Chapter 7 – Old Friends Not Forgotten

Author's Note: Hi! :D After watching the OWK series I finally came back to finish this. ^-^ Sorry for the long wait, but at least I have some idea what I'm doing with Vaderkin and Obi-Wan's conversation. xD

Anyways, this chapter has been re-edited, so please reread it. :)

~ Rivana Rita

Ahsoka isn't really sure how they managed to convince Anakin of this, but somehow, they ended up leaving the next morning. So now they're here. She isn't sure whether she should be scared or excited that she's going to meet one of her old friends again, one who she was so certain was dead for fifteen years. But she has no idea how he acts now, how everything that happened has affected him. She knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that he would have felt it when Anakin Fell, and knows of his fate. He's not going to be the person she used to know, and she has no idea how he's going to react to seeing her. He'll be glad, right?

She has no idea.

All she could think about the last time they meant was the terms they parted on, and now, years later, she really feels bad that they literally fought the entire time there, and most of all, that Anakin was caught in the middle of it. If not for that… maybe everything would have gone differently, but the past is the past.

And none of her daydreams help with the present, because she has no idea how to act, and the unbearable nervousness coursing through her is only increasing as Hera lands the ship.

She can only hope Obi-Wan might be able to provide some insight on what to do about Anakin. Something is wrong and she doesn't know what, but Obi-Wan should know what to do. He always has.

Ahsoka's gaze wanders to where Anakin is seated next to Rex, backed up as far as he can against the seat. He looks so young, so vulnerable like that. He's scared. She can feel it, but she doesn't know why. She highly suspects the only reason he isn't panicking is since Rex and Sabine have been having a far too animated conversation – about blasters of all things – that she doesn't care to listen to. Or at least that's how it started. Mandalorians.

After a moment of thought, she makes her way over to him and climbs up next to him. He glances over at her, expression unreadable, but remains silent. "You don't have to go out there," she reminds. "I can handle this and tell you what we figured out."

"If you figure anything out," he replies dully.

"Can't we at least try to be a little more optimistic about this?" grumbles Kanan.

"No."

Ahsoka tries to maintain some semblance of calm as she, Kanan, and Ezra leave the ship. She has no idea how Obi-Wan will react to seeing them. Especially since they're literally… little children again.

And what she really isn't expecting is that he's waiting for them. He looks so… so… old. "Ahsoka?" At least he sounds the same.

The question of how he knew they were coming die on her lips, and she's suddenly struck by the realization of exactly how long it's been since she's last seen him. Without a second thought, she sprints up the sand hill and throws herself into his arms. He catches her awkwardly but doesn't pull away, so she takes it as a plus.

He feels so different in the Force. So much… darker. After what happened, it's not a surprise, but that doesn't mean it's easy to see him like this. "How'd you know we were coming?" she asks finally.

"I felt the disturbance. I sensed you."

Ahsoka pulls back, mildly annoyed she's so much smaller than him again. "Do you know what to do?"

"Why don't you start from the beginning?"

So, she does. Right back at the very start. Despite her better judgment, she starts talking. "We were being hunted by Inquisitors and we decided to take the fight to them, which led us to Malachor and to Vader. We were fighting and then we started fighting over a Sith holocron and the next thing I know, I ended up like this." She waves her hands at herself. "And we were all tiny and Ezra and Kanan left, and I pulled Anakin out of that nightmare machine.

"We went back to the rebel base, and we just… stayed there and tried to figure out what to do. We didn't get anywhere, but – but something's wrong with Anakin. I mean, I've dealt a bit with freed slaves, and there's… ugh. I don't know what they're called. Their minds work differently because something about being messed up, and I see that all over him." She bites her lip, wondering if she went too far, but keeps talking.

"I have no idea what's been happening to him, but he panics at, like, every little thing. He even panicked when I said your name. But we were all in the same room as that holocron and it was giving us all nightmares, I think of our worst memories and fears, and when I was in that I saw you here. That's how we figured out where to go." By the time she's done talking, Obi-Wan looks – and feels – very upset. Not the angry kind, either, and that's the worst part. "Do you know what to do?" she asks in a rush. "I can't stand seeing him like this."

"Ahsoka. You shouldn't have brought him here."

His response floors her. "What?" she squeaks. "Why? He had to come with us, and you were the only person I could find."

"All that aside," Kanan interrupts, "I think the important question is what we're going to do."

No one has a chance to answer. The Force hums in warning, of danger and darkness. No, no, no – "Stay here," is all Ahsoka says before sprinting back to the ship.

When she arrives and pushes past everyone in the way no questions asked, Anakin is pacing in their cabin, arms crossed. He stops when she enters, turning slowly. His eyes are gold again. Mostly. Force, what did she cause?

"Anakin?" Ahsoka asks slowly, stepping forwards. She doesn't know if he wants her nearby right now.

"'Soka." His voice is strained. He's breathing way too fast, and she's pretty sure the longer they stay here, the worse he's getting. They need to hurry, but she has no idea how long it'll take. Obi-Wan was right. She should never have brought him here, but she did, and now she has to make this right somehow.

"I'm sorry," she whispers, cautiously approaching him. He doesn't back away, which she's thankful for. "I should've listened…"

"You did what you had to." He sounds far too lifeless.

"I chose myself over you. Again." Her eyes burn but she stubbornly refuses to cry. "I wasn't really thinking before bringing you here."

His eyes narrow. "What did he tell you?"

"Nothing. But I know something's wrong." He watches her scrutinizing but remains silent. She hates the silence. It feels like mistrust. It didn't used to be this way, but what did? "We were supposed to do everything together."

"It was your choice not to."

She flinches but can't object. It's the truth, one that only comes back to haunt her. She doesn't really know how it happened, but somehow, she ends up with her arms around him again, face pressed into his shoulder. Neither says a word, but there's not much they could say anymore. Not that hasn't already been said.

"We need to go outside," Anakin warns at last. "I sense… someone. Maul."

"What?" Ahsoka yelps, pulling back. "How?"

"He followed us here."

**w**

Anakin can't quite say why he thought this was a good idea. Or why he bothered at all. But he and Ahsoka are out here now – him clumsily holding a much-too-big lightsaber in both hands that used to belong to Ahsoka because she pitched a fit about him taking his red one – facing Maul. "You shouldn't've come back," Anakin warns.

"You can't expect me to fear you."

Is that what he thinks? He's not going to let the Sith escape a second time. He's collateral damage now, and they can't afford Sidious to find out exactly what happened. Not until they've fixed this mess, assuming they actually can.

"What do you want?" Ahsoka demands, raising her other lightsaber. She's holding it in both hands, about to ignite it even though the blade is literally longer than she is tall. "If you're here to finish your fight, you're going to have to wait. And if you're after Sidious, you can be of use."

"He's not all I'm here for."

Of course, Maul won't give up that quickly. "Concern yourself with petty matters after Sidious has been dealt with."

"He is not the only threat," the former Sith Lord growls.

Snap-hiss. "Don't you dare," Ahsoka snarls, the white blade raised. It looks awkward for her, struggling to hold it in a semi-decent position, but he trained her well on fighting much bigger opponents. Not this much bigger, but the idea is the same. In a flash, she's shoved him behind her, standing protectively. He's missed this. He's missed her. He's missed the feel of family. The feel of protection, though there's nothing she can do now.

"You will fail," Anakin warns.

He doesn't have a warning before the Force tightens around his neck, jerking him into the air. Torrents of memories are assaulting his mind at once and he struggles, fighting back instantly. Reaching into the Force. He can't die yet. Not yet. Once Sidious is gone. It's been his goal from the very start. And he won't rest until he's gone. Darkness blurs the edges of his vision, but he reaches deeper into the Force and rips the grip off himself. He falls to the ground, panting, just as Ahsoka lunges forwards, only for her to be flung away across a hill.

Maul is approaching him now, and Anakin knows he should get up, and he would have, if he didn't suddenly feel that presence again. He's close. Too close. Memories burn at the edge of his consciousness. No, there's no time, he needs to move. He can't die, not yet. He doesn't even know when it changed, because he was planning to let Malachor be the end, decided with finality the moment his sister proved she'd rather see him dead then help him again.

The Force is humming in warning, but all he can focus on are the memories burning – literally – at the edge of his mind. It's never happened before that he just froze, and he knows something's wrong with him. Or maybe it's that he just doesn't care after all. It's what he's wanted, right? For everything to end?

The sound of lightsabers clashing makes him look up. Of course. Obi-Wan came to finish up his fight with Maul from years ago. A semi-hysterical part of his mind wonders if it's the only fight that'll be finished today, and he opts to ignore it in favor of scrambling over to Ahsoka, who's sitting up looking slightly dazed.

She reaches out to tightly grip his shaking hand.

This. This is it.

There's talking in the background, but he doesn't let himself focus on anything or anyone other than Ahsoka. There are more pressing matters to worry about.

"You need to take out Sidious, whatever it takes," Anakin tells her.

"Me?" she asks dubiously. "And what are you planning to do?"

He ignores her. There isn't time to handle those questions. Or think about them. "There are more Jedi out there, I know it, but whatever you do, he'll sense it. You have one chance, and you have to make it right."

"Anakin, we hardly know anything about him – why are we even talking about this?!"

"When else would you like to?" he fires back. "We don't have a 'later' anymore. We're out of time."

Ahsoka frowns, reaching up with her other hand to touch his arm. Even now, he's still getting used to the contact. It's so foreign to him now. "I don't know what's going on, but whatever it is, I'll fight with you."

"So you say, after you try to kill me." His voice is more bitter than intended, but it's the truth. "It doesn't matter anymore." Nothing she says changes what happens, and for as much as he loves her, he can't trust her anymore.

The Force whispers in warning. He doesn't know why it even draws his attention up to the battle again – he doesn't want to watch – but it does.

He doesn't know how or why he reacts. Something inside him throws him forwards. He reaches out, and Ahsoka's other lightsaber flies to his hand from atop the hill where he dropped it earlier.

Maul clearly hadn't been expecting someone else to intervene in the fight. He'd been stupid enough to leave himself unshielded, and Anakin doesn't waste a moment before igniting the blade and throwing it. It sails across the sand, stabbing through the former Sith's chest. Anakin feels his life fading instantly and is slightly surprised when he feels numb about it. The Force carries the hilt back to his hands and turns off.

Everything goes quiet, and his gaze drops to the sand. Honestly, he has no idea why he did that. The Sith could've been talked into reason and helped them kill Sidious. Maybe. He should've thought it through more clearly.

"Anakin."

Why's it so hard to remember how to breathe? It should come naturally. It doesn't. Because of him. He keeps his head down, not wanting to see anyone, not wanting anything but for everything to just… stop. But Ahsoka's lightsaber hilt catches his attention, and he flips it over in his hands, wondering how she made it in times like these. It's not the same one she used to have, and he has her shoto. The one he made entirely.

He hears Obi-Wan stepping towards him and flinches back. Not now, not now, not now –

"You might want to keep your distance," Ahsoka warns suddenly. "He's been a little jumpy."

He wonders if she felt the surge of gratitude through their now-strengthened bond, even if he's been shielding. It's quiet. Too quiet. Maybe he's too impatient. Or too scared. He hates the silence. He has no idea what anyone's thinking and he won't unless he looks or feels, but he can't do either or this lightsaber might go flying at someone else. Ahsoka probably won't appreciate it if Obi-Wan is the next person on the other end. "If you're going to try killing me again, I suggest you hurry up about it." Way to go. He's almost tempted to facepalm. This childish body is making him act ridiculous.

There's a brief pause. "If what Ahsoka said is true, we have no reason to fight."

He wants to believe Obi-Wan, but he can't. And he hates himself for wanting to. This – this is the person who took everything from him. Sidious may have set it up, but it was Obi-Wan who chose to hurt him. But right now, there's nothing he can do about any of it. He itches to run, but he knows it'll do no good. "What do we need to do?"

"That's not something I have an answer to yet," Obi-Wan replies. "And first, Anakin, I think we should talk somewhere alone."

He should say something. He wants to say something, except all his five-year-old brain can process is to promptly burst into tears. His hands are shaking, and he tightens them over Ahsoka's lightsaber hilt, trying to breathe. Breathing is good. It's also hard and painful and practically impossible.

"Anakin," he says again, the voice that haunted his dreams. Obi-Wan is here, much too close, and he can still feel the fire crawling across him.

"Stay away from me!" Anakin yells, backing away. The sand is unsteady, and he can't go far. He can never go far enough. Nothing is ever enough, especially when Obi-Wan is involved.

Anakin senses him coming closer anyway, far too close. All he can do is continue backing away.

"He's not going to hurt you," Ahsoka promises, except she doesn't know the truth. And even if he won't, he should, and – and Anakin just doesn't want to be here.

"All I want is to know how to fix this," he protests. "I don't want to be here. I don't…" He chokes back a sob, struggling wildly to recenter himself. It's not as though Obi-Wan could do anything to him that he hasn't already. That doesn't make trying to face it easier, because it doesn't make sense. He was always good, and he always helped. So why…?

"First, I must ensure that correcting this… issue is the right choice," Obi-Wan replies.

Now that Maul is dead, Anakin senses Kanan and Ezra resurfacing from wherever they'd been hiding. Ahsoka moves closer to him, trying to offer comfort, and Anakin can't make sense of it. Why would she?

"They need your help," Anakin protests, even if part of him wouldn't mind Ahsoka being a child again. This isn't about him though.

"Yes," Obi-Wan agrees, "But that's beside the point. Ahsoka told me everything."

He might feel betrayed if he were currently stable enough to, but he's not and he can't think about anything except the panic tearing him apart. "So, what are you going to do with me?"

"I'm not going to hurt you. I only want to talk, Anakin."

"Right," Anakin snaps back bitterly, "Like you did last time?" The images are blurring over now, and it's only the constant rush of adrenaline keeping him from collapsing. He remembers the unimaginable agony as he lay there, trying to pull himself up the slope, unable to move. He remembers crawling back to the ship, half-paralyzed, fueled by the Dark Side, determined that this not be the end because he had to keep fighting, and now Anakin can't say why he bothered. Malachor was so much easier. Cowardly, but he just couldn't…

Obi-Wan sighs softly. "If you're a child again, perhaps there is some of Anakin left right now."

"That's not who I am anymore!" Anakin yells at him. "I can't be your perfect pet, so stop asking me to be!" He's too tired to keep on fighting. Too worn out to even think about it, and too exhausted to be afraid. If Obi-Wan is going to hurt him, then he will. It's not as if he deserves any less. He inhales shakily. "I didn't want this. I didn't want any of this."

He flinches again when Obi-Wan reaches for him, even if it's only to lift him gently into his arms. "You don't have to pretend," Anakin snaps. He hates how his voice sounds so high-pitched and childish and ugh. "I know you don't care. Sidious was the same way."

The contact would be calming, and maybe there's a strange note to it that is, but this is Obi-Wan and all his mind is doing is running through a thousand different scenarios, unable to think of anything except for how Anakin knows how small and breakable he is, and how he can't…

He can't move.

He hates being unable to move. It's the one thing he dreads more than anything except fire and med droids but those are practically three in one and –

He's well aware of how badly he's shaking, and he hates it, but there's nothing Anakin can do to stop it.

He thinks he zoned out somewhere in the middle of it, because the next thing he remembers is Hera talking in the background. She doesn't sound terribly happy about something. "Why is he so scared?" she asks, and Anakin tries to reach for that, to come back because he doesn't know why or what it is but she's nice and she's good and maybe she's a bit naïve too because he knows she won't hurt him or let anyone else do it.

Or maybe it's that she reminds him a little of someone. Just someone. "Don't look back."

"We hurt one another," Obi-Wan replies, "I imagine his brain is incapable of processing it."

"What did you do?" Ahsoka demands accusingly.

"I was sent to eliminate Vader, and I couldn't do it."

"Give him to me," Sabine says, and Anakin senses her moving closer. "I'll talk to him."

He doesn't know how, but he's still conscious enough to latch onto her the moment she takes him. She flickers like a flame in the Force, burns with the mark of a true Mandalorian warrior. That's something even as Vader he would have respected. He's not really Vader anymore either though. But there's an odd softness to her that he likes, too, and it…

It reminds him of someone. He's not sure who. Maybe it's everyone.

Anakin blinks back to himself when he enters an outrageously colored bedroom, as insane as the armor the said Mandalorian wears.

"Alright," she says, closing the door behind them after setting him down. Anakin stumbles slightly unsteadily before making himself at home on the floor, because why not? "Do you want to talk to him?"

He looks at her, dumbfounded. It's the first time someone actually asked him that. "It – it doesn't matter," he answers finally.

"Doesn't matter as in… you don't want to tell me, or you don't think I care?"

"Why would it matter?" he asks, confused. "I nearly killed you."

She lets out a quiet huff, pulling off her helmet and setting it on the ground next to her, kneeling so they're more at eye-level. Unfortunately, it means he comes face-to-face with that insanely colored hair of hers, and it's aqua, okay? It's brilliant. He can't help staring. It's not like he's seen real blue or aqua in years. "I was once an Imperial, too. I was left for dead by someone who called me her sister. I know what you're going through." It hits a little too close to home.

"Something tightens in his chest again and he tries to blink back tears. It doesn't really work. "He called me his brother," Anakin says with no small amount of bitterness, "Right before he left me there. It was the first time he ever said he loved me. I spent my whole life trying to be what he wanted, and he never cared. Then I saw him again, and he did the exact same thing."

"All I cared about before was myself," Sabine continues, "Until I came here and met these people. They gave me a chance to be something more, something better. I know how hard it can be to trust, but I think you should try. Maybe not with him, but with us."

"The Rebellion doesn't have the strength to help."

"It often doesn't feel like it," she agrees, "But at least we don't commit the same atrocities the Empire does. And I don't know what you've done, but there's no reason you can't come back."

"My master –"

"I don't know who you're talking about," she interrupts, "But you don't have a master. You're not a slave anymore."

He knows that. He's always known that, so why is it so confusing to hear? Why does it feel like he didn't know? "You have no idea what I've done," he settles on. "I'm a monster."

"You're only five. How harmful could a five-year-old be?"

"Why don't you ask my masters?" he bites out bitterly.

"What happened?" she asks, and Anakin has no idea what it is, but he wants to answer her. Something about her is welcoming. He finds an odd sense of companionship in her.

"It was years ago. I don't really remember anymore. My second master was mad at me for something. I don't know what. He was always angry and that was… and the first thing I did for the Empire was eliminate all the Jedi traitors. That was everyone, even… and I know Obi-Wan has a right to want to hurt me, so why am I so scared of him?" It's only a matter of time before Sabine turns on him, too, like everyone else, and he shouldn't try to speed it up, but it might hurt less and it…

"Well, fear is a natural process of self-preservation. Maybe if you really deserved it, you wouldn't be afraid."

"That doesn't make any sense." He can't imagine any other way, and he doesn't know why all these people are being so incredibly naïve because really. Of course, he deserves it. That doesn't mean he wasn't furious at Obi-Wan for it or just…

"Do you want to talk to him right now?" Sabine asks.

"Not alone," he admits, "But I don't want anyone else to be there to see the…" What is he trying to hide? It will all come out, anyway. Right? Maybe.

"I'm sure Ahsoka wouldn't mind being with you. She knew you both."

"I'm not sure I'm ready for her to find out what happened."

"We can figure something out," she promises. "Come on, kid." Sabine stands, picking up her helmet and pulling it on. "And if he's upsetting you too much, you can feel free to leave."

Right. Sure. The thought itself is enough to. It's not like she knows the gruesome details of that day and it wouldn't matter even if she did, because it doesn't matter. None of it does. All he can do is scramble to get ahold of himself and follow her out there. And hope this won't be… whatever it will be.

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