Disclaimer: Yup, I own Maria-sama ga Miteru. Why else would I be writing fanfics on it!
(Sachiko's POV)
"Everything ends when it is time to, but every end leads to a beginning. Just like how the harsh winter gives way to the joys of spring, and how spring ends to meet the birth of summer. I stand proud, against the elements' billowing of their threats on me, never to falter. For change is constant."
"Thank you for reciting the poem to us, Ogasawara-san. Now class, please flip to page 341 of your textbook and…."
Another day in school. A gentle breeze sails by the window, ruffling the leaves on the Sakura trees. This was yet another day where I couldn't concentrate in class.
A sense of hollowness tugs at me, no, had been tugging at me every day for the longest time. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't make that feeling go away. It's like an ever persistent fly hovering around inside your head, and no amount of swatting at it will make it go away. I wondered what it is.
As far as I'm concerned, there is nothing which troubles me. All except for one.
Yumi.
--I love you, Yumi!--
Maybe this feeling came from me.
Yumi.
Maybe I shouldn't have said that. But, grandma told me to, before she died. She was never wrong before, in such matters.
But you did just what she said without processing it further. You have no excuse.
I made a mistake. Didn't I?
"Ogasawara-san? Are you feeling okay? It's lunch break already. Don't you have to go to the Rose mansion today?"
I snapped out of my reverie.
"Thank you for the concern, Mizuki-san. I'm not feeling ill at all. Well, I got to go do some stuff now. Please excuse me."
"Of course, Rosa Chinensis."
I should pay more attention in class. It's getting inappropriate to be caught spacing out during class time. Not to mention that I'm Rosa Chinensis now. No more excuse will be given for me being an en bouton.
"Sachiko onee-sama!"
Ah, it's Touko.
"Gokigeniyou, Touko."
"Gokigeniyou, Sachiko onee-sama."
"Let's go to the dining hall now, Sachiko onee-sama, shall we?"
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Light dimmed again. I guess it's true that time waits for no one. And I'm sure that time is like a spoiled child, moving at its own speed, never waiting or caring for others. In a flash, I was the petite soeur of Mizuno Youko, and on my way to being an en bouton. The next, however, brought me to the election stage. The third brought me here, current Rosa Chinensis, third year and eight more months to graduation.
But only four months left for me to see Yumi almost everyday, before the exams.
Yumi.
--I love you too, Onee-sama.--
I don't know how to face you. Are we just close friends, sisters or maybe more? Can't you just tell me who you are to me? What did you mean when you said you love me?
--Onee-sama, do you have anything required of me?--
I have, Yumi. I want you by my side; I want to see your face. The very face which never stills. The very face which had always shown me what you are thinking. The very face which is uniquely yours. But yet, I don't know where is this urge to see you coming from, nor do I know why I feel compelled to see you everyday.
Night is a time for reflection. Where the darkness encases you within its depth. Night is the only time, where I can sink into the valley of nothingness and despair and yet be protected from others. Sheltered by the darkness. The cold night brings me warmth. Warmth from the cold shell that I reside every single moment of my life. But nothing is warmer than you.
Yumi.
You are my sun, the sun that shines on me, making me warm, letting me feel cherished. But why do I feel pain whenever I see you?
The knives stabs at me, sensations becoming more and more vivid in every moment spent with you. Merciless pins passes through my heart, red-hot fire plough through my brain. Why is this happening?
Take a breath, Sachiko, and calm down. There's no point in being so worked up. It's bad for your health.
That was what Onee-sama would have said to me.
Youko.
Perhaps it's time for me to call her once more. Then again, she'd probably expect me to be able to handle such things myself.
"Sachiko-sama! There's a phone call for you!"
"I'm coming!"
I picked up the receiver from the telephone man.
"Hello? Ogasawara Sachiko's speaking."
"Sachiko onee-sama! This is Touko. Have you settled everything needed for this Sunday?"
Oh. It's Touko. She called at the right time too.
"Yes, Touko, everything's all prepared for Sunday. So is it correct to presume that we'll be meeting at the same time, in the same place?"
"Yup! Sachiko onee-sama. I won't disturb you now, so seeya on Sunday then."
"Ok, goodbye for now."
Thanks, Touko, I really needed that distraction from my thoughts for a while.
In fact, it seems that I feel more at ease and more like my old self after I see Touko. I wondered why many times, but to no avail.
I can't explain why either, but I figured that there's no use in thinking too much about it. The brain cells are better used for solving the problems faced during the rehearsal of the school festival tomorrow.
Being Rosa Chinensis is stressful, but I will not bow down to this challenge!
I.. will not lose.
I…. must not falter..
I have to be strong. But, it's getting harder and harder to do so. I… can't breathe, can't move along any longer.. The constant façade in front of others, the pursuit of future that drains me so. A parched person lying under the mercy of the desert, the bare wild which hides nothing and shows nothing. For it itself is a symbol of void. But I am one who persists on seeking the source of life.
The oasis. The only hope of salvation for me. The hope that gives me strength to cross the desert.
If one even exist for a person like me.
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(Yumi's POV)
She doing it again. Sitting on her favourite seat by the window, the rigid posture indicating that she's focused on something beyond the glass, something that interests her.
I saw something more, more than she let on. The sharpness of her gaze, the fixated set of her jaw and her clenched fists – fists that showed whiteness of bone – told me more than anything else that she……
…was thinking about Kashiwagi-san again.
--You love him, don't you? It must be hard to marry someone you love and not have then love you back.--
--It's alright Yumi, I loved him once, but it's all in the past now.--
Onee-sama, you lied.
But most of all, you lied to yourself.
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A/N: Hehheh… a chapter that focuses on Sachiko. Took me a really long time to write, for I have very little understanding of Sachiko's character. I don't think I completely grasped her, but it well worth a try. )
And yea! I got 3 reviews so far. I'll be working hard! Cookies for everyone who reviewed!