Chapter 7

"Hello gorgeous, what are you doing here all alone?" someone said close to Paul's ear.

Paul glanced sideways and saw some bitch with heavy make-up batting her eyelashes and licking her lips.

"Go away," Paul slurred, pulling his arm away from her grip. He didn't want anybody to talk to him, let alone touch him.

"Don't be rude, gorgeous. We could have some fun," the bitch continued sliding her hand on his thigh.

"Fuck off!" Paul grunted and pushed her hand away.

"You are fucking asshole!"

"Just leave me alone and fuck off, will ya!"

That did it, and the bitch left.

Paul was on his seventh or eighth or ninth, who the fuck was counting, whisky in the bar next to the place he was staying. He'd been there an hour, maybe two, staring at the bottom of the glass and feeling … what the fuck was he feeling? He was numb. And he congratulated himself for that; it has been just what he'd been looking for coming here, feeling abso-fucking-lutely nothing. He was afraid to feel, so he kept binging the whiskeys the bartender kept pouring on his request.

It would have cost less to buy a bottle or two, but he didn't want to go to his flat and drink alone. That would be too much like his old man. And if there was something he never wanted to be, it was to be like his poor excuse of a father. Drunken motherfucker.

He emptied the glass and raised it to get a refill. He needed not to feel.

Bella had dumped him. Out of the fucking blue told him she couldn't see him anymore. She hadn't even given any explanation, just said she'd screwed up. When he had asked her what the hell she meant, she didn't say, and when he asked if she was dumping him over Embry, Bella wasn't surprised he knew Embry; she didn't even ask how he knew Embry instead, she just said she had finished with him too.

He took his phone and opened Instagram. He searched Embry's page, which he had looked at many times before; it was full of breathtakingly beautiful photos of Bella. His heart lurched and a single tear fell to his cheek. He wiped it away. Fuck this.

She ditched you too? He sent DM to Embry.

He was still able to see the screen of the phone, so not drunk enough. He emptied the glass and gestured for the bartender to pour another whisky.

There was some consolation in the knowledge that someone else was feeling the same pain. Being dumped by Bella Swan was fucking cruel. It broke man's heart into millions of pieces. But at least he wasn't the only one with a shattered heart.

Goddamn how he wanted to hate her, but he couldn't. He wasn't going to give up. Bella had asked him not to come to see her. She needed space. He would give her a few days and then demand an explanation and make her see that she was, in fact, in love with him and he wasn't going anywhere. Feeling empowered by this decision, he drowned his whisky. That was a fucking good plan. His phone buzzed.

Fuck off! Embry replied.

Paul snorted.

Its yes then

Embry didn't reply.

Did she say why

Paul pressed sent. Or he thought he pressed it.

No. You?

No. Thought she wanted you.

Ditto. No such luck.

Paul wanted to ask many things from Embry, but he found it harder and harder to write because his phone screen was out of focus. Fucking useless phone.

"Another," he slurred, lifting his glass.

Bella was feeling miserable. She was unable to concentrate on anything. She didn't even feel like reading, which was alarming in itself. Only once had she gone through something similar that she couldn't open a book, and it was when her parents had died. It had taken a couple of months before she could pick up with the reading again.

But this wasn't anything as bad as losing her parents had been. Why was she reacting this way? They were just guys, weren't they. Nice to be with, sexy as hell, tender, loving even. But still just guys.

Bella sighed.

She needed to get out for a while. It was a quiet afternoon, so Su-Wei and Thomas should be okay for a while without her.

"I'm heading out for a bit. Need some fresh air," Bella informed Su-Wei, who came from the back room carrying a box of new notebooks.

"Okay. Take your time. We'll manage." Su-Wei said and went to organize the stationary section.

Bella was grateful that Su-Wei, Thomas, or even Beth hadn't asked what was wrong with her. They knew she would tell when she was ready. It felt so stupid to be heartbroken; she had worked so hard not to get attached, not to get trapped, to feel like this. Bella laughed humorlessly. Control freak much.

And what good had come from it? Here she was with a shattered heart. At some point, she'd become careless and it equaled getting your heart broken.

Bella grabbed her shawl and left the shop. She was thinking about going to the nearby park. It was a beautiful sunny day—the first week of October.

She was just crossing the road when she heard heated shouts, and to her utter dismay, Bella saw Paul and Embry shouting at each other at the park she was heading.

She panicked. What were they doing here? What should she do? They hadn't noticed her yet. She felt like running away, but what good would that do. If the guys were here, they wouldn't probably leave before seeing her. So better to get it over with. Maybe it was a good thing; she could talk to them both at the same time. Give them closure and get one for herself, too; she knew she'd been very immature not giving them the reason, but then what was there for her to say: sorry, I love you both.

Her heart ached to watch them how she hadn't realized earlier that she could've not met two gorgeous Native American men just by chance. But she could not be mad at Paul; even she did hope he would have told her.

Damn, she already missed them both so much. She had to talk to them and make them leave. She crossed the street and walked towards them.

"Embry! Paul! What are you doing here?" Bella shouted when she got closer.

They stopped shouting at each other and turned to look at her, shock lacing their features.

"Bella!" they uttered at the same time.

"Why are you here?" Bella asked again.

"I came to talk to you," Embry said, "but I ran into this fucker, here." He pointed at Paul.

"Fuck you, Call," Paul spat.

"Please, don't shout," Bella said. She was beyond confused seeing them both here, but it was her fault. It was less than a week ago when she had called them both, and they had tried to call and text her, but she hadn't replied. Well, now they've come to see her.

They both looked terrible. Black circles under their eyes, eyes without their spark and glee she was used to seeing in them. Was she the reason they looked so bleak and miserable? It must be because of her; they wouldn't be here if it wasn't. She hated herself more than ever.

"Why you are here?" she repeated with a weak noise.

"You never answered my calls or my texts. I need to know why, Bella," Embry said, unshed tears in his eyes. Tears welled into her eyes when she looked at him.

She cleared her throat.

"I take that you are here also to talk to me," Bella said to Paul. "Were you ever going to tell me that you knew Embry?" Bella asked. She couldn't quite understand why he hadn't told her. Would it have bothered her if she had known? Well, none of that mattered now.

"Yes … no... damn... I don't know," Paul said, running his hand through his disheveled hair, leaving it sticking up.

Bella itched to smooth it. She loved how his hair felt under her hands.

"Fuck Bella, I was a fucking moron, okay. I just didn't know how to tell you that. But when I saw you on the beach with Embry for the first time, it was love at first sight, and I had to meet you and get to know you. I should have told you when we first started to hang out, but I didn't want to risk losing you. And then it just was too late. Please, Bella, don't do this. I know you love me too," Paul continued, and he looked at her with pained eyes, and Bella had to look away. So he knew.

Paul, I have to. There's no other way," Bella said. "And I can't be mad at you. I haven't been honest with you either. It's a poor excuse that I didn't realize it myself until it was too late."

"What are you saying?" Embry asked.

Bella took a deep breath.

"I'm saying that I have fallen in love with you both, and I've been using you both, leading you on. And that is so wrong."

"You love me?" Embry asked like he didn't believe his ears.

"I love you, and I love Paul, and as it is, I can't love you both. I had to end it with you both. You must see that."

"Baby, I love you with everything I have," Paul said, his voice cracking.

Bella felt her heart breaking into million pieces. She looked at the ground, too scared to see their faces, and started to talk.

"I'm so sorry. I should have stopped this before we all got too involved. I've been so wrapped in my everyday shit that I didn't realize my feelings, not to mention yours, until it was too late, and I am so sorry for that."

She took another deep breath and turned her eyes to look at them. Her head had started to throb. She would get a migraine, that was for sure, but she deserved it.

"I didn't know my own heart. You can't be mad at Paul, Embry. He forced me to see that there is more in life than my work, that I'm able to love and perhaps need to be loved. He opened my eyes and heart, and when I fell in love with him, I understood that I loved you too. I don't know when that happened, but when you came here, I realized it."

"Bella, I love you too. So much," Embry said.

Bella didn't know what more to say. At this point, she was crying, and she needed to leave.

"I hope you both find love and be happy. I have to go."

She turned and started to walk away.

"Bella!" they both shouted, and Embry rushed after her, grabbing her arm. He turned her to face him. She tried to look away, but Embry forced her to look at him.

"Please don't do this," he pleaded. Tears were running on his cheeks.

"What else there is to do?" She felt like choking.

"Choose me," Embry said, voice cracking.

Bella hadn't believed that her heart was able to shatter anymore, but it did.

"Sorry, Embry, I can't choose between you two. You both deserve a woman who loves only you."

And with that, she turned and ran away from the men she had fallen in love with.

Embry watched Bella running away. What the fuck did just happen? Had Bella just told him she loved him. But how come she dumbed him. If she loved him, she couldn't love Lahote, or could she?

Any of this didn't make any sense. His heart was a mess. It was beating simultaneously with joy and sadness. Bella loved him! Damn. But what was the point if she couldn't be with him?

He glanced at Paul, who was staring after Bella. He looked shit, as he was sure he did too.

Embry sat on the bench with a heavy sigh.

Paul came to sit next to him.

"Never saw that coming," Paul said.

"No," Embry answered.

They sat silent for a long time.

"Just to let you know, I'm not giving up," Paul said.

"Well, that's decent of you to tell me," Embry said, feeling odd comradeship towards Paul. Even though they were enemies and he hated the bastard with all he had, they had something in common, they had never had anything in common before, but now they did; they both were in love with Bella Swan and weren't going to give up.

"Neither am I," Embry told Paul. Not now that she has just told him she loved him.

AN:

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