Chapter 13
We were in some town I'd never heard of. All the stores looked the same with their recognizable big-box logos; it could've been anywhere USA. I was happy to be in one though, strolling the red bullseye-centric aisles.
The air was toxic on that bus. Not like fumes from a bug bomb just deployed or your mom cleaning with bleach. But poisonous all the same.
It frightened me to be there. Baby feelings.
It exhilarated me to be there. Not-so-baby feelings.
Every day I was torn between wanting to glue myself to his bench, or flee to the safe confines of bus three where my bunk usually was.
Sighing, I scanned the paper in my hand. The boys had dictated the list to Carlisle while I was busy calling ahead to the venue to make sure the provisions were in place.
Paper towels. Deodorant. Various forms of junk food. Condoms.
My face flushed red at that one.
Magnums, no less.
I looked at the scrawled, messy words and tried to hold my guts into my body. I wondered if Edward had added that one. The only one on the list in different handwriting.
Whether the need for Magnums was true or to make me embarrassed without even being near him, I wasn't sure. I thought of that famous paparazzi photo of him with that actress in Scotland. On a balcony, cigarette in hand. Naked.
I'd looked at that photo for hours.
It was true.
Errand completed, I had no reason not to get back on the hotel-on-wheels at the back of the parking lot that housed my bunk tonight. The other two buses had gone on ahead to get a jump on setup because the next venue was a stadium. Much more work.
So, there was nowhere else for me to go. I stood staring at it, like a groupie waiting to be recognized out a window so the door would magically open. I rolled my eyes at myself, making a show to get on that stupid ego train.
I pushed the hidden button and the doors creaked open, letting me climb the steps.
Eerie silence.
No band mates. No Carlisle.
No bus driver farting and coughing up a lung.
Just him out of the corner of my eye, tingling my periphery. I could feel him staring at me, could feel him all around me like at the chicken joint. I didn't need to look at him to know he either had that smug look on his face or the annoyed one.
I pretended not to notice. I wasn't going to be a baby baby baby and let him intimidate me from doing the job given to me.
I restocked Band-Aids and Listerine.
Put Veggie Stix in Jake's cupboard and Slim Jim's in Jasper's.
Put the condoms on Carlisle's desk, let him deal with that.
Until there was nothing left for me to do.
So, I turned around.