Hey, what's that on the horizon? Why, it's chapter 5! Drop anchor and prepare to board!
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"Okay, putting Lee out of our minds, the next house is the Yamanaka house." Temari instructed. Gaara was still kinda confused.
They landed without a hitch, and got down the chimney just fine. The three munched on the cookies while reviewing Ino's letter.
"Dear Santa, all I want for Christmas this year is SASUKE! Oh, he's so dreamy, with his hair, and badassery, I'm getting woozy just thinking about him! Please, please, please give me my Sasuke! Sincerely, Ino."
The three of them exchanged glances.
"Well, technically we could...but, we can't..." Temari pondered.
"She does really want Sasuke. And we can give him to her..." Kankuro shrugged.
"Let's do it, it'll be funny." Gaara smirked, and climbed up the chimney. Minutes later, they returned to the Yamanaka house, with one extra in tow.
"This is so not right." Temari huffed as they propped Sasuke's limp body in a chair. "I'm sure this is illegal."
"Illegal, but hilarious." Gaara smiled back. His siblings thought he was enjoying this way too much.
"It is kinda funny..." Kankuro decided. "Want to put him in a pose or something?"
He and Gaara then experimented putting Sasuke in different poses. Temari just glared in disapprovingly.
"Oh oh, how about this one?" Kankuro suggested, getting a martini glass out of the kitchen, and some sunglasses and lotion out of Santa's sack. Temari and Gaara looked on as Kankuro set up.
"Ta da!"
Sasuke now sat in the chair, with a martini in his hand. He had the lotion sloppily applied to his nose, and was wearing the sunglasses. Kankuro had also taped his face so it looked like he was smiling. The martini even had a little umbrella.
"Who's ready to hit the beach?" Kankuro laughed. Gaara didn't laugh, but cracked a huge grin. Temari started giggling despite herself, and eventually she and Kankuro collapsed into fits of laughter. Gaara just kept on smiling.
"Wow, I wish I could be here when she wakes up." Kankuro smirked, wiping away a tear. "All right, let's get going."
The three of them were still chuckling as they flew to the next house.
"Okay, this is the Nara house, right?" Kankuro asked. Temari checked the list and nodded. They slid down the chimney, and were greeted by the sounds of the T.V. Shikamaru sat on the couch, watching Robot Chicken reruns. He turned his head and looked at the three for a second, then frowned.
"You killed Santa, didn't you?"
"No, no we...okay, so we did." Temari gave up. "How did you figure it out so quickly?"
"I watch more Tim Allen movies than is good for my health."
They stood there for a minute, then joined Shikamaru in the living room.
"So, why aren't you asleep? Aren't you lazy?" Kankuro asked.
"Nocturnal. Plus, my idiot doctor gave me these." Shikamaru held up a bottle of pills. "He said I have ADD, since I did so badly on all my tests back in the academy days, so he gave me prozac. But you know what? It's not even prozac! It's bloody sugar pills. I popped three, and now I even have the energy to blink. It sucks."
"Boo hoo." Gaara mocked. Shikamaru sighed and poured a bottle of liquid.
"Sake anyone?"
"Shikamaru, we're all underage here, and I don't think it's a good ide..." Temari began, but was shoved out of the way by Kankuro.
"Don't mind if I do!"
Later, after an undetermined amount of time has passed...
"Dude, your ceiling is like...wow..." Kankuro slurred.
"Oh yeah? Well your sister is like...wow...so I win." Shikamaru declared, crossing his arms. Temari leaned over to slap him, but missed wildly and crashed right through the Nara's nice glass coffee table.
"Hee..Take that you tramp." Gaara hiccupped.
"Hey Gaara, you look thirsty. Want some water?" Shikamaru asked, tipping to the side slightly. Gaara shook his head.
"No man, you don't need water. Have you ever seen anyone die from not having enough water?"
Kankuro nodded, "Yeah, it happens all the time."
"No, you don't see it, you just hear about it. It's all part of the conspiracy."
"Dude, you're a genius." Shikamaru said, and tried to give Gaara a high five but instead slipped and collided with the corner of the couch.
"SHIKAMARU, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING UP AT THIS HOUR?"
The sound of Shikamaru's angry mother was enough to sober everyone up real fast.
"Oh crap, it's my mom! Hurry, get outta here!"
The three took his advice to heart, and skedaddled. Once they were back in the sleigh...
"OW." Temari winced as she began pulling glass shards out of herself.
"Chock up another thing on the list of times we never mention again." Kankuro chuckled, but instantly held his head. "Ow...my head..."
"Someone else saw me in this damn outfit." Gaara realized. "Someone's gotta die."
Kankuro and Temari looked at each other nervously, but Gaara's sand didn't head for them, but instead went off the side of the sled. Gaara looked angry for a few seconds, then his features relaxed.
"I feel better."
"Who did you..."
"Hobo."
"Oh."
There was an awkward silence in the air for a while, but it eventually dissipated. Gaara kills hobo's with alarming regularity.
"So where to next?" Kankuro asked.
"The Inuzuka household."
So the siblings flew a little ways out of town, since the Inuzuka's need room for their dogs to run around. All three of them noticed the stench the minute they landed.
"Oh god." Kankuro whined, plugging his nose. 'It smells like wet dog, dry dog, burnt dog, and every other kind of dog in between."
"Let's get this one fast, okay?" Temari suggested. The two rushed down the chimney, but Gaara paused long enough to notice the crooked old sign posted on the side of the chimney.
"Beware of ninja dogs." he read. Gaara thought about this for a moment, and decided maybe he'd wait in the sleigh.
"Okay, that's all the presents, come on Temari let's go." Kankuro ordered. Temari was about to join him when she felt something bump her leg. She looked down to see an adorable puppy, maybe not more than two weeks old.
"Oh my gosh Kankuro, look at this little guy! He's sooo cute!" she squealed, and picked up the little puppy. Kankuro moaned and looked over at Temari.
"Come on Temari, this place smells really bad. I want to get..go..." Kankuro suddenly stopped.
"Hmm? What's wrong?' Temari asked, looking at the frightened expression on her brothers face. She felt something large and wet hit the top of her head, and looked up to see the maw of a huge canine. It let out a low growl.
"Oh. You must be his daddy! I'll just put him down and leave you two alone."
Much to the siblings chagrin, several more large dogs popped out from behind things.
"Nice Doggies?" Kankuro squeaked.
Gaara looked towards the chimney with interest, due to the screams coming out from it.
"Oh god, don't bite me there!"
"Gaara! Help!"
There was a minute of screams and scraping, and Kankuro got about halfway out of the chimney before something started pulling him back down. He managed to hold on to the top with his fingers.
"Gaara!"
Gaara lazily walked over, and looked down at Kankuro's scratched up face. Temari was still screaming in the background.
"Brother, help me!" Kankuro pleaded, as the dog attached to his ankle wriggled around a bit. Gaara was stone faced for a minute, then stepped on Kankuro's fingers.
"Ouch!"
Gaara leaned in close to Kankuro, and whispered in his ear,
"Long live the king."
He then kicked Kankuro back down the chimney.
"AAHHHH!"
"Why the hell did you do that?" Kankuro asked ten minutes later, when they were back in the air.
"Eh." Gaara replied.
"And you! You just had to pick up the damn puppy!"
"It's not my fault Gaara killed all our pets when we were kids! Maybe if he didn't I could have controlled my reflex!"
"Eh." Gaara stated again. There's no arguing with Gaara.
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Chapter 5 is finished! Poor Temari really got beat up this chapter...and Gaara's little thing was Lion King based, if you didn't know.
See you in chapter 6!
