Forever Scarred

Chapter 14

Page 24

And it all begins to fade…

Fade away…

Ah yes, another deafening silence at the Kaiba breakfast table. Although, it wasn't filled with as much sadness as usual, for Seto Kaiba was actually sitting with them this morning. Which came as something good, very good, to Mokuba, who was despite being uncomfortable in the overwhelming quiet, was wearing a small yet noticeable smile.

He glanced over at his brother whom was merely reading a newspaper, which made the normally distant, moody CEO look more loving and normal. He stared back at Mokuba and flashed a sincere, 'happy' smile.

It was a peaceful sight, one that Jyonouchi was glad to have witnessed. But he was soon snapped out of the moment as his focus and thoughts soon took over the somewhat calming state he was just in. Everything seemed so crazy, so wrong but yet; both Mokuba and Kaiba make it out so simple, they see it as something that can be fixed. He figured at first, they were too foolish, naïve, overconfident- The Kaiba brothers-overconfident? A gentle joking feel ran through him for a second, it was in their blood to be a bit overzealous and cocky, but they never overlooked things and always had the stuff to back up their behavior.

And he really thought that they were in over their heads that they didn't understand. But now, things seemed so different even with the horrible thing that happened to Kaiba just the night before. For some unspeakable, unknown reason they were willing and are putting their safety and life on the line for him. It was still incomprehensible, 'Why would they want to risk so much for me? I'm nothing.'

He was to simply trust them. Sit back, just calm down and relax because Kaiba would take care of everything. But that wasn't fair. Why should he or Mokuba, or his dear friends have to deal with his problems? That's what he'd been trying to get the brunet to see but to no avail- Perhaps because he didn't want to leave-at all.

He didn't want to leave the solid walls of this large mansion; he didn't want to return to the outside world where so much hurt and pain existed. He, he could actually smile and not get kicked by it; he could breathe without inhaling the smell of sex and drugs. It was, for him, peace.

And as hard as he tried to fight it, he was growing used to living here, used to seeing the Kaibas on a daily basis and it was, felt warm. He hadn't ever thought of feelings, especially the positive ones since there was no way to get to them while he was his father's 'prisoner'. He sighed softly, stealing a quick glance at the brunet before returning his eyes to his plate. 'Maybe it won't be like that anymore.' But he frowned. If, by some miracle chance, Kaiba managed to take all the bad guys away, where would he, Jyonouchi, be? He would have no more reason for staying here; he didn't feel right staying with Yugi or one of the others. He'd be homeless, other than stay in that filthy, sick apartment room. And that was the last place he wanted to stay.

But he shook his head (mentally). Taking a deep breath he looked on determined, 'after everything Kaiba and Mokuba, have done; it's enough. If they get rid of everything, that would be the best, greatest thing ever. Wherever I end up, wherever I hafta go after that doesn't matter as long as they are gone.' "That's all I want." He whispered.

The bright golden light soon disappeared back into the mysterious necklace that hung around his neck. He emotionlessly stared into their dead bleeding eyes and glared. With a sigh and a shake of his head, he left.

'Well, I guess that's two of them down.' There was no amusement in his tone; though this was one penalty 'game' he was glad to dish out. Walking out of the alleyway and stepping back onto the sidewalk path, he continued his way to Kaiba's mansion. He was holding a small bag with things he grabbed off the two guys before he killed them. Two cell phones, three key-type cards, and two pairs of keys. Now that he had found these things maybe he and Kaiba could figure something out.

Kaiba looked over at the blond from his newspaper. He heard him mutter something but obviously it was to himself. But he wondered, was curious, to know what the other was thinking of so intently to make him change facial expressions so frequently.

It amazed him to know end how complicated and frantic the blonds life really was, when he once pegged him as a simple-minded idiot. But then he did know, he'd seen the bruise that popped up every once in a while. But guys like him were bound to get into fights often, he didn't think it could be anything more than that-you'd think he'd confide in his friends if it were something serious.

But he digressed; he didn't care about the mutt's friends or their eccentric, annoying attitudes. He didn't care much for the blond either-- no, that wasn't necessarily true. For in a small way, he did care and wanted to help. He brought his eyes down to the paper he was reading; there was nothing important in there, just the everyday murder and killing.

And speaking of murder, Jyonouchi was about ready to murder his brain; thinking too much was getting on his nerves and a headache. He never thought about much before, what was there to think of, to question when he knew it'd always be the same. Though now it wasn't at all like that, and now he wasn't sure what the heck to expect to strive for. Maybe, he did know. He wanted to stay near Kaiba, yeah, imagine that.

He blushed at the interpretation of that sentence. But it was true. Kaiba was so strong, so ready, and even after something so traumatizing he was ready to continue-same day. It was something Jyonouchi could never do- he wasn't strong like that. It was amazing how determined, how confident and strong Kaiba was and he was drawn to it.

The more he thought about it, the less crazy and stupid it sounded. How could he not admire the other? 'He's done so much for me. I'll never be able to repay him, to thank him.' And still, even when it all ended, it wouldn't be worth it to anyone. Jyonouchi was the only one who'd get something good, while everybody around him had to endure such pain and tension.

"Seto," Jyonouchi snapped out of his thoughts and glanced over at Mokuba.

Kaiba put down his paper, "What is it, Mokuba?"

"How did that phone call go? You said it was important."

"It was fine." He answered calmly.

As much as he wanted to stay, he didn't feel like he belonged.

"Seto, I'm glad you're still here. It feels good have breakfast with you!" The young one chuckled, happily.

He felt like an intrusion. This wasn't his life. He didn't belong here; he was only here by circumstance.

Kaiba smiled and nodded.

He wanted to fade away. He didn't deserve the life anyway. He was a mongrel, a filthy disgrace. He put down his fork and was ready to leave back up to his- the room he was staying in.

But Kaiba noticed this beforehand. "Mokuba, yami is supposed to be coming over. Can you remind the doorman and the front staff?"

"Okay!" He said practically bouncing out of the room. He was truly ecstatic.

Jyonouchi was about to stand, "But don't you leave yet."

He froze. He didn't want to talk right now, he wasn't in the mood.

"I know I've asked this before but what is wrong with you?"

He stared over at him, making eye contact with some very serious blues. "What?"

"Why can't you enjoy yourself for one minute? Why won't you allow yourself one day without thinking of the reality outside this house? Why are you so set on the pain instead of relaxing and enjoying yourself here?"

"You're one to talk." His eyes widened, and he dropped his gaze. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that."

Kaiba stood up and walked over, standing right behind his chair. And he leaned right over him, to his ear, "Whatever you were thinking about just before, forget it. Jyonouchi, I'm going to say this and you better pay attention because you know that we aren't friends, so I've never said this to you before; But I" he exhaled softly, "I care about what happens to you now and I tend on protecting like I would Mokuba. And if you were thinking it's not worth it, than I'm telling you, it is. You are worth something to me." He whispered.

Jyonouchi gulped but still couldn't move. Kaiba stood straight and began walking away, "It doesn't make sense. You and Mokuba shouldn't care, shouldn't want to help me."

Kaiba looked at him and shrugged, "Well, fortunately for you, we do." He said before walking away, leaving him alone in the breakfast room.

As mad and confused as he was, he couldn't help but feel so much better than before. It was like all the things that Kaiba said before, days before, had suddenly began to reach him and he felt light and deeply, truly safe.

Kaiba kept thinking about Jyonouchi. He couldn't believe he'd told them those things, and they were true. But still, he didn't imagine ever telling the mutt something like that, the thought and realization made him want to laugh, lightly. It was funny and ironic altogether.

"Seto!"

"Mokuba."

"Yami's here and he says he has some things he wants to show you."

Kaiba's calm, gentle exterior dissolved and his 'business' or 'gameface' took over. He glanced over to the breakfast room and then back down to his brother. "Mokuba, why don't you and Jyonouchi go to the game room and play some games. I really don't want the mutt seeing Yami when he comes in."

"Uh, okay." He said and ran off to get the blond.

Page 25

I'm getting tired of

Being me

It's like I don't belong

In reality.

I don't know, I'm just stupid,

A lost cause, an idiot,

Nobody wants to know me,

I'm not worth it…

Not worth it…

I'm just totally

And utterly

Not

Worth

IT.

"So, apparently you have something to show me." He said, closing and locking his office door behind the tri-colored teen.

Yami held up his hand, "First, if I show you, you're going to have to include me in any plan or ideas you come up with. I'm not letting you do this by yourself."

He smirked, "Fine."

"All right, here."

I'm not worth the attention.

I'm just a sick infection…