Chapter 3 – The Rebellion

Author's Note: In which two certain brothers finally decide to hug it out. =D And the others continue realizing exactly how messed up Anakin is. ;~;

~ Rivana Rita

If there's a fic you'd like us to write, I have a SW fic request form which you can fill out. We'll gift write all the requests we get… eventually. :D The link is as follows, but with no spaces: forms . gle / rmXWtRomMMaULuPa6

We also made a tribute for Anakin on our new YT channel. Check it out if you're interested. :P Again, no spaces in the link: youtu . be / T9hdVkokQa4

~ Amina Gila

Kanan isn't really sure what it was that woke him up this time. He feels more alert at least, so he takes that as a plus. Ezra is curled up next to him on the seats which they decided to temporarily turn into bed Kanan isn't really sure what it was that woke him up this time. He feels more alert at least, so he takes that as a plus. Ezra is curled up next to him on the seats which they decided to temporarily turn into beds throughout the rest of their trip, still fast asleep. Vader – Anakin, he reminds himself. Not Vader, apparently – and Ahsoka are curled up together across from him. The Togruta is sleeping, but the former Sith is staring up at the ceiling, his eyes open.

Kanan stares at him for a moment, tempted to start talking but then deciding against it. After all, why would he even want to? This is a Sith Lord, Darth Vader, no less. The other boy turns his head a bit but doesn't move other than that lest he awaken Ahsoka who's sleeping against him, blue eyes narrowing a little. Okay, maybe staring at him wasn't the best idea.

"You shouldn't be here," he grumbles in spite of himself.

"Why don't you talk to Ahsoka about it? I'm sure she'd be more than happy to kick me out," he retorts, a tinge of bitterness in his voice before he looks back up at the ceiling.

A sudden beeping reminds Kanan instantly of exactly what it is that's about to happen. Right. They were on the way to the Rebel base, and are about to see Hera again, and – oh no. The ship jolts out of hyperspace and Kanan scrambles down from the not-bed they'd been sleeping on. "Come on, we're there," he calls, heading up to the controls and spinning the chair around with way too much effort. The others are getting up grumpily behind him when Kanan is dragging himself up into the seat. It's insanely high. Even worse, he'd have to stand to reach the ship's controls. This is ridiculous.

"There's no way we're just going to get off the ship in front of everyone and announce that we have Darth Vader with us," Ezra declares flatly.

"Chopper, land the ship," Kanan requests, sitting down grumpily. "And no, Ezra, we can't."

"Well. What do we do?"

"Why not send your droid out there if it's such a problem?" Anakin suggests.

"Good idea," Ahsoka agrees. The Phantom lands, and the engine dies with a whirr while she walks over to the droid. "Why don't you just tell Hera there were some complications and we can discuss them on the Ghost?"

Chopper beeps and salutes her with one of his arms. He plugs himself in again to open the door.

"Everyone. Get out of sight," Kanan warns, spinning the seat around. Ezra scrambles over to him and is half-way into the seat – they're so small two of them can squeeze into the tiny space – by the time the ramp lowers. The other two just take the floor in front of the seat. He hears Chopper rolling away and the sound of talking outside, which he doesn't risk paying attention to. It would've been much easier if they just went to the Ghost right away. Why didn't he think about it? Oh, right. He did. He just doesn't want to see Hera right away.

He can't hear the conversation outside, but in some ways, that's making him even more anxious. It's completely unreasonable, but it is. Calm, he reminds himself. Jedi are supposed to be calm. Not that he's been exactly calm since they came to Malachor in the first place. He definitely hasn't been calm since this started. He'd barely had time to recover from the fact that he suddenly got his eyesight back – not to mention losing it in the first place – before he realized Anakin was Vader, no less. He hasn't had time to think over any of this. The person he practically worshiped is the very Sith Lord he's been hunting to kill. The one who destroyed the Jedi. It's almost unreal. But even beneath all that, it's obvious he's not completely out of it. Maybe it's just that he's a child again.

How are they supposed to get back to their normal bodies? Kanan has no idea. They'll have to ask someone for help. Master Yoda, perhaps? Except, how are they supposed to get ahold of him again? The temple on Lothal was destroyed, and they have no other known way of contacting the Jedi Master. Maybe Ahsoka or Vader will have an idea, though he really doesn't want to talk to Vader about this. He does just want to throw him off the ship and be done with it, but that would be cruel and dangerous. They would have no way to know what the Sith would do next.

The next few minutes of Chopper cheerfully returning and flying the Phantom back to attach it to the Ghost pass painfully slowly. He senses the crew waiting outside the door when they land for the second time and the doors open.

"Time to go," sings out Ahsoka and jumps up. Anakin reluctantly follows.

Kanan climbs down after trying to convince himself that there really isn't anything scary about this (and admittedly, failing pathetically), and heads for the doorway without daring to look up.

"I know Chopper told us what happened, but this is..." Sabine is the first to speak.

"Outrageous?" Zeb supplies.

"Insane," the Mandalorian corrects.

"At least you're... all alright," Hera interjects, sounding not exactly certain.

Kanan still can't bring himself to look up at her. He's supposed to be almost thirty, but now he's stuck in the body of a five-year-old. He's about to whine about it but the words die as he hears Rex coming forwards, maneuvering his way around the others to the front. Everything falls dead silent. Motionless. He risks casting a glance towards the other children. Ezra is obviously confused. Ahsoka's excitement seems to fade to something else, and Anakin is completely frozen, expression one of pure shock. "Rex?" he whispers finally.

"General?" There are too many emotions in his voice for Kanan to decipher.

"You – you're..." he chokes out.

"Sorry I never told you, I never really thought about it," Ahsoka blurts out.

Rex steps into the room and Ezra grabs Kanan's arm, tugging him in the direction of the doorway. He doesn't want to risk leaving Vader alone with any of the crew, even Rex. But something about the boy's expression nags at something deep within him. No, this is a Sith, he tries to convince himself. But the Force doesn't lie, and he can sense vague whisps of Anakin's shock.

Kanan's not quite sure what he was expecting to happen, but Anakin bolting across the area and throwing himself into the clone's arms was not on the list. Ahsoka joins the hugging party a second later, and Kanan decides that it's their cue to leave.

Maybe Anakin is more capable of having emotions than he thought.

**w**

Ahsoka is frankly shocked they managed to make it through the rest of the day without anyone almost killing each other. She feels content, until she realizes the distrustful looks the other children keep giving Anakin. No one else has any idea who he used to be. It wasn't something they wanted to risk telling anyone, even if they have to find out eventually. After all, none of the Rebels would agree to keeping Darth Vader in their midst. She can't even blame them. The secret is kept just among the four of them, and they'll consider telling everyone else... later. Just not until everyone can somewhat get used to each other, because if Ahsoka sees one more person looking at Anakin like he might explode or something, she's not to blame for any dead bodies they have to hide.

Hera had left to attempt explaining to command exactly how the three Jedi had returned with a tag-along Anakin Skywalker, and how they all got turned back into little children. Ahsoka doesn't expect anyone to be happy about it, but she's just glad he's here. After spending fifteen years thinking he was dead, there's nothing she could have wanted more than to see him again.

He's constantly sliding from being the general – controlled and collected, her brother – gentle and caring yet somewhat playful, Vader – dark, more from too many emotions he's struggling to contain than actually being evil, and someone else she doesn't know. It hurts seeing him so conflicted, so... broken. It hurts knowing she caused this. One different choice, none of this would've happened. She needs to stop thinking about this. It won't change the fact. Now they can only focus on healing, but Ahsoka has no idea what Anakin wants to do or who he wants to be.

"Bedtime, children," Sabine calls. Of everyone, she seems altogether way too gleeful about all of this. Hera seems minorly appalled – not that anyone can blame her for it – and Rex seems to be taking everything in stride.

"I am not a child," Anakin grumbles. Ahsoka snorts. That's the most childish thing she's heard out of him so far.

"No way," Ezra replies flatly, crossing his arms. "It's way too early. You're not going to get me to start sleeping like a child just because I look like one."

"Maybe I'll let you doodle on my wall tomorrow," she offers.

"We really don't need to be coaxed into bed," Kanan argues. "Where are they staying?" He motions to Anakin and Ahsoka.

"Since I don't think Ezra can reach his bunk, and I doubt Kanan wants to stay with Hera, you'll all be in here," she finishes over the five-year-old Jedi Knight's outraged gasp.

"I will not sleep near him," Kanan huffs, glaring at Anakin who glares right back.

"And I'm staying with Anakin," Ahsoka interjects, glaring back at him. One more. Just one more...

"All right, duel it out. Just don't wreck the ship."

At the end of the day, after another shouting match and a few near fist fights that bring Zeb in to drag everyone apart, they do. All four of them climb very awkwardly into the bed, Ahsoka trying to ignore how weird it is to be stuck between Anakin and Ezra when she barely knows the other boy. Anakin and Kanan are at far opposite ends in the hopes of them not accidently stabbing each other by the end of the night. All things considered, the fact that everyone on the ship is still alive is something Ahsoka should be grateful for. Right now, though, she's just very, very grumpy. It's certainly not helping she can't seem to fall asleep.

Every time she starts dosing off, she jerks awake again. It doesn't help that her head is throbbing. She blames the idiots who were yelling all around her, also known as a supposed Jedi and the Sith Lord the galaxy has dreaded who are both now sleeping very innocently beside her. One of these days, she promises. Eventually, she gives up on rolling around altogether. She probably should've taken up Hera's offer to go stay with her. Or even Sabine. This is outrageous. The bed isn't comfortable, especially not since everyone is sleeping on it sideways so they can all fit, but it shouldn't be this annoying.

Right when Ahsoka is about to get up and just call it a night simply because she's getting so tired of laying around does she sense something. Anakin. A stab of fear is shooting through their bond, though he's clearly sleeping. Nightmares? She feels a pang of sympathy. Ahsoka still has problems with nightmares occasionally, and it was a major problem during the war. Luckily, Anakin was always there, but they landed even beyond when she was – no. Focus. Somehow, she needs to wake up her older brother without accidently triggering him to have another fit.

He's tossing and turning now, and Ahsoka senses his rapidly growing distress. "Anakin!" she calls quietly. "Anakin!" He jolts again but doesn't actually awaken. He's only growing more and more panicked, though he's not really making any noise. Like he's forcing himself to be as quiet as possible lest it draw attention to him. Like he's trying to hide.

Ahsoka isn't quite sure when the other boys awoke, but they're sitting up, watching warily. She reaches over, shaking his shoulder. He jolts away from her sharply, a strangled sound escaping him. She flinches, pulling back. She really doesn't know what is haunting him right now, or how to stop it. Sidious took away fifteen years of her life, the life she could've spent with her brother. She lost all that time, and nothing will ever bring it back. Unless of course, they're stuck growing up from five now.

"This isn't working." Kanan speaks up suddenly. "We need to try something else."

"Something like what?" Ezra demands.

"I'll try the Force," Ahsoka suggests, mentally reaching through their bond. She runs right into a wall, though his fear and pain are slipping through. She doesn't want to how he's feeling if she can pick up so much through his shields. She pushes again, but he jolts away violently. "I can't. He's pushing me out." She looks up helplessly at the others. She doesn't know what to do, and... ugh, she hates this. So much. She wants to help Anakin, nothing more, but she doesn't know how. It's like she forfeited that right when she left the Order. Which really, she did.

"I know!" Ezra announces, sliding off the bed and sprinting out of the room.

"That's ever a good sign," Kanan mutters warily.

The padawan reenters a moment later with a glass of water and an overly proud grin.

"How did I know you were going to do that?" his master asks with a sigh.

"Maybe you just know me well."

This is nice and all, but they have no time for it. "Kanan, can I trust you to do this without being mean about it?" she asks.

"Given the circumstances, it might be better if you would –"

"No." Ahsoka scrambles off the bed, leaving the space between them open. "Go ahead. I think you're the only one mad enough."

"I'm not mad," he grumbles but takes the glass anyway and dumps maybe a bit too much over Anakin's head. The way he practically teleports off the bed and onto the floor would have been far more amusing if not for the circumstances. Ahsoka scrambles to his side, kneeling in front of him. He slowly pushes himself up, pausing when he sees his hands. He raises them slowly, staring like he's not sure they belong to him.

"Anakin?" she asks quietly, reaching out to touch his shoulder.

He flinches violently, scooting away from her. Ahsoka freezes mid-movement, trying not let it sting as much as it does. He's been stuck in a suit for fifteen years, of course he doesn't like people touching him. He's not used to it anymore. His blue eyes are flickering gold, half hazed over like he's not really seeing.

"What's the matter with him?" Ezra whispers.

"We might've woken him up, but he still seems stuck in the memory," Kanan explains quietly. Ahsoka doesn't ask how he knows, but she doesn't look away from her former master. He's completely tense, like he's certain something is about to jump out of nowhere and try to kill him. Or maybe cause serious bodily harm.

"Anakin?" Ahsoka asks carefully, reaching for him a little slower. She doesn't want to scare him, but she can't just keep sitting here! She wants to scream, but the childish part of her just wants to cry. This is so unfair. He's changed so much, it's like she doesn't know him anymore, and it hurts.

"Stop calling me that!" he hisses sharply, and she'll just take him talking at all as a good sign, though he sounds... wrong.

"Then what am I supposed to call you?" she retorts. "I'm not calling you Master anymore. And you'd probably take my head off if I called you Skyguy."

He looks up at her, his anger seeming to fade to something more like defeat. "Ahsoka?" he asks slowly.

"Yes, it's me." It would have come out as something snippier if she wasn't so worried about him right now.

"You came back," he whispers, seeming more confused than anything else. He's not completely present so she doesn't comment about how it was technically him who came back.

"I came back," she assures, risking moving closer.

He doesn't pull away this time, though he still seems confused. "You left me." He says it like it's such a simple fact. Ahsoka, why did you leave? Where were you when I needed you? She nearly chokes as the memory flickers through her mind again.

I made a choice. I couldn't stay. True, she couldn't have, but did she really have to leave him? She didn't think nearly hard enough about the pain she would cause her brother.

You were selfish! At one point, Ahsoka may have fought against it, but seeing Anakin like this, she knows it's the truth.

You abandoned me! You failed me! Do you know what I have become?

Now, she can only flinch and concede how true that was. She failed him in every way she could have. "I won't leave you," she promises, tears tracking their way down her cheeks. "Not this time."

He tilts his head enough to look up at her, seeming speechless for a long moment before he finally says, "How can I know? I never would've... You just walked away, like he did." Ahsoka wants to ask who the 'he' is, but Anakin doesn't give her the chance. "I know I'm not worth it, but you left the 501st and Padme."

Ahsoka's arguing instincts start kicking in until she suddenly registers exactly what he just said. "What do you mean, you're not worth it?" she squeaks. "Of course, you are!"

He sits back, looking hopelessly confused. "What do you mean?"

Her heart wrenches painfully and millions of things she'd gathered from him with their time together. Things she'd learned from her time as Fulcrum and during the Empire. She remembers Obi-Wan telling her once upon a time that Anakin used to be a slave. "How long have you thought that?" she whispers shakily. "Tell me."

"Why are you acting like it's the strangest thing you've heard?" he snaps suddenly. "Because I'm a Sith, you think I should only be thinking about myself?"

She jerks back. "What? No!"

"Anakin," Kanan says slowly, stepping forwards. He bears a stricken expression. "From before. How long have you thought you didn't mean anything?"

Anakin stares back blankly. "I don't. You'd all be happy to have me gone."

"Excuse me?" Ahsoka yells. "Do I look like I'd be happy to have you gone?"

"I need to be anyway!" he shouts back. "Or I will kill you all. It's a matter of time."

"Is that supposed to be a threat?" Ezra asks.

"It's a fact," Anakin snaps, standing up. He spins around and stalks out of the room, leaving the three of them behind.

She collapses back to the ground, watching as the door slides shut behind him. It would be a miracle if they didn't awaken the entire ship from that argument. She doesn't really care. Anakin doesn't trust them, and he doesn't even trust himself. She knew having been a slave had scarred him, but she had no idea it ran so deep. To the point that if people don't show openly that they care for him, he'll think they don't simply because he doesn't think they could. Because he doesn't think he's worth it. All the time as his padawan, she knew he was different from how compassionate he was, but she had no idea it meant this. She could have known. She should have, but she didn't. And Obi-Wan definitely should have known. Suddenly, she wants to go find him – assuming he's still out there – and give him a serious piece of her mind for being such a blind idiot. Not that she's any better, but still.