Ch. 1: There's Enough Scum to Go Around
The cantina was not a derelict place by far, but it didn't look any better either. The lighting was a nasty yellow from dirty hanging lamps and shadows seemed to seep out of the corners, seeking to grab those who stalked too close. A swirling haze occupied what must have been the ceiling, encouraged by those embracing their demons… Luckily, Samus Aran had some efficient filters built into her helmet.
She passed by a small sign hanging on a wall that said "NO WEAPONS." Ironically, a bullet was buried deep into the center of the first "O." The hum and whine of tiny servomotors filled her ears as she sat down at an un-occupied booth with a sordid table. The stuff they served had better be cheap. As Samus finished this thought, a frightened looking young waiter came up to her table. It was easy to see why he was so skittish, the place was crawling with monstrous beings. There were fearsome looking creatures with teeth and dark, malevolent eyes. She wasn't that much of a prize herself, walking bionic armor with a cannon for an arm. What was a kid like him working here for…?
"M-may I take your order please?"
"I'll have some water, thanks."
"W-we don't have any..." Mizz Aran could not afford to get intoxicated tonight, ESPECIALLY tonight, but she was too thirsty.
"Then get me some dihydrogenousoxide," and she handed him a ready typed up "recipe," the elements needed to make the drink. Technology was amazing these days, you could whip up a compound within minutes. The kid didn't seem too smart, he wouldn't figure it out. "And for goodness sake be CAREFUL when you handle it!" Samus cried out in false warning. Nodding, the kid ran off to the mixer.
A few minutes later he brought back her "H2O," nice and fresh and hopefully clean. Samus took off her helmet so that she could actually drink it, carefully placing it on the table, and was un-surprised by the various gasps that sprung from the other customers. She looked up.
"What? Never seen a human female before?" With an absent minded chirp, a cricket hopped off her table. All those beasts that could, blinked, then returned to what they were doing the moment before.
After a few monotonous hours of enduring the suffocating atmosphere, hours marked by the occasional angry squeal and blaster shot, her dwindling patience paid off. As the scarred front door to the club whisked open, many of the aliens grunted or huffed. There were a few growls and high pitched noises mixed in.
The young waiter dashed under Samus's table.
Samus put back on her battle worn helmet.
"Just stay under the table okay, kid?" He nodded. Samus sighed and carelessly brought up her canon, pulling the trigger to power up the power beam shot, and aimed at the door. She'd wasted enough time just gathering dust at that nasty booth.
Her mood was an unpleasant one.
The door was still half open…was here target suspecting something? The charge shot whined to its peak of power as a flurry of movement from the door caught her waning attention and she fired. The poor wounded sign's last moments were marked by a flash of actinic light.
Samus growled, "Blast it!" There was only one idiot that could dodge that shot, and it wasn't her quarry.
"Sammy! Hold on, don't shoot!"
Roaring with rage, Samus covered the distance between herself and her new quarry in a few strides.
"Captain James Falcon, you bunghole! What are you doing here?!" She towered over the still crouching form of the blue flight-suited racer, who straightened up and retorted, "See here, broad! You can't go telling me what to do…! Hey, when did we get on middle name terms, hmmm?" The waiter cautiously looked out from under the table about the same time as the rest of the club's occupants began placing bets on who would shoot, or sucker punch, first. Some simply began leaving the cantina; a row between two of the galaxy's most feared bounty-hunters was not something one wanted to be in the middle of, especially if one was an angry woman in a mechanical super suit and the other was a burly pilot of an F-Zero racing craft.
Samus became very still…then exploded in a mildly controlled way.
"Don't. Call. Me. Broad. And stop trying to establish some connection between us."
Captain Falcon got a confused look on his face before replying, "Easy does it, Sammy, I'm just wondering how you figured out that my middle name was James, I've never told anyone." Silence reigned for a few heart beats. "And besides, your shoulders are 'broad' enough."
Samus couldn't respond to this immediately, caught in a maelstrom of extreme irritation, confusion, and outright anger. Finally, she sorted them out, trying to calm herself and prevent a tragic accident, and instead responded with a simmering stew of irritation and anger combined. "Captain Falcon, just get out before you ruin everything." She pointed out the door.
"But-," the Captain stuttered.
"Out!"
"Who says I'm going to ruin everything?"
With that, Samus flew across the room and smacked into the floor. An alien stood in her stead, more alarming looking than any Captain Falcon had ever seen. The creature was tall and wiry, with obsidian black bone spikes jutting out of its back, arms, head, and legs…The triangular head with its jutting jaw sat atop a thin black neck with orb like eyes on either side. Its body was overrun with wires…and it was armed with razor-like claws on its right hand that mirrored slippery light. The other hand had claws too, but they weren't sheathed in metal. Maybe the guy got metal implants…
Falcon processed all this in the few seconds just before he was painfully thrown against the wall by a backhand from Porcupine, as he had now named it. He fell down to the floor and into a crouch as Porcupine raked the wall above his head, using his momentum to spring back up and throw all his weight behind a fiery punch aimed at the creature's midsection, heaving the monster across the club and into a table. The terrified customers of the once relatively peaceful bar erupted in snorts and screams and blubbering, rushing in tides to get out the single exit.
Then he remembered. "Samus!" Captain Falcon struggled not to be carried out with the rest of the oncoming crowd as Porcupine slowly began to rise and move towards Samus's still form, baring its teeth. "Get up, girly!"
Samus opened her eyes, snapping into awareness. The creature was poised above and swiftly coming down with its pointy elbow, a painfully clear killing move aimed at her visor.
She rolled to the side, narrowly avoiding the creature's speared elbow as it smashed into the floor with a sickening crunch. As the angry E.T. wrenched its elbow out of the floorboards, Samus got on her feet and fired a screaming missile that smacked into the surprised beast and exploded.
Samus shielded her visor from the bright flash with her hand, remaining upright by leaning into the miniature shockwave and flame. When the smoke cleared, the air was full of wafting bits of ash and smoke from small fires. Lying on the floor, clearly dead, was the creature, something, black and glistening in the new daylight oozing out of its mouth. Samus frowned and growled, "That's not my quarry either...dangit." J. Falcon hefted himself from behind a table and walked over to Samus.
"That was quick," then, cringing at the sight on the floor, "Ewww…what do you mean that's not your quarry?" Actually, he was more interested in the fact that the creature wasn't in mushy pieces. He reasoned that it must have a strong exoskeleton-
"It's NOT my quarry, this wasn't the thing I was waiting for…and probably will NEVER FIND. Thank you, Captain Falcon, thank you for taking away my week's salary and wasting my valuable time." She began to exit the ruined cantina. Captain J. Falcon stood with his mouth open, "HEY! I saved your life..! Can't we talk this over?"
"No you didn't. I'm the one who plugged the big black surprise, remember? I blame you for my misfortune. I'm not talking to you. Go away."
"Oh…" Falcon stood there as Samus left the wreckage, feeling stung and looking forlorn. As he began to walk away he muttered to himself, "Why can't she be more…I dunno…subtle? I wasn't hitting on her anyway…maybe I should work on my people skills…"
No one noticed the ripple of air that passed over the unfortunate black alien. Nor the young waiter, of whom fearfully slunk away in the opposite direction of Samus, trying to hide a peculiar appendage.
...To be continued...
Next... Ch. 2: Old Friends
The cantina was not a derelict place by far, but it didn't look any better either. The lighting was a nasty yellow from dirty hanging lamps and shadows seemed to seep out of the corners, seeking to grab those who stalked too close. A swirling haze occupied what must have been the ceiling, encouraged by those embracing their demons… Luckily, Samus Aran had some efficient filters built into her helmet.
She passed by a small sign hanging on a wall that said "NO WEAPONS." Ironically, a bullet was buried deep into the center of the first "O." The hum and whine of tiny servomotors filled her ears as she sat down at an un-occupied booth with a sordid table. The stuff they served had better be cheap. As Samus finished this thought, a frightened looking young waiter came up to her table. It was easy to see why he was so skittish, the place was crawling with monstrous beings. There were fearsome looking creatures with teeth and dark, malevolent eyes. She wasn't that much of a prize herself, walking bionic armor with a cannon for an arm. What was a kid like him working here for…?
"M-may I take your order please?"
"I'll have some water, thanks."
"W-we don't have any..." Mizz Aran could not afford to get intoxicated tonight, ESPECIALLY tonight, but she was too thirsty.
"Then get me some dihydrogenousoxide," and she handed him a ready typed up "recipe," the elements needed to make the drink. Technology was amazing these days, you could whip up a compound within minutes. The kid didn't seem too smart, he wouldn't figure it out. "And for goodness sake be CAREFUL when you handle it!" Samus cried out in false warning. Nodding, the kid ran off to the mixer.
A few minutes later he brought back her "H2O," nice and fresh and hopefully clean. Samus took off her helmet so that she could actually drink it, carefully placing it on the table, and was un-surprised by the various gasps that sprung from the other customers. She looked up.
"What? Never seen a human female before?" With an absent minded chirp, a cricket hopped off her table. All those beasts that could, blinked, then returned to what they were doing the moment before.
After a few monotonous hours of enduring the suffocating atmosphere, hours marked by the occasional angry squeal and blaster shot, her dwindling patience paid off. As the scarred front door to the club whisked open, many of the aliens grunted or huffed. There were a few growls and high pitched noises mixed in.
The young waiter dashed under Samus's table.
Samus put back on her battle worn helmet.
"Just stay under the table okay, kid?" He nodded. Samus sighed and carelessly brought up her canon, pulling the trigger to power up the power beam shot, and aimed at the door. She'd wasted enough time just gathering dust at that nasty booth.
Her mood was an unpleasant one.
The door was still half open…was here target suspecting something? The charge shot whined to its peak of power as a flurry of movement from the door caught her waning attention and she fired. The poor wounded sign's last moments were marked by a flash of actinic light.
Samus growled, "Blast it!" There was only one idiot that could dodge that shot, and it wasn't her quarry.
"Sammy! Hold on, don't shoot!"
Roaring with rage, Samus covered the distance between herself and her new quarry in a few strides.
"Captain James Falcon, you bunghole! What are you doing here?!" She towered over the still crouching form of the blue flight-suited racer, who straightened up and retorted, "See here, broad! You can't go telling me what to do…! Hey, when did we get on middle name terms, hmmm?" The waiter cautiously looked out from under the table about the same time as the rest of the club's occupants began placing bets on who would shoot, or sucker punch, first. Some simply began leaving the cantina; a row between two of the galaxy's most feared bounty-hunters was not something one wanted to be in the middle of, especially if one was an angry woman in a mechanical super suit and the other was a burly pilot of an F-Zero racing craft.
Samus became very still…then exploded in a mildly controlled way.
"Don't. Call. Me. Broad. And stop trying to establish some connection between us."
Captain Falcon got a confused look on his face before replying, "Easy does it, Sammy, I'm just wondering how you figured out that my middle name was James, I've never told anyone." Silence reigned for a few heart beats. "And besides, your shoulders are 'broad' enough."
Samus couldn't respond to this immediately, caught in a maelstrom of extreme irritation, confusion, and outright anger. Finally, she sorted them out, trying to calm herself and prevent a tragic accident, and instead responded with a simmering stew of irritation and anger combined. "Captain Falcon, just get out before you ruin everything." She pointed out the door.
"But-," the Captain stuttered.
"Out!"
"Who says I'm going to ruin everything?"
With that, Samus flew across the room and smacked into the floor. An alien stood in her stead, more alarming looking than any Captain Falcon had ever seen. The creature was tall and wiry, with obsidian black bone spikes jutting out of its back, arms, head, and legs…The triangular head with its jutting jaw sat atop a thin black neck with orb like eyes on either side. Its body was overrun with wires…and it was armed with razor-like claws on its right hand that mirrored slippery light. The other hand had claws too, but they weren't sheathed in metal. Maybe the guy got metal implants…
Falcon processed all this in the few seconds just before he was painfully thrown against the wall by a backhand from Porcupine, as he had now named it. He fell down to the floor and into a crouch as Porcupine raked the wall above his head, using his momentum to spring back up and throw all his weight behind a fiery punch aimed at the creature's midsection, heaving the monster across the club and into a table. The terrified customers of the once relatively peaceful bar erupted in snorts and screams and blubbering, rushing in tides to get out the single exit.
Then he remembered. "Samus!" Captain Falcon struggled not to be carried out with the rest of the oncoming crowd as Porcupine slowly began to rise and move towards Samus's still form, baring its teeth. "Get up, girly!"
Samus opened her eyes, snapping into awareness. The creature was poised above and swiftly coming down with its pointy elbow, a painfully clear killing move aimed at her visor.
She rolled to the side, narrowly avoiding the creature's speared elbow as it smashed into the floor with a sickening crunch. As the angry E.T. wrenched its elbow out of the floorboards, Samus got on her feet and fired a screaming missile that smacked into the surprised beast and exploded.
Samus shielded her visor from the bright flash with her hand, remaining upright by leaning into the miniature shockwave and flame. When the smoke cleared, the air was full of wafting bits of ash and smoke from small fires. Lying on the floor, clearly dead, was the creature, something, black and glistening in the new daylight oozing out of its mouth. Samus frowned and growled, "That's not my quarry either...dangit." J. Falcon hefted himself from behind a table and walked over to Samus.
"That was quick," then, cringing at the sight on the floor, "Ewww…what do you mean that's not your quarry?" Actually, he was more interested in the fact that the creature wasn't in mushy pieces. He reasoned that it must have a strong exoskeleton-
"It's NOT my quarry, this wasn't the thing I was waiting for…and probably will NEVER FIND. Thank you, Captain Falcon, thank you for taking away my week's salary and wasting my valuable time." She began to exit the ruined cantina. Captain J. Falcon stood with his mouth open, "HEY! I saved your life..! Can't we talk this over?"
"No you didn't. I'm the one who plugged the big black surprise, remember? I blame you for my misfortune. I'm not talking to you. Go away."
"Oh…" Falcon stood there as Samus left the wreckage, feeling stung and looking forlorn. As he began to walk away he muttered to himself, "Why can't she be more…I dunno…subtle? I wasn't hitting on her anyway…maybe I should work on my people skills…"
No one noticed the ripple of air that passed over the unfortunate black alien. Nor the young waiter, of whom fearfully slunk away in the opposite direction of Samus, trying to hide a peculiar appendage.
...To be continued...
Next... Ch. 2: Old Friends