In which Roshi celebrates a birthday, Naruto plays in the sandbox, and Gaara learns something new.
Warning for a minor character's violent death in this chapter.
O-O-O-O-O
It was dusk as Roshi leaped through the village. He cradled the bottle of sake in the crook of his elbow as he avoided the people who wandered in the streets. Some people gave him dirty looks, but Roshi ignored them with the ease that came from long practice.
He reached Han's apartment within minutes, disabling the alarm and letting himself in.
"Han!" he shouted. "I'm here! I got you a bottle of sake from the Land of Fire. This shit was expensive."
"Roshi?" Han answered from the kitchen. Despite the apron tied around his waist and the lack of armor, Han's height always made him look imposing. Lucky bastard.
"It's me," Roshi confirmed. "I got you the best sake I could find."
Roshi waved and walked to the kitchen to place the bottle on the counter. He clapped Han on the elbow, the tallest place he could reach without standing on his tiptoes.
"What's the occasion?" Han asked curiously as he chopped some vegetables.
Roshi sighed in exasperation and pinched the bridge of his nose. Han is a forgetful idiot.
"You nitwit," he said as he punched Han on the elbow. "Don't you know what day it is today?"
"Wednesday?" Han frowned, confused.
"No!" Roshi groaned. "It's May 10! It's your birthday, jackass."
"It's May 10 already?!" Distracted, Han cut his finger instead of the vegetables. He hissed and sucked at the wound automatically.
"My birthday?" Han asked, voice incredulous.
Roshi sighed. "Yeah, you're forty years old. Isn't that nice?"
"I'm forty?!"
"Hey, if it makes you feel any better, I heard forty is the new thirty."
"That doesn't make me feel better," Han complained. "It feels like only yesterday that I got my hitai-ate!"
"We've been active shinobi for nearly thirty years now," Roshi said wistfully. "Two great shinobi wars and too many petty conflicts to count."
"We're at peace now, though," Han replied.
"And how long do you think that'll last?" Roshi snapped.
"I wish I could say the rest of our lives, but..." Han's voice trailed off. He turned his attention back to his task, a frown on his face.
Roshi looked away. He had wanted to celebrate Han's birthday. Instead, they were veering into painful territory. Roshi desired peace, but without conflict, he had no purpose in life. He may as well not exist. What use is a shinobi without war?
"Finish your cooking," Roshi said while avoiding Han's eyes. "We'll break open the bottle later."
Han stared in silence at him for a few seconds before he nodded and continued his work, the wound already healed. "It won't take much longer," Han said.
Roshi nodded and left the kitchen to sit down on the sofa. He grabbed a newspaper and opened it to a random page, not reading a single word. War was a touchy subject for both of them. Both of them wanted peace and stability but Roshi didn't think it was possible.
Unable to absorb anything, Roshi put down the newspaper with a sigh. Frustrated, he stared out of the window instead. He couldn't believe it had been five years since he had been forced to comfort a crying little girl.
In those five years, their relationships as jinchuuriki had changed. The children were older and they didn't need as much attention as before. Naruto and Gaara were as close as brothers. Meanwhile, Fuu had taken the role of the older sister astoundingly well.
Almost every night, Yugito gushed about her girlfriend while Utakata listened politely. Yagura wandered through the world, looking for jobs and complaining about his lack of money. Killer B, like Han and Roshi, completed missions for his village as a loyal shinobi. Unlike them, however, he was forbidden from leaving the Land of Lightning.
For the past five years, Roshi had come to treasure that connection more than anything else in his life. It was nice to see Gaara and Naruto grow up. He had gotten used to Fuu babbling for hours about school. He enjoyed talking somewhere removed from the machinations of the greater political systems.
Roshi saw them as the family he never truly had. While they still argued with one another, usually about stupid things, they would do nearly anything for each other. Roshi had grown fond of the other jinchuuriki and by extension, their villages. He didn't want to hurt any of them.
As a shinobi, however, he knew that peace could never last. One day, Onoki or some other idiot would start a war over something petty and Roshi would have to take part in it. He might even be ordered to assassinate another jinchuuriki.
But, if he had to choose between his village and the other jinchuuriki, he already knew his answer. Roshi would always put the other jinchuuriki first. He would kill Onoki with his own hands if necessary.
"Dinner is ready!" Han yelled from the kitchen.
Broken out of the reverie, Roshi noticed that he had been grinding his teeth in frustration. He relaxed his jaw and walked to the table where Han had set their meal out in front of them. Roshi sat down with a grunt, opened the bottle of sake, and poured out two generous portions.
"Happy birthday, Han." Roshi lifted his cup and Han copied the movement. "I'd have brought cake too, but I know you don't like sweets."
"No worries," Han answered, voice calm and collected as usual. "Sake is better. Cheers!"
"Cheers," Roshi copied the toast without a lot of enthusiasm. Thinking about world affairs always brought his mood down.
After the toast, they ate in the comfortable silence that came after years of friendship. Roshi ate automatically. He tasted nothing and tried not to worry about the possibility of war looming over his head.
"If you had to choose between protecting the other jinchuuriki and Iwagakure, what would you choose?" Roshi asked, his heart beating faster inside his chest. He thought he knew Han's answer, but he wanted to make sure.
"The jinchuuriki," Han answered without hesitation.
Roshi sighed in relief and smiled. "Good."
He took another bite of food. That time, he made sure to savor it.
O-O-O-O-O
Naruto wished he could stay in the Room full time. In there, Fuu and Gaara played with him. Han, Roshi, and Yagura told him stories. Utakata blew bubbles whenever he asked. Yugito taught him taijutsu stances and B tried to entertain him with rapping.
In the real world, however...
Naruto listened to the whispers as he wandered the streets of Konoha, hands in his pockets. He heard snippets of conversation and frowned.
The Fourth died because of him... A demon... Not worth it... It's that child...
Naruto scowled as he passed the crowds. Unlike the eight other people in his head, he had yet to meet anyone who had treated him kindly inside Konoha. However, he knew that despite their words, they would never dare to harm him. He almost wished they would hate him enough to try and hurt him. Being ignored was almost worse.
Ignoring the villagers as best as he could, he arrived at the park and headed to the sandbox. A few young children were pulled away by their parents as he neared. He frowned. I'm not gonna hurt no one.
With a pout, he sat down on the sand and tried to make a house. However, it kept collapsing. He wished Gaara were there. The other boy was good at building and planning. With Gaara's control over sand, they could make something amazing.
Naruto focused on building. He added windows with his thumbs and used sticks to represent all the nine jinchuuriki. He tried to imagine them all living together under one roof.
He was so focused on his task that he didn't notice a boy walking closer until it was too late. As he placed the longest stick to represent Han on the sand, a sandaled foot stomped on his house, tearing it down.
Shocked, Naruto looked up to see a boy sneering down at him. He didn't know the kid, but he seemed to be at least two years older than Naruto and was a lot taller. Naruto gulped nervously but hid his fear with loud words.
"Hey! What was that!?" he yelled. "I was working on making a house, ya know!"
The kid sneered again. "Like it was anything great! It was so ugly I had to tear it down."
"Ugly?" Naruto repeated with a furious scowl.
"Just like you!" the kid taunted. Naruto tensed despite himself.
Seeing his reaction, the boy sneered at him, glad that his words had some impact. "Maybe that's why you don't have parents," he said. "You were so ugly when you were born that they dumped you in the trash."
"Shut up!" Naruto stood up, but even standing up, the other boy towered over him.
"Or maybe your parents were evil people, and that's why no one wants you around."
"I said shut up!" Naruto yelled in the boy's face as he clenched his fists in anger.
"I bet they just looked at you and decided that they didn't want you at all!" The boy was practically laughing as he watched Naruto's reactions to the bullying.
Naruto felt his body shaking, but he wasn't sure if it was in anger or fear. He knew nothing about his parents. Despite understanding that they were only words, he wondered. What if he's right? What if my parents didn't want me? What if they hated me?
Frustrated, Naruto shoved the boy as hard as he could, but the other kid was too big and didn't budge. In relation, the kid pushed him and Naruto fell back hard on the sand. He felt tears in the corners of his eyes. He looked around to see if anyone would help, but the other people in the playground look indifferent at best and outright malicious at worst. Naruto had no allies.
Alone, he stood up and ran away. The boy's cackling followed him, even after he had run far enough away that such a thing wasn't possible.
By the time he returned to the orphanage, his eyes were full of tears. He rubbed at his face furiously and took a deep breath to quiet himself. The people at the home punished him often for being too loud and he didn't want to catch their attention.
Naruto snuck through the entrance and headed to his bedroom. He entered and closed the door gently behind him. He rubbed at his eyes again and sniffled before looking around. His bedroom was small but neat. He had a few picture books and toys to entertain him, although they were old and worn-down.
He collapsed onto the bed and planted his face on the pillow. He had thought about his parents before but the boy's words kept repeating themselves in his mind. You were so ugly when you were born that they dumped you in the trash.
Naruto laid down on his back to stare up at the ceiling. He shouldn't cry about whatever a random boy said about his parents. Naruto didn't know who they were and he probably never would.
He wiped his nose on his arm and tried to distract himself with his books and toys. It didn't work. His eyes glazed over all the words and drawings and the toys were too boring to keep his attention. He was glad when the caretaker brought dinner for the distraction.
He tried to occupy himself with the food, but for once he wasn't hungry. When the caretaker returned to pick up the dishes, she glared at him for not finishing the meal but said nothing.
Naruto was relieved when it was time for bed. He hoped playing with Fuu and Gaara would distract him from the events of the afternoon.
He was alone when he materialized in the Room, but he knew that the others would join him soon. Feeling safe for the first time in the day, he made the Room create wooden blocks for him and Gaara to play with. He entertained himself by trying to make the tallest tower possible as he waited.
Fuu joined him first, yammering about what she had learned in school and about her friends Hana and Rin. Roshi, predictably, joined them later. He ruffled Naruto's hair and went off by himself to do some sort of stretching exercise. Naruto greeted them with a grin, but he still couldn't get the boy's words out of his mind.
Naruto pretended to be happy as he listened to Fuu's words. However, when he barely responded, she frowned.
"What's wrong, Naruto-chan?" she asked.
"Nothing, Fuu nee-chan," Naruto answered with a smile. "I'm okay."
Fuu continued to look concerned. Nevertheless, she continued to talk and play with Naruto as normal.
Gaara joined them soon afterward. He sat down next to Naruto and the two tried to build a tower together as they listened to Fuu. Like Fuu, Gaara gave Naruto a speculative look and asked if something was wrong.
"Nothing is wrong, ya know!" Naruto reiterated while avoiding their eyes. "I'm just tired."
"You're never tired," Gaara replied as he leaned closer. "We know you're not okay. Did something happen?"
At the question, Naruto looked away and pointedly avoided their gaze. Despite himself, the boy's words repeated themselves over and over in his mind. He burst into tears.
Immediately, he felt Fuu lean forward to hug him. Relieved, he fell into her arms. He hugged her close, burying his face on her shoulder. He felt Gaara's hand on his back. A few seconds later, a warm hand that could only belong to Roshi fell on his head.
"What happened?" Roshi asked worriedly as he squatted down.
"I don't know!" Fuu said, panicked. "Gaara-chan asked if something happened today and he just started crying!"
"Naruto?" Roshi asked and Naruto turned his head to look at Roshi. "What happened? Is everything okay?"
The man had a look of concern in his eyes and Naruto wished he had never burst into tears. It was embarrassing to cry about something as stupid as not knowing who his parents were. But at the moment, he had no choice but to tell them about it.
"My parents never wanted me," Naruto whispered as he rubbed the tears away from his eyes. "This boy said I was so ugly that my parents threw me away because they didn't want me."
After saying those words out loud, Naruto burst into fresh tears once more at the memory.
"Never wanted you?" Roshi asked, sounding shocked. "Kushina always wanted you. I swear, during the months she was pregnant, she always had this big dumb grin on her face whenever I saw her."
"Kushina?" Naruto asked. The name sounded familiar, and he thought Fuu had mentioned her before a few times. "Who's Kushina?"
"You don't know who Kushina is?!" Fuu asked, scandalized at Naruto's ignorance.
Naruto shook his head. "Is she important?"
Roshi and Fuu shared shocked expressions as if Naruto should definitely know about Kushina. Gaara, at least, looked just as confused as Naruto felt.
"That's outrageous, Mama!" Fuu shouted as her hug over Naruto tightened. "You mean no one has ever said anything about Kushina to him?!"
"Kushina is your mom, Naruto," Roshi said while scratching the back of his neck. "I guess we never really talked about her to you, huh? I just assumed the people of Konoha told you about her..."
Naruto froze and he stared at Fuu and Roshi as they gave him apologetic looks. "My mom? You knew my mom?"
Roshi snorted. "Knew her? She was a jinchuuriki too. I didn't talk to her a lot, but we exchanged recipes sometimes. She used to take care of Fuu when she was very little."
"She was like a mom to me, Naruto-chan," Fuu explained. "She was also really cool and super strong."
"Cool?" Naruto asked.
"Strong?" Gaara asked.
Roshi nodded. With a sigh, he sat down cross-legged on the floor. Naruto couldn't help but get excited. Roshi's gonna tell us a story!
"I knew your mother, Naruto, and she was a great shinobi," he said. "She loved you so much even before you were born."
"She... she did?"
"Yeah, Naruto-chan! Kushina was so cool! I can't believe no one has told you anything about her!" Fuu nodded and grinned at Naruto.
"You mean, you can't believe we forgot to tell him about it," Roshi commented.
"You look so much like her," Fuu continued, ignoring Roshi's comment.
"Very similar in personality too," Roshi added.
"And my father?" Naruto asked. At the question, Fuu and Roshi traded worried glances.
"I don't know about your father, Naruto," Roshi admitted. "Kushina never said anything about him. But I knew her well enough to know that she would never have a child with any old loser."
"I'm sure your father was an amazing man," Fuu added in agreement.
"Do you want me to tell you about her?" Roshi asked kindly.
Naruto nodded enthusiastically, and he settled down to listen. Gaara had to leave soon after, but he gave Naruto a hug that lasted longer than usual before disappearing. At his departure, they moved to sit by Gaara's Door. With Gaara listening in, Fuu and Roshi told them stories about an amazing red-headed woman.
Naruto absorbed all the details desperately. She had loved ramen a lot. She had liked to cook. She had been an accomplished shinobi. She had known a lot about fuuinjutsu. However, the most important detail, was how much she had loved Naruto, even before he was born.
Later, once he left the Room, he dreamed of a beautiful woman with long red hair.
O-O-O-O-O
Gaara stared at the picture of his mother on the table. She was smiling at the camera, eyes kind.
Fuu had known her mother before becoming a jinchuuriki. Naruto, while he had also never gotten to meet his mother, at least had stories from Roshi and Fuu. Yashamaru had told him about his mother, but Gaara wanted to know more.
Gaara looked down at the knife in his hand. Earlier, he had hurt a girl when Shukaku's power had gotten out of control. He would have killed her if Yashamaru hadn't stopped him, but he had only hurt his uncle instead.
Gaara took the knife and tried to stab his arm. Predictably, the sand stopped the self-inflicted wound. His skin was left unmarred. The sand always gets in the way.
"Gaara-sama." Gaara heard Yashamaru's voice calling out from behind him. He turned around to look at his uncle.
"Yashamaru!" Despite the situation, Gaara tried to smile.
"I know I don't look it," Yashamaru said, "but Kazekage-sama entrusted me with being your caretaker. Please stop that behavior under my care." Gaara looked away, upset at being reminded of his loss of control earlier. "But then again, the sand always protects you."
Gaara glanced up at his uncle and looked at the bandages on his head and arms. They looked painful and Gaara swallowed nervously before talking. "Yashamaru, I'm sorry."
"Oh, this?" Yashamaru pointed to the bandages and smiled. "They're just scratches."
"Does it hurt a lot?" he asked.
"Just a little. But I'll heal over time."
Despite his words, however, Gaara noticed that his movements were slower than usual. He remembered when his father had crushed him under tons of golden sand. The pain haunted him even after many years.
Gaara shifted his feet. He wondered if his uncle resented him for hurting him.
"Hey, Yashamaru," he began.
"Yes?"
"Do you... hate me for hurting you?" Gaara clenched his hands into fists, afraid of his answer.
Yashamaru smiled again before he answered. "People will hurt others and get hurt themselves in life. But not everyone hates each other just because of that. It's just that everyone else is hurt more easily than you, Gaara-sama."
Gaara nodded. "Maybe I'm always injured too, like everyone else. I'm always in pain... It doesn't bleed, but it really hurts around here."
Gaara clenched one hand over his chest. Every time he couldn't block out Shukaku or whenever his father rejected him, the feeling intensified. It hurt in a different from getting crushed by sand, but that pain was always there.
Yashamaru gave him an indecipherable look before he took the knife in Gaara's hand. Gaara gasped when Yashamaru made a small cut on the tip of his finger.
"External wounds can bleed and look painful," Yashamaru said. "But as time goes by, the pain eventually disappears. And if you use medicine, it heals even faster. But what's trickier is a wounded heart. There's nothing more difficult to heal."
"A wounded heart?" Gaara frowned as he looked up at his uncle.
"It's a bit different from a normal wound," Yashamaru explained. "Unlike an injury to the body, if you don't treat it, sometimes it can never heal." Yashamaru got a faraway look in his eyes. "But there is one thing that can fix a wounded heart. The only thing is, it can only be given to you by someone else."
"What kind of medicine is it?" Gaara asked curiously. Whatever that medicine was, he wished to have it.
"The only thing that can help a wounded heart..." Yashamaru looked at the picture of his mother and smiled before answering, "is love."
"Love?" Gaara repeated curiously. Fuu and Naruto always used that word, often in connection to him. They told him they loved him, although he wasn't exactly sure what it meant.
Seeing his confusion, Yashamaru smiled and explained. "Love is devoting yourself to someone important to you by caring for and protecting them," he said. "Just like my sister. I believe that she always loved you, Gaara-sama. The Shukaku of the Sand is a destructive demon by nature. When the sand protects you, that's your mother's love. I think that your mother's will is carried in the sand. My sister probably wanted to protect you, even after her death."
Yashamaru kept his gaze focused on the picture of Gaara's mother. Gaara looked at her as well, wondering what she was like. Fuu and Naruto's mothers had loved them a lot, so it made sense that his mother loved him too. The thought warmed him up inside.
If love meant caring for and protecting important people, then he had more than enough. He had Fuu, Naruto, Han, Roshi, and all the other jinchuuriki. They comforted him whenever Shukaku tried to take control. They also helped him whenever he needed. That probably means that they love me.
The other people of Suna might be terrified of him, but he had Yashamaru. Even if Yashamaru was the only person in Sunagakure who cared for him, then he would try to protect the village.
Gaara tore his eyes away from the picture to look at his uncle. "Yashamaru," he said.
"Yes?"
"Thanks for stopping me before," Gaara said.
Yashamaru smiled and sucked on his bleeding finger. "I did it because you're an important person to me, Gaara-sama."
Gaara smiled and helped Yashamaru bandage the wound. He helped look for an ointment to give to the girl he had hurt earlier. After that, his uncle left, wishing him luck.
He wanted to go to the girl's home immediately and apologize, but there was something that he needed to do first. Naruto and Fuu should already be in the Room and they worried whenever he didn't appear.
Gaara sat down and leaned against the wall of his bedroom. After years of practice, he could enter the Room almost immediately. He could also stay as long as twenty minutes without issue. He hoped that in the future he would be able to stay there for longer.
When he appeared in the Room, Fuu, Naruto, and Roshi were already there. They were all standing on one leg and concentrating on their balance. Naruto trembled and fell over once he saw Gaara.
"Gaara! Gaara!" he shouted with a grin on his face. "We're having a competition to see who can stand on one leg for longer. I would've won, but you distracted me, ya know!"
Naruto pouted and ran to Gaara, pulling him by the hand to join their circle of jinchuuriki.
"Hi, Gaara-chan!" Fuu said cheerfully. Like Naruto, she shook as she tried to stand on one leg, but she didn't fall over. "I'd give you a hug, but I wanna win!"
Roshi snorted. "As if you have any chance, kid. You can't beat the master." Unlike Fuu or Naruto, Roshi was balanced perfectly on his foot. He looked down at the three children, completely unphased by the test.
Roshi turned his head to looked at Gaara. "Hey, kid, nice that you could make it. Wanna try?"
Gaara nodded his head enthusiastically. "Sure, Mama! It looks fun!"
Gaara tried to balance on one leg as long as he could. However, like Naruto, he stumbled quickly and soon after, Fuu joined him on the floor.
Roshi was the only one left standing, a smirk on his lips and a pleased blush on his face. "I told you I would win," he said. "I've been doing this for longer than you kids have been alive."
He finally put both feet on the ground and bent down to ruffle Gaara's hair. "So how are you, kid? Is everything okay?"
Gaara gave a noncommittal shrug. He wished he hadn't hurt the girl earlier and lost control, but at least he had learned about love.
"I'm okay, I guess," he answered. "But I do have a question for you."
"Oh? What's that?" Roshi gave him a curious glance.
Gaara shifted his feet nervously. He knew that he loved the other jinchuuriki and he would protect them as well as a six-year-old could. However, he wasn't sure if they felt the same way towards him. He took a deep breath to gather his resolve.
"Yashamaru told me something important today," he began, shuffling his feet.
"Important?" Fuu asked from where she sat cross-legged on the ground.
Gaara nodded. "He told me that love is devoting yourself to someone important to you. That it means caring for them and protecting them," he said. "I... care about you a lot... and... I was wondering if you felt the same way."
When he finished speaking, Fuu and Naruto blinked. Before he could react, they jumped forward to hug him. Gaara flinched at the sudden contact but wrapped his arms around them anyway.
"Of course we love you!" Fuu shouted in his ear. "How could we not? You're so cute and smart and adorable and... and... great... and..."
"You're so cool, Gaara!" Naruto shouted from his other ear. "I wish we lived together. I love you, too!"
Gaara felt Roshi's hand on top of his head.
"So love means to protect the people important to you, huh?" Roshi said. "If so, then I guess I do love you, Gaara-chan. You're important to me."
"Oh," Gaara said, eyes looking down. He was overwhelmed with the love he was receiving and he didn't understand how to reply. It's so easy...
"Oh, and before you ask, I think the others feel the same way," Roshi said. "Even though they might not say anything, I know that B, Yugito, Yagura, Han, and Utakata also like you. They think you're cute, at the very least."
"He's not cute!" Fuu protested. "He's adorable!"
"Gaara-chan is super cool!" Naruto added as his grip on Gaara tightened. Gaara felt the air leave his lungs. "I'll beat up anyone who says he's not!"
Roshi snorted. "You're just a kid, Naruto. I think Gaara can handle himself. Isn't that right, Gaara?"
Gaara nodded enthusiastically. He hugged Fuu and Naruto one last time before breaking the embrace. He beamed at the other jinchuuriki and they returned his smile with fond looks.
"Thanks, I love you too," he said before turning his gaze back to Roshi. "Mama, how much time has it been?"
Roshi sighed and scratched the back of his head. "Around ten minutes since you came in," he answered. "We can play a game before you leave."
Gaara nodded eagerly. The four jinchuuriki spent the next ten minutes trying to see who could keep their eyes open the longest. To everyone's shock, Naruto won. He gloated by jumping and dancing around the Room.
Not much later, Gaara had to leave, and he said his goodbyes. He wished he could stay longer, but he also wanted to apologize to the girl he had hurt earlier.
He appeared in his bedroom and saw the paper bag with the ointment inside. Eager and excited, he jumped up and ran out of the house, carrying the medicine in his arms like a treasure. After his conversations with Yashamaru and the jinchuuriki, nothing could ruin the rest of the night.
Gaara arrived at the girl's home and knocked on the front door. The girl opened the door a crack and glared at him. Gaara tried not to let it deter him and he smiled nervously.
"I'm... sorry I hurt you earlier," he said.
"What do you want?" the girl frowned at him but Gaara tried to keep himself calm.
"I brought you some medicine," he said. "It's an ointment that is supposed to-"
Before he could finish explaining himself, the girl slammed the door on his face. "Go away, you freak!" she shouted as she closed the door.
Shocked, the bag fell through his fingers onto the ground. He didn't bother to pick it up before turning around to walk back home.
Why? Why is everyone in Sunagakure like this? Why can't I live with the jinchuuriki instead?
Shukaku's voice, which had been quiet for the past few hours, resurfaced.
'That's because you're a little monster and freak. That girl wasn't lying. Now, give me blood. Those little scratches you put on your uncle are not enough to keep me away for long.'
Gaara pushed the voice away as well as he could. However, the hatred of the Shukaku followed him everywhere. He bit his lip and walked back home, trying to ignore his bijuu's insistent whispers as he looked down at the ground.
On his way home, a man bumped into him.
"Hey, watch where you're going, you brat!" the man shouted, a bottle of sake grasped in one hand. The man turned around to yell some more but stopped himself when he saw Gaara. "Wait, no, you're..."
Why? That look again? Before he could control the urge, sand floated up and headed toward the man. The sand encased him, weighing him down and crushing him to death.
Gaara stared at the corpse numbly. In the back of his mind, he heard Shukaku snickering in happiness, content with the blood sacrifice. He tried to ignore it, but a content bijuu was much better than an enraged one.
He stared at the corpse again as the voice of Shukaku receded into his subconscious. He should feel sad, but he couldn't make himself care about anyone in Suna anymore. He could only trust the other jinchuuriki and Yashamaru. Only Yashamaru.
Gaara kept walking, hearing the murmurs of the other villagers from behind him. He didn't know if he should care what they said or not. All he wanted was to go home.
On his way, he almost bumped into another man leaning against a wall. Curious, he looked up and saw his father, frowning disapprovingly down at him. Despite his earlier numbness, Gaara couldn't help but flinch and look away. Immediately, Shukaku laughed wickedly at his discomfort. Gaara tried to push it away again.
The Kazekage said nothing and instead watched in silence as Gaara walked past to head home. A few minutes later, Gaara sat on the roof of his home, looking up at the full moon.
I guess it's just not possible. Why am I such a monster? What am I? Gaara looked down at his hands and frowned. He hoped that one day more than just the jinchuuriki and Yashamaru would care about him.
Gaara was so lost in his thoughts that he only noticed the attack when the sand rose to protect him. He gasped and spun around to see a man wearing a veil over his face throwing kunai at him.
Why? Why is it always me?!
Gaara snarled. He forced the sand to obey him. With a swish of his hand, the sand rushed forward, crushing the man with a terrible sound.
"Who are you? Why...?" Nervously, he took the veil and pulled it away from the man's face.
"As I expected, Gaara-sama," Yashamaru said in a strained voice, blood dripping from his face.
"Yashamaru!" Gaara fell onto his knees and burst into tears. He clutched his chest in pain as he sobbed onto the floor. Shukaku was screaming delightedly in the back of his mind, but Gaara couldn't make sense of its words.
"Why? Why? Yashamaru, why would you...? How come? Tell me!"
Gaara remembered Yashamaru's words from earlier in the day. Was I not important after all?
"I always... always... thought that you... But..." Gaara tried to get the words out, but his mind was too panicked to be coherent.
Yashamaru glanced at him wearily before talking. "It was an order. I was ordered to kill you. By your father... Kazekage-sama."
"Father did...?" at those words, Gaara lost the contents of his stomach and he only cried harder. I saw Father earlier, and he said nothing to me. "Why would Father want to...? Want me...?"
"You were born with the Shukaku of the Sand and raised as a guinea pig, Gaara-sama," Yashamaru explained, his voice strained from the blood in his lungs. "But since you couldn't control the power of the demon, the sand, it was decided that one day you'd become a problem too dangerous for the village to handle. So I was sent-"
"So father forced you to do this, didn't he, Yashamaru?" Gaara interrupted, and he smiled in relief.
"No, you're wrong," Yashamaru answered and Gaara's heart skipped a beat. "It's true that Kazekage-sama ordered me to, but I could have refused if I wished to. Gaara-sama, deep down inside, I've always... hated you. You took the life of my beloved sister when you were born."
Gaara flinched back at the words as he let Yashamaru continue talking. "In her memory... I desperately tried to love you by thinking of you as her precious child... but I just couldn't. My sister never wanted you to be born. She became this village's sacrifice and died cursing it to her final breath. Since then, my heart has been permanently wounded."
Yashamaru took a shaky breath as he turned his gaze away from Gaara. "My sister said this when you were born: 'This child's name is Gaara, a demon that loves only himself. He will never give love to anyone else. And he shall fight only for himself. That is how he will continue his existence.'"
Gaara trembled as he waited for Yashamaru to finish talking. He had believed his mother had loved him but it had all been a lie. "But your mother didn't give you this name out of love or concern. She gave it to you so you could keep living. Because she wanted her hatred to remain in this village that she hated and cursed as she died. To punish everyone. You were never loved."
Gaara grasped his forehead with the palms of his hands and cried, his head on his knees. He wanted to deny everything and believe that his mother truly loved him. However, the evidence that she didn't was in front of him. Naruto and Fuu's mothers might have loved them, but not Gaara. Never Gaara.
From the corner of his eye, he saw that Yashamaru had opened up his vest. His chest was covered in exploding tags but Gaara was too shocked to consider moving.
"This is it," Yashamaru murmured, voice cold. "Please die."
The tags exploded all at once, but, predictably, the sand jumped in front, shielding him from the blast. When the explosion died down, Gaara was alone on the roof, his head on his knees as he sobbed.
I'm all alone.
'Yes, you are, little boy. Now, let me out. I know you want to destroy this village as much as I do.'
'But... I…'
Gaara forced himself to swallow and think. Shukaku was wrong. He wasn't alone. He had Naruto and Fuu to play with. He had Han and Roshi to tell him stories. He had Yugito, Killer B, and Utakata to teach him. He had Yagura to tell him about the world outside of Suna.
'No. No, I'm not alone.'
'Yes, you are! Now, let me out!' Shukaku shrieked.
Gaara looked at the sand and what remained of Yashamaru. The only thing he wanted was to be somewhere safe.
He knew that Shukaku would come out, but he didn't care anymore. The village was worthless. The bijuu could destroy it. It meant nothing anymore.
Gaara heard a delighted laugh from Shukaku as he allowed the bijuu to take control. He concentrated and when he blinked, he was inside the Room. To his surprise, all the other jinchuuriki were there, looking anxious about something. They turned to stare at him, freezing as they saw the tears in his eyes.
"Gaara-chan!" Han reacted first. He leaped forward to kneel in front of him. "What happened? Are you all right?"
Gaara shook his head. Before he could answer, Han picked him up into his arms. Gaara wrapped his arms around Han's neck, where he buried his face and burst into fresh tears. Keeping his hold tight, Han carried him back to where the other jinchuuriki were fretting anxiously.
"Something happened," Yagura said. "I felt it, even while I was asleep."
"Are you okay, kid?" Yugito asked with her arms crossed over her chest. Despite her deliberate calm, her eyebrows were furrowed in worry.
"No," Gaara answered through his sobbing. "I killed my uncle. I'm alone now."
Gaara felt Han tense at the words but the man didn't drop him and instead placed a reassuring hand on his back. Gaara wrapped his arms tighter around his neck in comfort.
"Han, you're too tall!" Roshi complained. "We can't comfort Gaara if you keep holding him up!"
Han sighed and he sat down cross-legged on the floor. Immediately, Gaara felt Fuu and Naruto join at his sides.
"I'm sorry, Gaara-chan," Fuu said. "But you're not alone! We're here!"
Naruto nodded furiously. "Yeah, what she said! You're not alone as long as you got us, ya know!"
The other jinchuuriki spoke to him one by one, trying to offer some comfort. Despite the situation, Gaara wanted to smile. They were his real family, more than his father or even Yashamaru.
Eventually, his crying petered out. Slightly calmer, he looked around the Room at the assembled jinchuuriki. He wiped his face with his forearm.
"Thank you," he whispered as he looked down at the floor.
"You're welcome!" Naruto shouted happily and beamed before throwing his arms around Gaara in a hug. "And one day we're gonna live together, ya know!"
"Together?" Gaara asked.
Naruto nodded. "Yeah! All of us in one house together! It's gonna be great! We can share a room and eat ramen together! And when Fuu gets home from school, we'll be there to say hello to her!"
"All of us?"
"Yeah, that'll be amazing!" Fuu said. "We can all live in one house together!"
"Do you think so?" Gaara asked, daring to get his hopes up. "Do you promise?"
"I promise," Naruto and Fuu said at the same time.
Gaara smiled. It sounded almost too good to be true. "I'm looking forward to it," he said.
Now that Yashamaru was dead, he knew that he would never receive any kind of love from anyone in Sunagakure. He had to leave the village as soon as he could, no matter the cost.
"Just remember, Gaara," Roshi said. Gaara turned to look up at him. "Don't let your father extract your bijuu. If he does, you die."
At the stark reminder, a chill ran down Gaara's spine. He nodded seriously. He would wait until the time was right. He was glad that he had the other jinchuuriki to guide him until that time came. He wouldn't be alone. The thought comforted him and he left the safety of Han's lap to stand up.
Gaara sighed. He needed to keep Shukaku under control as much as he could. Unfortunately, that meant leaving the Room. He didn't want his father to use the Gold Dust to crush him again.
Gaara turned to look at the gathered jinchuuriki. They gave him encouraging smiles. Gaara swallowed, feeling something lodged in his throat. So this is what receiving true love feels like.
He returned their smiles shakily and forced himself to leave the Room and wake up.
When he opened his eyes to the real world, he was on the roof of a different building. He looked around the village. He saw devastation everywhere, no doubt from when Shukakaku was released. He wanted to feel sorry for the destruction, but he couldn't and he didn't want to. He almost wished he had been sleeping longer. The village might have been completely leveled if he had. But I can't risk my father hurting the others again.
His father... no, the Kazekage stood on another roof. His eyes had rings around them. However, the marks disappeared when he saw that Gaara was awake and conscious once more.
Gaara glared at the Kazekage coldly. He had ruined not only his life but also the life of his mother and uncle. He hated the man more than he had hated anyone else. He wanted to kill him, but he couldn't. Gaara was not strong enough. Yet.
He scrunched up his face and growled at the man before turning around and heading home. One day Gaara would leave and never come back. One day that man will die.
O-O-O-O-O
A/N: If Roshi were a Brooklynn 99 inspired quote, he would be "I've known these children for a few years, and if anything happened to them, I would kill everyone in the world and then myself."
If you wish to get in contact with me, my username on Tumblr is waffledogwrites.
Next chapter: Naruto meets an old man.