Chapter 4

Paul opened his eyes and felt the peace he'd felt over the last few weeks. It was contentment about having Bella in his arms when he woke up in the morning, the utter satisfaction he felt having her close to him after a long night of passionate sex and cuddling; yeah, he'd become a cuddler and Paul fucking loved it. It didn't happen very often, maybe once and if he got lucky twice a week, but it was enough for now.

It was Sunday morning, and Bella didn't have to wake up yet. It was just after eight, and she would open the shop at ten. The past weeks had been crazy busy for her, but Bella had told him that things would settle for a bit before the Christmas season started. Paul often wondered where she found all that energy from, but it must be as she had told him: she loved what she did.

Bella was lying on her side, her back pressed against his front side. Her long hair spread over her pillow and Paul's. He marveled at her round hips and the curve of her waist. He lightly brushed his finger over her frame and kissed her shoulder softly. For a girl who has lived her entire life in sunny California, her skin was very light. He loved how their different skin tones matched, his dark to her light. Chocolate and vanilla. Just perfect together.

He was fucking happy. He knew that Bella was falling for him, even though she wasn't ready to acknowledge it to herself yet. She kept her distance most of the time, but the nights they had just shared showed him what she truly felt. But he could be patient and was ready to wait for her to discover how she felt.

When they started to sleep together, Bella had told him that she had been seeing another guy casually who didn't live in San Francisco, that she liked him and occasionally chatted on the phone. Paul, of course, knew she was talking about Embry. Paul knew that Bella hadn't seen him since Paul saw them together in La push, and he was going to make sure she didn't want to hook up with Embry anymore. The whole idea was driving him mad. Surely, she didn't want that brat anymore.

Paul had a day off today, and he had offered to help Bella tidy up the storage room. Thomas was on a three-day holiday in Los Angeles, and Bella was happy to have someone to help her. She was waiting for a big book delivery; they were stocking for Christmas.

Paul turned to his back and closed his eyes. He needed to find a job. The food fairs were on their last week, and Paul didn't have any intention to go back to La Push permanently. Sam and Emily's wedding was in two weeks, and he was going back to help them on Monday and was planning to stay till the day after the wedding. But after all that shit was over, he would be ready to move here and never go back.

Bella stirred next to him so did his dick.

"Good morning, gorgeous," he turned back to her and whispered.

"Oh, Paul, you're awake already," Bella said, her voice thick with sleep. Her sexy voice made his dick harder still. She turned around and kissed his chest.

"Yeah, I always hate wasting time sleeping when I'm with you," Paul murmured into her hair, pulled her closer, and lifted her leg over his hip. He thrust his erection between her legs. He wanted so bad to push in, but Bella was very strict about using condoms, so he just teased her entrance, making them both moan.

Bella pushed him on his back and reached for the bedside table for a condom.

"Shit, there isn't any," Bella cursed.

Paul felt quite smug; there had been at least 20 when he opened that drawer the first time.

"Fuck, I don't have any with me," Paul then remembered; he'd been trusting in her supply.

"What are we going to do now," Bella whispered, biting his earlobe. Shivers went through his body, and his dick twisted.

She continued kissing him, little pecks, nips, and licks, and when she reached his other nipple and nipped, she nipped pretty hard, as he liked it. His back arched, and he let out a deep moan.

"Jesus Bella."

She smiled against his pec and continued tracing the hard lines of his muscles, licking down to his abdomen and blowing lightly on moist skin, making him shiver with anticipation. He lifted his arms and grabbed the headboard tightly.

Finally, she reached his crotch, and she kissed lightly the leaking top of his cock and sucked him into her mouth. Nirvana, that what this was, a fucking Nirvana. Bella cupped his balls and bobbed her head on his dick.

There was a loud banging on Bella's door. They were both startled by the loud noise.

"Christ almighty! Sorry, Paul, I have to open it. Beth is away."

Paul groaned, and Bella jumped off the bed and, wrapping her robe over her gorgeous body, left the bedroom, closing the door softly.

Bella came back fast, and all possibilities of getting off by Bella's mouth vanished when Bella went to her bathroom and came back with a plumber.

"There is some kind of blockage in the bathroom at the guestroom."

"You need help?" Paul asked; he wanted to help.

"Sure, I hope it's something we can do without calling a plumber," Bella said as she pulled on some sweats and a t-shirt.

Embry was feeling shit. Every day his anxiety rose to a new high. He had difficulties concentrating on his work, and he even slept poorly. It had been two and half months since he'd last seen Bella. They had chatted and had phone sex a few times, but it wasn't enough for him. Not even close.

And what was adding to his anxiety tenfold was that Bella had told him that she had been seeing someone. He hadn't been able to stop himself from asking her was she dating the other guy. Bella had said to him that they'd been on a date twice, and he had stayed the night a few times, but it was nothing serious. Just a bit of fun. "He is nice, but so are you."

Well, fuck that. Goddamn, how Embry hoped she wouldn't do that.

He had had a couple of hook-ups in Port Angeles when he had gone clubbing with Jacob and Quil. He was a horny 20-year-old, but he just didn't feel anything for those other girls anymore. He wasn't sure how long he could get it up with anybody else than Bella. She was all he could think about, and he thought about her all the time, even when he'd fucked someone else, especially then.

So, Embry concentrated on doing things he didn't need to think about and could use his pent-up energy: He worked out at the gym and ran whenever he had time. He was lying on his bed after a 10-mile run and a long shower. Euphoria from the run was there, and he wouldn't survive without that; it was the only thing that kept him from sliding into darkness.

His phone buzzed. He groaned when moving to grab it from the bedside table. His heart leaped into his throat; it was Bella.

"Hi Bella," he answered, unable to hold the smile on his face. His heart hammered in his chest.

"Hi Em, how are you?" came her sweet voice making him instantly hard. Shit, he was a lost cause.

"I'm ok. How about you?" He could hardly say how he was doing. Pathetic.

"It's been crazy these past weeks, months even. But I have a bit more time after this week. Beth comes back from New York, and Thomas is back from his short holiday. I've finished the numbers for the accountant, and the damn Tea fair is finally over, although it was great to meet people my mother had known. I hadn't realized how many people knew her," Bella told him. "But I just can't understand how much people can talk about tea. It's insane," Bella laughed.

God, how he missed her.

"Well, I guess everybody has their passion," Embry said. You are mine. "I can talk about the right light in the photos for hours and never stop."

"Yeah, you can," Bella chirped. "I never knew one could be so obsessed about the light. Hey, I would love to see you. How can we make it happen this time?" Bella asked, taking him by surprise. So far, it had been mainly him suggesting their get-togethers.

"We have to figure out something. I can ask Maddy to look after my dad, and I could hop on the plane. You were here last time anyway, and to be honest, I need to get out of here. This shit hole is driving me crazy," Embry said. He couldn't wait to get away, to get to her. To be able to touch her again, make love to her. Fuck how he missed her.

"You would do that?" Bella asked.

"For sure. When?"

"Whenever suites you. I mean, things here will be manageable until the Christmas season starts. I'm hiring part timer to help us this year; I've learned my lesson."

"Yes, what you've told me you need extra hands in the shop and café."

"Yeah, probably even two sets of hands."

"I need to check with my dad and check the flights, but I'll try to come next weekend. I won't be able to get Maddy to look after my dad just in two days. She needs to be noticed a bit earlier," Embry said, not even trying to hide his enthusiasm; he was over the fucking moon to be able to see her again.

"That's alright. Just let me know when you're coming. I'm not going anywhere," Bella laughed. "So how are things. How's work?"

Bella liked to hear about his job at the local primary school. He had got the job as an art teacher when the teacher holding the position had gotten into an accident, and they needed someone fast. His old teacher had called him and asked if he could come in as a substitute teacher.

This was a year ago, and they had wanted him to stay. They'd said that having a young male teacher was considered a good thing for the community. And even though he wasn't a qualified teacher, he got the natural talent to be with kids. He had even done some online courses to get some formal competence. And he loved the job, not as much as his other one: photography, but he enjoyed spending time with the kids; they taught him at least as much as he taught them, if not more.

Between two jobs and the financial assistance his terminally ill father got, they could pay the bills and keep food on the table. Embry saved every penny he could to pay the nurse to come to take care of his father. He hadn't told Bella this; she didn't need to know how much effort it took him to make it possible for him to see her. It was supposed to be casual, nothing serious. Well, that boat had sailed for Embry a long time ago.

Bella told him more about the crazy tea fair and the Swedish guests who had come to stay for a week. He wanted to know if she was still seeing the other guy she'd mentioned, but he didn't want to ask, and she didn't mention him.

They talked for over an hour, and after they finished the phone call, Embry went to speak with his father.

"Dad, I was thinking about going to San Francisco to meet Bella next weekend. I don't have any photoshoots booked until the second week in October."

"You haven't seen Bella lately," his father stated. He sat in his wheelchair newspaper on his lap. He was making the crossroad on the last page.

"No, I haven't. She's swamped and doesn't have time to catch up."

"I haven't seen you with anybody else for a long time either. What about Leah?" his father inquired. He loved to know what was happening in Embry's life, but he had been shutting down lately—and feeling shit about it.

"What about her?" Embry asked. He didn't like to talk about Leah. There was nothing to talk about, nothing that didn't make him feel guilty anyway.

"You used to date her. I thought she was your girlfriend of sorts."

"I did date her, but now she's just a friend," Embry said.

"Does she know that?"

Shit, his father was too attentive. He felt uncomfortable having this conversation.

"She should; I've told her that I can't be with her anymore. I don't love her, and I don't know if I ever did."

His father looked at him seriously but then smiled.

"But you love this Bella girl," he said, lifting his other eyebrow in amusement.

Embry was taken back by his father's blunt statement. But it was the truth, and there was no point lying to his father.

"Yes, I love her; I'm in love with Bella." Embry could feel the dam breaking, and he needed to tell his father everything.

"Shit, dad, she is all I could ever want. She's amazing. So beautiful, smart and funny and…" Sexy… yeah fucking sexy, but he didn't feel comfortable saying that to his father.

"After being with her, I'm unable to feel anything towards any other girl. She is all I can think about, and I think about her all the fucking time," Embry poured his heart to his father.

Embry rubbed his face in frustration. His father had loved his wife Embry's mum profoundly, and when she died five years ago, Embry had been sure his dad would soon follow her. So, he knew what it meant to love deeply.

"Damn, son, you got it bad. What is the problem?" his father asked, patting Embry's knee.

"She doesn't want a boyfriend. She says it's because she doesn't have time for having a relationship. And we have an understanding that we can see other people too," Embry sighed.

"But you hate that, don't you?"

Embry could only nod. He hated it, but he would rather have that than nothing if it were all she could get from Bella. He couldn't even think about not having her in his life.

"I want to believe, son, that if you two are meant to be together, you will," his father said after thinking for a while. "I've met her only briefly, but she seems to be a very sensible woman who knows what is good for her, and you, my son, are good. Any woman would be happy to have you. She will too."

Embry wished he could believe that too.

Doorbell rang. Embry got up from the couch and went to get the door. It was Leah.

"Oh, hi Leah, what's up?" he asked, unable to mask his irritation.

"Can I talk to you?" Leah asked.

Embry moved so Leah could come in. He didn't want to talk with her, but he didn't have any reason why he shouldn't.

"I was thinking... um... have you thought about what I asked you last week," Leah said, looking at him like a lovesick puppy.

Fuck, not this shit again. Leah wanted him to go to her cousin's wedding with her. Her cousin Emily was marrying her high school sweetheart Sam.

"Um, I won't be home then. I'm going to San Francisco."

The smile on Leah's face disappeared. And maybe he should feel bad for causing Leah to be miserable, but he just didn't have it in him. His mind was already organizing his weekend with Bella.

"Oh, I thought you were thinking about coming to the wedding with me," she said thinly.

"No, Leah, you wanted me to think about it. I said I didn't want to come." He knew he was being an asshole, but it seemed that being nice didn't work with Leah anymore. She had to see that he didn't want her. She ought to know it by now.

"Would you've come if you weren't going to San Francisco to be with Bella? If you hadn't met her?" Leah asked, unshed tears in her eyes.

Embry hated this; he hated how Leah made him feel guilty every fucking time they talked about Bella.

"What does it matter, Leah? Thinking about what-ifs doesn't help anyone," he answered, frustrated. He didn't want to hurt Leah any more than he already had, but she seemed to be a sucker for getting hurt and didn't let go.

"I need to know Embry. Would you still be with me if you haven't met Bella?"

"I don't know, maybe. We can't be sure what life has in store for us, and you know that." He couldn't even think about his life without Bella in it anymore, no matter how little she could give him. Embry didn't know if he would ever be able to love anybody other than her.

Everything between him and Leah had changed after he'd met Bella. They might still be together, who knew, maybe making plans for getting married themselves. It was the cruel truth. And even if he never got anything more from Bella than this casual thing they had, he still wouldn't want Leah anymore. And Leah deserved more. Embry just hoped that she would realize that.

"You'll find the one for you who deserves you. I'm not that one."

Leah started to cry and left.

"Paul, remember how I told you that there was this one guy I like and have been seeing now and then over the past year?"

"Yeah," Paul said, not wholly listening. He was kissing Bella's neck, inhaling her scent, plotting how to get her naked one more time before he had to leave her. Paul was due to start driving towards La Push soon. But fuck, he didn't want to go.

"Paul, please not here; I don't want any customers walking on us," Bella said, pushing his head off her neck.

Paul sighed and let Bella move further from him.

"Well, I'm going to meet him next weekend."

Paul froze. She must be fucking joking.

"What?"

"Yeah, he's coming here on Friday to spend a weekend with me," Bella told him with an open, innocent expression like she was informing him she was going to pop at the fresh fruit market to buy some apples.

Paul couldn't believe what she was saying. True enough, Bella had said from the beginning that she wasn't looking for a relationship and that she had been seeing some other guy earlier. Still, he had been so sure that she wouldn't want to sleep with anybody else anymore after they got it on. This was so fucked up. He didn't like to share her. He didn't know if he even could.

"What are you saying exactly?"

"Just what I just did. He's coming here, and I'm spending some time with him."

Hell, you are. What bullshit was this? Paul fumed in his head. He tried to conceal the emotions he was feeling while looking away from her. Forcing a deadpan expression into his face, he turned to face her.

"So, you don't have time to come to the wedding with me, but you have time to screw someone else while I'm away," Paul snapped, regretting the words as soon as they escaped his lips.

Bella looked at him for a moment without saying anything. Paul couldn't make out what the expression on her face meant. Was she pissed or disappointed, or what?

"You know Paul that I can't leave; there is too much going on even though it is less hectic now. And besides, I don't think you as a Bestman should take some random hook-up with you to the wedding."

Why the fuck does she keep referring to them as a hook-up. Fuck, they were so much more, surely, she knew that, felt that too.

Fuck he didn't know what to do. It didn't sit well with him that Bella was planning to fuck someone else. Fuck! He didn't know what to say, so he just looked at her with badly masked confusion on his face.

"Look, Paul, we talked about this. I like you. I mean, I really do, but I'm not looking for a relationship. I've seen this guy a few times during the past year, and I like him too, but it's the same with him. Just a bit of fun. Just like this that we have had. I thought you were okay with that."

Paul just looked at her like she was talking language he didn't understand, and in a way, she was. Here she was, the only woman he had ever fallen in love with and wouldn't hesitate to marry on the spot, telling him she would fuck another guy. What the actual fuck! Paul clenched his fists. He needed to get out and punch something. But he needed to handle this situation without losing his shit; there was too much at stake here because one thing he knew for sure: he wasn't going to give up Bella.

But what the fuck he should do. What were his choices? He certainly didn't want to stop fucking Bella, spending time with her. These past weeks had been the best time in his life; the sex with her was mind-blowing, and he was man enough to admit himself that he was in love with her, and he wanted all of her exclusively for himself. Not sharing with Embry fucking Call or with anybody else.

"I've told him that I've had a thing with someone else too, and he seems to be ok with it," Bella said.

He just could not believe this shit.

"A thing. So, I'm a thing now. You are heartless, Bella," Paul said before he could stop the words coming out. No point acting indifferent anymore.

"I don't want to be. I just thought we had an understanding."

Paul sighed, rubbing his face. Bella was right; they had had an understanding. He had just thought it wasn't valid anymore.

"Can I see you when I come back?"

"You know where to find me if you want to," Bella kissed him.

He grabbed her against his body and kissed her, making her moan.

Yeah, that's right, baby. You might think that you don't want me, all of me, but you're wrong. So, fucking wrong.

AN:

You hardcore Paul fans hate me now. I know you do. I'm one too, but Embry is a sweetheart. I love him too.