Bad Cop
By Ellie J.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
A/N: Not a happy fic.
After several attempts at posting, it's FINALLY working.
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Cuddy escorted her patient from the exam room as she handed her a prescription. "It's very important that you finish taking all of the pills," she told the young woman.
"Thanks, Dr. Cuddy," she replied and left.
Cuddy went to the desk to call her next patient when she felt a hand roughly grab her arm and began pull her back to the exam room.
She turned to see a familiar form. "House!" she exclaimed.
"Dr. Cuddy's going to be busy for the next few minutes," he told the nurses who were gawking at them. He pulled her into Exam One and slammed the door behind him. Cuddy finally got a look at the expression on his face. His eyes glittered with anger and his mouth was compressed into a tight line.
"What's wrong?" she asked.
"What's wrong?" he said with a bitter laugh. "I found out why you've been walking around stinking of guilt again."
Cuddy looked away ashamedly. She had been afraid that he would pick up on that. House walked menacingly towards her, his voice soft and dangerous. "I was walking to my car when I heard a voice call out to me. It was Mrs. McNeil. The wife of the man that I failed to cure last week. She comes up to me smiling and I can't for the life of me figure out why she's so happy." He stopped just in front of Cuddy and just stood there. Cuddy shifted, uncomfortably aware of just how tall House really was. "Mrs. McNeil tells me that her husband is doing so well after his 'miraculous' shot, and that she just wanted to thank me for everything that I did." His voice got became tinged with a dark humor. "I think it's the first time in my life that I've actually been shocked into silence. But then it's not everyday that I find out that I my boss, for some reason, didn't tell me that I cured a patient."
Cuddy opened her mouth to defend herself, but House cut her off, his voice rising. "Or did you want to take the credit for it yourself? Is that it? Are you so sick of misdiagnosing everything that you wanted to remember what it was like to actually be a real doctor?"
"Of course I don't want to steal your glory," she said in a low even voice that had a hint of tears. But House refused to listen.
"Really? Then what other reason is there to keep me in the dark about something like that? I can't wait to hear this," he said as he flopped down onto the exam table and leaned back with his arms folded in front of him.
Cuddy looked down and tried to swallow the sick feeling that was overwhelming her. She had known that not telling House was a bad idea, but she had let Wilson talk her into it for the good of the hospital.
"House … you didn't even have the hint of a reason to confirm your diagnosis-."
"And yet you administered the shot yourself-."
"On the off chance that you were right and this man could get his life back. I thought it was worth the risk."
"But you didn't want to share this with the rest of the class for some reason?" he asked, sarcasm dripping from every word.
She took a deep breath to calm herself before answering. "I didn't want to get your hopes up if you were wrong."
"And afterwards, when I was proved right?"
"House, that diagnosis had nothing to do with any medical skill, and you know it!" she told him angrily. She met his gaze and held it. "It was a miracle that you came up with that diagnosis," she whispered. "And you don't believe in God."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" he scoffed. "You're punishing me for not having any religious beliefs?"
"Of course not. But tell me, if you had given him the shot and he was cured before your eyes, what would you have done?"
"Oh, let me think? I know! Be happy that I cured a patient!" he shouted.
"And that you were omniscient. And then next time you got a crazy idea that had no basis in fact, you would tell yourself, 'Hey, I was right about that other guy. Screw Cuddy. And the hospital. And the regulations. And the safety of the patient! I'm going to do it anyway!'
"I was right!"
"You were lucky!" she yelled and then looked away continued in a softer voice. "And I was afraid that you wouldn't be as lucky next time and that you would end up killing someone."
House sighed and looked down. "I deserved to know," he said simply.
Cuddy looked at his defeated expression. "I'm sorry," she said softly.
"You're sorry," he repeated and then looked up at her. "Cuddy, for me to do what I do, I can't have these kinds of doubts about my skill. If I have doubts, then I can't take the leaps of faith that get me to the answers. You can't lie to me about this. It's too important." He got up and walked out of the exam room.
Cuddy let the tears fall that she'd been holding back and fought the impulse to call him back and tell him that it was all Wilson's idea, but she didn't. She'd always played the bad cop in their little game, and she'd continue to it for House's peace of mind. He needed to trust someone, and for right now, it definitely wasn't her.
The End
A/N: Wow that was angsty. Sorry. I was just very unsatisfied with Wilson talking Cuddy into hiding this from House. It seemed weird because House has been defying authority since the first day of the show and now they're trying to 'control' his behavior. Were they there for the first two seasons?
Please review.
P.S. If anyone was wondering, I but the revamped Chapter 18 of Rediscovery up. I had taken it down for some re-writing. But now it's up. And there have been some changes.