"Thou blind man's mark, thou fool's self-chosen snare,
Fond fancy's scum, and dregs of scattered thought
Band of all evils, cradle of causeless care
Thou web of will, whose end is never wrought
Desire, desire ! I have too dearly bought,
With price of mangled mind, thy worthless ware
Too long, too long, asleep thou hast me brought,
Who shouldst my mind to higher things prepare.
But yet in vain thou hast my ruin sought
In vain thou madest me to vain things aspire
In vain thou kindlest all thy smoky fire
For virtue hath this better lesson taught,—
Within myself to seek my only hire,
Desiring nought but how to kill desire."

-Sir Philip Sidney

He stood on the bridge overlooking the Seine, watching the reflections of the moon ripple across the river. One jump, one fall, one moment and it would all be over. No more memories, no more sorrow. The pain of the past lifetime would be washed away by the tides of the broken water below him, and he would be free from the chain that bound him to an anchor of bitter nostalgia that had anchored itself in his heart and drowned out the voice of hope.

He stepped forward, drawing closer to the stony edge. Just one jump, he thought. Just one. He stepped onto the ledge and paused, sighing deeply. After a few moments he began to pace back and forth, and the tears that he had held back for so long fell down his cheeks, freed from the imprisonment his soul had condemned them to. But he did not care; not any more.

Is this what it's come to?

But as Erik continued to think about the situation before him, the choice he had to make, something inside pulled him towards life. You call this life? You aren't even human, you monster. Where do you belong? Erik stopped pacing and closed his eyes. In Hell.

Looking again at the water, Erik fully understood what he, in his complete and utter solitude, was about to do. His head had fallen to stare at the ground, but his heart turned heavenward, cursing the God who had let his life become so pitiful and desolate. Damn you! How could you do this to me? His whole life he had lived with the knowledge that it was his face that drove people away, poisoning and killing every hope he had inside of him. He would never know kindness because of it.

He had thought that time would heal the wounds of his heart, but instead they had only replaced his feelings of rejections with an emptiness that ate away at his soul and destroyed all aspiration he had of ever being considered human. If Christine would turn him away, what hope had he of being accepted in the world that so easily judged and condemned without ever looking at the person inside? Looks were everything, and if you had none then you had nothing. The harshness of life was far too great for him to face and here he was, prepared to end it all. His foot slowly rose and hovered over the edge of the bridge, suspended dangerously above the water.

Until next time…

He slowly opened his eyes to stare up at the cloudless night sky. The moon, in all its glory, illuminated the city, its alabaster hue a stark contrast to the ebony blanket of stars that lay behind it.

Until next time…

Erik sighed, hearing Alexa's voice ripple back through the city and echo in his ears. He lowered his head to look down into the water only to find that the moons reflection sat still on the river's surface, not a wave or ripple within it. Looking up into the sky, he sighed at the moon and returned his foot to the pavement.

I hate you, he shot towards the heavens as he made his way back to the darkness of his home, his resolve to end his life broken by the light that shone down on him.

Walking down the narrow hallway, Alexa and Luka stopped before the door to his bedroom. She gently nudged him inside and followed him in.

"Come on, in you go." She drew back the blankets and waited for him to climb in before pulling the heavy bedspread around his shoulders to protect him from the cold of the night. "Goodnight darling."

"Uh huh." He whispered weakly, sleep taking over his enervated body. "Neni?" Alexa had started to turn to leave, but hearing his questioning tone she turned to face him, worried about what his question would be.

"What, kedves?"

"Is he really going to come back? Because…um… remember those ladies and…and they didn't come back, and, um… no one else came back and I was wondering if he was like them or if he was going to come back like he said."

She walked back to him and bent down to kiss his forehead, smiling at him. "I think he will, Luka. I really do." She tucked the blanket around his shoulders, and kissed his cheek again. "Goodnight, my darling."

"Goodnight Neni. Neni?"

She smiled as she stopped, and once again turned to answer his question.

"Why does he wear a mask?"

The smile slowly fell from Alexa's face when she remembered the anger in Erik's voice as he had questioned her about it earlier. Her cheeks flushed as she remembered their quarrel, and she regretted calling him shallow; he had implied that there had been something wrong with his face, although he had not directly told her. She looked over to Luka, and sighed.

"I don't know, but he wears one for a reason, and need to respect that. Hm?"

"But his mask is on this side," he said, pointing to the scars that covered his right cheek.

"I know."

"Well, do you think that he is maybe like this? Like me?"

"I don't know Luka, but I want you to listen to me." She walked over to him and kneeled by his bedside, leaning into the mattress to whisper in his ear. "Don't ask him about it, alright? Okay?" He hesitated before nodding in agreement, and Alexa knew that that was not what he had wanted to hear. "When he is ready to tell us about it he will, but you will not mention it to him." She softened her tone and kissed his cheek. "If he is like you, then he is like you. That doesn't change him, and you know that. We must not pay any mind to it; pretend like it doesn't exist. Okay?"

"Okay. Goodnight." Alexa kissed his forehead again and rose, and as she walked away she could hear him struggle against the coughing that was trying to force its way out of his chest.

"Night, Luka."

She closed the door behind her as she left the room, and prepared herself for Erik's continued questions. She was not anxious to continue their previous conversation, but feared that it might be inevitable. What Luka had said rang through her mind. What if he is scarred? That would explain his behavior, I suppose. But what other reasons could he have for the mask? She had never heard of people covering their deformities before, but now that she thought about it, it made sense; to hide the thing that would condemn you in society's eyes was a natural response. If I can do it why not he? Because yours is not external, that's why.

She pushed the thoughts out of her head, and replaced her pensive frown with a smile as she turned the corner into the kitchen. But looking around she did not see Erik, and could hear nothing except for the gently cooing of the dove.

She sighed, the burden of betrayal weighing down her heart as she realized that he had left. Crestfallen and cheerless, she began to make her way around the table, dragging her feet in dejected silence as she gathered the dishes and washed them, putting them away in their rightful spot. I should have known. Damn me, I should have known. She was going to have a hard time explaining this to Luka. He had never spoken to anyone that early. Not even me.

She berated herself for inviting him in to begin with. Why would he be different? She sighedleaning her forehead against the wall in total hopelessness God, why do I keep doing this to him? To myself? She remembered how in the past, as she would meet and make friends with the women in the market and invite them to meet her Luka, they would shrink back in revulsion and run away screaming obscenities so cruel that even thinking about them caused a chill to run down Alexa's spine. A solitary tear slid down her porcelain cheek. You were supposed to be different.

A low and somber rustling brought her out of her thoughts, and she looked to the table to see the dove hovering in the bowl, its feathers puffed out about its shattered body. Hearing the bird, she turned her attention to it and carefully gathered a handful of water into a saucer, holding it before the bird. Hesitant at first, the dove finally realized Alexa's intentions and drank. When it had finished Alexa lowered the water to the table and reached out to stroke the bird's back. Its breathing had become slow and deep, the shock of its broken wing weakening its spirit. She let the tears flow freely as she calmed the dove, whispering to it words of comfort and hope.

"Ne add fel…verekszik kicsi egy, verekszik."

Hungarian Trasnlations:

Kedves: my darling

Ne add fel: don't give up

Verekszik kicsi egy , verekszik: fight little one, fight.

A/N...So, what do you think?

This chapter has me very nervous...i really hoped that you like it. PLEASE REVIEW. You have no idea how much i need your reviews on this one.

Beautiful Revolution