Huzzah chapter 7!

And as a heads up, there's another sorta Disney quote in here. It's been changed a little, but it is still recognizable. Can you find it?

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"I really hope he's dead." Gaara dryly commented.

"We all do Gaara, we all do." Kankuro comforted. "Where to next Temari?"

"Mitarashi Anko's house."

So they flew over to Anko's abode, and all slid down the chimney. The minute they hit bottom however, they felt the strange sensation of going back up.

"...Kankuro?"

"Yes?"

"We wouldn't happen to be trapped in a net, would we?"

Kankuro tugged a few times on the net they were trapped in.

"Seems that way."

The lights flicked on, and Anko stood there with a manic grin on her face.

"DINNER!" She squealed. The trio went wide eyed with displeasure.

Minutes later they were chained up to chairs in Anko's special meat locker.

"I really feel bad for Santa now." Temari sighed. "He has to put up with this crap every year."

"He gets through it fine, considering he doesn't have two totally incompetent siblings by his side." Gaara fumed.

"I hope she's joking about the whole dinner thing..." Kankuro prayed. Anko came into the locker room with a large pig carcass, whistling. She pulled out a un-necessarily large knife and began hacking away at the pig.

"Home, Home on the range,

Where the ninja are locked up in chains,

And I stab them in the sides,

And I rip off their hides,

And tomorrow I'll do it again..."

She turned to the three, smirking.

"I made that up."

Temari and Kankuro smiled, hoping that the police would arrive in the next fifteen seconds. Anko turned to the not smiling sibling, and kneeled down in front of him.

"What's wrong?" she asked in almost a motherly way.

"I've been having a very bad evening."

"Do you need a friend?"

"No."

"But Mr. Cutco needs a friend." she pouted, spinning her knife dangerously. "Won't you be his friend?"

"I would rather have a thousand shards of flaming glass forcibly shoved into my colon by a blind mentally handicapped man than be associated with anything that involves you."

"Zing!" Kankuro cheered. Gaara gave him a death glare.

"Wrong answer!" Anko snapped, and slashed at Gaara. Temari screamed, Kankuro winced, and Gaara just glared more (a poor defense, mind you). Anko stopped inches in front of his face, and started cracking up in laughter. She unchained the siblings, and led them back to the chimney.

"I'm just playin'. Now get out of here you little scamps."

They certainly didn't need a second urging as they practically flew up the chimney.

"What a psycho!" Kankuro commented. "Lets get to the next house as quickly as possible. Okay guys?"

He looked back to see Temari looking disgusted and Gaara retracting his bloody sand into the sleigh.

"Gaara, could you stop killing hobos?"

"No."

"..."

So after a bit more awkward silence, they flew over to Tenten's house. Unfortunately, it was not a smooth landing.

"Ice!" Kankuro yelled as the sleigh skidded out of control. He managed to stop it using Santa's patented ice brakes, but they were tipping at a peculiar angle.

"Thanks Kankuro, my innards really needed a good shaking." Temari scoffed as they climbed out of the sleigh.

"Shut up, it's not like I could help it."

So they began the slow and slippery walk to the chimney. Gaara was almost there, when the not so sure footed sand ninja lost his footing and slid down the side of the roof.

"Gaara!"

He grabbed onto the lights hanging from the gutter, and dangled there for a second. He was staring into a window at a very startled looking Tenten. The two peered at each other for a moment, then the gutter snapped like the cheap plastic it was and Gaara fell. Tenten shook her head, and wondered what was in that Christmas goose.

"Gaara, you okay?" Kankuro called, peering over the edge of the roof. One of the snowbanks below wiggled a bit, and Gaara's muffled voice came out from it.

"I hate Christmas."

"We're going inside, we'll open the door for you okay?" Temari shouted.

"I'll get in myself." Gaara retorted, standing up and brushing himself off. The other two siblings shrugged, and went down the chimney.

"I wonder how Gaara's going to get in?" Temari wondered. Suddenly there was a terrific bang from the kitchen. Kankuro and Temari rushed in to see Gaara walking in through a large hole where the door used to be.

"You destroyed their door!" Temari screeched

"Just a little bit." Gaara smirked.

"Who's going to pay for that?" Kankuro yelled.

"Not us. Let's go."

And they dropped off the rest of the presents rather quickly (they could hear Tenten's dad upstairs) and flew away.

"Dammit Gaara, don't do that! We could have gotten in a lot of trouble!" Temari scolded. Gaara just looked away and sulked.

"Next house?" Kankuro asked from up front.

Temari sighed and took out the list.

"Looks like Tsunade's."

Minutes later they arrived at the Hokage building. The sand trio were surprised to see the Hokage lying on the floor, surrounded by beer bottles, and quite topless.

"That's disgusting. Come on guys, help me with the presents." Temari ordered. "Guys?"

Kankuro and Gaara were blatantly staring at Tsunade's chest. Gaara's eyes were very wide, and Kankuro had a nosebleed.

"Oh for pete's sake..." Temari huffed. She tried moving the two, but they wouldn't budge. She eventually just gave up and did this run herself.

"Okay, you two have been staring at her for about twenty minutes now. We have to go!"

"Five more minutes..." Kankuro sighed. Temari curled her hand up in a fist, and stomped back to the sleigh.

"I can wait. They'll get bored of those things eventually." she said, putting her feet up on th dashboard.

1 hour later

"...ENOUGH!" she yelled, snatching her fan. She summoned her sickle weasel, and demolished the whole house. Kankuro and Gaara emerged from the rubble, looking very distraught.

"What did you do that for?" Kankuro whined.

"YOU TWO. SLEIGH. NOW!" She barked. Even Gaara dutifully obeyed his angry sister. The trio abandoned the wreckage, and flew into the night.

"Uzumaki house." Temari snapped before Kankuro could ask.

"Geez, why so angry? We're guys, it's natural."

"Is spending an hour an twenty minutes staring at a woman's chest natural?"

"Okay, so we may have dawdled a teensy bit..." Kankuro admitted. Gaara was just sitting with a pleased look on his face.

"Just shut up and drive." Temari growled.

They eventually reached Naruto's house, and jumped down the chimney. Kankuro almost hit bottom, when he stopped.

"Ouch!"

"Ow!"

"Kankuro, are you stuck?" Gaara asked.

"...maybe."

"And you were making fun of fat people earlier!" Temari shouted.

"I'm not fat! This chimney is just too small!"

"Of course it is. Tubby."

"Just be quiet and pass me some butter."

"Don't eat it on us." Temari giggled, grabbing some butter out of Santa's sack.

A few buttery moments later, thy were inside Naruto's house.

"Good lord, it almost smells as bad as that dog place." Temari cringed, pinching her nose. There was garbage everywhere, and every step they took was very noisy. As they were walking to the Charlie Brown-esque tree, Gaara tripped over something rather meaty. He glared at the offending object, which happened to be Naruto.

"Bloody blonde haired idiot." Gaara mumbled, and gave Naruto a solid kick in the back. But he did not wake. Gaara then started unabashedly kicking the poor sleepy sap with gusto.

"Okay, we finished with the presents Gaara...GAARA!" Kankuro bellowed.

"It's okay, he's an idiot." Gaara said, as if that gave him all the rights in the world. His brother and sister had to drag him away from the helpless Naruto.

"I feel much better." Gaara exclaimed as they continued on.

--

It's done!

Happy September everybody! Now go share some buttery moments with your friends.