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Chapter 13

Memories

Jake

After dinner Leah went straight to Ben's, and Becky came over.

Mom was eager to meet her. I had rolled my eyes in annoyance when she had suggested it, but I knew how wonderful she was. She wouldn't be hovering around us all evening. And that's exactly how it was, too.

I greeted Becky with a long kiss.

She had been embarrassed in front of my mother, but she had quickly realized that there was nothing to be ashamed of.

We had been sitting in the kitchen gabbing over lots of ice cream when Mom very tactfully withdrew and I went out to the patio with Becky. We laid on the bench - Becky leaning back against my chest - as we looked up at the starry sky while we talked and kissed again and again.

"What Native American tribe are you from, by the way?" Becky asked me at one point.

"Quileute. The Reservation is in Washington State."

"No!" she almost screamed, clearly in disbelief, and sat up to look at me properly.

"Why not?" I asked, amazed at her reaction.

She began to laugh.

"My grandma is Quileute. She was pregnant. And unmarried, of course. That's why she skedaddled and moved here."

"So that's why," I whispered to myself. Sam and Billy had said - as far as imprinting was concerned - that it had never happened before with anyone outside our tribe, until now.

"Why what?" she now asked in amazement.

I shook my head.

I doubted I should tell Becky what I was just yet.

"Do you know then the old legends of our people?" I rather evasively asked. Slowly approach the subject, I reasoned.

Her grandma had told her some things, but she had forgotten many others. She knew that wolves played a role, but any connection was no longer clear to her.

So, I told her all of them.

"I wonder if such a wolf exists," she considered afterwards.

"Do you believe the stories?"

"Yes and no ... I can't imagine it. It all seems rather fantastic after all. But on the other hand, ... such stories have to have come from somewhere. I would think it would be pretty cool if these wolves really existed. I don't think I'd really be afraid of one of them," she explained convincingly

I imaged how she would stand in front of me when I was huge monster. She would be afraid!

I chuckled at the idea.

"But if there are the wolves, then there must also be the 'Cold Ones'. Vampires," I clarified. Laughing, of course, I did not want to scare her.

She considered it.

"But the wolves would protect me!" she countered.

You bet I do, Becky.

Becky went home soon after Leah returned.

I discussed with her what exactly we would show Edward tomorrow.

It wouldn't be our own memories, because we wanted him to understand why we hated him, out of all of them, so much. We really didn't care to any degree about his family. The fact that there were vampires in our town - animal-hunting vampires, mind you! - did not bother us. Edward bothered us. And how! After he had tried to get something out of me again during our last class, I indicated that our game of hiding our thougts would be over tomorrow, provided he stayed away from town today.

Mom was already in the car with Peter and on her way to Portland.

She looked enchanting today. She had dressed up for the committee and put on a pretty dark blue dress for a change. And high heeled shoes!

After she flew into my arms from the stairs, she put on sneakers for the journey first.

Before we left the house, I checked how many ice packs were in the freezer for this evening.

For her ankles.

Leah and I were in the school parking lot very early, walking around a tall hedge, shielded from strangers' eyes. We were nervous and I was still fighting with myself. There were a few cars here already and soon the Audi drove into the area.

I knew that he would also come early if he thought he was finally going to get his answers.

He parked in the lot next to our car and immediately saw us behind the hedge. He got out and came right up to us.

We stood in front of each other. Only six feet apart.

"Your mother is my Bella!" began Edward in a cautious tone that appeared indecisive and vulnerable.

I had not expected it. But he appeared polite.

"Yes," I said coldly.

"She's really here!" he whispered, deep in thought, and seemed genuinely to be pleased.

'Pleased' didn't really fit. He seemed to be floating on clouds, even swaying a little. A relaxed peaceful smile settled on his face.

"Why are you telling me this today of all days? Why not on Monday?" he asked excitedly.

"Because she's out of town today. No matter what you intend to do with her, you can't find her!" Leah explained to him hard-heartedly.

"What do you think I'm going plan to do with Bella?" he now asked in shock.

I guess our thoughts startled him. I imagined how he would pounce on our mom and suck her dry.

"Almost kill her a third time? This time finally succeeding," I stared at him in the eyes. That's why we hated him.

Startled, he looked toward us. His eyes widened with fear.

"Kill? ... Third time?" he whispered stunned, buckling and letting himself fall to his knees. "I have ... I never wanted ... she is my life ... I could never hurt Bella!"

"YOU almost had our mother's life on your conscience twice already!" Leah snapped at him spitefully.

"The fact that she's alive today is absolutely no thanks to you! It's bordering on a miracle that we're even alive!" I spat at him. But Edward didn't seem to understand anything. I wasn't sure if he was tricking us or not.

I was concentrating on my thoughts and memories when I casually noticed his sister's Porsche.

Only for a moment I pictured my mom. Today. Laughing, as she stood in our kitchen. Edward's eyes seemed to light up.

I closed my eyes so as not to be distracted by Edward or his siblings, who were scattering around us, indecisive and curious.

I still had a lot to show. Seth had given us many things.

... Sam found my mom in the forest. Frozen through and without any will to live. The months after, when she was a lifeless ghost in a body that functioned only mechanically. The pain in her face with dark shadows under her eyes because she couldn't sleep properly for months. Again and again, she had woken up screaming. Sam had heard it outside her window. How she then turned up at our father's as a shadow of herself. With two motorcycles and only one wish: to hear Edward's voice when she voluntarily exposed herself to danger. Accepting that she could perish as a result.

My dad. How he was able to bring Mom out of her stupor very slowly and she began to live again even more slowly. Many beautiful moments between them. Working on the bikes, drinking cola, walks, searching for a clearing, finding out the truth about the wolves, and so much more. How slowly my mom's trust returned. Trust in life and trust in love. How friendship became affection and affection became love.

Laurent, who happened to run into Mom and completely scared her, but was eliminated by the pack without any problems.

Victoria. Again and again, she entered the wolves territory. Again and again, she evaded them. Since they didn't hide anything from my mom, she feared death a few times. Not for herself, but for the pack. Until Victoria came back with an army of newborns. The pack was mercilessly outnumbered and didn't have the slightest chance to win the fight. Our dad was the only one who noticed the leaders, Victoria and another one, away from the actual action - and on his own stood in their way, as everyone else was busy with the army. Our dad was wounded already, but his will to preserve our mom's life made him completely forget about his own pain. He had only one mission: to save Mom. His love gave him the strength he needed. He destroyed both of them, but he had given a lot for it: his own life. Sam had immediately run to him when the enemy force became manageable and saw our father lying on the ground as a human. Almost every bone in his body was broken, organs severely injured, vampire bites and blood covered almost his entire body. Our accelerated healing was powerless against all that. He lost the last battle against death. 'I love you, Bella!' were his last words. Mom had broken down screaming when they delivered the news to her as gently as they could.

Then followed individual memories of Sam when he had visited Mom when Mom lived with Grandma - or rather - vegetated in front of herself. She no longer spoke and didn't move an inch out of bed. Ate and drank only what was put into her mouth more or less forcibly. As she laid unconscious in the hospital for several days, heavily medicated, she spoke about how she was tired of life. That she didn't want to cause Edward and Jacob any more grief. That her bare existence was yet an irreparable mistake. That she wanted to take her own life so that no one would ever have to suffer through her presence again. That was the best thing for everyone. She had no reason to live anymore. She said goodbye. To Jacob. And to Edward.

Tears streamed down my cheeks. I finished sinking to my knees and braced myself with my hands on the ground as Leah's warm hands rested soothingly on my back.

They were memories we had shared as wolves. In this respect, I not only saw and heard, I felt my father's death throes in my body as if they were my own. I trembled when life said goodbye to him. That's why I had shown it to Edward. When Seth showed it to both of us last week in La Push, Leah had broken down. We felt our father's last minutes more strongly, precisely because they were our father's thoughts. We were connected by blood.

"Whatever you're doing right now, please stop it. You're killing him!" the little elf suddenly sat by me and whispered pleadingly.

Completely confused I looked into her pale face, which tore me from my memories.

She looked stunned - with reddened eyes. She would certainly have cried if that were possible for her.

I directed my gaze to Leah. I had not noticed anything during my memories. But she gestured for me - with an equally shaken look - to look in Edward's direction.

Slowly I raised my head to him.

An ice-cold shiver ran down my spine.

I could no longer feel hatred for this creature. I had only pity left.

I didn't know exactly how much time had passed. My tears dried up and I looked up when other hands lifted me up a little.

I looked into the most beautiful eyes that existed in this world.

Without a word, Becky took my face in her hands, gave me a soulful kiss and pulled me into her arms.

That did so much good for me.

Gradually, I became calmer and was able to separate myself from these malicious thoughts.

"You didn't just ask me about the legends on a whim?" Becky asked me in a whisper.

There was no fear or contempt in her voice. Only love and understanding. And curiosity, of course. But she smiled gently.

"No," I answered honestly, and Becky took me tighter in her arms again.

"I love you Jake, no matter what you are!" she whispered lovingly right by my ear.

My heart leapt.

But this beautiful moment was abruptly interrupted.

Emmett forcibly pulled me all the way up off the ground and held me by my T-shirt. To my surprise, Rosalie cautiously pulled Becky away from me beforehand, careful not to hurt her.

My gaze slid fleetingly to Leah, who was held tightly by the arm by Samantha.

"What are you doing with him?" Alice asked me again, squatting next to Edward.

Edward was lying on the floor. All of his muscles painfully cramped. His face a lifeless mask distorted by the worst torment, as if he were being burned alive. The skin appeared fragile. His dead eyes widened in horror and deep black, as if one could look to the bottom of his tortured soul. His jaws and lips clenched draining the last color from them. Next to him squatted Jasper, who was struggling with considerable physical pain. I remembered Mom's words: 'Jazz perceives feelings. But he can also change them.'

I freed myself from Emmett, walked the three steps toward Edward, took his face in my hands, and pointed his gaze on me as I remembered Mom again.

How lovingly she had raised us. Had played with us and laughed with us. Grounded us when we misbehaved. Read us stories and comforted us at night when we had nightmares. How she lived her life today. Happy. Self-confident. Cheerful. No longer wasting a thought on the past. She had put the pain and the grief, that she twice defeated, that both times made her doubt her will to live. In its place today she was a strong woman who let very few things unsettle her. In all likelihood only vampires came to mind. Unless it was about physical movement. She could trip over her own feet like no other person ...

As I did this, a thought ran through my head: Mom could always trip and slip over herself and had significant balance issues if it wasn't a flat surface, but she had never had even the slightest incident on the bike!

Edward's body slowly relaxed. Life returned to his eyes and Jasper also became calmer.

"Edward?" I asked cautiously, but he was not yet back with us.

I gave him a slap in the face.

I hadn't quite registered the slight burn on my palm - it hadn't been full force, I was just trying to shake him up - when I was whirled around by two cold hands and nearly lifted into the air by my neck.

Samantha stared at me.

Her siblings said something, but I didn't hear them.

Becky let out a strangled cry of terror. The air became scarce as her fingers closed tighter and tighter around my throat like unyielding hard stone.

Leah immediately grabbed her arms, but could do nothing. Not two seconds passed when a white hand wrapped itself around Samantha's throat.

A tender touch that caressed her more than anything else.

Her grip on me loosened immediately, but almost simultaneously the fingers on her neck tightened around her and yanked Samantha mercilessly onto the hard concrete. Cracks appeared on her frightened face.

Gasping, I fell to my knees, catching my breath, while Leah and Becky immediately crouched down to check on me.

"You lay a hand on one of those three again and I'll kill you after all!" snarled Edward at her coldly.

I was taken aback after learning to breathe again.

After all? Wasn't that his ... girlfriend. While I wasn't sure about that term, I was sure about the fact that Edward and Samantha belonged together. Somehow.

"She only lives with us because Carlisle can't reconcile it with his conscience any other way. And she's still alive because I don't want to disappoint him again," he continued to growl menacingly, no doubt in response to my thoughts. "But I'll make it up for that, if you're guilty of one tiny little thing!" he growled at Samantha again.

She nodded anxiously and Edward let go of her.

I was startled when Samantha's neck was exposed.

There were not only cracks but it looked more like a stone had been smashed.

When Samantha stood up, completely intimidated, she left dents in the asphalt. She immediately stood behind Emmett, seeking shelter.

Becky shuddered and I pulled her into my arms.

This was my world. And Becky was now a part of it. I was sorry that she had to witness this.

The school bell rang.

I pulled Becky a few feet away from the scene, gave her a kiss, and whispered, "We'll talk later."

She nodded understandingly and left, while I looked after her for a long time. After she disappeared behind the door, I went back to Leah, who looked pretty confused.

"What the hell is going on here?" Emmett then asked an explanation.

"I'll tell you later. Better get to class. We don't want to cause a stir," Edward said immediately.

All of them moved away.

I lowered myself to the ground and leaned my back against a tree.

This last half hour had been exhausting.

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed this chapter.