Disclaimer: I don't own it, nor do I have any intention of doing so.

A/N: I don't have any idea what posessed me to do this...I just did. So enjoy it.

XXX

"Ok, class. Would everyone take your seats? Class is about to begin…" Miss Yukari announced as she walked into her classroom and placed her things on her desk.

The class paid no attention to the woman, but continued to discuss the activities and trips they had taken over the weekend.

Yukari's eye twitched. "Sit your asses down and shut up before all of you are expelled!" She screamed at the top of her lungs, panting slightly once she had gotten everyone's attention. Everyone took their seat as quickly and as quietly as possible. "Thank you." Miss Yukari smiley sweetly. "Now as I'm sure you all are aware…this week is salute your shorts week."

"Aw, damnit!" Cartman yelled from his desk.

Osaka raised her hand. "Miss Yukari…we don't wear shorts….the school uniform require us to wear…well…skirts….." she said quietly, thinking about it.

"Well then start wearing shorts!" Yukari growled, leaning over her desk and glaring at the girl with a murderous glint in her eyes that only Satan himself could match.

"Y-yes ma'am…" Osaka nodded, trembling in fear.

"Good." Yukari smiled once more, looking around the classroom. "Now then…where's Chiyo?"

"Um…she's in the counselor's office." Sakaki mentioned.

----xoxox----

Chiyo tugged nervously at her skirt while she sat in the chair in front of the counselor.

"Now then, tell me about your problem, m'kay?" Mr. Mackey spoke.

"Well, I…um…" Chiyo looked up at the man. "I…I think I have a problem…"

"Is it drugs?" Mr. Mackey asked curiously. "If you do drugs, you're bad. So don't be bad. By doing drugs. 'Cos that'd be bad, m'kay?"

"No…no, it's…not drugs." Chiyo shook her head quickly. "It's…..ok, I have a farting disorder…" she explained, as she let one rip.

"Oh! Oh my…my God! My eyes!" Mr. Mackey screeched as tears began to blur his vision and the deadly gas began to fill his lungs.

Chiyo sat there, embarrassed. "Can you help me, Mr. Mackey?" she asked.

"Well, what you seem to have is called flatulence; it's also known as farting or gas in the stomach or intestines, m'kay? A common cause of flatulence is feeble secretion of stomach acid which leads to the improper digestion of foods. It can occur at any time but more commonly manifests after eating a meal, m'kay? So you have to be careful.
Flatus occurs when the food eaten is not 'broken down' / digested completely in the stomach and small intestine, see? Subsequently, the food makes it into the large intestine in an undigested state. From there, the food comes into contact with billions of bowel bacteria - the friendly "intestinal fauna", m'kay? These bacteria digest it further and this action produces a variety of gases - Hydrogen sulphide is the odour we associate with flatulence." He explained.

Chiyo blinked. "…Ok. So all I have to do is eat my food more carefully. Thanks, Mr. Mackey!" the small girl let out a smaller poot and rushed off back to class.

Mr. Mackey got out a can of air freshener from the top drawer of his desk. "I'll have to ask Chef not to serve burritos for lunch anymore…"

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