Pros and Cons

Hinata faced an inner struggle of enormous proportions over the next few days. She was at times determined, scared, convinced she was crazy, elated and anxious. There were times when she was convinced she was capable of going through with the plans the elders proposed and other times when she was dismayed that they would even suggest such a thing.

But when she honestly sat and weighed the pros and cons it quite surprisingly kept turning up more pros than cons. Being a single mother would be harder than she knew she could imagine but she had Kurenai as an example and a reliable friend. She was certain that with her steady help she could do this. And Konoha in general had an exemplary record of helping shinobi families when one, or God forbid, both parents had died.

Another item in the pro column was that she could do what her father had always wanted with respect to the clan leadership - turn it over to Hanabi. The downside to this was that she would probably be completely ostracized from the Hyuuga clan.

If Hinata's father thought she was unsuitable for Hyuuga leadership he had vastly underestimated not only her shinobi skills but her skill in statecraft as well. She had been a most attentive student at clan meetings she had been required to participate in since childhood. Undertaking this course of action would precipitate a crisis in Hyuuga the likes of which had not been seen since...as long as she could remember.

Clan issues could be resolved through negotiations, however, and if the elders wanted this badly enough they could see to it that that happened. Personal issues would be much harder. Hanabi would be surprised but she knew her sister well enough to know that she would be relieved the tension between them was resolved by Hinata removing herself from consideration as leadership. Briefly she allowed herself a few moments in which to feel wistfully forlorn about her father. If only...

If only he had ever actually been a father toward her.

It was a sign of the graciousness of Hinata's heart that she actually bore him no ill will. She just...missed...what she wished they could have had.

The painful, grown-up realization was that it had never been there to begin with. The idea was strangely liberating. All her life she'd been told she was never good enough for Hyuuga and now she no longer had to be. She was free to, what was in effect, be the founder of her own clan.

The elders may have thought they had a plan to restore the Sharingan of the Uchiha to Konoha, but Hinata's plans included much more than that.

Kurenai's words haunted her, though, that a day didn't go by in which she didn't miss Asuma. How was this possibly fair to a child? To deliberately bring a child into the world with her it's only parent? To create a child for the purpose of re-establishing a particular jutsu?

The fact of the matter was that was just what the history of arranged marriages among the various clans had been - business propositions and the reinforcement of clan specific jutsu. How else had kekkei-genkai come about and why else were they so jealously guarded?

Better to have technology to assist than to have her own body bartered by her father to make a suitable match.

But, and here was the most important question, could she love such a child?

In her heart she already knew the answer to that question or else she would never have spent so much time worrying about the rest of it.

With that her mind was made up.

She appeared on Kurenai's doorstep breathless the next morning. As Kurenai opened the door she saw the smile on Hinata's face and simply said, "Well, I see you've decided."

Nodding, feeling particularly giddy, Hinata stepped in at Kurenai's welcome and joined her sensei for tea. "Yes, sensei, I have. And I-I hope you will accompany me as I give them my requirements."

Kurenai arched an eyebrow at her young student and smiled. "Requirements?"

Hinata nodded. "I have given it a lot of thought Kurenai-sensei and it's not quite as simple as fulfilling their request of a single baby."

"Of course not, Hinata, it's your whole life ahead of you. After this, you do realize that you're never not going to be a mother again, don't you?"

Another nod from Hinata and she held up her hand. "Of course, Kurenai, but it goes beyond that. And there are certain practical considerations that will have to be met. Both inter and intra-clan."

"Well I'm glad to see you've considered it so carefully. May I know what requirements you intend to ask them to satisfy?"

"Please do not be offended, Kurenai-sensei, but I can't let you know that just yet. I need to ask you one more favor in addition to all the help you've given me these last few days and asking you to accompany me tomorrow when I see the elders."

"Oh? Of course I'll do whatever I can to help Hinata. And of course I'll be there. Now, what else is it you need for me to do?"

"I know that you are close friends with him, closer than I am to him myself. Would you please do me the favor of asking Shikamaru Nara to accompany us tomorrow as well?"

"Shikamaru? Yes, I can ask him. But why, Hinata?"

"I'm afraid I can't tell you that yet."