1Never to Regain
Sequel to "To Have Lost"
Note: Please read "To have lost" before reading the sequel otherwise you will be confused!
By: Anoke
Disclaimers: I Don't own Dragonball Z Or "Open Wounds " By Skillet
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I thought it was over. I thought my hell was over. He told me everything will be okay! It wasent! How long did it last? My peace? Two weeks! Two weeks we were a normal family! Two weeks my father acted as if he cared! Two weeks! Now! Now it is back to normal! No wait this is beyond normal! This is worse! Worse than it has ever been! They fight! thats all they do is fight! Im just sitting in my room, trying to drowned out the sound of your voice with my music! Of course it's not working I can still hear you! Your screaming for me. I just sit there! I don't make a sound. You come barging into my room screaming with rage
In the dark with the music on
Wishing I was somewhere else
Taking all your anger out on me, somebody help
I would rather rot alone
Then spend a minute with you
I'm gone, I'm gone
"You heared me calling you damnit!" he screams while grabbing me by the collar
"Let me go!" I scream
I wont take it! Before I messed things up I thought my father hated me! I just want things back to normal! I want my father to barley even notice me! I want my mother to be worry free and loving, I want my little sister to be able to run around and be a little kid! Now.. I messed up big time! Things were fine for the first two weeks... my father started to acted the way he did before I left. I got mad! I yelled I screamed! In otherwords I had a hissy fit.. But before.. He would just yell and scream back at me.. That time he took it to the next step...
And you can't stop me from falling apart
'Cause my self-destruction is all your fault
my father doesnt beat me! He just smacks me around.. Some might say its the same thing.. Abuse.. You get hit its abuse.. But thats not it! My father just smackes me a couple times when I scream at him.. Abuse would be diffrent.. Wouldnt it? Is it the same? Getting hit for no reason... I learned real quick not to talk back to my father, he changed.. He changed big time.. The result of me running away, confronting him, it made him bitter, it made him angry.. He yells at my mother and sister also.. It's so unlike him! Usually I get yelled at and punished.. Bulla is the little Princess.. She cant do anything wrong.. Or atleast thats what I thought.. My father tells me how much he hates me.. But then after all is said and done.. After I cover my wounds that he had given me.. He tells me how much he loves me.. How could he hate me? How could he love me?..
How could you, how could you, how could you hate me?
When all I ever wanted to be was you?
How could you, how could you, how could you love me?
When all you ever gave me were open wounds?
Finally after he smacked me around a little bit he went down stairs and fell asleep.. He was watching some program about children that disobey their parents.. I wanted to blast the TV.. He doesnt need any inspiration.. He's doing just fine on his own with the punishment part.. He never hit me like this before.. Before it was a punishment.. I did nothing wrong this time.. Yes I should have listened and came when he called.. But would the out come be any diffrent?
Downstairs the enemy sleeps
Leaving the TV on
Watching all the dreams we had turn into static
Doesn't matter what I do
Nothing's gonna change
I'm never good enough
He tells me he is going to stop me from doing this to myself.. Doing what? I asked the same question.. He says everything around me is falling apart. Its not my fault! It's his doesnt he see that? He says my training is being affected by something.. Even my grades are falling, im not getting enough sleep.. I cant take it! He wonders why im falling apart! When I do bad in training he hits me! When my mom complains about my grades he hits me.. When I say one word wrong he hits me!
And you can't stop me from falling apart
'Cause my self-destruction is all your fault
Im in my bed getting ready to fall alseep, when I hear someone coming up the stairs, heading my way.. The door creeps open
"Trunks..?" my father asks
"Yes father?" asking but already knowing what is going to happen
"about tonight.. Im.. Im sorry you know I don't hate you.. I do ..I do love you.. Remember our talk" he tells me
"Yeah dad I know.. I love you to.." I tell him
He always says that.. "remember our talk" .. Our talk.. Ha! That conversation died! He says he loves me! He says he hates me! He tells me to remember! Remember what? The way he treated me before our little talk? Or remember the two weeks he treated me as a human being?.. or how about remember all the times I've had to cover my bruises? I know he doesnt mean it.. But im just sounding like some of those depressed kid's who's dad hits them.. Am I? Am I a depressed kid who's dad hits him?
How could you, how could you, how could you hate me?
When all I ever wanted to be was you?
How could you, how could you, how could you love me?
When all you ever gave me were open wounds?
When I left home I left home for a reason.. I hated the way I was treated, I was promised it was going to change! It changed for a little while but something much worse came and happened and I don't like it! I hate it! I tell my self not to give up! To keep up a fair fight with him but it hurts! The words he says! His fists pounding down on me! It hurts! I want things to just be the same!
Tell me why you broke me down and betrayed my trust in you
I'm not giving up, giving in when will this war end?
When will it end?
When will it end? Will it end up with my death? Would my father take it that far? Would he hit me so bad, curse me so much that it killed me? Could he do that to his own son? I remember when I was younger.. How all I wanted to be was him, he was so strong.. Now.. Yes he is strong but he takes it out on me, his hate for me, his hate for anyone he takes out on me.. I want it to stop I want this war with my father to stop!
You can't stop me from falling apart,
You can't stop me from falling apart,
You can't stop me from falling apart,
'Cause my self-destruction is all your fault.
I want to scream at him.. He is just staring at me.. I want to scream and yell and tell him how it hurts how everything he does to me hurts. I want to yell and ask why he does it! Why he enjoys making me feel pain!
"No...I wont" I tell him in a whisper
"What was that?" he asks starting to get angry
"You heared me! I wont remember! I cant! I cant remember what barley happened! You probably just told me that to make me stay so I can be your punching bag!" I yell
"Thats it!" he yells
"No thats it for you!" I yell back
How could you, how could you, how could you hate me?
When all I ever wanted to be was you?
How could you, how could you, how could you love me?
When all you ever gave me were open wounds?
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Please Read!
Okay.. Now I know I took a diffrent approach with the sequel.. No I don't plan on making vegeta a evil ass that beats up trunks 24/7 I just had to work this in with the story to get my point accrosed .. I enjoy writing song fictions.. And I hope you enjoy the sequel to "To have lost" I will update as soon as possible.. I have school so I don't know when that will be maybe only 3 or 4 times a week I can update.. Plus I am working on the sequel to "Trunks's Mysteries Day"
Please Review
Anoke