The darkness didn't seem to notice the young king kneeling on the balcony with his head in his hands. Like the rest of the world, and those enjoying the festivities behind him, he was simply an object out of place. His head hurt as he tried to keep from drawing attention to himself. To explain why he was crying would be worse than being seen with tears streaming down his face. It felt as though we were overflowing with guilt and remorse, so much so it could only leak steadily from his eyes or he'd have no choice but to scream it out at the top of his lungs.

If this was what it was like to be a man, he'd have preferred being a boy much longer.

"Your highness? Is that you?"

Yuri jumped, rubbing at his eyes to try and wipe away their moisture. "Ah, sorry. Don't mind me, it's nothing."

"But you're crying."

It took a moment for Yuri to realize it was not the voice of one of his more familiar friends. He looked around, trying to see where the voice came from. It was obviously a young woman, by the sound of her.

Peeking out from the doorway, her curled auburn hair playing gently at her shoulders, she stood looking down at him with concern.

"Lady Emily." Yuri truly felt like a fool now. "I'm alright, really. I appreciate your concern."

The Lady stepped closer to him, her pink ball gown rustling gently with every step. "I thought I heard your voice out here but, I hadn't realized there was something amiss. Did Sir Weller bring you bad news?"

"No. Sort of. It's nothing."

"Is it about Sir Von Bielefeld?"

Yuri looked panicked. "What did you hear?"

Emily frowned and brought her hand to his cheek, caressing the red skin with her smooth fingers. "Nothing. Actually, I had wanted to speak with you, but I saw you were walking away with Sir Von Bielefeld and thought it best to not interfere. It must be difficult to see someone you were once in love with. All those feelings still inside resurfacing."

How could someone be so right and yet so completely wrong? Yuri thanked the stars for her misunderstanding and smiled at her calmly. "Not exactly. I never meant to become engaged to Wolfram. Where I come from, slapping someone on the face is more an insult than anything else. It was all a mistake. It was never about love."

"How does one propose engagement where you come from?" she asked, letting her hand come to rest on his shoulder.

Yuri was a little surprised. Normally, no one was curious about such small details of his world. It made him feel important in a way to have someone there who seemed interested in him to that degree. "Well, usually the woman stands and the man kneels down on one knee in front of her and shows her a diamond ring. If she accepts the engagement, she accepts the ring."

Emily cocked her head slightly. "What if they are both men? Do they both then kneel and exchange rings?"

Laughing gently, he shook his head. "In my world, two men can't marry. Two women either. It's just something a man and a woman can do."

"And that is why things did not work out for you and Sir Von Bielefeld?"

Yuri nodded. The look of understanding on the Lady's face made the weight in his gut seem lighter. There was compassion there in her eyes and curiosity to know more, not just about his failed engagement, but about him and his world.

"How silly of Sir Von Bielefeld to take it so seriously. Being new to our world and the customs here, how silly of them all to expect you to understand and abide by such things." She caressed his face again as Yuri let his eyes close lightly and lean into the soft touch.

"No, they're wonderful people. But I do wish they saw things like you do. It's like they all blame me and there's nothing I can do right anymore."

"There, there, now." Emily wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled his head to her chest, cradling it against her breasts as she stroked his hair. "It's alright."

For a moment, Yuri froze in near terror. His mother and Cecilie aside, he'd never before been held to a woman's breasts. It was an awkward position to be in, himself standing an inch or so taller than her, and it strained his neck to be pulled down at that angle. He could hear her heartbeat, though, through the generous mounds his head rested upon and watch her breathe as his head rose and fell slightly with every breath. The way she stroked his head was as soothing as the words she spoke and he felt as though he'd cry again now that he was being held so securely and affectionately.

Instead he wrapped his arms around her waist, changing his stance so it was less awkward in the position she had chosen, and let out a deep sigh.

"I suppose you're more accustomed to a man's chest than to a woman's," she remarked.

Yuri nodded, thinking to himself how very lucky he was to have someone so observant to comfort him.

"Some women might find that intimidating, but not me. I've heard tell that a man who has been with another man is the gentlest of lovers."

The king stiffened, unsure what to say, what to do.

"As lovely as Sir Von Bielefeld is, I'm sure you are quite skilled. I'm not intimidated. In fact, I'm glad that you have been engaged once before. Such maturity is hard to find in men your age."

Now the atmosphere was quite stifling. Yuri stood up, turning his face to the side to try and hide the scarlet hue. "I'd forgotten just how bold a woman you were."

"You blush!" Emily's delight was hard to conceal. "How modest and noble! I wouldn't expect such a worldly man as yourself to blush at such simple praise. Your highness is beyond expectations, which were high enough indeed."

Yuri rubbed his face a bit to hide the increasing shade of red, though his smile was less easily disguised. "Lady Emily, please, just call me Yuri. You're my friend, after all."

"Then you must call me Emily and I will gladly call you by your name, Yuri."

It was as though his life had all led up to that moment. Suddenly it was hard to remember why he'd felt so devastated by Conrad's words or why for months he'd had only images of Wolfram to award his sleepless nights. They stood on the balcony for over an hour as he told her about his home and family. She never once seemed bored with him or disinterested. She held his hand as he spoke and looked into his eyes, her sincerity and honesty becoming a very welcome companion indeed.

After escorting her to her room, he kissed her goodnight, his lips only daring to touch her

cheek, and asked her to stay as long as she could in the comforts of Blood Pledge Castle. He needed someone like her around, someone who didn't blame him for one thing or another. As though she understood without his explaining, she accepted before bowing to her king and leaving him alone in the hall outside her room.

Once again, he walked down the hallway with a bounce to his step. Upon entry to his own room he had forgotten most of his troubles. He pulled back his blanket, ready to sleep with happy thoughts dancing in his mind when the tussled blonde hair across his pillow caught his attention and his mind snapped back to grim reality.

Wolfram didn't seem to be awake, his hands pulled close to his chest as though he guarded his heart while he dreamed. Yuri frowned a bit at his beautiful face as he lay there in peaceful slumber. It wasn't that he didn't want him there, but the thought of having this night to himself with all the exciting new feelings he had had been a pleasant one.

Slowly, as to not wake the other, Yuri slid into bed. As though he could sense his presence, Wolfram shifted closer to him. There was nothing but silence in the room and the even sound of the blonde's breathing in his ear. Surrounded in the warmth of his bed and with the exhaustion brought on by his emotions, Yuri felt himself quickly falling into sleep's grasp.

"You smell like perfume."

The king sighed. It was as though Wolfram hated the idea of him sleeping. "I what?"

"You smell like perfume."

Wolfram shifted, sitting up on one elbow so he could look him in the face.

Yuri didn't dare look back at him. "Oh. Does it smell bad?"

"Why do you smell like perfume?"

"It probably rubbed off. I was talking to Emily outside on the balcony," he explained. He could see his friend twitch out of the corner of his eye and prepared himself internally for whatever storm would be unleashed.

"How does one get perfume rubbed off on them while simply talking, Yuri? I'm not a fool." Wolfram's voice was harsh and cold like forged steel.

"I was crying. She held me." Yuri pulled the blankets up over his chin. "Do we have to talk about this now?"

Despite his best efforts, the blankets were quite forcibly pulled off of him, exposing him to the cooler air of the room. "Why were you crying?"

Glaring at the ceiling, Yuri thought back to his reasons why. He rolled over to face his friend, feeling more tired and worn than he could remember. "Wolfram, do you think I treat you like my whore?"

"I wish you did."

Yuri sat upright in an instant. "You what?"

Wolfram's gaze was all but emotionless. His thin brows were narrowed with his serious stare while below them hurt and determination danced together in his green irises. "In case you haven't noticed, I'm beautiful."

That was perhaps the last thing Yuri expected him to say, second only to what he had said before that. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"Our armed forces don't need beautiful people. I can't be a spy because I stand out, I'm a good swordsman but there are plenty who are better than me, I'm useless in human territory and I get sick when I travel over seas." Wolfram's hard stare melted into a frown. "I've tried to be great soldier but I'm not Conrad. I'm irrational and impulsive so I can't ever hope to be like my older brother. All I am is beautiful. And if in this way I can be of service to you then I am glad for the opportunity."

Yuri shook his head in disbelief. "That's not true, Wolfram. You've got a lot more than your looks going for you. You're a great soldier. You've saved my life lots of times. Besides, this isn't right. I know I keep saying that and then doing something incredibly stupid, but I'm really serious. You still say you love me and maybe you still do. And that just makes it worse. I don't want to hurt you."

"And I don't want to be useless."

"Even if we kept seeing each other like this, it wouldn't last. Eventually I'm going to get married and start a family and then where would that leave you? No matter what you think, I'm not a cheater. I wouldn't cheat on my wife, especially not with another man."

Wolfram turned his head. "I've gotten used to the idea of you not being in my life. Even when I was your fiancé, since you're only half mazoku, I understood I'd be without you eventually."

"That doesn't mean anything, Wolfram. If you're still in love with me, how is sleeping together supposed to help you move on? What do you do when I'm settled with someone else? Go find someone else who finds you attractive and do the same for them?" The very thought made Yuri feel sick. It wasn't that he was possessive, but thinking of someone else touching, kissing or at the very worse having sex with his friend was enough to raise bile in his throat. It was an unfamiliar and uncomfortable feeling that felt like fire in his veins.

"At such a point, what will you care?"

Yuri shook his head, trying to push down the strange emotions that rumbled through his body. "I really don't want to talk about this anymore. I just want to go to sleep."

"Were you crying because of me?"

Yuri hesitated then nodded slightly. "A little bit, I guess. I don't know what's going to happen. I don't want to lose my friendship with you because I called off the engagement or because we've slept together. And the more people talk, the more confused I feel as to what's the right thing to do."

Wolfram pushed Yuri back against his bed and curled up beside him. "If you cry for me, I don't want you to go to some woman's arms for comfort. Especially not when I'm here. Cry about anything else you want to, wimp, but if it's me, I want to see it."

Yuri nodded his reply, closing his eyes to the nightmares that were on the other side. His blood still boiled and his gut still felt ready to spew forth its contents. Without any real reason he could think of, he took Wolfram's hand in his and held it. The feelings inside seemed to calm with the touch, more so even as Wolfram's thumb ran gently across the top of his hand.

"I don't know what to do, Wolfram. I don't know what to say or ask or even be anymore."

"Cry all you need to if it makes you feel better. But you have to act eventually. Staying indecisive is a weak thing to do."

Yuri curled up against his friend, still holding his hand, and dreamt away the rest of the long night.