This is the product of hyperactivity, Dr. Pepper, and hours of Final Fantasy XII and Dirge of Cerberus. This is completely wack, I know that, but be nice and review anyway. Hell, I think its freaking hilarious! But then again, I'm about as sane as this story is...

Don't own any Final Fantasy...

--------------------------------------------------------------

Combustion
By WolfSisterKorrina

"Man, I'm hungry!" Reno muttered, massaging his stomach.

He stepped outside his room, looking about him curiously. The Shinra corridor was deserted.

"Hunh." He began to meander down the hallway to his left. "Where the hell is Rude?"

He hadn't seen his best friend all day; usually he would stop by and they would go out and get wasted. Most of the time he and Rude were practically inseparable. But so far, he hadn't seen any trace of him.

So Reno wandered around the building for a good forty-five minutes or so, but to no avail. He finally gave up on finding his bald companion, and opted to go get something to eat by himself.

He left the Shinra establishment, and made his way toward the town. He hummed some odd tune along the way, eager to go get something that would silence his growling stomach.

About halfway along the trail he'd been walking on, he came to an abrupt halt. A massive bald man was standing in the middle of the road, his back towards him.

Reno quirked an eyebrow.

"Rude? Hey, Rude! What's up?"

Rude slowly turned to face the confused redhead as he approached him. His face was contorted in almost painful concentration.

Reno stopped before his friend, a puzzled expression evident on his face.

He took another step toward Rude. "Hey, Rude, what're you--"

Without warning, Rude grunted, then suddenly burst into flames.

Reno jumped back several feet more than what any human being should be naturally capable of, terrified senseless.

There was a gigantic ball of fire where Rude had previously stood; they quickly died down, leaving only a small pile of ashes and a pair of half-melted sunglasses in its wake.

Reno stood completely rooted to the spot, utterly blanked out, for a long, long while. He then inhaled deeply and calmly, and let out a shrill, bloodcurdling scream that echoed for miles. He promptly ran out of breath, and fell with a loud and heavy thud on the ground, unconscious.

-------

Meanwhile, at a bar some ways away from where Reno lay, Vincent looked over his glass at a swaggering Cid, who was chugging some kind of alcoholic drink.

"Did you hear that ungodly shriek?" he asked him.

Cid blinked heavily at the raven-haired man, and suddenly slapped him across the face with an open palm.

"Don't ya talk t'me like that!" he bellowed.

Vincent held his cheek, wincing slightly as it stung.

"...Yes..." he mumbled.

Cid leaned in, surveying the man with one open eye.

"'Yes' what? Do I havta give ya summore o' this...?" He raised his hand again.

Vincent quickly replied sheepishly. "Yes...Master..."

Cid threw back his head and laughed uproariously.

"Damn straight I am! And another thing! I havta---" Before he could finish his slurred rant, he fell off his barstool and hit the ground, passed out.

Vincent stared down at him momentarily, then jumped up and left the bar, mumbling something along the lines of, "I'm free...finally free..."

--------------------------------------------------------------

Yes, I know, I know...sorry...really, I am...