Disclaimer: I own nothing. Simple as that. Don't hound me for money. I'm poor.
Notes: -- word – indicates memories or flashbacks.
Warning: Err… I dunno. It's up to you I guess.
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(Yumi's POV)
Yumi, I'm sorry.
Onee-sama?
I opened my eyes groggily, staring at the familiar but yet foreign ceiling as I tried to recall what happened. I could feel my brows folding together as I attempted to rub sleep out of my eyes, enjoying this temporary bliss in the quiet and dark atmosphere.
Wait a moment… it's dark outside?
Dust started floating around as I shifted my position on the bed.
"Ah-choo!"
Why was I sleeping on such a dusty bed? No… why is my room so full of dust?
I took a look around the room, taking in the familiar surroundings slowly as my eyes adjusted to the dim light. This place seemed to be unused for a long time, with all the cobwebs hanging around the corners of the room.
Where am I? What am I doing here? This isn't the apartment that I'm living in, it's much bigger than the cramped space I'm used to. Have I been in here before?
I caught sight of a brown paw sticking out from a nearby wardrobe, and looking as inconspicuous as it could be.Out of curiosity, I went over and pulled it out.
Eh? Isn't this teddy bear Kyo-chan? Is this the house…?
I glanced around the room once again, as gaps were being filled in my memories. That's right… this IS my house. When did it start looking like something that came out from a storybook on haunted houses? It's only been around half a year and it already looks like it's going to collapse anytime soon. I can't believe it... How could I almost not recognize my own house?
I peered out of the window, idly stroking the fur of the brown bear in my arm as I admired the dark shadow of the miniature wilderness that used to be the garden. I couldn't remember why I was sleeping here till such a late hour.
Why did I come back here? Neither Yuuki nor I have been back at this house since the last Christmas when our parents called us to say that they will be in the States till the next Christmas. And how long have I been sleeping here?
Don't you recall?
My hand moved to my left cheek on its own accord.
That's right…… You finally remembered the reason.
Onee-sama…
I clutched tightly onto Kyo-chan, trying to will away all the pain that came crashing back to me at the thought of her – the fight, the slap, the tears, the rain - trying to keep away from all the whispers which condemned my worthlessness while I still could; while I still wanted to.
It didn't work. I couldn't block it out…
You're useless, Yumi. So totally useless. You are such a waste to the remaining of Earth's already scarce resources. You couldn't even persuade Sachiko without making use of her weak points, and, not to mention, you ran away from her after she slapped you instead of clearing things up with her or trying to apologize for your actions. You're simply just so pathetic, and so selfish that the thought of you makes me puke. It's no wonder that Sachiko shuns away from you and looks for Touko and Kashiwagi to relief the stress that she feels. On top of that, you just HAD to remind her of something that she tries so hard to avoid talking about. I wonder how she manages to keep you by her side for so long.
You, Yumi, if you had any sense left in your brain, would know better than to continue staying beside her. Unless of course, your selfishness is to such a degree that you need her in your life to make you feel better. How weak you are, if it's so. I guess that all the maturity and the ability to handle things you portrayed were just a show……
Stop it! STOP IT!
Stop it…… I know… I know I'm pathetic……
It's time for the darkness to devour you again.
But this time… you are all alone…… alone to face the four forbidding walls with no means of escaping back home at this late hour.
At 01:00 am on this day, I was prepared to surrender to the darkness that draws me in like tongues of flames. Again.
……… Onee-sama…
All I ever wanted was to do my part… and live up to what was expected of me…… I never wanted to create more trouble for you, or deliberately pour salt upon your open wounds… I was supposed to help you heal, supposed to support you and make you happy… but all I've done now is to make you hate me.
Hate.
Ain't I right? That could only be the reason you avoided me. You must have hated me so much that spending any more time than what was necessary was painful for you. I was the one holding all onto the false hopes… Maybe it's time for me to wake up from my dream…
Just lie down and just let it through, Yumi…… Learn from the flames. Let this be the last time that you will ever sink so far again. If you insist on it…
Onee-sama… This shall be the last time… Forgive me…
Your tears… Your smile… Your anger… Your happiness… You.
Kyo-chan was stained with tears that night.
But it's my tears that make that makes me feel alive… makes me feel as if there was still hope…
It's the last time you're gonna cry, isn't it?
I fell into the land of dreams… just this one last day for me to dream about her…
Just today… Let me indulge in my selfishness for one last day…
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A/N: - I'm still drunk from the sake. Lols -
This is a short chapter on Yumi this time. Next chapter's going to be a little on the happier note, and it's longer. Ya… I know I keep telling myself to concentrate on homework, but my fingers are itching to type instead. T.T So I'd suppose that some of you are glad to see me?
Hehhehs…
I think I'm gonna write about Sei next… decision is still prone to mood changes :P Maybe you guys can give me some hints?
And yup, thanks to everyone for your reviews and criticism. I think I'm improving slowly from all the encouragement and help you've given me. Don't hesitate to email me or anything to point out my mistakes or to give me some fresh ideas…
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