Forever Scarred
Chapter 03
"See, I told ya it isn't all that great."
He smiled, "Nonsense, this is all so cool. What's all this right here?" Mokuba asked picking up a box and placing it on the floor. "It's a bunch of folders with papers in them. You write, Jounouchi?" He asked, lifting a folder in his hands.
The blonde rushed over and took the box from him with a blush, "Yeah. Listen, I mean no offense but they're really private and I don't really want people lookin' at them. It's just-"
Mokuba stood up and handed him the folder, "Hey, you need your privacy. I understand." He smiled. "So what else do you've got?" he asked excitedly. The blonde nodded.
"Let me show ya." He put the box back down and led Mokuba to his desk. The raven-haired youth studied the dilapidated chair and desk carefully. "It's a bit old but it's perfect for me and it's mine." He spoke proudly, the boy nodded in agreement.
"I wish Seto or I had something like this. Something that we've kept over the years, but he's all about updating and reinventing…" His words etched with a quiet depression.
"Good morning, Mr. Kaiba."
"Do I have any messages?" He asked getting his office keys out.
"Yes sir. Mr. Kaiten and Mr. Muso have affirmed the meeting for next week. Mr. Andrews from 'Entertainment America' said he would be absent but would be sending his son, Keith Andrews, whom also works with him, in his place. And finally, Mr. Lamou said he wouldn't be able to come in today."
Kaiba scoffed, "Get a hold of Andrews and let him know that's fine and call Mr. Lamou and tell him he's fired." He ordered and she nodded. He walked in and closed the door behind him. Sauntering over to his desk he opened up the folder he'd been working on yesterday. With his laptop turned on, he began his daily work routine.
He was hoping to get done early, because he had a little reading to do after this. He glanced once at his briefcase, inside was the journal he'd taken from Jounouchi's room. It was wrong even he knew how important privacy was, how personal and confidential something like this was but… But it peaked his curiosity and deeply fascinated him to read the words of pain and abuse that he related to so well. To see that there was someone else who actually suffered like himself. It was invading another's personal business but his inner emotions compelled him to read, to know more, to relive the fear and desperation he was forced to suppress and hide from Mokuba and everyone.
He opened it up and took out the journal, holding it firmly in his hands. Memories, the past… "The past is the past, you can't change what's already happened. There is no point in dwelling on it either." He reminded himself but did not listen. Forgetting his work for the moment, he opened it up to the second page and began reading.
Went to school today and it was the same thing as yesterday. Well, it was better 'cause we didn't have no pop quizzes pr anythin' like that. But dammit I got into another stupid fight wit' Kaiba, that guy really pisses me off! He just can't leave me alone, I mean that jerk is so… He's gonna make me go crazy! I can't stand him! I mean he
Kaiba blinked as the wording cut right off. He turned the page and frowned.
Fuck, it's so hard to write. It's so – they say this is easier or something but how is it easier?! How the hell?! How can you possibly write out you've just been beaten by your own dad?! How are you supposed to simply write, my dad beats me and has been beating me ever since I was ten years old huh?! It hurts so bad- It hurts to say that, I thought I'm supposed to feel better now that I've written it out? So why does it still hurt…
He read that part over and lost himself in memories of him and his stepfather Gozaburo. He recalled the 'meetings' the 'punishment' and their discussions clearly. He remembered it all much to his surprise. It was like it never went away, when he had never even thought about it but merely forgot it. But then now it was here, he hadn't forgotten it, but simply tucked it away.
"Mr. Kaiba sir," His secretary's voice chimed in through the intercom, snapping him out of the nostalgic daze he was in. The yearning for the familiar was unsettling, since the familiar was cruel and degrading. He shook his head again; he was falling back into the dark world, "Mr. Kaiba sir?"
He leaned over, closed the book and got his act together, "What is it?" He asked.
"Sir, Mr. Daisuke and Mr. Sen are here."
"Send them in." Kaiba threw the journal in his desk drawer and gathered hastily the correct files for this meeting. With a sigh and deep breath he got back in his work mode.
He walked away leaving him to his isolation. Leaving him to cry, to hate, to slowly crawl into bed and shed tears of fear, pain and desperation. He stood to his feet and made his way over to his door, limping out he made his way to the bathroom across from his room. Locking the door behind him he turned the water on and splashed away the tears and the pain.
He took a few breaths before sneaking back to his room. Upon closing the door he leaned against it and fell into a sitting position. Staring straight ahead at nothing he allowed more tears to fall, he was tired of this but he just wasn't man enough to face his father. He was a weakling, a weak dog.
He'd never be free- even if he could get away, where would he go? He couldn't and wouldn't dream of imposing on Yugi or any of his friends. It was rude and wrong and unfair to them. They shouldn't have to take care of him, no. He was alone, alone without anyone to help him. Like his father always told him.
For a long time he sat there quietly thinking of all the horrible things in his life. Silently praying for help but of course it would never come. Getting up from his spot he made his way to his desk and turned the page.
Picking up his pen he stared down at the blank page. For a long time he didn't know what to write. He wanted to write out what just happened but how? Slowly and hesitantly he put the pen to paper and with a sigh he began. Fuck it's so hard to write! It's so – they say this is easier or something but how is it easier?!
"Hey Jounouchi, you wanna go play some video games?" Mokuba asked as he and the blonde sat at the lunch table eating ice cream.
"Well, I need to move my stuff to my room first."
"Your things have already been moved to your room silly. I told the staff to take your stuff up, so you don't have to worry about anything." He informed.
"Well, okay then, let's go play." He answered back. The two finished up their cones and took off.
'Sometimes this feels like a dream…' He said falling back on his bed. Glancing around his room he took in the magnificence surrounding him. He didn't deserve any of it, what had he ever done to deserve all of this? He frowned, 'I've done nothing at all…' He closed his eyes tightly and counted to five, he needed to relax.
He placed his arm over his eyes and let the negative whispers leave him. "I have waited so long for something like this, for a miracle. But, is this real? It just- even now after two weeks, it feels so much like a dream. Like any minute I could wake up in my small bedroom, with him on top of me beating me into a pulp." He shivered. He never wanted to go back there again.