Rating: PG-13

Pairings: Sheppard/McKay

Category: pre-slash, Crossover (The SERRAted Edge)

Season: 3

Spoilers: Common Ground

Summary: McKay was pretty sure it wasn't fair to lay the blame on Sheppard's ears, but he didn't care.

Disclaimer: If I owned them they won't be nearly as cool.

Notes: First ever Stargate fic (though I love the series) and I'm planning on a sequel. If it's not posted here due to rating conflicts check out Area 52 or WWOMB.

OTHER WORLDS

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McKay was pretty sure it wasn't fair to lay the blame on Sheppard's ears, but he didn't care. It started out innocently enough. Well, maybe not innocently but pretty darn close. They'd been pressed practically into each other's clothes on Argun hiding from yet another mob of angry farmers with pitchforks, although in this case it was crossbows with poison arrows but you had to honor tradition so in McKay's mind it was pitchforks.

Teyla and Ronon were on the opposite end of the compound hiding behind their own pillar, probably being all stoic and warrior like, and McKay couldn't help but think that he could be securely in his own air conditioned lab right if it weren't for his damn drive to know everything. As well as his suspicious certainty that without him, Colonel John Sheppard of the friggin' US Air Force would end up sacrificing himself in some blaze of glory on a shitty piece of rock without the voice of reason around to yell in his ear and occasionally pull the said world's ass out of the fire instead.

Still that didn't mean Rodney was going to do his own self-sacrificing quietly. Or, he amended taking the irate villagers into account, at least silently.

So in this particular planet McKay made what he would someday point to as the beginning of the slippery slope. Turning his head the tiny amount need he whispered into the Colonel's ear, since he didn't particularly feel like being set upon by the torch welding mob but couldn't keep his sarcasm to himself without busting something- like his spleen, which he was surprised he still had and wasn't looking to lose anytime soon, "You think that maybe we should just start skipping the planets with people on them?"

He'd been expecting an equally deadly barb tossed back with that, at times almost infuriating laid-back charm, that Sheppard used. It was all part of the game and Sheppard was a damn fine player. It helped in situations like these. Rodney had had enough practical experience accumulated by then to have formulated the ratio of how deep the shit was by just how Sheppard replied.

Instead Rodney felt the Colonel give a full body shudder. If they hadn't been pressed together like sardines he wouldn't even have noticed but those fine tremors did something wonky to McKay's stomach. He didn't really have time to think about it however, as Teyla and Ronon chose that moment to make a break for it. The following few moments were spent in a mad dash full of a lot of sneaking, not something Rodney felt he was all that good at, and running, something he hated with a passion since grade school and gym class.

When they stepped through the event horizon leaving behind the people who could really have used a bath and maybe a course on hospitality, McKay shot another look at the Colonel's ears and promptly tried to put it out of his mind.

----

After that it was like the baby tooth coming loose that you have to poke even if you already know how it feels. Or in Rodney's case like pulling out the current theories on Asgard engines and beating his head on them.

The first time it happened McKay told himself it was just to pull one over on Sheppard. They were on a planet with some fairly nice people. They weren't too stupid plus the kids hadn't paid him a bit of attention. Rodney was holding out on his final review though, until it was positive that they weren't going to be selling them to the Wraith and that there weren't any beautiful daughters who were going to get the hots for Sheppard and cause an international incident, again. Princess, Priestess, a couple Ascended chicks and it didn't take a genius, although he was, to see the way the wind blew.

There were some interesting energy readings coming from what the helpful natives said were a nearby cave system. The Colonel decided to split up the team leaving Ronon and Teyla to negotiate with the semi-civilized people- they were past sticks and stones but hadn't quite got around to the wonder that is soap- while he and McKay checked it out. The trek to the caverns wasn't bad either and McKay was feeling pretty good about the situation. There wasn't much in the caves except some old Ancient equipment, no ZedPMs. But a mission without getting shot at was giving Rodney a good buzz.

It was the little imp in McKay's mind that pointed out however, that the Colonel was looking rosy cheeked from the chill in the caves. And that the tips of his ears were turning red. Fairly impulsively McKay reached out and covered Sheppard's ears and gave them a good rub. The tremors came back and McKay was about to make a cheeky comment when he made the mistake of looking into John's face. The half closed eyes and almost delirious look made Rodney feel suddenly uncomfortable so he released Sheppard's ears and made some smart-ass remark.

Barely containing his flush McKay got back to work analyzing the equipment but he couldn't help sneaking peeks at the Colonel, who'd taken up guard on the entrance to the cave with his back turned pointedly to Rodney.

----

It wasn't that Sheppard's ears were all that pointy but they did have a distinct curve that most people lacked. Fiddling with his coffee mug McKay couldn't help himself. He was staring at Colonel Sheppard's ears. Again. It was just that they were so damn sensitive. Over the last month or so Rodney had used various excuses to touch Sheppard's ears and every time the military man almost came out of his uniform.

In a perverse way McKay had come to enjoy getting that reaction out of the man. It gave him a thrill to touch and watch Sheppard shudder.

Something that McKay wasn't completely comfortable with himself. About the fourth time he'd realized that his fantasies had started to shift from the blonde haired perky breasted Samantha Carter to the shiny black hair and pointy ears of his best friend.

Quickly sublimating his blush with a sip of coffee, he acknowledged that in his dreams it involved a bit more than ears. For a man that was disturbing enough. For a man who had to work with the military it was shooting your foot worthy.

Rodney didn't have problem with homosexuality… but then it had never been him before that was having naughty thoughts about a guy. It put a whole new slant on the issue and while he still didn't think it was wrong he did wish it hadn't happened to him.

Rather reluctantly he'd had to admit to himself that maybe…just maybe he was falling for his male best friend. McKay had never had someone who listened to him or would goof around with him like John and he could see how he had fallen for the big lug. If there was one thing that Rodney enjoyed it was attention. Facing the fact that he was like every other woman that stumbled into Sheppard's path however, was harder to swallow. Heck, McKay had noticed even Elizabeth giving Sheppard the eye sometimes.

'I've joined the masses. How plebian.' Dragging his attention away from his inner musings he listened to Elizabeth wrap up this weeks staff meeting while sneaking another peek at John.

----

John Sheppard was perfectly willing to admit that he wasn't as smart as Rodney. In fact around the third time McKay had saved Atlantis from blowing up he'd figured that Rodney's claim to be the smartest man in two galaxies probably wasn't completely, entirely out of question.

But in no way was he an idiot. If his Mensa score hadn't proved that (and he hadn't told Rodney it no matter how many times the man bugged him about it) than maybe the number of times he'd pulled Rodney's ass out of the fire did.

What he couldn't understand then was how much longer Rodney thought he could get away with teasing him. 'You don't play with another man's ears without follow through after all.'

Yeah, it had taken Sheppard longer than he'd like to admit to figure out that Rodney was doing it on purpose but he knew it was because mainly he'd put it down as wishful thinking. That excuse wore thin long ago.

It left two options. A) Rodney just enjoyed having power over people to the point of practically sexually harassing them. B) He didn't have a clue what he was really doing and was confused as to what to do.

Someone who didn't know McKay would have immediately picked the first one because at first glance the man was a sadist to co-workers and casual strangers alike. Only a person with guts and stamina had the chance to get close enough to the man to see the depths to him. John was never a quitter. Not since he realized the truth about his mother and her way of dealing with the world.

When he met Rodney John saw the challenge in getting his respect and friendship and was hooked. Besides that the man was damn funny.

He found over time however that his respect for the scientist turned space adventurer had deepened. John was pretty sure he knew that he loved Rodney the day that Kolya had taken McKay and Elizabeth hostage during The Storm. (It deserved capital letters.) When the bastard had threatened to shoot Elizabeth he'd screamed and offered the sick bastard everything he wanted and it was only after that Sheppard realized exactly why. John had been scared to death that he'd shoot Rodney next. After all he'd killed two men and Kolya, was intent on evening the score.

Few things had given him as much satisfaction as shooting the man. He was hoping the second time around it would feel even better.

For sure Sheppard's view on enemies would have given Rodney a conniption fit. Carson still wouldn't look him in the eye when talking about Steve. But it was one of the reasons John felt so comfortable in the military. Threats had to be dealt with and revenge can be sweet. He didn't feel remorse like normal people over that sort of thing. Not to say he didn't have honor. When he made a deal he kept it (even if he knew it was going to turn around and bite him in the ass someday, probably literally).

The thought had crossed his mind to get some of his own back from McKay. The frustration was starting to get rather bad, ending up with John jerking off frequently after McKay's mission fondlings. And while the release was great, the afterglow sucked without a warm body to relax into.

In the end John, concluded that revenge would be nice but sex would be nicer. Preferably long term sex with declarations thrown in.

The problem was that if option A) wasn't viable than what remained was option B). This sucked rocks because there was no way Sheppard felt comfortable about pushing someone to do something against their will. Sheppard wanted them to come to him willingly of their own volition. Under no circumstances was he going to "charm" someone into his bed. 'No, way in hell.' John had to swallow the bitter taste in his mouth that set of memories had called up.

Glancing at Atlantis's walls, John couldn't help but think that one way or another his heritage always seemed to be controlling his life, if not in his career then in his love life. He reached out a hand and trailed it down the wall next to his bed feeling the slightly warm texture pulse under his palm. He didn't know how Atlantis felt to other people, he hadn't dared ask, but to him if felt welcoming in a way that he had never know.

Frankly, he was amazed that he even knew what to call the feeling. All his life John had felt out of touch with the people around him and not knowing why. At first he blamed it on the fact that his mother was always moving them around. Going from one wealthy man to the next with little time to bother with her son's social situation. He was a lonely kid and it was only in his teens that he was able to connect with others, mainly because his mom had been convinced to marry again and was content to leave him alone in the mansion while she traveled the world. Even then though there was no real feeling between his friends at school. They were fun to be with but as soon as they were gone from sight they ceased to matter. According to the movies, books, and television that he'd seen it wasn't supposed to be that way and he couldn't figure out why.

Everything changed when he turned sixteen.

It was a rare occasion, John's mother had been home after vacationing in Aspen and John had developed his first real infatuation with the head cheerleader. He was throwing a party, since there was no way his mother or stepfather was going to, and he'd gotten Tabitha alone. She had a boyfriend but John hadn't cared and when he talked her into bed with him he figured they probably weren't serious anyway. It was only after when she woke up that he saw the look in her eyes- the utter devastation. Tabitha sobbed out her story there in his bed. Her and her boyfriend were in love, had been since kindergarten, they were planning on getting married after graduation. She was so confused and scared. She started having hysterics. John tried to calm her but she kept getting louder and louder. Finally, to John's eternal embarrassment his mother had come drawn by the noise.

His mother took one look at the situation and shook her head in exasperation. She went over to Tabitha sobbing in the corner totally ignoring her naked son crouched in consternation next to her and grabbed the girl's face forcing her to look into her eye's.

Nothing in John's life surprised him as much as when Tabitha's head jerked back like she'd been shot and ceased to cry immediately, not even that first second in the chair back in Atlantis. Observing her handy work she snorted then turned to her son, "Get her dressed. I'll take her home." Then she spun on her heel and left. More in shock than anything else, he had dressed both of them and brought the semi-catatonic girl downstairs. His mom met him with car keys and hand and took Tabitha away.

John had been too surprised to do anything, even give his mother directions to Tabitha's house, as he watched his mother lead the doll like girl away. Only after they were gone did his mind reset enough to wonder what was going on. That's how he ended up haunting the foyer until his mother returned, mind full of questions.

He wasn't surprised that his stepfather had woken; the man had a tendency to down a handful of sleeping pills a night, but their wing had to have been over two hundred feet away. How had his mother heard? What had she done? Why hadn't she been surprised or asked any questions? John had a pretty fair idea of what it'd looked like… hell, what it'd felt like and yet his mother had just…

When the headlights of his mother's returning car shone through the windows Sheppard stood frozen waiting, unsure he really wanted answers because the whole night would seem so much better as a dream. He remained that way until she walked through the door.

His mother had never been all that concerned about him. Oh, she showed a moderate amount of affection for him but not enough to disturb her life. After sixteen years John was more than used to the rather off hand way she dealt with him. That was why is shocked him so much to see such an intense unearthly look on her face as she stared at him. It was the middle of the night and he was surrounded by the debris of his birthday and he realized he didn't even know who his mother was or what she was. In that instant John felt a fear that shook down to the bottom of his soul because looking at her he felt something stirring in response.

"Mo-mm?" He stuttered out clenching his fists to control their tremors.

Without once looking away she said, "Next time try and pick a girl with richer parents, really she practically lives in a trailer park."

Part of me was shocked that even then she was thinking of money; the other part was sort of reassured since it was the only thing she was ever concerned about. Taking a deep breath John asked the thought that had been plaguing him since Tabitha had started screaming, "What is going on?"

She just looked at John for a moment, "Obviously it's time to tell you. We're not entirely human. What you did to that girl, what I did, it's called 'charm'. Although, on my part there was telepathy thrown in. Be careful next time." She went to go back upstairs.

One second. Two seconds.

"WHAT!" John shouted swinging around to stare at his mother on the staircase.

There was a bit of sympathy in her eyes, "It's true kid, you're grandfather was elven. Lot of that hocus pocus stuff is true." She came down a couple steps and looked at her son more closely. "Didn't you ever wonder why all those men did things for me? Why I don't look any older than I did ten years ago?"

John wished to hell he could call her crazy and move on with his life but something in what she said just rang true. Still rational thought wasn't going to give in without a fight. "Come on Mom. Its just cause you're pretty and work hard to stay that way. There's no way I'm part fairy."

She didn't rise to the bait. "You can call them whatever you want. I don't care. I don't want anything to do with them. That's why we always live in cities where there's a lot of cold iron. And as for not being a fairy, I hate to break it to you but we tend to go for beauty it doesn't matter what the packaging is. I just go for men because it's more socially acceptable." It was the words heard in his head that made John weak in the knees. :It's not going to go away because you want it to, I know. You just have to live with it and use it to your advantage.: With that she turned and left and leaving him to fold to the ground and clutch his head.

'Use it to my advantage. She sure did.' Pulling his hand away from the wall John brought it in close to his heart. Oh, he tried to deny it at first, even managed to forget it sometimes. But there was too much evidence that she was telling the truth.

Over the years he managed to pull more facts out of her but it was piddlin' little. Her father's world had had too many rules and too many women in it that were more than her. In the human world she was the one eyed queen whereas in the elven she was a tadpole among frogs. They always treated her differently because her mother had been human. Or as near as John could figure Ancient. Because the fact that his mother had been born was a huge shock to the Elven community and all she would say was that somehow her mother had been 'different'. He figured that meant she didn't know how. The fact was that human-elven hybrids were rare as naquada on earth. They'd both died at the hands of some group call the Un-Seleighe and after their deaths she'd left and never looked back.

Sheppard had only run across a few elves back on Earth. One he'd met at an amateur racetrack with an army buddy, another he'd seen at a concert in San Francisco. Both had been shocked to meet him. The feeling had been mutual.

He raised his hand and traced his ear. Even though it was just a light touch John couldn't help but feel the thrill. He pulled his hand a way and clenched it. All he got out of his outrageous relations were semi-pointed ears and an overdose of "charm". Plus he seemed to age a bit slower; something he figured had saved his life recently with Koyla's Wraith, which John'd come to name "George".

And after Tabitha he never pursued someone he was interested in again. One un-intentional rape was enough for him thank you very much. So Rodney was safe, unless he finally got up the nerve to make a move.

finis