I knew something was wrong. I had forgotten to add this chapter completely. Damn. Well, here it is.
Chapter 07: Disaster at Weathertop; Rivendell's Escort Party
So much for Foley, at least in nearly no time at all he was fed, washed, clothed and dry. Let's get back to the not so merry party of Hunter, Kurt, the Rock and Edge and Christian.
They were on foot again, with Hunter leading his horse. Apparently the nine Black Riders weren't total idiots; they had scared off all the horses in the stable, save for Hunter's. It must have been very brave or a sound sleeper.
"I'm hungry!" Christian suddenly complained.
"We just ate!" Hunter yelled back at him. "What kind of a bottomless pit are you?"
"The Hobbit kind!" Christian replied. He sighed. "Don't you know anything about Hobbits, dude? We have six square meals a day, not including snacks in between!"
"Well tough luck," Hunter growled. "We're not stopping until nightfall," he kept on walking.
Christian caught Edge's arm. "Dude, what if we starve with this guy around? I don't know if I can go without another bite of food!"
"Tough it out, you baby," Edge said unfeelingly.
"Are you honestly telling me you aren't hungry?" Christian said incredulously.
"Yes, I'm not," Edge said. The next moment a hideous growl came from the vicinity of his stomach. Christian gave him a dry look. "Aw, just suck it up, would you? Night isn't that far away anyway!" Edge turned and continued following Rock and Hunter. Kurt was lagging behind yet again.
Christian sighed and went on sullenly. A shout sounded. "Head's up!" Edge's voice. A second later an apple came flying out from the trees and smacked into Christian's forehead. Christian was knocked out cold.
Kurt came over to him, as Edge walked back and looked at his brother. "You killed him," Kurt accused.
"Hey, don't look at me!" Edge said quickly. "It was Hunter who threw the apple."
"Well then go over there and tell him that he killed Christian."
"I doubt he'd care."
At that moment a groan came from Christian's lips. "Oh, good, he's not dead," Kurt said. He reached down and helped Christian to his feet. "Come on, before Rock and Hunter leave all three of us here."
"Apple?" Edge asked, offering it to Christian. Christian's reply was to snarl at him.
They continued without much further mishap or argument among them, mostly because they traveled in single file to avoid walking side by side and ultimately start a discussion. Or maybe it was because Kurt wasn't that talkative today and had actually acted sane every now and then. Rock wondered why, but couldn't help feeling that there had to be a catch.
Night came upon them. It was then that Hunter stopped in front of an ominous-looking statue. "This is Weathertop," he said, whereupon he stumbled into a twenty-minute explanation about its history. Edge, Christian and Kurt yawned, while the Rock tapped his foot impatiently. Finally Hunter came to the point. "We'll stay here tonight."
Rolling his eyes, Rock followed Hunter into a higher up shelter in Weathertop, the other three trailing after them.
When they had found a good place, a hollowed crevice near the top, Kurt, Edge and Christian cast themselves down in exhaustion. Hunter rolled out the huge package his horse had been carrying. It had various weapons in it, the sharp blades glinting in the moonlight. "Here," he said, tossing Kurt, Edge and Christian knives.
The three of them squealed, and it was only Edge who managed to catch one after some difficulty. "Watch it!" Christian cried. "Didn't your mother ever teach you the proper way to hand someone a pointed object?"
"Yeah, these are dangerous!" Kurt said, tentatively picking up his dropped knife.
Hunter groaned and shook his head. He looked at the Rock.
"The Rock doesn't need any weapon. The Rock can take care of himself," Rock said staunchly, leaning against the structure wall and crossing his arms.
Hunter shrugged and balled up the rest of his arsenal of weapons, one of them being a sledgehammer. "Suit yourself." He straightened up. "Keep those weapons close," he said. "Now get some sleep, all of you. I'm going to go look around and keep a lookout," he took his sword and left.
The Hobbits were quiet when he had gone. Rock remained in his antisocial disposition a few feet away from where Edge and Christian had begun a low argument about whose knife was bigger. Pretty soon Kurt had dozed off. He was startled out of his sleep moment later when he felt a warm fire and the smell of food began to waft through the air.
"Deprive us of a good meal will he? I don't think so!" Christian snorted, poking at the fire underneath one of their brought pots.
"You know, I really think we should stop re-heating all these leftovers all the time," Edge said with a groan. "It's got to be bad for us or something in the long run."
"Would you rather go out and hunt something to eat?" the Rock asked him, gesturing to the dead of night. "The Rock isn't about to go out and play hide and go seek with some woodland creature."
Kurt blinked. "What are you guys doing?"
"Eating," Christian answered. "The Hunter guy's gone for now, we might as well sneak in a meal while we can. God knows when's the next time we can sit down for something. You want anything, Kurt?"
Kurt blinked again; he was still sleepy, but something did register in his mind and made him worry. "Did anyone of you guys take into consideration the fact that we'd be spotted and targeted like sitting ducks with a really bright fire giving us away?"
All three of them looked at him. Edge and Christian's eyes widened. "Wholly shit, he's right," Edge said, looking awed.
"Wholly shit, that's got to be the first time he was ever right," Rock said, mentally kicking himself for not thinking about that. He stood up abruptly and kicked dirt over the fire, putting it out.
"What are the chances no one saw that?" Christian asked fearfully.
An unearthly wail cut into the silence. "How about none?" Edge said dryly.
Christian peered over the ledge and held back a scream. "Black Riders coming up!" he hissed. "Five of them!"
"Come on, jabronies, the Rock says we move higher!" Rock said, heading immediately for the top of the structure. The others scampered off after him.
When they reached the peak they stood back to back. It was then that Kurt, Edge and Christian gave a collective groan. They realized that they had left the knives that Hunter had given them for protection back down with the rest of their stuff. "We're defenseless, man!" Christian wailed.
"This totally sucks!" Edge said.
The Rock frowned. "You morons, he told you to keep them close!"
"Well you didn't even get one!" Kurt shot back.
"The Rock has no need for weapons; the Rock can defend himself with only his hands!" Rock said.
"Uh, Rock, that may work on people, orcs and anything with a definite body mass," Edge said. "But technically we're fighting dead guys here."
Rock thought about that. "Wholly shit."
Before any of them were able to think of a plan, although formulating one did seem bleak, five tall, black figures stepped out of the shadows and slowly started for them. All four of the Hobbits began backing off, Edge and Christian pushing Rock forward with Kurt cowering behind all of them. The Riders weren't interested with the three Hobbits in front, though, and easily sent Rock, Edge and Christian to the sidelines.
"Nobody flings the Rock around like a dishrag!" Rock declared, standing up and attempting to tackle one of the figures. All he landed in was a mess of black rags, before once again being sent into a corner. "Goddamnit! Maybe the Rock should have gotten a freakin' knife!" he chided himself.
"Rocky, help!" Kurt screamed as he backed away. "They're going to eat me!"
"They're not going to eat you, idiot!" Rock said, eyeing the scene warily. "They're just going to kill you!"
"That's just as bad!" Kurt yelled.
"Wait, Kurt, they want the Ring, right? Remember what Hunter said?" Edge said. "So all you have to do is give them the Ring and then they'll go away!"
"What in the blue hell are you nitwits talking about?" Rock yelled at them. "Kirk, if you give them that Ring I'm going to come there, turn my boot sideways and shove it straight up your candy ass!"
"Rock, you're a Hobbit, you're not wearing any boots!" Kurt said, semi-hysterical at this point.
"You know what I mean!"
"Kurt, just give them the Ring!" Christian yelled. "If you don't they'll kill all of us! I'm too pretty to die!"
"Shut the fuck up!" Rock yelled.
As the three argued in the sidelines, Kurt took out the Ring from his breast pocket and, not knowing why, he slipped it on. Immediately he disappeared from physical eyes. It didn't help against the Ringwraiths, though. Kurt screamed, but his voice seemed far away. Their faces were a hell of a lot more horrible than the hoods; skeletal, spectral-like visages stared eerily at him.
Annoyed, the nearest Rider had enough and drew up his sword. It stabbed Kurt right in the shoulder.
"OWWW!" Kurt howled, somehow wrenching the Ring off, as if hoping that would stop the pain.
Fortunately their savior came in the form of Hunter, who ran heroically back, brandishing a stick ablaze with flames. Apparently Rock hadn't put out that fire as well as he thought. Hunter, along with his sword, soon made quick work of the Ringwraiths, who seemed to really hate fire. They began to retreat, screeching.
"Where the hell were you?" Rock demanded from him after the last Ringwraith had gone off supporting a fiery stick lodged in its hood.
Hunter ignored his question and checked on Kurt. The Hobbit was turning blue and gasping for air. "He's been stabbed by a Morgul blade," Hunter said. "We have to get him to Rivendell, now."
"Dude, that place is like some three days away from here," Edge said.
"The Rock says we leave the dork here and just take the Ring," Rock said in disgust. "He's going to slow us down anyway."
"He'll turn into a Ringwraith himself. Do you really want ten of them to be following us all the way to Rivendell?" Hunter asked.
Rock shrugged. "It's Kurt. Even as a Ringwraith, how dangerous can he be?"
Hunter wouldn't have any of it, though. Five minutes later they were on the road again, even if it was in the dead of night. This time they were on full speed to Rivendell.
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"Hunter, he's the color of the blueberries we passed about two miles down now," Edge said.
Hunter sighed and looked back at Kurt. The Hobbit was seated on the horse, as blue as Edge had described, and his breathing was short and labored. They had been walking for all of yesterday, most of the night and now it was well into the morning, but the sun was hidden by the trees overhead.
"Can't we do something to help him?" Christian asked, not relishing seeing Kurt turn into a Ringwraith right before his very eyes.
"Fine," Hunter said, stopping them for a while in a small clearing. "Have you heard of Athelas?"
All three of them gave him blank looks.
"It's called Kingsfoil in the Common Tongue."
"Isn't that a weed?" Edge finally said.
"You mean like the ones we smoke?" Christian asked.
"No jabroni, as far as the Rock knows it's useless," Rock said.
Hunter groaned in frustration. "But do you know how it looks like?" he snapped.
"Sure." Edge said with a shrug.
"Then go look for it!" Hunter said.
"Geez. Pushy…" Christian muttered.
Before they could go about searching they heard the noise of horses' hoof beats come closer. "Hide!" Hunter ordered immediately, pushing them behind some trees and bushes. He crouched down himself to look at the dirt road without being seen. Eventually they heard voices float over to them, but nothing like the shrieking and the wailing of the Black Riders.
"Why the hell did you have to follow me for?" an angry male voice snapped. "As far as I know I was sent out alone!"
"And why shouldn't I follow you?" a shrill female voice yelled back. Quite un-Elf-like, I assure you. "My daddy lets me do anything I want, I don't have to listen to you! I'll do precisely what I like!"
At this Hunter gave another groan and rubbed his forehead. He recognized the voices; they were close to Rivendell, all right. He stood up and looked back at the others. "It's all right," he said to the Hobbits. "They're not any of the Black Riders."
"The second one sounds worse than a Black Rider." Edge muttered.
Rock, Edge and Christian stood up and Christian grabbed the reins of Hunter's horse, where Kurt was perched on, still delirious. They made their way back down to the path and presently caught sight of two individuals riding on two white horses. They were Elves; with pointy ears and long hair their appearance was distinct enough. But they were bickering like two birds after one worm. Two very loud birds.
"That's what I'm afraid of," the male Elf said. "Do you know what kind of shit I'd be in with your dad when he finds out that you came out here?"
"Of course I do," The female Elf said haughtily with a smile. "And I for one hope he does fire you! You're nothing but a second-rate Elf-lord from a filthy, worthless wood, Matt Hardy of, of…"
"Mirkwood, chick," Matt growled. "It's only the biggest freakin' forest in the entire Middle-earth. Open a map sometime and see what I mean."
"You can't talk to me like that!" she screeched. She turned and finally spotted the group headed over to them. "Hunter, tell him that he can't talk to me like that!"
"Later, Steph," Hunter said as patiently as he could.
Matt blinked. "Hunter Hearst Helmsly," he greeted, suddenly becoming formal. "I have been sent by Lord Vince McMahon to find you and escort you and your companions to Rivendell."
"No, I'm going to escort them! I saw them first!" Stephanie insisted, forgoing any greeting herself whatsoever.
Matt bristled. "Listen, 'princess,' let me do my job, okay? You're not even supposed to be out here, let alone bring them to Rivendell yourself!"
"If you please…" Hunter said, cutting sharply into their discussion. "I have a sick Hobbit here." He brought Kurt over for the two of them to look at.
Stephanie immediately drew away. "Eewww… what happened to him?" she asked, wrinkling her nose in disgust.
"A Morgul blade happened to him, that's what," Hunter said. "We've been chased by those Black Riders from Mordor all the way here."
"Yeah, you should see them!" Christian said, shuddering. "Big black horses, raspy voices, high pitched wailing…"
At that moment a shriek cut into the serenity of the woods. Hunter's horse reared back and Kurt nearly toppled off, saved only by Edge, who shoved him back into place. The Rock raised an eyebrow. "Here they come," he said, deadpan.
"We can't let them catch us here," Matt said.
"Yeah, but they're after Kurt," Edge explained. "Wherever he is there they are. And Kurt could turn into a Ringwraith if he doesn't get treated immediately!"
"Fine, give him to me," Matt said. "I can ride to Rivendell faster than those Black Riders."
"Oh no you don't!" Stephanie cried out. "I'm not going to let you hog all the glory again, Matt Hardy!"
"Are you still sore about that time when I pulled you out of a stream while you were bathing to get you away from a bunch of orcs, and your dad miraculously gave me a raise and punished you?" Matt asked with a groan. "Because really, it wasn't like I did it because I wanted to…"
"Oh shut up!" Stephanie said. She turned and grabbed Kurt, putting him on the saddle in front of her. "I'm a swifter rider than you are and I'll take him, so there!" and before anybody could stop her she had taken off, Kurt with her.
"Forgive me for saying this, Hunter, but your girlfriend is fucking suicidal," Matt said to Hunter.
Hunter could only shrug.
»»»
Two minutes into the furious ride Stephanie began to wish that Matt was the one who had taken the Hobbit and not her. For one thing she didn't count on the Black Riders being so fast; they had appeared and were already gaining on her.
There were five of them, and they had seemingly come out of nowhere and began to chase her. All the while Kurt remained cold and still, except for a cough here and then. Kurt was actually feeling very uncomfortable. For one thing, he kept hitting his head on Stephanie's enhanced breasts. Of course, being in the state that he was, he didn't know it.
"Got to get to the river…" Stephanie mumbled to herself, riding her horse as fast as it would go. Actually, she really didn't need to prompt her horse any faster, one look at those black steeds of doom and it had shot off quicker than any horse anyone had ever seen, except maybe for Shadowfax.
They zigzagged through some trees and a branch caught Stephanie on the face. "Damnit!" she muttered, feeling the cut on her cheek. "Not my perfect, pristine face! I'm going to ask daddy to cut down all those trees when I get home!"
Finally she caught sight of the river. Breathing a sigh of relief she maneuvered her horse down the path and over the shallow stream that it was, for now at least. Then she turned and got a wicked grin on her face. She looked at the Riders that for some reason had stopped pursuing her and remained on the bank. She drew a sword at her side that she used as a decoration for the most part. "If you want him, come and claim him!" she challenged.
At once the nine Black Riders plunged into the waters. Stephanie gave a shrill scream. "Wait, not yet!" she yelled hysterically.
They paid her no mind. They also foolishly ignored the roar that came from a distance. They turned too late to see that the river had flooded, rushing over in torrents shaped like wild horses. Before the nine of them could turn back, the water had engulfed them and washed them far away from both Stephanie and Kurt.
"All right!" Steph said triumphantly. Her horse simply gave a whinny of relief.
Kurt cut off her jubilation by coughing. He muttered something unintelligible.
"Oh shit!" Stephanie said, getting off her horse and laying him down. The Hobbit looked worse. "Damnit, Kurt!" she yelled, taking him by the shoulders and shaking him. "Don't you dare die on me! I command you not to! I won't let Matt have the last laugh! Kurt! KURT!"
Her painful voice was the last thing Kurt heard before he blacked out.
cont'd