Chapter 13

Paul pressed his forehead against the cold tiles in the shower. He was panting heavily, his hand still grabbing his cock. His legs were trembling as he was coming down from his self-induced orgasm.

All he could think and feel was Bella's lips molding against his, her body pressed against his, her hands pulling his hair. How it had felt so fucking right. Paul knew for sure that he would never touch another woman again. Bella was all he wanted, all he needed. She was the air he needed to breathe. Sappy as fuck, but Bella had that effect on him.

There was no chance in hell he would let her refuse them. He reassured himself that she wouldn't. She might think it too much and freak out in the process, but she wouldn't say no to them; she would be theirs. She must.

"Are you done?" Embry knocked on the door. "I need to shower too."

"Wait a sec." Paul rinsed and got out of the shower.

He took a towel and inhaled its scent. It was the scent of the fabric softer Bella used on her clothes. His dick twitched. Jesus, how he wanted to go downstairs, pull her into his arms, and kiss her. He wanted to kiss her the whole night, all over her body, drink her in, hold her in his arms, and never let go.

To be so close to her but not with her was torture.

"Get a grip Lahote," he scolded himself.

"Are you talking to yourself now?" Embry chuckled behind the door.

"Fuck off, Call," Paul grunted.

He got out of the bathroom, and Embry passed him, closing the door.

Paul looked around the room. He had been there once before when he helped Bella unblock the shower drain. It was a very comfortable space, and it also smelled nice in there.

Paul walked to look at drawings that hung on the wall. They were framed, and there were at least twenty colorful pictures. Bella had drawn them when she was a kid, and she had written her name on every one of them, and they were dated. Figures with heads and stick legs and arms, cute animals, and people with big belly buttons. Some were scribbles where one needed some imagination to think about what they presented. She'd been only two years when doing those.

One was a picture of her family she'd drawn when she was 5. Under a rainbow and next to a house with a blue door, there were five people and a black cat. Had Bella had a cat when she was a kid? There was so much he didn't know about her and he wanted to know everything. She had named every figure the cat was called Mickey.

When she was around ten years old, she had drawn anime-like figures. The latest drawings were when she was 13. Bella had told him that she and her mother had had sleepovers in the attic room, and they had loved to draw. So, these must be pictures she'd drawn in this room.

Paul felt overwhelmed looking at the drawings. This was part of the woman he loved more than his own life. He ached to be part of her and her life, to have her in his life. All this was home; she was home—something he himself never had.

Paul pulled on sweats and a t-shirt and flopped on the bed, opening the tv. He flipped through channels but didn't have the patience to watch anything, so he closed the tv. He took his mobile and looked at the photo of him and Bella. A smile spread on his face. He kissed Bella on the screen.

"Yes, baby, you are mine,"

"And mine, don't forget that Lahote," Embry said.

Paul glanced at him but didn't say anything. It would be challenging to share Bella with Embry, and it would take some time to adjust. It had been easy enough to think it in theory but to actually be here, seeing her in the flesh, touching her... It was hard not to feel possessive. But of course, he had to get his shit together and learn to share. And he could do it because he knew it was what Bella wanted; Bella wanted them both. But would she have them?

Embry sat at the armchair in the corner.

"Do you think she likes that douchebag?" Embry asked.

Ah, the fucker with a fancy car. Paul had wanted to rip his arm off when he hadn't let Bella go. Watching Bella with him had made him sick to his stomach.

"I guess she wouldn't go out with him otherwise. But she wants us. I know she does."

"I wish I had your confidence. Did you see the fucking car? It was Aston Martini one-77," Embry gushed. Paul looked at him with new eyes.

"Since when you've known shit about cars?" He didn't and wasn't interested. Never had.

"I've always loved beautiful stuff, and that car is a fucking masterpiece. You know it costs 1,4 million? The guy must be a fucking Kroisos if he drives a car like that,"

"Yeah, so? Bella doesn't care about money," Paul huffed. He was not at least worried about Bella choosing money over them.

"I know that, but she still might like him better."

Oh, ever the worrier.

"Bella said she loves us. That fucker might have a fancy car and shit loads of money, but she loves us."

Embry sighed and rubbed his face. "Yeah, you're right. I can't believe she's ours before hearing her say it."

And the truth was that Paul couldn't either. He wasn't as confident as he made Embry believe. Bella was a thinker and used to thinking more than feeling. Paul had once been able to get through her shield and tear it down. It wasn't as thick this time, but they must break through before she got an idea in her head that what they'd suggested would not work. The biggest mistake they could make is to let her think too much.

Bella was lying awake on her bed. She had tried to fall asleep for hours, but sleep didn't come. It was impossible to sleep knowing that Paul and Embry were here in her home.

Her head was spinning, and her heart refused to settle. All she could think about was Paul's lips on her, Embry pressing his body against hers, moaning into her mouth, their hands roaming on her body...

Gah.

She needed her head in the game, not her libido. But the harder she tried not to think about them kissing her, the more vivid the memory came. When she moaned out loud, she got out of the bed. This was ridiculous. She was behaving like some damn bitch in heat.

She decided to make herself some tea and go outside to clear her head. It was a balmy late May night, her favorite time of the year.

She put the kettle on and got her favorite tea mug, a souvenir from Oxford, England, from 10 years ago; the only overseas trip she'd ever made.

She leaned against the island while she waited for the water to boil.

She wanted them; there was no denying that. She had thought she would never see them again, that in time all she had from them were warm memories, but then out of the blue, they'd come to her and said she could have them – both.

Damn, how she wanted them. Who in their right mind wouldn't. But She could not help thinking it was crazy and would never work. Paul and Embry would never be satisfied to be just with her. It might be fun for a while, but they would get bored and leave her. She knew she should have more trust in them, but she couldn't get rid of the fear.

And wanting them to be just with her... well wasn't that tad selfish? Her having two gorgeous men just for herself... But then, they'd come to her. Asked her to love them and be with them. She hadn't asked them to be hers, only told them she couldn't choose.

She poured water over a chamomile teabag, grabbed her shawl, and went outside to their courtyard. She sat on the swing that had been there since she was a little girl. Beth had already set the table for breakfast even though they'd gotten a last-minute cancellation. Their guests liked having their breakfast outside most of the time. And why shouldn't they; it was a lovely courtyard with flowering plants and two old lemon trees. Beth was a green thumb, among other things.

She pushed her feet on the ground and swayed the swing closing her eyes and breathing in the sea air. She listened to the city's sounds. It was never quiet in San Francisco. She wondered how it would feel like to live somewhere very quiet. When she visited Embry in La Push, she had difficulty sleeping in total silence. Not that sleeping had been the first thing on their mind anyway.

"Can't sleep, my dear?" Beth had come outside and dragged her out of her musings.

"Oh, I hope I didn't wake you," Bella said. The damn door needed repairing; it made a loud noise when it closed.

"No, I was going back to bed from a toilet, but I saw you coming outside. Is something troubling you?"

Bella wasn't sure what she should tell Beth. Well, she knew she could tell her everything, even about two gorgeous men suggesting a polyamory relationship with her. Beth was the last person to judge. But Bella might need to think about this on her own first before telling anybody.

"Yes, there is some stuff," she said vaguely, knowing Beth wouldn't press. She would sit with her for a while, giving her a chance to tell or leave it be if she didn't want to talk. Beth was such a good listener.

"Considering three handsome men who all want to be the one your heart desires, perhaps?" Beth prompted, surprising her.

Bella stopped swinging and looked at Beth.

"Dear, I've been anxiously waiting for you to find a man you could love and who would love you and take care of you."

"Beth..."

"No, let me finish. I don't usually press my thoughts at you, but I've wanted to say this for a long time. It is what your mother would have said," Bella glanced at Beth, who was looking at her with warmth in her eyes, but she pressed her lips tightly together, and Bella knew Beth wasn't letting go of whatever she wanted to say.

"You think you don't need a man in your life, that you are a strong independent woman and happy here just with us. And you are all those things, and so, so much more. But everybody needs love, sweetheart. I know Edward loves you."

"Beth, he hardly knows me. Besides, I don't want Edward."

"You don't?" Beth asked, looking surprised.

Bella shook her head.

"But he's everything any woman could ever want. He's handsome and rich, and he would offer you a moon if that were what you wanted."

"Perhaps, but he's not for me. I don't think I could ever fall in love with him. I would always think that he wanted this place. And it's not only that..." Bella turned to look at the tea mug in her hands.

"It's those other two. Aren't they the men you dated last year?"

"Yes. Beth..." Bella took a sip from her tea to get a few seconds to think about how to continue. "I'm in love with them both. I wasn't planning to fall in love; I only thought about having some fun, but then I got too attached, and I had to break up with them because I realized that I could not choose between them. It was the only thing I could do, to let them go."

"But they are here now. Why?"

Bella sighed. What the hell, she should just tell Beth and hear what she made of it.

"They still love me, and they made an offer to me,"

"An offer?" Beth prompted.

"They want to have a relationship with me, both of them. They said I could have them both," Bella told her, and she couldn't stop the blush spreading onto her face.

"Oh dear," Beth gasped, pressing her hands over her heart. She was a bit shocked, and she couldn't blame her.

"Yes, my sentiments exactly."

"Do you think they are serious about it? Are they really able to... share you?" Beth asked.

"I know they are serious. But would it really work? I don't think they had thought it through." She sipped her tea. "I guess no one knows beforehand how it would work. It would be one of those play-by-the-ear things. Learn as we go."

Beth looked at her but didn't say anything.

"But my greatest fear is that I wouldn't be enough. I mean, they are gorgeous men, and the world is full of gorgeous women..."

"Bella, stop right there. I know you are a master at playing yourself down. But you are enough; you are more than enough. I've watched you grow and become a strong, independent, and beautiful woman, and there is no man on this planet who wouldn't want you. Think of this place, for example. You always say that it is the work of your parents and grandparents, and you are just keeping it going. But people keep coming here because of you, they could buy the book they need or the coffee they grave from any other shops around, but they come to you. Your smile brightens the day of any customer, your enthusiasm about books is contentious, and you are interested in the people who want to talk with you. Ask Old Jack; he knows," Beth said, chuckling.

Old Jack was a rough sleeper who regularly slept at the bus stop next to Blue Door. Bella often brings him coffee and muffin in the mornings and gives him the day's paper. Sometimes she has her morning coffee with the old man chatting about the latest news.

"You say Edward doesn't know you enough to be in love with you. He might not know you yet, but he knows what he has in front of him: a woman that would be his dream becoming a reality. I've seen how he watches you and heard how he talks about you. He wants you."

Bella blinked.

"I honestly don't know what to say about this proposition. In a way, it would be an answer to my prayers times two; you would get two men instead of one. But a relationship between two people is challenging enough; with three, it would be twice as much. But it is like you said, you would learn as you go. Listen to your heart. I know you always try to think about what is best. If there is one piece of advice I want to give you is this: think less and do what your heart tells you."

"And I would really much like to meet these two young men. They must be quite something being willing to have an extra person in the relationship so they can have you. Men aren't very good at sharing, that much I know. But they must know what a treasure you are."

"Beth, stop. You are partial in all this. You love me."

"Yes, I do. Do they love each other?" Beth asked.

"You mean if they are romantically involved with each other?"

"Yes."

"I don't think so. At least when I was with them, they never said they were bisexual. But people can also change."

"Well, you find it out soon enough," Bet said, getting up from the bench. She walked to her and kissed her forehead. "Try to get some sleep, my dear. Take a day off tomorrow and spend it with you men."

They're not my men. She thought. But they could be.

Bella watched Beth go back inside. She drank the rest of her tea and left the courtyard.

Bella took the mug to the kitchen sink and rinsed it. It was already 1.30 in the morning. She checked her phone that was lying on the kitchen counter. There were a few texts; two of them were from Edward. Bella sighed.

Thank you for tonight. I loved spending time with you. I hope to see you again soon. xoxo

Call me tomorrow xoxo

Yeah, she would call him tomorrow and tell him she wouldn't see him anymore. No matter what happened with Paul and Embry, she didn't want to lead Edward on any more than she already had done.

She went back to bed but was still too wired up to fall asleep. She started thinking about all the practical things, like would they all live together? Would they want to move here to live with her? Her home was big enough; it had once been home to five people when her parents and grandparents had been alive. Both Embry and Paul would be able to get their own rooms. But would they want to sleep with her? Oh, she would definitely want to sleep with them. Her cheeks flushed, and there she was again, thinking about the kiss. Now she didn't want to resist the ache between her legs and slid her hand inside her panties.

Bella was startled awake when she heard someone knocking at the door. It was already 8.30. She bolted up from the bed. She'd overslept. She had been too distracted last night and hadn't set the alarm.

She wrapped her robe around her and went to get the door. She could not stop a yawn from escaping when she opened the door, but the sight in front of her stopped it abruptly. Her heart flipped in her chest: Paul and Embry were standing there smiling. Paul had a tray with three coffee cups and a brown paper bag containing something to eat.

"Morning Bella," he said. "Can we come in?"

"Sure," she said and moved so they could come in. "But I'm a bit late for work."

"We asked Su-Wei if it would be okay if you went in a bit later," Embry said and rushed to add, "I hope you don't mind, but we really hoped you could have some time to spare for us."

"It's okay Em; you came all the way here to see me. Of course, I'll want to spend some time with you. Should we go out? It's a nice morning?"

They both nodded. "Okay, I'll put some clothes on and join you."

Bella went back to her bedroom and closed the door. Her heart was beating fast, and she felt her cheeks flush. She needed to get her nerves under control. But it was hopeless. They unnerved her so. She wasn't any wiser about what to do than she was before she had fallen asleep last night.

When she came out, Beth was chatting with Paul and Embry and placing breakfast on the table.

"Good morning, Bella. I hope you slept alright," she said with a wink.

"Good morning, Beth."

Beth left, leaving her with Paul and Embry. They were both looking at her.

"She's nice," Embry said. "I wonder how I ever met her before."

"Yeah," Bella said. She had never tried to hide Embry or Paul from people who were practically her family, but she hadn't introduced them to them either. Not quite sure why, now that she thought about it.

"So, did you guys get any sleep," she asked nervously.

"Yep. The bed is very comfortable," Paul said, fiddling with the cap on his take-a-way cup. He, too, seemed to be nervous. It was an odd thing to see him like that.

Paul and Embry were sitting facing each other. She took a chair and set in on the head of the table, not having the nerve to sit too close to either of them. Besides, she could not choose which side to sit on.

They were silent, and Bella started to feel anxious as the silence dragged on.

"Have you thought about what we asked you yesterday?" Embry finally asked. Bella almost sighed in relief.

"Yeah, I have."

They both looked at her waiting for her to continue. Damn. Why it was so hard for her to find the right words. Maybe because still, she didn't know what to say,

"I'm still quite overwhelmed about your suggestion," she said, deciding to be as honest as possible. Honesty and openness would be the most important things if they were going to try to have a relationship with three people in it.

"You said yesterday that you don't believe you could be enough for us," Paul said. "Is that all you are worried about?"

"Yes. It is mainly that."

"I know you," Paul continued, "and nothing we say will make you believe that you are more than enough, that you are all we could ever possibly want. You just have to let us show you that we mean every word."

Bella was staring at his mesmerizing eyes, unable to speak. Her heart beat frantically against her chest.

Paul moved closer to her and took her hand. He kissed her fingers. His eyes burned with intensity Bella had never seen in them before.

"Let us show you." He leaned closer and kissed her cheek. He brushed his nose against her jaw and kissed her very lightly on her lips. Her eyes fluttered close, and she let out a shaky breath she hadn't noticed she'd been holding.

Embry moved and kissed the spot behind her ear. She shivered under their touches.

"Say yes, Bella," Embry whispered.

All her fears and doubts vanished when they both touched her.

"Yes," she whispered.

AN:

There.

Thank you for your comments, follows, and favs. I love hearing from you.