Akane groaned as she woke up in her sister's bed, her head throbbing, eyes puffy and cheeks tight and dry from crying last night. She swore she'd never drink again if something would just get her feeling normal again. Running her hand through her hair, she adjusted her black sundress she'd fallen asleep in. Walking out to the living room she saw her sister asleep in her loveseat, uncomfortably propped up. She moved around the room, the sun lighting up the space, her sister forgot to put the curtains back over her balcony windows last night.
Come to think of it, she'd left the door to it open as well.
She shook her head, her sister needed to be more careful sometimes. There's plenty of weirdos out there. Behind her, she stirred awake. Peaking one eye open Nabiki smiled wide at her.
"You look like shit, Akane." Her sister smiled back.
"You don't look much better, sis."
Nabiki sat up and stretched out her body, popping her neck and back as she stood up to start her coffee maker. Akane moved and got herself some water and took a seat on the couch, thumbing the arm of it lightly.
"You can stay for as long as you want, I don't mind." Nabiki chimed up from the kitchen. She wanted to at least offer but hoped like hell she wouldn't actually take her up on it. Akane finished her glass of water and put it down on the coaster closest to her.
"Thanks Nabiki, but I think I'm going to head back home after a shower. After talking last night, I gotta..." Her bangs dropped in front of her face as she focused on her task at hand. "I gotta just do this. I have to talk to him."
Nabiki's coffee finished and she came out to talk to Akane, sipping it slowly as she looked at her little sister.
"I think that's a good idea. You know what you're gonna say?" Akane nodded. "Why don't you and I get dressed, go for a greasy breakfast than you can take all the time you want in the shower before you head out?" Her sister smiled wide.
xXXXxxxXxXXxXXXxx
After a long and thorough shower, Akane headed back to the dojo. She knew that she'd probably have her father and the Saotomes worried if she'd stayed out more than a day and it wasn't their fault for the lousy past couple of days. Paying her cabbie, she walked through the gate and heard movement from the backyard, likely Ranma and his father. So, taking hold of all her pride and strength, she went to the back.
Rounding the corner in a billowy tank top and shorts, she saw everyone was outside in the early afternoon. Nodoka noticed her first.
"Akane! You're home! I hope you're okay!" She headed over to fuss over the young woman who gave her a soft smile. Her father took his eyes off the two other men sparring, about to jump to his little girl to coddle but reconsidered. Nodoka's presence in Akane's life had had plenty of positives and he knew that at times she was probably a lot easier to around than himself.
Even if she was the mother of her ex-fiancée.
"Auntie, I'm fine. Just...needed to get out of the house for the night, I'm sorry if I worried you. All of you."
"No, it's fine. I just wanted to make sure you were alright. Is everything...okay?" Akane kept on a tight smile and shook her head slightly. Nodoka hugged her lightly, rubbing her back.
During his spar with his father, Ranma caught the moment of tenderness between his mother and Akane, a strange wash of feelings going over him. His mother comforting her over a break up with another man felt surreal. He went back and focused on the match; he'd be able to talk to her later.
Nodoka let her go and saw a small tear on her face and smiled sadly back.
"Shingo and I broke up. It's probably for the best. I have...things I need to work out."
"I'm sorry Akane, I know this must hurt but it will get better over time. Would you like to assist me in the kitchen for dinner?"
"Actually, I'd like to put my things away and come back out and enjoy the weather if that's okay?" Nodoka nodded and Akane headed inside, she turned and caught her son's eyes unfocused on the match for a moment and smiled to herself.
She wasn't stupid. She knew from the moment her son had set foot on that lawn that he did so because of her. But she also knew that he had broken her heart those months ago and Nodoka had been caught between respecting the wishes of her only son and comforting and supporting the beginning of a new romantic relationship with the young woman she considered her future daughter in law with someone who wasn't her son.
Something was going on but she didn't want to meddle in it and would not allow her husband and Soun to do so either, the two of them had dealt with enough meddling to last a lifetime from the three of them.
Akane returned to her room to take a second and get her wits about her. She wanted to approach Ranma, but to do so in front of the family would be disastrous. Their fathers at the ready to move them back into the engagement. She was so sure she could taste it.
Would I want that? To be engaged again?
She shook her head, to move from a failed relationship that her father had no hand in to back to his arranged marriage for her within 24 hours was too much. She would already be dealing with Ranma being around while she got over the breakup. That in itself felt bizarre.
She walked over to her desk and flipped the photo back up, sadness washed from the top of her head down her body. His handsome smiling face looked so peaceful, so kind. He had so many of the features she had liked in Tofu when she was younger. Sensitive, kind, thoughtful of others, sweet.
So why did she fall so hard and painfully for a boy who was arrogant, overly competitive, thoughtless and rude?
She pulled the picture out of the frame and examined it; she turned her nose up.
Because it was a fluke. You were just around each other constantly, something was bound to happen.
A tinier voice followed her logical thought
He was handsomer than any boy you'd ever seen, braver, stronger, quicker too.
And he was cocky.
And you secretly liked it.
And you liked the way he'd look at you.
Like that.
She slammed the photo in a drawer and cleared her mind. Thoughts like that weren't an option nor were they welcomed.
Taking a seat on the deck of the house, she watched as Ranma and his father continued to spar, her father occasionally turning to her to comment on a move or technique. He was surprised at how she was handling the breakup with Shingo, considering how fresh it was. He had liked the boy fine, even if he hadn't been a martial artist, he was smart and would be able to take care of his youngest. Tremendously respectful of not only himself but the Saotomes, he treated Akane incredibly well. More than once, he'd asked her what she would do if they were to marry, would she still run the school? She had brushed that off as rushing things.
She never wanted to talk marriages.
Or her own future for that matter, at least when it came to relationships and a family. She wanted to run the school but not right away, to teach on the side as she established herself as becoming the dojo's sensei. But she also wanted to work in the business world, make something of herself there as well. She'd announced that she had gotten an offer to start in the fall at a firm, further in the city so she would be leaving at the end of summer to make her commute easier.
She'd joked that she wanted the chance to live somewhere else if she was to inherit the house and school, even if it was just for a little bit.
She'd be leaving soon.
The rest of the afternoon went by quickly, no outbursts, the hazy summer weather cooling down as the sun fell as well. Dinner was equally pleasant, quiet but peaceful.
After dinner, the growing tension between the two adult children was getting thicker and the parents took note that perhaps it was time to give them some space. Nodoka suggested the three of them go out for drinks as they hadn't been out for some time. She insisted in fact.
Left alone in the family room, Ranma and Akane kept their distance taking seats on either side of the room while they watched some action movie that played, trying to get the nerve up to be the first to say something. Akane decided to bite.
"I wa-"
"Akane-" They spoke at the same time and laughed awkwardly. He put his hand out and gave her the first turn.
"I just wanted to say, I'm...sorry about yesterday. I... took my anger out on you and that wasn't right. It wasn't your fault about what happened between me and Shingo. I just, kinda went back to being the old me you know? Back to my anger, I was just hurt." He nodded and listened as she continued. "The last couple days have just been really weird and it's brought up a lot of old feelings and things I thought I got past and you've been kind of the catalyst for that. Do you think, we could sit outside? I'm really warm in here."
She got up and opened the shoji and took a seat, watching the koi pond as she heard him follow and take a seat near her but kept some distance. She looked out to the night sky and squinted out, trying to do anything but look at him.
"I told myself I forgave you for leaving but the truth is, I don't think I completely did. I think I just got used to you not being here and that made it easier to feel like I forgave you. And then when you came back, I didn't know what to do. So much had changed in my life and yet so much was still all the same, all my feelings were just buried, I didn't let them go. And I want to let them go now." She sighed deeply, shutting her eyes she turned to him. "Why did you leave?"
His eyes were deep cerulean pools that tore at her heart, he coughed and looked away.
"I left because, I... I wanted you to have a chance at a normal life for a while. It felt like I was in the way of everythin' you wanted to do and that wasn't fair. Our dads were always pushin' the wedding on us and I wanted you to be able to do whatever you wanted. I didn't want you to hate me because ya married me and got stuck with me." He blushed a bit, embarrassed that they were talking so openly about feelings, it felt foreign, too vulnerable. "You were a real important person to me, 'Kane. I couldn't live with myself if you really hated me."
"I didn't hate you Ranma, I never actually hated you." She blushed a little too. "I resented you for a while, that you coming into my life made it complicated and took it out of my control. That I went from 'Akane Tendou' to 'Ranma Saotome's fiancée' and that was it. That's who I was. But...I shouldn't have blamed you for that. It's not like you waltzed in, pointed at me and said 'that's her, that's my fiancee now'. You didn't want to be engaged either." He nodded and sighed.
"I just...my ol' man had already taken so much control over my life up to that point, on the road for so long and then now I gotta get engaged? I was 16 years old; I didn't know shit about girls or marriage, I could barely remember how my parents acted when they were together. I didn't wanna be a husband. And I'm sure you didn't wanna be a wife." She smiled.
"I hated boys remember?" He smiled light back.
"Yeah, trust me I remember." He took a second. "I'm sorry for leavin' ya. I just, I just didn't want you feelin' tied to me forever. Never able to do whatever you wanted, I guess I also wanted to make sure I got to do whatever I wanted too I don't know I guess it's selfish. But to be able to train in new places, be able to travel freely, take care of myself. My parents wanted me to go to school and do what? Take math and history classes like I'm gonna be a teacher or a lawyer or somethin'? I never wanted that. I was sick of the both of 'em just controlling every single thing in my life. And on top of that I got three fiancées? And I gotta figure it out, when I didn't ask for that?" He ran a hand through his hair and shook his head. "I just...I guess I wanted a change too. I wanted to do somethin' else."
"Would you have always left?" He turned to see her face, looking for an honest answer.
"What do ya mean?"
"Would you have always left that night, even if I hadn't told you about everything I wanted to do? Would you have still left?" He considered it.
"Maybe. Maybe it was the excuse I was lookin' to give myself so I felt less guilty. But at the same time, I didn't wanna leave. I was...real confused 'Kane. And I'm sorry I never...tried to write ya, I just...I just really wanted you to have a life of your own, I wanted a life of my own too. It's stupid and selfish but I really thought I was doin' the right thing. For me and for you."
She watched him as struggled with trying to find the words. Deep down, she had enjoyed being able to get a bit out from under her father's thumb, out of Ranma's shadow. But it had come at a tremendously painful price and she could go back and forth about whether it had been worth it forever. She decided maybe it had been in the long run, even if her broken heart would not agree. And looking at the larger, grown-up version of that arrogant boy she'd known, she knew what needed to happen.
"Ranma." He looked up and she smiled lightly. His face lightened a little. "It's okay. I forgive you." She watched him swallow, the quiver in his large neck.
"Wha-why?"
"The truth is, when you left it was like...I lost my best friend." Her eyes teared up a little and his face dropped a bit. "I blamed you so much for taking away my chance at being normal when you were here, all these things that followed you once I met you and you were living in my house. I put so much blame on everything you did because it was a lot easier than trying to understand you or your problems. Or deal with my own issues. It was so frustrating and I couldn't stand how I just had to go along with everything." His face grew sterner. "But the truth was after a while, I got close to you and I could...rely on you. More than I could most other people. And I just... after time, I knew you were my best friend, in a weird...twisted up kinda way." She smiled and looked away, letting the tear she was holding fall finally.
"And I know in my heart, I have to fix my relationship with you and get back to that place, that place where I can trust and rely on others because I'll never be able to have a healthy relationship with anyone until I do. How can I trust anyone if I can't trust you of all people?" She looked back at him. "I want my best friend back."
These were not the words Ranma had been waiting on.
But he smiled.
"I'd like that 'Kane. I missed ya a lot and I'd like to kinda start over and be friends too. You were the longest friendship I ever really had. And... the only kinda okay relationship I ever had with a girl. Counting my girl side too." He chuckled. "So, yeah. Guess I'd like for us to be buds again."
She smiled and held out her hand for him to shake. He grasped it and she yanked it and him towards her. He felt like his heart was going to jump out of his chest.
"Don't think I'm not pissed about you not telling me about P-Chan though. That was scummy of you."
Definitely not what he wanted to hear or talk about. He groaned.
"I'm sorry 'Kane, it was just...I swore I wouldn't tell on my honor and then when he started comin' round and sleepin' in your bed with ya I just...it wasn't right! But it had been my fault that he happened to 'im in the first place and I just thought you'd figure out on your own. I mean I thought it was pretty obvious."
"I get it, you acted stupid because you were jealous." She countered, his brows furrowed and he pulled his mouth back in an insulted snarl.
"I wan't jealous, he was bein' a creep and-" She laughed.
"I talked to Ryoga about it, he told me everything." His body seemed to deflate a bit.
"What happened anyway? Why'd he tell you, did he get caught?" She thought for a second, trying to remember what had happened exactly.
"He visited here after being gone for like...a year and a half? This was a bit ago, he stopped coming around as much when you left. He had come looking for me because he was going to propose to Akari and needed to make things right, clear his conscious so he'd be a worthy husband for her. So, he came by and sat me down and told me he was P-Chan."
"How'd you take that?" She smiled softly.
"Badly. I took it really badly. It put me in a bad headspace, I was so angry at him for using my trust like that, I was so mad that you didn't say anything, that no one had said anything. Like I was the butt of the joke once again. I told him I never wanted to see him again."
Ranma in that moment couldn't help but feel terrible for the guy, that must've been the hardest thing he'd ever dealt with. He knew how deeply in love with Akane he had been and to hear her tell him to get out of her life must've cut him to his soul.
"But it was when I took my anger classes, that my instructor had me look into how to better express that anger. That by holding on to it, what did it do for me, what would it amount to? What would I get out of it?" She rubbed her arms. "I'd lose another friend, someone I cared about deep down. And I was losing my friends left and right at that point, I didn't want to lose any more people.
"So, I wrote to Ryoga, knowing he was at Akari's and I asked him to return so I could speak with him. And after a while, he showed up and I spoke to him, I listened and I forgave him. But that he had to take responsibility for the fact that he had lied to me for years about it and that I would need time to try and trust him. He told me...that it had meant a lot to him. That he had just been so removed from any sort of affection or attention that wasn't negative for so long that he'd just lost himself in this fake identity. He apologized profusely and I told him he'd be welcome back to the dojo and I hoped to be able to attend his wedding one day. He shows up every once and in a while."
"That's uh...really mature of you, I guess?" Ranma asked, she shrugged and smiled.
"I just didn't want to keep losing my friends. I'd lost you, Mousse and Shampoo, -"
"Wait you considered them friends?" He quirked an eyebrow up.
"Well...more Mousse than Shampoo." She laughed. "But I guess you spend so much time around people, they become more like friends in a weird way. I still keep in touch with Mousse, he sends letters every few months and I send him updates."
Ranma was shocked by this, had that four eyed duck really been that close with Akane and he never noticed?
"They're married you know." Double shocker.
"WHAT?" She nodded.
"Yeah, they married a year or so ago, he finally wore her down, I guess. Or bested her, maybe both? As a matter of fact, they're expecting their first child in a few months. Crazy what a couple years can do huh?" He could do nothing but nod, shocked at the changes while he had been gone.
"Ukyou and I became pretty good friends too. We have a lot in common, you know when we weren't being rival fiancées and all." His face wore his complicated feelings openly.
"How is...Uc-Ukyou?"
"She's good, the shop is doing well and she's pretty happy. She was going to travel this summer with her cart but I guess she wanted to focus on a new sauce?" She thought back to her conversation with Ukyou earlier that week. "You should...see her sometime."
"I doubt very much that she'd wanna see me." He gave her a pointed face.
"I don't know about that, maybe give it a try. Could be good for your conscious." He considered it and they stayed sitting in shared pleasant silence.
"Hey Ranma?" He peered over to her. "Would you train me again? Like you did before?" He snorted. "What?"
"I gotta see how bad of shape you're in 'fore I agree to that." She punched him in the arm and he laughed. He rubbed the spot she landed on him. "See, like that tells me I know you're rusty."
"Shut up, idiot." She laughed. "I mean it, I want some training, okay?" He nodded.
"Yeah alright, I'll teach ya a thing or two." He couldn't help it. "'Kane I'm sorry about that dude..."
"Shingo?"
"Yeah, I'm sorry if I messed up things with you and Shingo." She sighed deeply.
"Wasn't your fault, I guess it was kind of always doomed. You know, with my relationship issues and all. I think he just kinda saw it finally. It just...wasn't meant to be. It's okay. Honestly, I shouldn't be in a relationship 'til I work on some of my own problems, you know?"
Ranma felt like a stone dropped in his stomach. He thought back to Tofu's, telling him to tell her. Tell her everything, how he loved her before, that he loved her still. That he wanted to be with her, flaws and all. She didn't have any problems they couldn't solve together; they could do anything together.
But then he thought of her sister, probably the closest person she knew, who knew her inside and out. Knew what she wanted in heart and in her head, she'd told him the opposite. That telling Akane his real feelings, he'd end up hurting her more, confusing her more. And so soon after this break up, it'd be weird timing, just bad overall.
So, he quieted the warring voices and opinions in his head and did all he could do.
He nodded.
Like he could even comprehend what she was saying. He would just pretend that he didn't want more than anything to take her in his arms and tell her how much he loved her, how proud he was of her, how he would forever battle with himself in regards to whether it was right for him to leave but that he would never leave her side ever again. He never wanted to leave her again.
But he smiled and nodded.
Friend.
I'll be her friend.
She smiled and looked back out to the backyard. At least he was back next to her. He thought back to Nabiki's words from the night before.
Maybe just get to know her again.
Just start over again.
Maybe... maybe if I just be there for her, it'll be enough for me. It's nice to be back here with her. And now that we're talkin' maybe things can go right this time.
Maybe.