Disclaimer: I do not own anything from Maria-sama ga Miteru. I'm poor too, so don't even try to sue me.
Notes:
Ojou-sama – Miss, a formality
Konichiwa – Good afternoon
Ano – Erm…
Arigatou – Thank you
Gomenasai or Gomen - sorry
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(Sachiko's POV)
It's Saturday.
It's been only a night… and perhaps some few hours more. Only this amount of time had passed.
It's another day… yet another common day. I don't want to get up from my bed, I don't want to awake from slumber.
But I can't do any of these.
Put my shackles on again.
Again and again… Forever… A pulchritudinous doll trapped in a dollhouse.
So totally helpless… so fragile, so weak that anyone who comes by can play with it.
Throw it around. Squash it. Tear it up. Do whatever you want to… and it can't even give a grumble. No, it isn't even allowed to talk.
Imbecile.
Dolls.
I hated dolls. They're weak. Useless. Pointless. And everything else that I hated.
Above all, I detest the fact that they allow themselves to be manipulated.
But I collect them. Dolls that are broken and torn.
Ifix them. Needle to cloth, thread to holes - one stitch at a time till it's beautiful again.
Because I see myself in them.
I wanted them to remain lovely, and at least… with me… they aren't abused.
Not anymore.
But if only I were them.
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"Ojou-sama, Touko-sama is waiting in the living room for you."
"Miko-san, please convey my message to her that I will be joining her shortly. I need some time to don myself for the trip and make myself presentable."
"I will convey your message to her. Ojou-sama, do you need anything else?"
"No, there's nothing else that I need."
"I shall excuse myself now, Ojou-sama."
That's right, I'm supposed to go out with Touko today. She has always been trying hard to catch me in school, wanting to talk to me more and spend more time with me.
Slowly… as time went by, I found myself warming up to her more. She didn't seem as bad as I thought she was when I first met her. Gradually, as I spent more time with her… I found that somewhere inside her, she actually genuinely cares for her friends and family. It was just that she chose to portray herself like this to prevent herself being exposed.
She's alike me… in this sense… both entwined in a fate that was not ours to decide.
But…… there's still difference between us. At the very least she didn't succumb to this. Or allow herself to be this pathetic…
I touched the half-healed cut on my arm.
I once swore to Maria-sama that I wouldn't do it again.
But I broke our oath… I broke it… and I can offer nothing to amend. I could only let time try to heal it; like how it heals the cut…
Maria… will you punish me for breaking my promise?
I went into the walk-in wardrobe connected to my room. I had everything I wanted in here… all different kinds and styles of clothes and lingerie available for me. All I needed was to choose…
So many choices… But all leads to the same path…
I wandered around, looking at the array of overcoats, gowns, sportswear and all other wearing apparels. How could I not have noticed that I owned such a wide range of clothing? There was even a whole collection of kimonos at one side. I never would have guessed that Miko-san had to go through this amount of clothes just to pick one for me…
How much exactly did I miss out on my life?
I paused in my tracks.
An overcoat stared at me right in the face, as though it's trying to look as innocent as possible under my scrutiny. Even so, its midnight colour contrasted greatly with the late morning sun, so much so that I couldn't take my eyes off it...
This overcoat…… isn't this what I wore when Yumi and I went on our first date…
I ran my fingers over the material, feeling the harsh texture of the fabric on the inside of the coat. But yet… this roughness was cloaked by the satin soft fur that was present on the outer layer. So completely hidden that one wouldn't know how it was inside till one wore it.
Such alikeness to the people and the society.
Even though so… there's always one exception……
Yumi…
She never was able to hide anything… her heart was always worn on her sleeve; plain and in sight for everyone to see. Everyone knew when she was feeling sad; people also knew, without a doubt, when she was happy…
I stroked the coat fondly… Yumi's hands were placed right here… on this very sleeve.
Her hands were warm… her cheeks flushed pink against the falling temperature of autumn…
Yumi…
How I longed for those times to be back… but it isn't the same anymore. You wouldn't look at me in the eyes; you wouldn't stay with me any longer than necessary; and you…
You no longer needed me…
That's right… you had your own beliefs; your own thoughts. You are no longer the Yumi that I first knew… this Yumi is now a well-grown rose to be, preparing to flower anytime when the older roses starts to wilt… wilt and be replaced by fresh new roses like you…
Yumi…
Yumi…
Yumi. Yumi. Yumi. Yumi. Yumi!
Yumi…
I…
Why are you so cold towards me? Is it because of me? Is it because of my actions to you? Or is it simply because you don't care anymore?
……
Is it because I'm not perfect enough for you? Because I showed flaws to you and you thought me weak? Because I wasn't a good enough Onee-sama?
Tell me… I want to know.
I want to know why you cried after I slapped you…
But more so… I wanted to know why I hit you…
I wanted to know why I lost my control…
I've never thought I would lay a hand on you… for this… I'm sorry. But sorry is all what I can do… isn't it?
Will you ever forgive me?
I heard a distinct voice through the wooden door of my room, jarring me out of my thoughts.
"Sachiko-sama! Are you done yet? You're taking eons to change!"
Ah… there's no other voice that sounds quite like her. I'm sure she could wake a rock with that voice of hers.
"Gomenasai, Touko-chan. Give me five more minutes."
"Okay, I'll wait downstairs then. Don't take too long! Time wouldn't wait for you!"
Time wouldn't wait… and it's ticking by at its own pace.
Closing my eyes, I just walked around the room, pausing at times to pick up some clothes at random. After choosing which combination goes best, I donned them and stepped out to the living room.
Touko was waiting there for me, giving me a pout like always. But her pout soon changed into a look of surprise as she realized what I was wearing.
Jeans… and a sea-green shirt accompanied by a pale blue jacket.
It wasn't something I'd worn in my lifetime.
Yumi chose all these for me.
Just somehow… somehow…
I picked them out…
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(Yumi's POV)
I took in the time that was flashing in neon on the restaurant's building.
02:35pm
Dang it, I was still late despite taking a cab here… and I just had to get caught in a traffic jam.
"Konichiwa, Yumi-san. It's been some time since I last saw you here. How have you been?"
"Still the same old me, Tsuzuki-san. Ano… has a certain Satou Sei arrived yet?"
"Oh, you must mean Sei-san. She came with a friend about two hours ago, but her friend left already. She's at table 73, but I'm not sure whether she left or not. I'm not taking the waiter duty today."
"Arigatou, Tsuzuki-san."
"Anytime for you, Yumi-san. Do call on me if you need anything else."
Sei-sama came with a friend? That must mean that she's already got an appointment before me… Why did she tell me that she has none?
I should ask her about it when I see her… Where was table 73 again?
If I'm not wrong, it should be on the west wing of the restaurant… I haven't been here to dine for some time now.
Not since…
No, I shouldn't be thinking about it yet… I have to ask Sei some questions while I'm still clear headed. I have to clarify what I felt… I have to know…
Why did it hurt so much… why does it always hurt…
I searched the area, glancing around for a glimpse of the short blonde hair that belonged to Sei-sama. But no matter how hard I looked, I don't see her. I moved myself over to the only empty table in the room, half-praying that it was the right table and that Sei-sama hadn't left yet.
Table number 73. And Sei-sama wasn't in sight.
!sigh!
I did miss her after all… She must have been bored after waiting such a long time for me and just left.
You're now on your own, Yumi.
Table, dear table… tell me… Tell me what my feelings are, tell me why it seemed that the world had turned a shade more grey, why colours in my life seemed to diminish steadily over the past few weeks…
Tell me why I couldn't feel anything else but sadness and weariness.
But I guess you wouldn't even if you could talk… right?
"Yumi-chan!"
……?
I whirled around in my seat at the call of my name…
"Oof!"
… And got half my lifeforce knocked out of me.
Sei hadn't left.
"Oya, Yumi-chan. You were so late today; I got bored at waiting for almost an hour for you."
"Gomenasai, Sei-sama. I got caught in the traffic."
I felt a pressure building up on my head as she moved her hands.
"Ow! Ow! Sei-sama! I'm sorry, I'm sorry for being late! Stop doing that already! Ouch!"
She just flashed a cheeky grin at me, before letting go of my head.
"Remember, Yumi-chan. That's what you'll get for making me wait so long!"
"Gomen… I'll remember not to let you wait the next time."
Thank you, Sei-sama, for always being here for me and making me feel better like always…
"Well then, shall we order some food?"
"Ara, Yumi-chan is hungry too? Did some teasing sap your energy so much?"
"Sei-sama…"
She didn't change, even after all this time. I noticed that she grew her hair back to shoulder length again. I wonder was there a significance on the length of her hair.
"Oi! Any waiters around? There two hungry people waiting to be fed here!"
Everyone else paused in their eating, and stared incredulously at me and her.
Ack… some things really didn't change after all.
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A/N: Yes! I finally got this out of my head. Been having writer's block lately due to exam stress, but your reviews revived me! I hope this chapter isn't bad or anything though… -.-;; Anyways… -throws many chibi Sei and Yumi dolls around- Hehehe… I'm in the giving mood today (courtesy of Hoppy-chan). Grab as many as you want!
Ah… the next update… shall have to see whether I got the time and inspiration to write… Thanks to my steadfast reviewers for constantly giving me support to write more!
Hais… Sachiko… my dear Sachiko… what will happen to you? T.T
P.S: Don't ask me what's with the dolls.