A/N: Ohhhh my god...My first fan fic! Yay! Bow down! Not really. But please read and review. I would love it.

A/N 2: Contains some child abuse. Don't like, don't read. But if you do read, pleeeeeeeeeeease review!

A/N 3: My first fan fic!

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men. I only own Caroline and Radar. If I did own the X-Men, Kurt and Logan would be my sex slaves and Storm and Rogue would be my bodyguards at school...undercover. Then they could kick the asses of the girls who pretend to be my friend and then make fun of me behind my back in front of the guy I like. Who's the weirdo, now? Huh, WHAT!

Um, yeah...Marvel owns all. Except for Caroline and Radar.

Chapter One: 83

Germany, 1983

Kurt Wagner stood trembling in front of the bathroom mirror, staring at his demonic reflection and trying not to let the tears boiling in his eyes slip out from under his long, little boy eyelashes. His arm burned where the knife had slipped against his skin. A small bottle of hydrogen peroxide rested on the edge of the sink, with several used cotton balls bunched around it. Kurt stared at the small patches of blood on them, trying to picture the exact events that had just transpired in the downstairs kitchen.

Caroline. So angry, so hateful. At seventeen years of age, thirteen years older than Kurt. Rebellious and argumentative when it came to her mother, quiet and distant when it came to Kurt's mother. But when it came to Kurt, she was the sum of all his fears.

He remembered coming to this house with his mother. Raven Wagner was the widow of Eric Wagner, stepmother of Sigfried Wagner. Kurt knew the details of his birth. Raven had told him often, most of the times late at night when he couldn't sleep.

"You," she told him impatiently, "were born in a mansion in West Berlin. Most painful experience of my life, by the way. Eric had flown in his son from America to be there when his second child came into the world. The midwife pulled you out of me, and when she saw you, she said a prayer, threw you to me, and ran out of the room screaming. Eric and Sigfried came in, they were worried that something had gone wrong. Eric took one look at you and had a heart attack, while Sigfried ran out the door and went back to America. I've never heard from him again, but I think he went to his father's funeral. I took you away, though, before any other people saw you, and took you to my friend Rolanda's house, where we've been living ever since. Now shut up and go to sleep, I have to work tomorrow."

Caroline was Rolanda's daughter, but that was all they had in common. While Rolanda had accepted Kurt for his blue skin and yellow eyes, Caroline refused to acknowledge him as anything other than "the mutant." Caroline had been born in America, but when her father left, she and her mother moved back to Germany. She hadn't talked to Kurt, but he suspected that she didn't like her mother's homeland, which may have contributed to the ill feelings she felt towards most people.

Raven and Rolanda both worked at a local business company, leaving Kurt alone during the day while Caroline went to school. She was in her last year before graduation, after which she'd go to college. Kurt wasn't looking forward to the summer, when she would be home all day. But he decided to enjoy the time he had alone, where no one would hiss, "Freak," under their breath as they passed him. Although he was lonely, it was better than constantly worrying about Caroline popping out of the shadows.

After he heard his mother and Rolanda leave in their beat up car and Caroline slam the door on her way to the city bus stop, he'd get up from the small rug he slept on during the night, walk sleepily downstairs, and scour the kitchen fridge for something to eat. Kurt usually ate whatever was leftover from dinner the night before. When he finished eating, he went into the den and began to read the books on the shelves. Most of them were in German, but there was a leather bound Bible in English as well, which he read the most, enjoying the strange words even though he couldn't understand most of them. He lay on the couch for hours, reading and staring at the beautiful pictures of worlds he had never known, having never left the house as far as he could remember. At four o' clock, he put all of the books back in their original place and ran to the window to watch the school bus pass across his street. There was no one around for at least a mile, so it never stopped in that neighborhood, but he enjoyed watching the children through the windows. None of them looked like him, their skin was the same color as his mother's or Rolanda's or Caroline's, as was their hair. They were all smiling and laughing, throwing things and wrestling playfully. Kurt knew he'd never be able to do any of the things those kids could, but he still liked to look at them, even if it was for a brief period of time.

When the bus passed, it was only a few minutes before Caroline came home. Kurt took that time to erase any mark that he had been downstairs during the day, then ran upstairs as fast as possible and crawled underneath his mother's bed. Sometimes he would just barely make it, diving under at the exact moment when Caroline announced her arrival by slamming the front door and stomping up the stairs. She always stopped to look in Raven's room, and when she didn't see Kurt, she'd stomp down the hallway to her room. Upon hearing her settle down into the chair at her desk, he would breathe a sigh of relief and squirm his way out from under the bed as quietly as possible. After that, he'd sit by the foot of the bed where he slept at night and sing quietly to himself until Raven came home with Rolanda. When that happened, he knew it was safe. Caroline wouldn't do anything to him when they were there.

But on that one day, the bus had been late. Kurt sat by the window, waiting for it to pass, and hadn't really registered how much time had passed until he heard the door slam and Caroline stomp across the living room.

Oh no, he thought, freezing at the windowsill. Please, please no.

Caroline suddenly appeared in the doorway, stopping short with her backpack slung lazily over her shoulder. Kurt noticed the fire blazing in her eyes, and realized it hadn't been a good day at school for her. So much the worse for him.

"What are you doing here?"

Kurt didn't know how to answer. This obviously wasn't leading anywhere good.

"I," he began, "I just-"

"I don't care what you were just doing, why are you doing it here? Think this is a freak hovel or something? Why aren't you in a cage, where you belong?"

Kurt felt the breath leave his chest in a solid huff. He knew most people would find his reactions to Caroline's banter cowardly, but he couldn't help it. Somebody, anybody, please help me, please don't let her do anything to me. Please.

His silent prayer was interrupted by the sound of Caroline's footsteps coming closer to him. The blood thumping in his ears sounded like the beating of drums, sacrificial drums, Hell's drums.

"Freak," she hissed, and let her fist fly.

The first punch knocked what little breath was in Kurt out like a balloon. He fell to the floor with a cry and covered his face with his arms as a torrent of hits and insults poured down on him. Caroline didn't care if she broke anything, she was pouring all of her anger and hate towards Kurt and her mother and Germany into every single word and shove. Kurt tried not to scream, if he did it would just make her angrier. He curled up into a ball and pressed his front side to the floor. How long had it been? Raven and Rolanda would come home soon. Soon. They had to come soon.

Suddenly it stopped. Caroline stood up, kicked him once in the back, grabbed her backpack and began rummaging through it. Kurt wondered vaguely what she was doing, peeking through his fingers. It couldn't be over yet. Was this the eye of the storm? He closed his eyes again, in an effort to silence the tears burning his behind his lids.

It was made clear in a minute though. She walked back to him, slowly, and Kurt felt fear grab his stomach into a knot.

"Look at me," she said, in a strangely calm voice. "Now."

Kurt did, reluctantly. There was no way this was leading anywhere good. His worst expectations had been confirmed.

There was a small, gleaming switchblade in her hand.

"Why didn't someone drown you when you were born? You'd be so much better off dead. Everyone would be better off."

Kurt sprang up to his feet. Was she going to kill him?

She growled. "Sit down."

"Please don't kill me."

"Sit - down!" With that last word, she swiped the knife at Kurt. He jumped out of the way, shrieking.

"Please don't kill me!"

She swiped the knife at him again, and this time it caught on his forearm. He screamed in pain, and crumpled down in a heap to the floor.

Raven Rolanda God oh God I don't wanna die come home please come home save me save me anyone

He suddenly heard the car pull into the driveway.

Thank you.

Caroline flipped the bloody blade back into its housing, yanked her backpack up from the ground, and ran upstairs. Kurt waited till he heard the door of her room close, then ran up to his mother's room. His mother and Rolanda were inside now, talking and laughing like normal. Kurt walked into Raven's bathroom and pulled some antiseptic from the medicine cabinet. His shirt was torn and bloody, he'd have to sew it up tomorrow.

A few minutes later, he had changed shirts and applied a clean bandage to his throbbing arm. Feeling a little better in flesh, but worse in spirit, he stared at the mirror hanging over the sink. He pressed his forehead to it, feeling big, fat tears fall from his yellow eyes. He repressed the urge to sob, and blotted his face on the towel.

Kurt's reflection was now of a demon child with red eyes and a tearstained face.

"Freak," he whispered to it, and let another tear slip down his blue skin.

A/N: Yeah, I screwed with Kurt's past. So sue me! Laughs

So didja like it? There's more chapters to come, plus a little contest! Please review in the meantime, I want to know what you think.

A/N 2: Yay! My first fan fic!