her the gift he'd been granted. She had changed his life, the lives of all the zodiac members and he was certain her influence had played a part in his release. Even so, it was better she not find out just yet. She would be safer that way. He might be free from Akito, but the others were not and thus neither was she.

"Tsuki," he said turning to her, grinning and rocking on his heels, "this is Tohru. Like I told you about– this is her. Tohru, this is my Liebling, my Tsuki."

"Hello," greeted Tohru, smiling, but then, her brow crinkling, "Uh... Liebling?"

"It's a German endearment," explained Tsuki, colouring slightly. "It's nice to meet you. I've heard so much about you."

"Nice to meet you too. Momiji, you didn't tell us you had a girlfriend. But..." She paused, her eyes darting from Tsuki's face to Momiji's bloodied collar. "Are you both okay?"

A smile spread across Momiji's face; he could not have been better. He grasped Tsuki's hand, his fingers intertwining with hers. "We're fine," he assured.

"But you're bleeding. I can go get Hatori–"

"No!" Tohru appeared startled and he forced himself to go one more calmly. "No he's... busy. With Akito."

"Oh. I see. I actually came to see Akito today."

He traded glances with Tsuki. "He might be a bit... upset." Furious. Livid. Enraged.

"It might help him to have someone to talk to," suggested Tohru. "Don't worry," she added, noticing their looks of concern. "Shigure's right behind me."

And sure enough Momiji could see Shigure's figure approaching from down the laneway, his face obscured by his shiny black umbrella.

Glancing sideways he noticed Tsuki was eyeing his chin again, concern obvious on her features. "Momiji."

"I know," he said. "We need to get going," he told Tohru.

"All right, but promise you'll both come visit during the break."

He glanced again at Tsuki and smiled when she nodded. "We will."

"Thank you," added Tsuki.

"It's nothing," said Tohru smiling like a ray of sunshine in the rain.

"No, not just for that. Thank you for everything."

"Yes, thank you," said Momiji quietly. He squeezed Tsuki's hand. Somehow all of this happiness had been made possible by all Tohru had done for the Sohmas; he was certain of it.

"I didn't do anything. Really," protested Tohru, looking abashed. Momiji could only smile. How did you thank someone for giving you the chance to be happy?

"We'll come visit," he assured her.

"Come soon. I'll cook something special."

And with that they stepped out into the rain and walked down the path towards the gate for the final time. Momiji thought he caught a glimpse of a shrewd look on Shigure's face before it dissolved into his usual affableness as they passed each other and he greeted him. But Momiji was too happy to dwell on it.

They were quite wet by the time they'd reached cover from the rain, but he hardly noticed for he felt warmed by the memory of Tsuki's closeness and his heart raced at the thought of holding her again, feeling the warmth of her body seeping into him. But he held back a moment and brushed a wet strand of hair away from her eyes.

"What you said before," he began tentatively. "Would you really–"

"Yes."

His breath caught in his throat, his own words from years ago echoing in his thoughts. I want to live with all my memories. Even if they're sad memories... I want to think that there's no such thing as a memory that's okay to forget.

She took his hands in both of hers. "I want to hold on to my memories– all of them. But more than that I want to hold on to you." And she embraced him.

"Danke schon, Liebling," he sighed.

Soon they would have to dry off and see to their wounds and rest. Already he longed for her, longed to make love to her and erase that distance between them, to finally feel the touch of her skin against his chest, to feel her shudder in his embrace and feel her heart pounding against his own. But for now there was nothing more perfect than holding her and listening to the melody of raindrops.

THE END

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Danke schon: thank-you