Arizona and I got back to the apartment yesterday. We've just woken up and we were supposed to be working today but Addison told the chief what happened at the cabin. He gave us two days off which means that our surgeries have been pushed as well. I hate when I have to reschedule my surgeries because I know how frustrating that is to a patient. Arizona is in the kitchen making some breakfast while I'm sitting at the counter looking for a therapist. We were both offered to talk to the counselor at work but I don't really feel comfortable around him.

"Do you know what you're looking for?" Arizona asks me, while she flips a pancake.

"I want a woman and preferably someone who's not white. I just want someone who can relate to being a minority."

"I think that's totally fair, Callie. Did you find someone you might want to talk to?"

"Yeah, I narrowed it down to two women, so I'm basically just sitting here, comparing the two of them."

Arizona takes the last pancake off the pan before asking me, "What do you know about them?"

"Well, Dr. Vasquez is 48 and she's from Mexico. She specializes in trauma and couples."

"What about the other one?"

"That would be Dr. Alvez. She's 52 and was born here in Seattle. It says that she's married to a woman and that both her and her wife are black."

"Okay." Arizona takes a moment to weigh the two options. "Who do you like the best?"

"Dr. Alvez." I answer.

"Then call her office and make an appointment."

I do as Arizona says while she gets breakfast ready. She decided to go visit the counselor at work, so she'll be going there this afternoon. Mark and Addison decided to do the same thing but they also wanted to visit him together after they both visited him separately. Dr. Alvez is available tomorrow morning so I booked that appointment just to get it over with. I'm not necessarily looking forward to talking about the assault but I know that I need to, in order for me to be okay.

"Breakfast is ready, babe."

I'm sitting on the couch in an empty apartment while Arizona is seeing the counselor. My thoughts are racing and my whole body feels tense. It's not that I don't like being alone but I don't want to be alone with my mind right now. I keep thinking back to the cabin, thinking about what would have happened. I'm actually starting to look forward to speaking with someone that doesn't know me. It's hard speaking with Arizona because I know how much it hurts her to hear about me getting hurt.

My train of thoughts gets interrupted by a notification from my phone. The text is from Addison, asking me if I'm home. 20 minutes later there's a knock on my door.

"Hey Ads." I greet her and motion for her to come in.

"Hey Cal. How are you?" She asks while she takes her coat off and puts her handbag by the coat stand.

"I'm good, you want coffee?"

"Yeah, coffee would be great." Addison answers and follows me to the kitchen. "Is Arizona at the hospital?"

I put coffee on while answering, "Yep, she's seeing the same counselor as you and Mark."

Addison has situated herself on the barstool by the kitchen counter and she's giving me a look that says 'tell me more'

"What?" I ask.

"I know you're not doing 'good', Callie. Why would you be?" She hypothetically asks, "Come on, it's me."

I look at Addison and I know that she won't let this one go. I sigh before confessing, "Fine, I'm not doing so great…"

"Can we talk about it?" Addison asks.

"It's not just what happened at the cabin, it's everything that's happening now."

"What do you mean?"

"There's just a lot to worry about. I worry about what that man did to me but I also worry about Arizona. It's like the only important thing is what happened to me. I mean, Arizona had a gun to her head for christ sake."

Addison nods before asking, "Have you talked to her about it?"

"Yeah, I told her what he did to me."

"That's not what I meant. I'm glad that you talked to her about that but have you talked about how scared you were about anything happening to her?" She asks.

"Not really." I confess, "She's been so worried about me but I don't think that she realizes how seeing her at gunpoint made me feel. It feels so stupid to think about my feelings about that situation because she was the one that had a gun pointed at her."

"Do you think that she's putting on a strong face for you?"

"I'm not sure. I feel like she's doing okay. She's used to being a strong man in a storm, I'm just not sure if that's healthy. I hope that the counselor makes her realize that I wasn't the only one who went through something traumatic." I say.

"I get that, Callie." Addison agrees, "Can we talk about what happened to you?"

"Nothing really happened, Ads. He threw me on the bed and I just prepared myself for what was about to happen. I won't lie and say that it hasn't been haunting me but I'm doing okay considering what I went through. Arizona was worried that I was afraid of being intimate with her but so far that hasn't been the case." I answer.

"Have you had sex since?"

"Not yet. I just haven't been in the mood for that. We made out in the shower at your cabin."

"It's understandable if neither of you have been in the mood for that and especially at the cabin. So you aren't afraid of how you'll react when you sleep together again?" She asks.

"I don't know. I feel like I'm supposed to act a certain way, like I need to fear having sex again. The thing is, that man didn't want to have sex with me. Rape isn't sex. I may need to feel like I'm more in control for a while but I'm not afraid of having sex with Arizona because I trust her."

Addison gets up from the stool, walks over to me and pulls me in for a hug, "I'm really proud of you, Callie." She says, "I love you."

"Love you too."

Addison and I are sitting on the couch when Arizona walks through the front door.

"Honey, I'm home." She greets.

"Hey baby." Addison answers which makes Arizona snap her head up.

"Sorry, I didn't realize we had company." Arizona tells me before bending down and giving me a chaste kiss. She walks behind the couch to sit in the armchair, patting Addison on the shoulder on her way, "Hey Ads."

"How was it?" Addison asks her.

"It was good. He seemed to understand how I was feeling and he made me realize some things about the whole thing."

"That's good." Addison says.

"Did you like him?" Arizona asks her.

"Yes, he was also really great when Mark and I went in together." She answers. "Callie, when are you seeing Dr. Alvez?"

"Tomorrow morning."

"How do you feel about it?" Addison asks.

"I'm actually looking forward to it." I answer.

Addison left about half an hour after Arizona got home. I think she went directly over to Mark's even though he wasn't home. They exchanged keys to their apartments right before we went on our trip. They still don't want to admit that they're in a relationship but they're acting like a couple around us.

"Babe?" Arizona calls from the bedroom.

I walk over to the door opening, "Yeah?"

"Can we talk?"

"Yeah, is something wrong?" I ask.

Arizona pads the bed, "Come here." She pulls one leg on the bed and lets the other one hang on the edge, so she's facing me. "Nothing's wrong. I just wanted to talk to you about my session today without Addison being here."

"Was it not good?" I ask.

She takes my hands before answering, "It was, it just made me realize some things. First of all, I was so scared when he pointed that gun at me. I was scared for my own life while being scared of what he might do to you. Second of all, I have realized how scary it must have been for you to see me kneeling at the end of that gun."

I start crying when she describes the image. She's right, seeing her with a gun to the head is the scariest thing that I've ever witnessed. Arizona uses her thumb to wipe the tears on my cheeks away.

I take a minute to calm down and then I ask her, "Can we talk about that? How did it make you feel?"

"Well, I was so angry at first. The way that he spoke and treated us was so patronizing. I didn't react the way I did because I thought that I was supposed to. I would consider myself a brave person but to confront someone with a gun is not something that I thought I would do. It was scary and humiliating to kneel in front of him but I would do anything for you. I was angry at you for going with him. The counselor reminded me what the alternative would have been but… God Callie, I don't know how I would be able to live with myself if he raped you."

"It's better than not living."

"I guess. It just still makes me so angry. Just him thinking about hurting you is infuriating. I know that he caused me pain but what he did to you makes me so much angrier." She says as tears run down her face.

I pull her in for a hug. "I'm okay., Arizona." I whisper to her as she sobs in my arms. Arizona calms down after a little while but remains in my embrace. "What do you say to a night in with dinner and a movie?" I ask her.

I feel her nod against my chest and sniffle before she answers, "Yeah, that sounds nice." Arizona slowly pulls away and looks at me. "I love you, Calliope."

I lean in for a kiss and she places her hand behind my head, pulling me to her. Our kiss is filled with emotions and without realizing it the kiss heats up. I moan as her tongue starts to explore my mouth. Arizona moves on top of me, straddling my thighs while I sit on the edge of the bed with my feet planted on the floor. I put my arms around her waist, pulling her closer to me. We moan into each other's mouths as our bodies press against each other. Arizona starts to grind against me and I pull away from the kiss to catch my breath. I see the lust in her eyes but I'm not sure tonight is the best night to sleep together. I feel like I need to get my therapist session out of the way first.

"We should stop." I gently say.

Arizona looks me in the eyes and gives me a small smile, understanding what I need without me having to tell her.

"Yeah, I believe you promised to make dinner." She teases.

"Oh, I'm making dinner? I thought that would be a team effort."

"If by team effort you mean me standing up against your back while you cook, then yes, team effort." She says, giving me a chaste kiss before walking to the kitchen.