Disclaimer: I hate it, but I really don't own Maria-sama ga Miteru. Stop antagonizing me!
(Yumi's POV)
I loved her.
Standing right there in the corridor, thunder resounds through my ears once more, roaring with the gale that has formed around me. Again, I was assaulted by the many ghostly undertones and fingers that were pointed accusingly at me. Words that alternated between whispers and howls hits repeatedly in my brain. Words of how useless I am, of how I should just get away from Onee-sama, how I wasn't able to sense her need, but instead made her feel even worse, and how I needed someone to tell me what she's suffering from.
I had no right to love her. No right at all. And I knew this since a long time ago. In fact, it was ever since I discovered that I wasn't there for her when her grandmother was dying.
I heard the door creaking open, and quickly restored my former happy self before Yoshino sees me in that pathetic state. Pity was the last thing I needed from anyone and as Rosa Chinensis en bouton, I could not afford to show any weakness that would bring shame to Sachiko Onee-sama, the current Rosa Chinensis.
I pasted a genuine grin on my face, and prepared to face the world alone. For I must never be a burden to my Onee-sama. Ever.
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Night time came while I wasn't noticing. Lying down, I look out of the window and took in the night life of the neighborhood. It was nothing short of astonishing. This was a good place to stay with Yuuki while we wait for our parents to come home from the States. Living thirteen storeys higher than our house gave me a view that could never be seen from my own bedroom. From this height, I could clearly see the nearby sea in all its pitch-black glory. The dark sky was blotted by the many stars, each seemingly mocking at the conflicting thoughts as I thought about Onee-sama.
I sighed to myself. Time really flies while you're not noticing. It has already been three months since the graduation of the former roses. It is at time like this that I wished that they were still with us, especially Rosa Chinensis and Rosa Gigantea. For one, the atmosphere at the Yamayurikai would be much lively with the playful Rosa Gigantea around.
And there would be someone better and stronger to support and help Onee-sama.
Onee-sama.
I could do nothing but stand at the sidelines.
Onee-sama.
Why.
--Yes? Onee-sama, do you have anything required of me?--
How long, for how long has it been like this? This distance that was previously of little existence till now, the ritual which has been repeated always and always. How long since I talked to her about something but work? How long has it been?
Days that inched by like years.
Inched like Touko.
No, Yumi, you're thinking too much again. There's nothing between Onee-sama and Touko. You've learnt your mistake the last time. It's you who's overreacting again. Get a GRIP!
--You remind me of my friend, the one who got betrayed by her Onee-sama--
You're wrong, Yumi, Onee-sama would never do that to you. Didn't she say that she loved you?
And avoided you right after and went to Touko.
She bought jeans and tried to know more about you!
But that was before…
And I understood now why they say grey represents gloom and hopelessness.
It's an alloy of black and white.
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(Yuuki's POV)
I stood at the doorway for the longest time, wondering whether I should enter our shared room. Throughout our years together, I had never seen her like this. I've seen her smile when she's happy, yell when she's mad and cry and make all those weird faces of hers. Ah… those faces that I enjoyed teasing her with till she can't stand it.
But now, she looks completely different from before. Lying down on the bed and staring at the stars was not what Fukuzawa Yumi does. Hell, she's never look so… helpless before. My heart went out to her. Even though we do squabble, she has always been there if I needed her, and has always helped me with no strings attached. I had a gist of the reason for her melancholy. Knowing her, she would keep everything to herself till she breaks down, and I couldn't allow that to happen.
Bracing myself as I made the pretense of coming along from the corridor, I knocked on the door.
I caught a flicker of her truth before she placed her mask over.
"You're still awake at this late hour?"
"Uh huh, I don't feel like sleeping yet."
Ok, that was lame. I took in a breath, and tried again.
"Yumi? Do you have anything you want to confide in me? Anything at all?"
"What are you talking about, Yuuki? Nothing's wrong. I was just admiring the beauty of night time. What are you so uptight about?"
What a perfect mask. Giving me such a smile that made her looked like she's okay. Anyone else would have been fooled by the mastery of it.
"Just worried about you, like always. Do know that I'll always be here for you, sis."
"Phish, melancholy at the age of seventeen? You need to stop being a worry-wart. Be a man! Oh yea, how's Kashiwagi-sama doing?"
Great, anything but that.
"I'm not gonna talk to you anymore. I'm going to bed. Goodnight."
"Ooh, someone's missing him already."
She just had to ask about that. Great one, Yumi, great one. You knew that it was enough to stop me from asking. But just like you can read me, I hope you realize that I can read you too.
Don't give up, Yumi. Everything will be fine eventually.
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A/N: Ahh… no one's reviewed yet, but nevermind. I'll continue uploading the chapters time passes on. Well, all I can say is that I hope everyone enjoyed the story. )